


Learning to Live Again

by MonPetitTresor



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Apocalypse, Brother Feels, Happy Ending, He gets better, Loki - Freeform, M/M, Mean Dean, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Slow Build, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, The boys are fighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-07 00:08:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 132,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4241886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonPetitTresor/pseuds/MonPetitTresor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I’m horrible at writing summaries, but here goes. Set after the boys went their separate ways. Sam called Dean to tell him that he was Lucifer’s vessel, only to have his brother tell him how much better they were apart. Hurt, and afraid, Sam did the only thing that he thought might work to keep Lucifer from claiming his vessel. Unfortunately, he woke up anyways. Only, when he woke, it was to find the Trickster of all people sitting on the bed across from him.</p><p>He hadn’t expected to see him of all people there, and he certainly hadn’t expected to find him in his car the next morning, announcing that he was going to be traveling with him. Together, they set out, one to try and stop this whole thing, and the other for reasons that he keeps to himself.</p><p>Loki’s open about his opinion that Sam is going to eventually say ‘yes’. To him, it’s not even a question To Sam, it’s the one thing he’s determined to keep from happening.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For those that know me, this is K, not J. This here is my gift to J, written for him, with great help from a few friends, without whom this wouldn't be possible. Eskimita, intoTheWilds, Ahmose, all have offered help here and there when I get stuck, even if it's just support, as have everyone else on J's FB. Thanks so much, all of you, for encouraging me. An thank you J!
> 
> For now, I have a few chapters already done that are being proofread, and I have the entire story from start to finish plotted out and outlined. There will be updates every Friday, at least. There might be two updates a week now and again, or if I get the rest written quickly. Please don't be afraid to let me know what you think! This is my longest SPN story and I'm both nervous and excited. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Don't forget to R&R!

_“So, what, you're just gonna walk back in and we're gonna be the dynamic duo again?”_

_“Look, Dean, I can do this. I can. I'm gonna prove it to you.”_

_“Look, Sam—it doesn't matter—whatever we do. I mean, it turns out that you and me, we're the, uh, the fire and the oil of the Armageddon. You know, on that basis alone, we should just pick a hemisphere. Stay away from each other for good.”_

_“Dean, it does_ not _have to be like this. We can fight it.”_

_“Yeah, you're right. We can. But not together. We're not stronger when we're together, Sam. I think we're weaker. Because whatever we have between us—love, family, whatever it is—they are always gonna use it against us. And you know that. Yeah, we're better off apart. We got a better chance of dodging Lucifer and Michael and this whole damn thing, if we just go our own ways.”_

_“Dean, don't do this.”_

_“Bye, Sam.”_

_Sam and Dean “The End”_

* * *

Too familiar tremors shook Sam’s hands as he sat on the edge of his motel bed. He knew this feeling, knew the sensation well, and he cursed himself for it. Cursed that he had ever been stupid enough to put himself in this position. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t his fault this time. Those bastards had pinned him down, tried to force the demon blood down his throat, and he’d spat it back in their faces. Still, that hadn’t been enough to completely stop him from getting a taste. Even after he’d spat it out, he’d still had to breathe, and that had been all it took to wash some of that blood down his throat. He’d tried—God, had he tried. But he knew that, in the end, it was still his fault. It was still his fault he was sitting here now fighting through the low key withdrawal that even that tiny amount had given him. Because, if he hadn’t taken that first drink from Ruby, if he hadn’t been so damn _stupid_ to screw himself up like this, than he wouldn’t have ever been in this position.

The addict that lived inside of Sam was screaming at him to go out and find a demon. To drink them until they were drained dry. _You’ll feel better_ that voice whispered to him. _Remember how it felt? Remember that power?_

No! Sam curled his hands into fists and fought back those voices. He’d become pretty good at ignoring their whispers. There were other voices in his head, louder voices, that could usually drown out the addict in him. But the voices he heard now didn’t help to take the feeling away. If anything, they made it worse. He could hear Lucifer’s words from his dream coming back to him, whispering, taunting, promising. And he could hear Dean, loud, angry, and then tired. Just, tired. That one cut almost the deepest of all. To know that he’d pushed his brother to that point. That he’d put Dean through so much that his brother was just tired. Too tired to even be angry anymore. All because of him.

Sam knew what he’d done. Could sit here and list them off, one by one, the things that had slowly destroyed his relationship with his brother, destroyed himself, and now could very well be responsible for destroying the world.

It felt like no matter what choice he made or what direction he went anymore it was always going to be the wrong one. There were so many times that he should’ve just listened to what his brother told him. If he had, they wouldn’t be here. Lucifer wouldn’t be free. Sam had proved over and over that his own judgment wasn’t to be trusted.

But he’d tried to go back to Dean. Tried to put himself with a person whose judgment he knew he could trust. Only, his brother had turned him away. ‘Stay away from each other for good’, he’d said. Pick a hemisphere. And Sam had only gotten to tell him about Lucifer. He couldn’t imagine what Dean would’ve been like if he’d told him about the hunters that had tried to feed him the blood. Maybe it was better he hadn’t said it. He’d put so much on Dean’s shoulders already. Enough was finally enough.

Dean had been right to deny bringing them back together. All Sam would do would get in his way and drag him down. He obviously wasn’t any help in stopping things. It wouldn’t be fair to saddle Dean with him again. His brother was already busy enough trying to clean up the giant mess that Sam had made. Asking him to babysit his freaky addict of a brother wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right.

It was better this way.

Dean and Castiel could work together to try and stop the apocalypse. They made a great team. At least Dean didn’t have to worry about trusting Cas. The angel would always have his back. He’d take care of him like Sam couldn’t. If there was anyone that stood a chance of fixing things, it was them. They could work things from their end, figure out a way to stop Michael and save the world.

And Sam? Well…

His eyes drifted to the duffle bag that was lying on the ground. His own words from his dream echoed back at him. ‘ _I will kill myself before letting you in._ ’

Lucifer had said that he’d just bring him back, but he was the Father of Lies. No matter that he had promised not to lie to Sam. What liar was going to admit that they were going to lie to you?

‘ _Because it had to be you, Sam. It always had to be you_.’

No. It didn’t have to be him. Everything else had been him .Everything else, he had done. It was his fault. But this? This, he could fix. This, he could stop. Let Dean and Castiel take care of the rest. Sam would do this one last thing for his brother. He would get this right, no matter what the cost.

His thoughts were surprisingly calm as he closed his hand around his gun.

Lucifer had said he’d just bring him back. It was time to test that theory.

With a steady hand, he lifted the gun and pulled the trigger.

* * *

The first thing Sam saw when he opened his eyes was the stain on the motel room ceiling that looked oddly like a wendigo. He’d stared at it earlier, a bit disturbed by it. Seeing it now had him sighing and closing his eyes once more. If he was seeing the stained motel ceiling it meant that his plan hadn’t worked. _He wasn’t lying, at least about this. He brought me back._ Of course he had. Because when had any plan that Sam built ever gone the way he wanted? He should’ve known it wouldn’t be this easy. He wasn’t going to be able to escape this easily. _You started this whole mess—it’s only right you don’t get a ‘get out of jail free’ card like this._

Sighing, he tried to gather enough energy to sit up. When he opened his eyes again he tilted them back, tilting his head back as well, to look at the wall. Surprise showed on his face when there wasn’t any sort of mess there. That was…odd.

“I cleaned you up.” A voice said from somewhere off to the side. “And let me tell you, it wasn’t a pretty sight. But, hey! At least we got proof now you’re more than just a pretty face. There actually were some brains in there. Or, well, all over the wall. Which _I_ cleaned up.” He paused, giving a dramatic, long-suffering sigh. “You’re _welcome_ , by the way.”

Surprise had Sam spinning quickly. One hand was already reaching for a gun that should’ve been there and wasn’t. What he found was the very last thing he’d expected. There, sitting cross legged on the bed opposite his, was the Trickster. He sat there cross legged, eating from a bag of skittles. What made the whole situation even more disconcerting was to briefly see the sad look on the usually mocking face before it was replaced with a smirk. Sam wanted to yell at him. To demand what the hell it was he thought he was doing here. But when he tried, he found he just didn’t have the strength to do it. Pressing a hand on the bed, he pushed himself upright. “If you’ve come here to kill me, as you saw there’s no real point.”

“I’m not here to kill you, Sam.” The Trickster’s voice was uncharacteristically sober. Then he shrugged and sounded a bit more like himself. “Wouldn’t work, right? And I’m not one to let someone off that easy. Where’s the fun in that?”

“Then why are you here?”

He’d expected some sort of flippant answer. Something a little more mocking and a little less serious.  Yet again, the Trickster surprised him. “Thought I’d check up on my favorite hunter. I heard about what happened with those other hunters.”

“Why on earth do you care?”

“I don’t.” The Trickster argued. “You’re the idiot who drank skanky’s blood to begin with, even after me trying to scare you on the straight and narrow. If you’d just listened to me to begin with, we wouldn’t have to worry about this crap fest.” Then he grimaced a little, shrugging one shoulder as he popped a couple skittles in his mouth. “I just think consent is an important thing. You didn’t consent.”

Sam couldn’t stop the snort that tore from him, a half laugh that sounded both hollow and cynical. “Wouldn’t that be a novel experience.”

He was facing the wrong way as he climbed up from the bed and so he missed the grimace that crossed the Trickster’s face. By the time Sam turned back around, his face was composed once more, a hint of its usual mockery in place. “Never pictured you the suicidal type here, kiddo. I knew you were crazy. Didn’t know you were a coward, too.”

“What business is it of yours?” Sam asked flatly, refusing to rise to the bait.

The Trickster’s smirk grew a little. “Well, you did let big and nasty loose on the world, a world I happen to enjoy. If he kills off all the humans, who’s gonna make my chocolate?”

Sam shrugged one shoulder. “It would’ve solved the problem if it had worked.” And why he was explaining himself to a Trickster of all things, he had no idea. He didn’t owe this monster any answers. But he was just too damn tired to really care all that much at the moment. Just, tired. His gaze fell on the gun on the ground and he sighed before bending down to pick it up. His hands were steadier, he noticed, and he snorted. “Hey, at least he brought me back minus the withdrawal. I guess this was good for something.” He mumbled to himself.

There was a second of quiet. All he could hear was the crinkling of the candy bag that the Trickster held. Then, “By the way, where’s that brother of yours? I’m surprised he hasn’t come busting in yet.”

“Not here.” Sam said flatly. There was a pang inside, hot and sharp, and he thrust it down. He shoved the gun into his duffle. Clenching his hands tight on the strap in front of him, he refused to turn around, refused to look at the being who had only ever tortured him in the past. He just, he couldn’t deal with this right now. Not with this. Not with him. Wasn’t it bad enough that Sam was torturing himself? That Lucifer was in his dreams? Did he have to put up with this everywhere else, too? His shoulders slumped and he bowed his head down. “Can you just…If you’re not here to torture me, would you just go? Just…go.”

When Sam turned back around, there was only a wrapper on the bed to show that the Trickster had ever been there to begin with.

The hunter shook his head. Really, he should be more worried than he was about the fact that he apparently had a Trickster stalker. He should be trying to figure out why the Trickster felt the need to come and check up on him after hearing what had happened, or how he’d even heard to begin with. Instead, he threw the wrapper in the garbage and then curled up on the bed, not quite able to bring himself to lay in the other one, no matter that it was clean now.

It took a long time for him to drift off to sleep. When he did, he dreamt of blood and death, and a low laugh that echoed in the dark.

* * *

The next morning Sam woke with the sun. He went through the motions, showering and dressing himself, even though his body wanted nothing more than to climb right back into bed and curl up for a few more hours. His dreams wouldn’t allow it, he knew. His night hadn’t been haunted by Lucifer as he’d been half afraid of but that didn’t mean that his sleep was restful. There was plenty of fodder for nightmares rolling around in his mind. A man could only take so much of that before enough was enough. He’d dealt with less sleep before.

Once he was showered and dressed, he gathered up his things, which were admittedly few. He paused when he came across his phone. It was off; a rarity for him. In his family they’d always stressed the importance of being able to contact one another. Keeping a phone on them at all times. You don’t turn it off unless you absolutely have to just in case someone has to get in contact with you. But who was there to get in contact with him anymore? Who was left out there who gave a damn? Dean had been clear on his feelings when Sam had called from the road last night. Not that it was any less than Sam deserved.

Curling his hand around the phone, the young hunter stared at it for a moment, and then deliberately turned and dropped it into the trash can. He left the motel room without looking back.

The first thing he did was go and check himself out. Then he made his way over to his car. Where he was going, he wasn’t sure. Hell, right now, he wasn’t even sure what he was going to do. He had a loose idea that he needed to stop Lucifer somehow. But the actual how of it? He had no idea. How did one stop the devil?

The last thing he’d expected to find when he reached his car was the Trickster stretched out in the passenger’s seat. But one second he was putting his bag in the trunk and the next he was closing the lid and got a clear view of the pagan through the window.

Sam marched around the car and yanked open the driver’s door, dropping down into his seat. He didn’t bother closing the door before he turned to glare. “What’re you doing here?”

The Trickster looked up from the magazine he was reading and grinned around the stick of a sucker. “Morning, Sam-a-lam-a!”

“What’re you doing in my car?”

He lifted up the magazine he held, a Weekly Enquirer, and smirked. “Homework.”

“Homework…” Somehow, the idea wasn’t all that surprising. It brought up a few questions that Sam _almost_ asked. Then he shook his head and waved a hand in the air. “No, you know what, I don’t wanna know. Just, go do it somewhere else, all right? Somewhere _not_ my car.”

“Well now that’s not very friendly.” The Trickster said, wagging a finger at him.

Sam found himself snorting once more and reflected to himself that the pagan seemed to incite that response in him rather frequently. “Pardon me for not being friendly to monsters. It hasn’t exactly worked out well for me so far.”

“He can be taught!” A snap of the fingers and a graduation cap appeared on Sam’s head.

He scowled and yanked the hat off, throwing it into the backseat. “Would you just get out of here already so I can figure out where I’m going?”

That got a raised eyebrow and a look that was most definitely nosey. “Aren’t you off to meet up with darling big bro? I’m surprised to see you without him.”

“Even brotherly love has its limits.” Sam pointed out, not quite able to hold in the snark. “Setting the devil free kind of falls in the ‘too much’ category. Go figure.”

“Boo hoo. You think he should just forgive you?”

Sam let out a hoarse, self-deprecating laugh. “No. Of course not.” Why was he explaining himself to the Trickster? Why on earth was he still sitting here instead of going to grab a stake or something like he should be doing?

“Pfft. Maybe cause you know it won’t work. And it’s Loki, not ‘The Trickster’. Even monsters have names, you know.” The Trickster—Loki—said scathingly, proving as he did Sam’s theory that the god could read his mind. Then he moved in his seat and folded his magazine closed, focusing on Sam. “So what are you planning on doing?”

Mentally he logged away that little fact. Apparently not just a Trickster, but Loki. He wondered if he really meant the actual Loki. That was a question for a different time, though. “Hunt. Keep saying no. Try to find a way to stop the devil. I figure Dean and the angels can work on the rest of it.”

“So you’re just gonna pawn off your mess on your brother, huh? Wow, Gigantor. Nice. Real class act.”

The hunter couldn’t even argue that. He shrugged and settled into his seat. It was apparent Loki wasn’t going anywhere and he was tired of just sitting here in the parking lot. He’d already proved many times over he could vanish and appear at will and there wasn’t anything that Sam knew that could keep him out. He might as well get some distance between himself and the hotel while he listened. Shutting his door, he pulled his buckle on and then started the car. “I never claimed to be classy. It’s better this way, anyways.”

“Saves you from having to do any work.” Loki mocked.

He shrugged a little before backing the car out of its spot. “I’ve already proved I’m not good at making those kinds of decisions. I just make things worse.” There was no whine to his tone, no self-pity, just a flat statement of what he saw as fact. “So I’m going to focus on the problem that I might actually have a chance at. I’ll stop him. Somehow. If I can just solve this, Dean can do the rest like he’s supposed to.”

There was a long moment of quiet before Loki flashed him another one of those bright grins. Then he made a show of deliberately settling down into his seat. The magazine vanished with a finger snap, but a cup of what smelled like cocoa took its place. “Sounds like fun.”

The way he said that had Sam sneaking a look over at him. He couldn’t actually mean….? No. But that grin grew bigger and Sam stifled a groan. “You are _not_ coming with me.”

“I’d like to see you stop me, baby Winchester.”

“I don’t need you!” Sam snapped, trying to split his focus between the road and the smug pagan beside him. “I’ve had enough of teaming up with monsters, thanks. It never exactly works out all that well in case you haven’t noticed.”

Loki shrugged in a way that suggested that clearly wasn’t his problem at all. “Well, you’ve got me.”

“You’re gonna, what, ride around with me and help me try to stop Lucifer?”

“Hells no.” Loki spat out. “Are you kidding? I’m not dumb enough to go after that bastard. I’m just here for the entertainment. Plus, y’know, someone’s gotta keep you alive if your brother isn’t here to do it. I think last night proves that. Of course, it also kind of proves you _can’t_ die, so there’s that…”

“Why does it matter to you whether I live or die? Why do you keep trying to save me?” Sam demanded, at the end of his rope. “You’re usually the one torturing me!”

One of Loki’s hands patted Sam’s arm. “I told you, you’re my favorite. If anyone’s gonna mess with you, it’s gonna be me.”

There were so many arguments that Sam could make to that and not a single one of them would do him any good. There wasn’t any arguing with Loki. That was something Sam had learned about the Trickster. Arguing with him wouldn’t do anything but give Sam a headache and he was already battling one of those. Sneaking a look over at his passenger, he had a bad feeling that even if he did find a way to kick him out of the car, the Trickster would just follow him anyways. Better to at least keep him where he could see him. He’d get bored eventually.

Loki’s grin turned a bit smug. “So where are we headed?”

Sighing, Sam shook his head. “For now? Far, far away from here.”


	2. Chapter 2

_“Just take us back to that Tuesday—er, Wednesday—when it all started. Please. We won't come after you, I swear.”_

_“You swear”._

_“Yes.”_

_“I don't know. Even if I could—”_

_“You can.”_

_“True. But that don't mean I should. Sam, there's a lesson here that I've been trying to drill into that freakish Cro-Magnon skull of yours.”_

_“Lesson? What lesson?”_

_“This obsession to save Dean? The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? Nothing good comes out of it. Just blood and pain. Dean's your weakness. And the bad guys know it, too. It's gonna be the death of you, Sam. Sometimes you just gotta let people go.”_

_“He's my brother.”_

_“Yup. And like it or not, this is what life's gonna be like without him.”_

_The Trickster and Sam “Mystery Spot”_

* * *

Riding around with a trickster as his passenger was both like and yet unlike what Sam had thought it would be. He talked almost incessantly, which wasn’t any real surprise. A lot of it was inane babble that Sam tuned out. Some of it, though, he found himself paying attention to, even against his better judgment. Loki regaled him with tales of some of his favorite pranks—against both humans and the other gods. Thor, it seemed, was often the victim of Loki’s trickster nature. Sam listened to the stories and found himself shaking his head more than once. Then he’d mentally scold himself. Maybe he didn’t have any way of actually forcing Loki to leave; that didn’t meant that he had to treat him like he was welcome to be here. They weren’t friends and he would do well to remember that.

They spent most of the day in the car, stopping only at Loki’s insistence when the trickster demanded that Sam feed him. Why he couldn’t just snap up something of his own to eat was a mystery. “Can’t you just wait?” He asked.

“Why? It’s not like you even know where you’re going.” Loki pointed out. “Now, feed me, Samarooni!”

Sam’s hands clenched on the wheel and he tried to focus on the road and not roll his eyes. “It’s Sam.” He growled. Yet somehow, he found himself flipping on his blinker to take the next exit. The car needed gas anyways, he told himself. “You know, you’re the one that invited yourself on this trip. I didn’t ask you along. Why on earth should I feed you? Especially when you can call up any food you want!”

“Cause I’m just that cute.”

“Pull the other one. It’s got bells on.”

With Loki snorting in laughter, Sam shook his head and turned into the nearest fast food place. That seemed like Loki’s type of restaurant. Quick, greasy, horrible for your health. He pulled the car into the parking lot after a quick look around. Perfect. There was a store over there that should have just what he needed. Pulling out the keys, he slipped them into his pocket as he looked over at his passenger. “While you get your food, I’m gonna pop in that store over there. I’ll meet you back here.”

He got out of the car before the trickster could say anything. Stuffing his hands down into his pockets against the chill in the air, he made his way over to the store.

Ten minutes later he was making his way back to the car with a brand new cell phone and a large cup of convenience store coffee. The phone had been his main goal though the coffee was pretty damn important too. He didn’t need to be falling asleep at the wheel. But mostly, he’d wanted a phone to replace the one that he’d thrown away. Just because he was trying to avoid contact with his brother didn’t mean that he wanted to be without a way to contact anyone. Unfortunately, the phone brought up the one topic of conversation that Sam really didn’t want, and Loki wasn’t the least bit shy about addressing it. The trickster, of course, was already back in the car, a large brown sack in his lap that smelled strongly of cheeseburgers.

Loki watched him as he sat in the driver’s seat and started to open up his new phone. “Lose your last one?”

“Something like that.” Sam mumbled. He didn’t really feel like explaining why he’d thrown away his last phone. If he did that, he might have to admit just how afraid he was to hear from his brother. Their last call had been difficult enough on him and Dean had made his wishes very, very clear. Sam was just doing what his brother wanted him to. He was leaving him alone and letting him do his own thing without the having to constantly watch out for his freaky little brother the whole time.

He remembered abruptly that Loki could read his thoughts when he heard the low whistle from beside him. “That’s one hell of a pity party you got going on in that massive cranium of yours, Gigantor. Would you like a little cheese, maybe, to go with all that whining?”

“You can’t criticize what goes through my head.” Sam snapped at him. “It’s my head. If I want to whine in there, it’s no one’s business but mine. If you don’t like it, stay out. Or better yet, _get out of my car_.”

The last reaction he’d expected Loki to have to that was to grin at him. The trickster settled back in his seat and looked a bit smug. “There it is. I knew that temper was in there somewhere. I much prefer that over the angst fest you had going on.” Reaching down into the bag in his lap, he pulled something out and held it Sam’s way. “For that, you get lunch.”

“I’m not hungry.” Sam said reflexively. He hadn’t been hungry for a while. Not since those hunters had poured the demon blood into his mouth. Everything he ate lately tasted like sulfur. He knew it was all in his head, but that didn’t make it stop.

“Starving yourself will have just the same effects as shooting yourself in the head, only slower and more painful. In the end, he’ll still bring you back.” He shoved the burger towards him. “I’m taking over Deano’s job until you two get your heads out of your asses and get back together. Someone needs to take care of you. You obviously don’t.”

Those words hurt. Not that Loki thought he couldn’t take care of himself, but the implication that Dean would come back and do it, because Sam knew that wasn’t happening. Dean was done taking care of him. He was done caring. In the back of Sam’s mind echoed his brother’s words. ‘ _Dad always said I'd either have to save you or kill you. Well, I'm giving you fair warning. I'm done trying to save you._ ’ Those words had cut deep and recent events had scraped away whatever scab had formed over them. “Dean’s not coming back.” Sam meant to snap it, but it came out sounding far more pained than he’d wanted it to.

Loki must not have been in his head right then, or hadn’t picked up on the memory of Dean’s words, because he was looking at Sam like he couldn’t believe he’d just said that, and if he’d been in his head at all he would’ve known the truth. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You two are the most disgustingly, erotically codependent pair of brothers I’ve ever met. The last time you two were separated, you were ready to rip apart everything to get him. I should know—I was the one on the other end of the stake. Where was this easy acceptance back then?”

“ _Back then_ , Dean was dead. _You_ killed him, over and over. There was something I could actually do about that.” Sam growled at him. Then he deflated a little, some of the pain seeping over the anger, and his hand clenched down on the steering wheel while his other tightened over his cup of coffee until he was lucky it didn’t break open. Deliberately he avoided looking over at his passenger. “There’s nothing I can do this time. This time, Dean’s the one that wanted the space. He said we’ve got a better chance of dodging all this if we go our separate ways. To pick a hemisphere.” He couldn’t help the bitter tone to those last few words. They’d stung, a lot. “I’m just doing what he wants.”

He wasn’t looking at his passenger, but he could clearly hear his surprise. “Seriously?”

Sam shrugged, his muscles so tense it was more of a jerky twitch than anything. “I told you, even brotherly love has its limits. I did a lot of bad stuff, as you’re so fond of reminding me.”

“Yeah, but, you did it for him. Isn’t that your guys’ MO? That’s kind of what got you into this mess to begin with. Dean, doing something stupid to save you. Weren’t you trying to do the same thing?”

That hadn’t been what Sam had expected to hear. Where was the mockery? The insults? The jokes? He turned his head and furrowed his brows. “What happened to your earlier mocking?”

Seemingly giving up on trying to feed Sam, he pulled the burger back, settling on opening it for himself. He didn’t look up from the wrapper as he started to speak in a voice that held that hint of too-serious that had been there earlier, the tone that had confused Sam so much, seeming so out of place. “I’m not saying you didn’t make yourself into a monster, kiddo. I’m just saying, you did it because it’s what you thought the world needed, and because you loved your brother that damn much, no matter what it cost you. And it was wrong, but I guess…I can respect that. The reasons. The faith.”

This was getting far too personal. Too serious. Sam blew out a breath and tried to force down the tension. Too many years with his brother as a role model had him trying to diffuse some of the tension with humor. It always worked with Dean; it made sense it would work with Loki. Whether either one would want to admit it or not, the two were quite a lot alike. “Careful, Loki. You sounded almost human there.”

Surprised honeyed eyes shot up to him and then narrowed on him. That spark of humor was back, though. “Bite your tongue, mortal.”

There. Tension, gone. Sam took a drink off his coffee and then set it in the cup holder. Then he pulled out his keys and started the car. Beside him, Loki munched happily on his greasy cheeseburger, looking extremely content, and it was a bit creepy just how unbothered Sam found himself by the trickster’s presence. “So,” Loki asked around a mouthful of food. “Figure out where we’re going yet?”

“For now, we’ll drive until dark. I’ll figure out the rest then.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Reaching out, Loki patted Sam’s arm. “Drive, Jeeves!”

Sam shot him a low level bitchface. Then he put the car in gear and drove.

* * *

Loki vanished as soon as Sam hit the motel room for the night, not even bothering to leave the car and come inside with him. He just looked at Sam as soon as they parked and, with a cheery “Catch ya later, Sambrino!” he snapped and was gone.

It was tempting to get right back into the car and on the road while Loki was gone. A voice in his head that sounded a lot like his brother told him to put some distance between him and his annoying stalker. But Sam had a feeling that wasn’t going to work. Loki had found him before, after all. What would stop him from finding Sam again? There was no telling what kind of mood he’d be in once he found him, too. He really didn’t need to piss off the Trickster. So far he’d been lucky in that there hadn’t been a single prank all day. That had to be some kind of record for him. Sam wasn’t going to push his luck. Besides, he’d get bored. It was just how Loki was. The novelty or whatever it was that had brought him here would eventually fade away and then he’d either vanish completely or start playing the games that Sam was more familiar with from him. Either way, he’d give up eventually on this whole buddy-buddy thing he’d been playing at today. Sam could wait him out.

There had to be some reason for Loki to be following him, though. Oh, sure, he’d showed an interest in Sam so far, going out of his way to try and teach Sam a lesson with the Mystery Spot. Memories of that had the younger Winchester wincing as he settled down onto his bed with his laptop. He didn’t have it in him to tell Loki that he’d understood the man’s lesson loud and clear. Dean was his weakness, most definitely, and he needed to learn to let him go. At the time it just hadn’t been possible. Even now, even with them apart, he couldn’t completely let go of his brother. It didn’t matter if Dean had let go of him or not.

Sure, if he’d let Dean go like Loki had tried to force him to do, he wouldn’t have gone off the deep end when his brother died, and the whole thing with Ruby never would’ve happened. But even knowing that… Sam couldn’t. He just couldn’t. Dean was the only family he had left whether or not his brother wanted to claim him. Dean was his whole reason for fighting. His reason to keep saying no to Lucifer. If he let go of that, what was there left to hold on to? He couldn’t do this without something to keep him going. Protecting Dean, fighting for him, trying not to disappoint him any further, were the only things Sam had left.

Shaking away his thoughts, Sam pulled his laptop open and turned his attention to trying to find something he _could_ do.

* * *

Even though he knew to expect it, it was still a surprise when he came out in the morning and once more found Loki waiting. Sam shook his head as he made his way over to the car. He didn’t notice the slight smile on his lips. When he slipped down into the car, Loki held out a cup of coffee towards him, and God, did it smell wonderful. Sam hesitated briefly and Loki rolled his eyes. “I didn’t poison it.” He said scathingly. “Give me a little credit. I’m more creative than that.”

Well, that was true enough. And it wasn’t like he needed to drug or poison Sam’s drinks anyways. Not when he had the kind of power he did at his fingertips. All he’d have to do is snap to get what he wanted. Reassuring himself with that, Sam reached out and took the cup, ignoring just how pleased Loki suddenly looked. “Thanks.”

“No prob.” Loki settled back with his own coffee, knees curled up in his seat and his body angled towards Sam. “So, figure out where you’re going yet?”

There was no real harm in telling him. He’d just hang around and find out anyways. “Haunting, next town over. Looks like a salt-n-burn, but I’m not sure. Thought I’d go check it out.”

To his surprise, Loki looked excited in a childish sort of way. He was grinning broadly like a kid told they were going to get a toy today. “Sounds like fun!”

No matter that Sam had told himself that he was just going to run with this, just let Loki do what he wanted and get it out of his system, he couldn’t stop himself. This was just so damn out of character and it was throwing him off. “Okay, I’m sorry, I have to ask. This doesn’t make any sense.” He turned in his seat so that they were more face to face. “Why are you doing this? Really? This doesn’t seem like you.”

Loki didn’t seem at all perturbed by his question. He shrugged his shoulder and sipped off of his own, ridiculously sweet smelling coffee. “The world’s going to end. Might as well be entertained until then, right? An you’re pretty damn entertaining.”

“Gee, your support is overwhelming.” Sam deadpanned.

Loki smirked at him. “Just stating facts, kiddo. Lucifer’s gonna wear you like the pretty little prom dress you are. I’m just having my fun with you until then.”

“I won’t say yes.”

This time the look Loki gave him couldn’t be called anything but pitying, and it made Sam clench his teeth so hard his jaw ached. “You’ve been groomed for this from the start, Winchester. From Azazel, straight up to Princess Hell-Bitch. You’ll say yes.”

“So why bother hanging out with me and following me on hunts? Why not just hand me over if you’re so damn sure?”

“I keep telling you, Samoose, you’re my favorite. Who else would I spend the end of days with?” He flashed a grin that was more of a leer and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Plus, the view here is _fantastic_.”

Sam sighed and rolled his shoulders, trying to chase away the tension there. “I don’t understand you.”

“That’s okay. My awesomeness is too much for your puny human brain to comprehend.”

A scathing reply sat on the tip of his tongue before he swallowed it down. It was probably safer not to antagonize the god of mischief. He settled for sighing again, a habit that he’d always had that had driven Dean insane, and which seemed to be worse in Loki’s presence. Was there any point in arguing this?

“Nope, not really.”

He shot Loki another bitchface. “Stay out of my head.” Turning, he focused on starting the car, ignoring the smug grin his passenger was wearing. “But, Sammy! I hear all sorts of interesting things in there. Anyone ever tell you that you Winchesters repress a little _too much_? You might wanna try letting things out now and again. It’d make life a whole lot more fun.”

“Yeah, sure.” He slanted a look over at Loki while putting the car in gear. “Let me go grab a stake. I’ll so you just how expressive I can be.”

“Those don’t work.” Loki said in a sing-song voice.

“No, but it’ll sure as hell make me feel good.”

The sound of Loki’s laughter echoed through the car.

* * *

Sam had been so sure that Loki would eventually get bored with following him but that didn’t seem to be the case. Each morning when Sam came out of his motel room, the trickster was there, either waiting in the passenger’s seat or sitting on the hood of the car, and each night he left when Sam went to tuck in. It was almost like being back with Dean in some ways—pranks included. Sam learned quickly that Loki was even worse than Dean when it came to that, which made complete sense. He wasn’t all that surprised the first time he went to drink his coffee and found the sugar had been replaced with salt. Or when he came out of the shower one morning and his hair was neon blue. The only thing that surprised him was that he wasn’t getting it _worse_. Somehow, he expected pranks of a bit of a, well, a higher caliber. Especially after what he’d seen the first time they met Loki. But this? This was juvenile. Then again, he wasn’t going to question his luck. Better this than some of the other things that Loki could be doing.

It was about a week after he joined that he started to stick around in the evenings, actually coming into the motel room and relaxing for a bit with Sam while they ate dinner and discussed the case. So far, Sam had taken them on two basic salt-n-burns, which hadn’t really required them to interact much with people. Find the haunting, do some research, find the body and burn the bones—which he had, of course, done on his own. Like Loki was going to get in there and actually dig up a grave. He had no problem sitting on the gravestone and standing guard, though, while making lewd remarks about a dirty, sweaty Sam.

Sam was understandably a bit hesitant about taking on a case that would require him to interact with the public with Loki at his side. He didn’t really want to run the risk of running into any other hunters, either. Not just because of how might react to him but because he wasn’t sure that Loki wouldn’t somehow give himself away and the last thing he wanted was for word to get out that he was hunting around with another monster. The reaction to that wouldn’t be good. Plus, if word traveled far enough to reach his brother, ‘not good’ would be the mildest description for it. Sam wanted to avoid that at all costs. It was another reason why he’d avoided even calling Bobby. Talking to Bobby was the same as talking to Dean; anything he said would be passed along. And Sam wasn’t ready to hear how Bobby’s opinion of him had changed. No doubt he would be just as unhappy with Sam as Dean was. He knew that Dean would’ve told the older hunter now about Sam calling to tell him that he was Lucifer’s vessel.

Demons were something else he tried to avoid, for even more obvious reasons. It seemed kind of prudent for the vessel of the devil to stay away from demons. Loki snorted the first time that Sam said that. “Gee, kid, you think?” he’d mocked. “Wow! No wonder people call you the smart one, with brains like that. I’m impressed.”

Sam had thrown the TV remote at his head.

He didn’t just spend his time going on random hunts. He researched, too, chasing down any scrap of information that might lead him to a way to stop all of this. He’d meant what he said when he’d told Loki he was going to work on the Lucifer problem. Let Dean and the God Squad handle the rest of this. Sam would focus on Lucifer. If he could just find a way to guarantee that Lucifer wouldn’t be able to use him, he was sure the rest of it could be solved.

Loki wasn’t any real help on that front. Sam made the mistake of asking him _once_. Once the mocking laughter had abated and he’d listened to yet another speech about how futile this all was, he’d resolved never to make that mistake again.

That didn’t stop him from following up any leads his research provided him, though. Those were more important than any hunt. And so long as he didn’t ask Loki directly to help with anything regarding the apocalypse, the trickster was content to continue traveling with him. Sam didn’t question why that seemed like such a good thing.

Following a lead was how they ended up visiting Penn State. Sam had heard rumors of a book there at the Arts and Humanities library that might have some information that could help. Getting in wasn’t hard, even if the books were considered restricted. Charming his way into things had never been a problem. Fifteen minutes after they arrived, he was sitting at a private table with two very old books in front of him, carefully opening up the first one to start his reading. Loki was still with him, surprisingly enough. He didn’t really like what he called ‘boring things’. Research definitely fell into that category for him.

“You do realize I can just snap us out of here with those, right?” Loki offered, dropping down into a chair and kicking his feet up on the table, way too close to the books for Sam’s comfort.

Sam leveled a glare his way. “I’m not stealing from the library.”

“Pfft. You’ve committed worse crimes.”

“I’m not stealing books just because you’re bored, Loki!” Sam hissed at him.

The trickster rolled his eyes and let out a loud, gusty sigh. “This is _boring_. I’m going somewhere fun.” With no more warning than that, he snapped and was gone, his chair dropping back down to all fours now that he was no longer in it. Sam shook his head . Typical. Loki had actually held out a lot longer than he’d thought he would. Putting his companion out of his mind, he turned his attention to the books in front of him in hopes of finding something more than the whole lot of _nothing_ he’d been finding lately.


	3. Chapter 3

_“Listen to me, you bloodsucking freak. Dad always said I'd either have to save you or kill you. Well, I'm giving you fair warning. I'm done trying to save you. You're a monster, Sam -- a vampire. You're not you anymore. And there's no going back.”_

_Dean’s altered voicemail “Lucifer Rising”_

* * *

The two didn’t meet up again until that night when Sam returned to his room. He unlocked the door and opened it only to be greeted with a bouncing dog barking around his feet. Loki was sitting at the small room’s table in a position almost identical to the one he’d left from earlier in the day. His boots were up on the table, crossed at the ankle, and he was kicked back, grinning at Sam. The hunter barely focused on that, though. All his attention was on the small terrier that was still jumping and bouncing all around his feet. He couldn’t help his smile as he dropped down to one knee. “You brought a puppy!” Almost instantly the dog launched up at him and what else could he do but pick him up? His low laughter echoed around the room and his dimples flashed as the dog wiggled in his arms and licked all over his face.

“I think Dog likes you.” Loki said dryly. “Either that, or you smell like bacon. He’s a slut for bacon. And belly rubs. And licorice, oddly enough.”

Amused, Sam looked up from the happy dog. “You named him Dog?”

“For now. I’ve had him for a month and he still hasn’t told me his name yet. Until he does, I’m calling him Dog. It was my last dog’s name, too.”

“Until he…” Sam looked down at the dog in his arms and then back up at Loki. “You can talk to dogs.”

Loki arched an eyebrow at him. “Duh.” Pulling a sucker from his pocket, he unwrapped it and stuck it in his mouth. “So, let me guess, you found a whole lot of zilch in those boring books.”

His good mood evaporated. “Shut up.” He set Dog down carefully, scratching behind his ears briefly before straightening back up. Dog just barked happily and ran over to chase some malicious looking dust bunnies near the bed. Sam made his way over to the other chair at the table and dropped down into it. His back and neck were aching from being bent over the book all day and his head was aching. He’d started the day off with a headache after yet another night filled with crap sleep and it’d only gotten worse as the day went on. He rubbed at his neck and smothered a sigh. “It was all stuff I already knew anyways. No new information.”

A snap had him looking up. He was surprised to find the sound no longer made him twitch; he didn’t automatically assume it was something bad.

There on the table sat a good sized chicken Caesar salad and beside it were a bottle of ibuprofen and a bottle of water. Loki met his gaze with a challenging look. Sam had learned lately that Loki had strange opinions on Sam’s eating habits. The strangest part being that he was concerned with it at all. He kept pushing food on Sam whether or not the hunter was hungry. Sam had also learned that it went easier in the long run if he just ate at least some of what he was given. No matter how little he wanted it. First and foremost, though, he practically fell on the bottle of ibuprofen and quickly down two. Only then did he turn his attention to the food.

“I’ve been thinking…” Sam said slowly, picking up his fork.

“Uh oh.”

He shot Loki a light glare. “Shut up.” He scolded, taking a small bite of his food and chewing thoughtfully. “Not too long ago, we, ah, well Dean and I lost this gun we had. Or, well, Bela stole it from us.”

Loki nodded his understanding. Now that he was sure Sam was eating a little, he was relaxed in his seat, his usual smirk back in place. “The Colt, right?”

“How did you…?” He shook his head and waved it off with his fork. “Never mind. Point is, she wouldn’t have destroyed it. She’d sell it for all she could get. I was thinking maybe I should try and find it.”

“Why? Planning on shooting me, Winchester?” Loki asked. Before Sam could answer, Loki’s smirk melted away and his eyebrows shot up. He dropped his feet down and sat forward, staring intently at Sam’s face.

Uncomfortable, Sam dropped his gaze down, picking at his salad without scooping up any of it. “I wasn’t planning on shooting _you_.”

After a moment, Loki blew out a breath. “Oh. Oh, wow. I thought we were getting past this suicidal streak of yours.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Sam mumbled.

“Sure you don’t.” There was a sharpness to Loki’s tone that Sam hadn’t heard for quite a while. It had him looking up and the look he found there was even worse. Slowly, Sam sat back, instinctively drawing away from the temper written all over Loki’s face. “I hate to break it to you,” the god snarled, in a tone that implied the exact opposite, “but dead is dead, no matter if it’s done by the Colt or not. Luci’d still bring you right back. It’s made to kill demons, and, part-demon though you may be, you’re not enough for that thing to fully take out. It’s the same as a regular ol’ gun for you.”

The bottom dropped out of Sam’s stomach and his shoulders wanted to slump even as he flinched from the acidity of Loki’s words. He also found himself wanting to turn away from the fury Loki was projecting. Obviously he’d pissed the trickster off, though why, he didn’t know. Loki already knew how far Sam was willing to go to stop this. Why was he acting like this was such a surprise? He’d cleaned up Sam’s efforts from the last time. Curling his hands into fists, Sam dropped his gaze down to his food once more, glaring at the salad like it was the one that had offended him. “You can’t know that.”

“You have no idea the things I know. I’m telling you—It. Wouldn’t. Work. And before you go getting any bright ideas, it won’t work on your creepy stalker, either.”

“Oh, good to know. I won’t bother trying to shoot you, then.” Sam snarked.

“Nice, Gigantor. Real funny.” Loki shot back. “But I’m not playing. There are five things that gun can’t kill, and one of those just happens to be…you guessed it! _Archangels_.”

It said a lot about how far the two had come with one another in that he didn’t even question whether or not Loki was lying. The thought didn’t even occur to him. Sam fought not to show his disappointment. _Dammit_! He didn’t mention that using it against Lucifer had been only an afterthought. Not even to himself did Sam want to admit that he’d only thought of killing Lucifer with it once Loki had mentioned it. He’d been trying to figure out for a while now various ways to take himself off the playing board, either rending him useless to the devil or taking him away completely, that he’d almost forgotten to try and think of ways to just simply stop Lucifer.

Across the table, Loki gave a furious hiss. “You’re a stubborn, selfish son of a bitch. An comin’ from me, that’s saying a lot.” He glared hotly at Sam and then clicked his fingers. This time, Sam _did_ flinch, but nothing happened to him. Loki and Dog vanished.

The anger faded from Sam and he slumped down in his seat. Well, that hadn’t gone at all how he’d expected it to. He hadn’t thought that Loki would get that mad. Why on earth would he? Sam was willing to do whatever it took to stop Lucifer. He’d already proved that once. Why did it surprise Loki _now_? It wasn’t that he was suicidal; not exactly. He wasn’t trying to kill himself just to escape. This was all to stop Lucifer! Loki should understand that. Hell, he should _want_ that!

The whole thing had been strange. Sam didn’t get it. Really, that wasn’t anything new. He didn’t understand anything with Loki. Why the trickster had joined up with him, why he was following him around, why he was always trying to feed him. None of it made any sense. This conversation was just one more confusing thing on top of a list of other confusing things. Why was Loki making any of this his business? Why was he getting so upset about it? And why had a pagan god of mischief who really shouldn’t have much to do with a Christian apocalypse referred to Lucifer as ‘Luci’?

* * *

The night was a long one. What little sleep Sam did manage to get wasn’t populated by Lucifer for once, but it was haunted by nightmares. Sometimes he thought he’d much prefer the constant rambling that Lucifer did over the horrors he found inside of his nightmares. It just sort of went to show that there was nothing that could effectively torture someone more than their own mind. By the time he finally gave up on sleep and dragged himself up out of bed, he felt like he’d been hit by a truck, and his shower barely took the edge off. What he needed was coffee and lots of it. Well, really, what he needed was a good night’s sleep. That would do wonders. But he’d settle for some really strong coffee.

He stumbled back out of the bathroom with a just a towel around his waist. He wasn’t expecting the wolf whistle that sounded. Gripping tight to the knot of his towel, his head snapped up and he found Loki lounging on his bed, legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles, hands folded behind his head. He was watching Sam without any shame whatsoever. “Well hey there, big boy. If I’d known this was the show I’d get, I would’ve visited you in the morning sooner.”

Sam had only come out like this because Loki hadn’t once showed up in his room in the morning and because he’d been pretty sure the trickster was still pissed off at him. He said as much. “I thought you were pissed at me.”

“Oh, I was. Still am, a little.” Loki’s grin grew a little wider, a hint more malicious, and Sam shivered from it. “But what lesson are you gonna learn if I just leave you here? And you know me, Sammy. I’m all about teaching lessons.”

Yeah, that wasn’t just freaking chilling. Sam suppressed a shiver and strolled over to his bag, making a point not to turn his back on the creature that could kill easily kill him if he got pissed off enough. “That’s not very comforting.”

“It wasn’t meant to be.”

Years of living with someone else in the room, and possessing a modesty that had always fueled plenty of the Princess Samantha jokes, Sam was well practiced at how to slip his boxers on underneath his towel. He got them into place and then pulled the towel off, ignoring Loki’s disappointed ‘Boo!’ Grabbing his jeans, he pulled those on next, making sure to bend _away_ from the trickster. No need to provoke him. As he pulled out a shirt next, he gave Loki a curious, cautious look. “Should I take this to mean that you’re gonna bite your tongue about what I’m doing? Or should I expect to get a bunch of crap the whole time I’m searching?”

He was only blinded for a moment as he pulled his shirt on over his head. It was long enough, though. When his head popped out the top, he found that Loki was no longer lying on the bed. He was standing just a hairsbreadth in front of Sam. The look he wore couldn’t be called angry or even upset. What it was, however, was intense. Sam let his shirt drop down over his stomach and then simply stood there, unable to move away from eyes that were like molten gold at the moment. Sam hadn’t thought there was any room for the two of them to get closer only to be proved wrong when Loki pressed in that last tiny half inch of space. He didn’t seem small in that moment. Despite being shorter, he gave the impression of towering over Sam, his presence filling the room. Sam’s breath shuddered in his chest as he was abruptly reminded of just how powerful the being in front of him was.

Loki’s lips curved up into a smirk that was all deadly mischievousness and did nothing to settle Sam’s nerves. “What it _means_ , Sam Winchester, is that until the day you say yes, you’re _mine_.” He lifted a hand and tapped one finger against Sam’s heart, leaving it there with just the slightest pressure. “I don’t take a liking to many humans, but you intrigue me. That means that I’m only walking away when _I’m_ good and ready. And no one, not even you, is going to get in the way of that.”

“I don’t belong to anyone.” The words lacked the conviction that he’d wanted them to have.

Chuckling, Loki lifted his hand and patted Sam’s cheek. “You just keep telling yourself that, gorgeous.”

And just like that, the tension was gone, the dangerous trickster replaced with the familiar playful smirk that Loki had taken to wearing these past weeks around him. The one that was just a bit less dangerous, a bit friendlier, than his usual one. “Now, why don’t you go on and pack up your things, hm?” Turning, he strolled back over to the bed, dropping down onto it with a little bounce. He folded his hands behind his head and grinned. “If you want to get your gun back, we should probably get going. I doubt it’ll be in the same place for too much longer. And I’m assuming you want to go in that clunker you’ve got parked out front. It’ll be about a sixteen hour drive.”

There was a moment where Sam felt like his brain literally stalled. He wasn’t sure which part of things to focus on first. The part where apparently he’d just become the favorite plaything of a Trickster, one who it would seem was set on protecting him from others and from himself—though not from Lucifer, which was disturbing and understandable all at the same time—or the fact that Loki seemed to know the location of the Colt.

“One of those isn’t up for debate.” Loki called out helpfully. “I suggest focusing on the other. You’ve got a lot of driving to do today. No point in wasting daylight.” Dog gave a bark of agreement and hopped up onto the bed, laying down and resting his head on Loki’s stomach.

When had this become his life? Sam shook his head as he started to gather his things. “We’re not done talking about this, Loki.”

“Oh, good. I like my boys with a little fight in em.”

There was nothing that Sam could say to that that wouldn’t encourage him even more. So, cheeks slightly red, he went to gather his things from the bathroom, determinedly ignoring the chuckles coming from the bed.

* * *

Dammit, this was getting ridiculous. Dean Winchester leaned back against the side of his car and glared up at the stars as. He tried not to break the phone in his hand as he listened to Bobby tell him, yet again, that he hadn’t gotten word from Sam. It’d been a month now that since the kid had up and vanished on him. A month since that late night phone call, a month since he’d told his brother to go his own way. A month since Zachariah had showed him what the world would be like when Sammy said yes. Not if, when.

Dean still had nightmares about what he’d seen. He didn’t think he’d ever get rid of that image of Lucifer wearing Sam, looking out at him with those damned puppy dog eyes, or the sight of Sam’s foot as it pushed down and snapped his future self’s neck.

Zachariah had showed Dean in an effort to convince him that he needed to say yes and save the planet. All it’d done was convince him that he might’ve been just a bit too harsh in separating from his brother.

Maybe they were better apart, maybe they were each other’s weaknesses, but being together? It kept them human. It kept _Sammy_ human.

Only, when Dean had tried to get a hold of Sam, he got nothing. No answer, not even any ringing, just straight to voicemail. The other numbers that he knew for his brother weren’t working, either. He’d even tried looking up any of the countless aliases he knew Sam went by, hoping to track him that way like he had when he’d first got back from Hell, but none of those worked either. Sam had dropped off the map. No phone calls, no form of contact, nothing. He hadn’t even called Bobby or Ellen! Dean knew, he’d been checking with them. And thanks to the markings on his ribs, there was no way for Castiel to find him, either, which was just freaking great.

The only consolation he could take was that Lucifer didn’t already have him. If he did, Dean would know. The whole world would know.

But how the hell was he supposed to keep that from happening if he couldn’t find the little shit?

Sighing, he rubbed at his face. “He can’t have vanished completely, Bobby. The kid’s good but he’s not that good. Someone’s gotta have seen him somewhere.”

“I don’t know, Dean. Maybe he’s just laying low.” Unspoken in Bobby’s voice was the reprimand that this wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t shoved his brother away to begin with.

_That_ was an argument Dean didn’t want to get into again. He’d already gotten his ass chewed from Bobby once for separating from Sam. It was almost as bad as the one that Ellen had given him. Apparently everyone had just forgotten that Dean had every damn right to want a bit of a break from his demon-blood addicted brother. It wasn’t like he’d planned on cutting him out permanently! But come on, a guy was allowed to want a bit of space after finding out what that his brother had been drinking down that little demon bitch’s blood and ended up starting the freaking apocalypse because of it!

“There’s a rumor,” Bobby said, drawing Dean’s attention back to the phone with a sudden swell of hope. “I aint sure it’s much. Might not really amount to anything. But a hunter I know swears he saw someone that looked a hell of a lot like Sam in Pennsylvania. He wasn’t too sure, though.”

“Not sure? How could he be not sure? There aren’t that many giants out there with that girly hair.” Dean pointed out.

“Well, cause no one’s real used to seeing you two apart, and if this was Sam, he was with someone that definitely wasn’t you.”

Sam…with someone? Who the hell would he be with?

Asking just that earned him an annoyed growl from Bobby. “Hell if I know, boy. They said it was a short fella, blondish brown hair. Didn’t sound like someone I know, but I don’t know all Sam’s friends. Thought maybe you might.”

Dean furrowed his brow, thinking, and shook his head. “No. No one I know. This life doesn’t exactly make it easy to make friends, Bobby. You know that.”

“Yeah, well, like I said, it’s just a rumor. Might not have been your brother at all.”

Still, when Dean hung up the phone, he couldn’t get rid of the uneasy feeling in his stomach. Who would Sam be hanging out with? One thought came to him and it made him a little sick. Sam wouldn’t be stupid enough to hook up with another demon, would he? Not after all… _this_. No. He couldn’t be that stupid.

Then again, he hadn’t thought he’d be stupid enough to do it before, either, and look where that had gotten him.

Dean grit his teeth and fought back the urge to slam his fist into his baby. Instead, he yanked open the door. Castiel was off doing some angelic thing or another, hunting around for God. In the meantime, it looked like Dean was making a trip to Pennsylvania.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much for the "Friday" updates, right? Three chapters, three days :P I've got up to chapter six done and it looks right now like there will be about fourteen. I have the rest outlined and half written, it's just filling in the blanks, so there shouldn't be anything to slow me down *fingers crossed*
> 
> I'm glad you guys are enjoying this! I hope you continue to do so! Thanks for your kudos and reviews, they're wonderful :)


	4. Chapter 4

_“You can go with her if you want. I can't stop you. No one can. But if you do... millions of people will die.”_

_“She said I was half-demon. Is that true?”_

_“Yes. But you're half-human, too. You can do the right thing. You've got choices, Jesse. But if you make the wrong ones, it'll haunt you for the rest of your life.”_

_“Why are you telling me this?!”_

_“Because I have to believe someone can make the right choice, even if I couldn't.”_

_Sam and Jesse “I Believe the Children Are Our Future”_

* * *

A low hiss slid from Sam as he dropped down onto the edge of the bed. The material of his shirt tugged against the now dried blood in a way that told him it was going to be a bitch to get it detached. He was probably going to have to wear his shirt into the shower to soak it enough to get it to let go. Or, at least, that was the plan. Right up until Loki dropped down onto the bed next to him and started to tug at the sleeve.”Ow!” Sam snapped, trying to tug back. He glared down at the shorter man. “Loki!”

“Oh, quit being such a baby. You’re the one who didn’t bother telling me you were hurt.” Loki gave up on tugging and just snapped, vanishing his shirt completely.

Sam scowled as his companion poked at the gash along his bicep. “I don’t need you poking at it. It’s just a cut. Besides, we were a bit busy at the time.”

The two had gone to the location where Loki had promised that the Colt and the one holding it would be hiding. He’d failed to mention that it was Crowley of all damn demons who would have the gun. He also hadn’t mentioned the amount of demon guards that were hanging around the place. The place had been warded, too, which meant that Sam had needed to go in and break the wards enough for Loki to enter. He’d resisted the urge to really question what kind of wards might hold Loki back from entering. But he’d mentally stored away the symbols in his mind that Loki had told him to put on the inside of the wall. Apparently, they were capable of nullifying the other wards that were up. Sam resolved to try and research them later.

While he’d been in painting on the symbols like he was supposed to, he’d been found by the demons guarding the place. It was during that time that he’d gotten the cut on his arm and a new collection of bruises. He’d taken out three before getting enough space to finish the last of the symbols. Once Loki was free to enter, that had dramatically evened the odds.

Meeting with Crowley after that had been interesting, to say the least. The demon hadn’t been expecting them. He definitely hadn’t been expecting Sam and Loki together. It was obvious that the smarmy bastard had been completely terrified by Loki’s presence, too. The look of fear on his face when Loki had smiled so brightly while asking for the Colt was something that Sam was going to remember for a very long time. Even now, thinking on it made him smirk.

Another snap broke into Sam’s thoughts and he looked down to find his arm neatly bandaged. He gave an amused huff and looked up at his companion. “Lazy.”

Loki flashed him a grin.

Sometimes there were moments like this where Sam was still struck by the strangeness of all this. Not just his traveling with Loki, though that was immensely strange, but by everything else, too. This teasing, playful thing between them that, at one point in time, he wouldn’t have dared to do for fear of ending up pranked in some horrible and probably deadly way. Their random hunts together, which shouldn’t work so well and yet did. Their ability to work together in situations like the one they’d been in earlier. Sam didn’t trust many people aside from Dean to have his back out on a hunt. The list of people he did trust took only one hand to do. Yet somehow, over the past month, that list had expanded to include one extra name—a name that really, probably shouldn’t be on there at all. Sam had proven time and time again that his opinions on who to trust were pretty messed up. Really, the fact that he thought he could trust Loki at all should’ve been his first sign _not to_.

“Oh that’s nice.” Loki said. He scrunched up his nose and stuck his tongue out at Sam.

Having Loki pluck thoughts out of his head was getting far too commonplace. Sam’s, “Stay out of my head” was mostly perfunctory. With one last glance at his arm, he pushed up off the bed, heading over to his bag to grab a clean shirt. “You’ve got to admit, I don’t exactly have the best track record on trusting people.”

“I’m not ‘people’.” Loki pointed out.

Sam cast him a dry look as he grabbed a shirt. “That doesn’t really help.”

“I wasn’t really trying to. But, if it makes you feel better, you can console yourself with the fact that I’m not really giving you much of a choice, and you don’t actually know how to get rid of me. Not that you’d want to. I am pretty awesome.”

A low laugh rumbled in Sam’s chest and his lips tugged up in a smile. It was amazing how often he found himself doing that in Loki’s presence. “Now that doesn’t seem right. I thought you were big on consent.”

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry.” The words were said in a slow, sarcastic drawl. Flopping back on the bed, Loki put a hand over his heart, utterly failing to look even the slightest bit apologetic. “How dare I force you to spend all day with a gorgeous, hilarious companion who keeps you fed, watered, and _alive_! I’m just the worst kind of monster.”

There was no way Sam could hold back his laughter at the dramatic display. He threw his head back and let it out, the sound filling the room. He dropped down into one of the chairs at the table and shook his head again. “You make me sound like a plant. _Fed_ and _watered_?”

Grinning, Loki rolled over until he was lying on his stomach, elbows pressed into the bed and chin resting on his palms. Dog hopped up too from where he’d sniffing around the floor and he stretched out at his master’s side. “We could find you a pretty little pot to sit in.”

“I could go grab another stake.” Sam taunted back.

“Pfft. When are you gonna remember that threat doesn’t scare me?”

“You keep telling me I need to have more fun.”

While Loki mock glared at him, Sam smirked and turned his attention to the table. Reaching out, he scooped up the gun that had been just sitting there. The whole reason that they’d gone on this mission tonight was for this. He held it in his hands and stared down at it with a contemplative look on his face.

“I thought we established you _weren’t_ going to shoot me with that.” Loki piped up.

Sam looked up in surprise, then back down to the gun. “No, I wasn’t…”

“I know.”

Those two words held none of Loki’s earlier teasing. He pushed up off the bed with more grace than one would think he had and he moved over to stand by Sam at the table. When he reached out, his hand covered the gun, and Sam marveled for a moment that such a small hand could pack so much power behind it. Then Loki was curling his hand around the gun and drawing it back. Sam let it go. When he looked up, he found honeyed eyes watching him intently, all traces of humor gone. “I’m taking this, Sam, and I’m going to put it somewhere safe.” The use of Sam’s actual name, not any nicknames, showed just how serious Loki was being right then. “Not because I don’t trust you to keep it safe, but because I don’t trust you to keep _you_ safe. Some part of you still wants to test it and see if this’ll work and I’m not letting that happen.”

Sam didn’t bother denying it. He flushed just a little and dropped his gaze back down to the gun. “Can you blame me? I’ve been at this a little over a month now, Loki, and I’m no closer to finding anything to stop Lucifer. Can you really blame me for wanting to test all my options?”

“Yes. I meant what I said, Sam. I’m keeping you alive, whether you like it or not.”

“Why?” Sam looked up, not at all surprised to find Loki crowding up against him. With Sam sitting in the chair, it allowed Loki a few inches over him, but somehow the god seemed to tower over him. Sam tipped his chin up to look up at him, his expression open and honest. “Why does it matter? If you’re so convinced I’m going to say yes eventually anyways, why does it matter if I try to kill myself now? Either way, I’ll be dead. At least one way, no one else is going to have to pay for my mistakes.”

“There’s so much I could say to that. But are you forgetting the part where it _won’t work_?” A finger snap had the Colt vanishing.

That statement very conveniently didn’t answer Sam’s questions whatsoever. Not that he expected anything else. So far, Loki had neatly managed to avoid actually explaining why it was he was here or why he was doing all of this. If pressed, he’d just repeat how Sam was his ‘favorite’, or how he was interesting. And Sam didn’t even want to touch back on their last conversation of _belonging_ to him. None of those explained why someone like Loki would waste time on someone like _him._ The freak, the abomination. The one who somehow managed to break pretty much everything he touched. Hanging out with him was something that should be avoided, not sought out.

He heard a low growl that warned him that Loki was listening in again and that he wasn’t liking what he was hearing. Why, Sam didn’t understand. It wasn’t like he was thinking anything that wasn’t true. Pushing those thoughts away for the sake of avoiding that argument, Sam’s shoulders slumped a little and he bowed his head, looking down at his lap. There really was no point in arguing with Loki at all. Not about something like this. “Never mind, Loki, it’s fine. I’m just tired, that’s all. I just need a good night’s sleep and I’ll be all right.”

He was surprised by the hand that reached out and brushed some of his hair back from his face in a gesture that was oddly tender. “When was the last time you actually got a good night’s sleep, Samoose? The bags under your eyes have bags.”

Sam shrugged. “It’s hard to sleep between the nightmares and having someone yammer away at you.”

The hand in his hair froze. Then it clenched down and Sam let out a startled yelp as he found his head yanked back. He didn’t get a chance to protest. Loki bent down, his face right in front of Sam’s, and his eyes were blazing. “Lucifer’s stalking your dreams?”

What the hell was going on here? “Yes…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

The intensity of Loki’s gaze held him in place just as much as the hand in his hair. Sam barely dared breathe. This became less about worrying over Lucifer and more about calming down the pissed off god in front of him. “Because I figured you already knew. I mean, it’s Lucifer. I just figure at least he’s not as bad as he could be. So long as I don’t push him, he stays pretty reasonable.”

“Reasonable?” Loki said skeptically, like he couldn’t quite believe what he was saying. “Lucifer?”

“Yeah. Most of the time, we just—talk.” He could see that Loki still wasn’t quite believing him and so he expanded, trying to put into words the oddness of his dreams. They were nothing like what Sam had expected from Lucifer. There was no endless torture, no hours of pain, no serious taunting. Just a rock steady belief in what he was doing and the rightness of it and an ancient sadness that was far too compelling. “He tells me stories about him and his brothers, about how things were back before everything went wrong. I think he kind of wants me to see myself in him, see where we’re similar. It’s not all bad.” Pausing, Sam smiled, soft and sort of sad, because he knew from experience that those good moments add up just as much as the bad, can become just as painful, and he could easily remember the bittersweet way that Lucifer had looked as he’d told those stories. “He talks about the good things, too, even if they’re sadder sometimes than the bad ones. He’s told me about long talks with Michael over ‘big brother’ things and how special it made him feel. Or intellectual debates with Raphael that always made him _think_. Or joking and playing with Gabriel while he taught him to fly. He’s so angry, sometimes, but I think his love is just as big, and it hurts just as much.”

Loki looked like he was made of stone. His whole body was frozen. He didn’t blink, didn’t _breathe_. Then, without even a snap, he was gone, and Sam slumped down into his chair like a puppet whose strings had been cut. He hadn’t even realized how thick and heavy the air had felt until suddenly the sensation was gone.

Looking over, he saw Dog still lying on the bed, watching him. “Well.” He said slowly, running a hand through his hair and rubbing absently at the sore spot there. “That was weird.”

Dog barked his agreement.

* * *

Sam didn’t see Loki for two whole days after that. He didn’t even come back to take Dog. A dish appeared, though, that was seemingly spelled to constantly refill itself with food. Sam found it when he woke up the morning after Loki vanished. The whole scene kept playing over and over in Sam’s head while he waited for his companion to return. What was it that had set Loki off about it so bad? He had to have known that Lucifer would stalk Sam somehow. Sam was his true vessel. He wasn’t going to just ignore him and hope for the best. It made sense that he’d find him somehow. Since he could find him during the day, thanks to the markings on his ribs, of course he’d find him in his dreams. Sam hadn’t been at all surprised by it. So why was Loki?

The more he thought about it all, the more questions he ended up with. He replayed it over and over in his mind. Loki had freaked out originally when he found out that Lucifer was in Sam’s dreams, but it was when he found out what the devil was saying that he’d just sort of shut down on him. Froze completely before vanishing without a word or a snap. Why would it bother him to hear that Lucifer told stories? They were just stories.

Maybe he was afraid that Sam might relate to them too much. That he might do exactly what the devil was hoping for and see himself in those stories, empathize with him. Maybe Loki was afraid that was how Lucifer would start to worm his way in. It was a valid fear. Sam hadn’t exactly ever shown great restraint. He was weak and everyone knew it.

He’d learned over the last month with Loki that, though the trickster was very vocal about the fact that Sam was going to say yes eventually, he didn’t seem to like it. Maybe he’d gotten so upset because he felt that this was actually a push in that direction.

He was a confusing being, saying one thing and feeling another, and it made him hard to understand and hard to predict his actions. But Sam was leaning some things. One of which was that he tended to run when something scared or upset him. Those moments when Loki ran, those were the ones that would eventually teach Sam something about the trickster.

* * *

The two days that Loki was gone were filled with research. Researching Lucifer, the apocalypse. Searching for signs and omens that might clue him in as to what was going on in the world. There were a few moments where Sam stared at his phone and debated making a few phone calls. Something to check in here and there, just to make sure that those he cared for were still alive and well. Fear of their reactions held him back. He didn’t think he could handle it if they shunned him.

The only positive thing that he found out of those days was that he slept—dreamlessly.

He was in the middle of looking into a case—anything, just to keep his brain busy, because his other research was getting him nowhere—when a familiar voice spoke up behind him. “You are fully incapable of taking care of yourself at all, aren’t you?”

Sam spun around in his chair and found Loki leaning against the wall. The trickster was glaring at him, but it didn’t carry any serious heat to it. This was a more familiar glare. One he wore when exasperated with Sam. It was a look Sam had seen plenty of times on Dean’s face throughout his life. Seeing it took away some of the tension that sat in Sam’s shoulders. Until just now, he hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed his traveling companion. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Letting out a sigh, Loki shoved off the wall and strolled over to him. He dropped down into the chair opposite Sam and snapped his fingers. A taco salad appeared in a big bowl on the keyboard of Sam’s laptop and the empty coffee cup vanished. Loki arched an eyebrow at him. “Uh huh. I’m sure. So you’re saying you _haven’t_ holed yourself up in here, living off coffee and stupidity?” He smirked down at Dog, who was standing against his leg now. Reaching out, he ruffled the dog’s head.

“I’ve been researching.” Sam argued, but he didn’t linger on it, because he knew he wouldn’t win in the end. “Look, I think I found a case. It’s, well, it’s strange. Your kind of humor, actually.” Lifting the bowl off the laptop, he turned it towards his friend.

He settled in to eat the food while he watched Loki read through what he had up on the screen. There were more than a few stories there and he had a feeling Loki was going to be slightly amused by a few of them. Bad though they were, they were right up his alley. His kind of humor, as Sam had said. A girl who had literally scratched her brains out, someone who had been electrocuted by a joy buzzer, a bunch of kids who got stomach ulcers from mixing pop rocks and Coke, and people whose faces had ‘froze that way’. The hunter had expected at least a chuckle out of Loki over it. What he hadn’t expected was the sudden cursing. His hand froze with the fork halfway to his mouth and he was suddenly watching Loki much more carefully. “What? Do you know what this is?”

“I’m not sure.” Loki said, eyes scanning the screen. “But if I’m right… it’s not good, Sammy boy. Like, _really_ not good.” His eyes flashed briefly up to Sam. “How is it you always manage to stumble into the worst crap? I leave you for two days and you go and find something like _this_.”

“What do you think it is?”

“I’ll know more once we get closer.”

For the first time since they’d started to travel together, Loki snapped his fingers and Sam found himself transported from one motel room to another. Not just him. Him, Loki, Dog, their stuff, and…yep. He could see the car through the window of this new room. Loki had brought all of them. Holy shit. It wasn’t the first time that Sam had traveled via snap but it _was_ the first time Loki had just taken them and their stuff from one location to another like this. For some strange reason, he hadn’t seemed to mind traveling all over in Sam’s car, despite the complaints he voiced now and again when he got bored. He’d always just let Sam drive them places. For him to just snap them away like this—it wasn’t the sign of anything good, that was for sure.

Sam set his bowl down on the new table and fixed Loki with a heavy look. The trickster was standing now, his eyes closed like he was concentrating. “Where the hell are we, Loki?”

“Alliance, Nebraska.” Loki told him absently.

Alliance. Of course. That was where all these cases were located. He should’ve figured that out sooner.

“We need to look around.” Loki said. He opened his eyes and turned back to Sam and he looked way too serious for Sam’s comfort. “This could be very, very bad, Sammy.”

“Well if you’d waited a second instead of just snapping us out of there, I could’ve told you that I’ve already got a pretty good lead.”

Surprise lit Loki’s face. “What? Seriously?”

Sam drew his laptop back over and changed the screens around until he finally had the one he wanted. He pulled up the map on their and then turned the laptop just enough that Loki, who had come over to lean over Sam’s shoulder, could see. “I mapped out the location of everything weird that’s been happening around town. I combed through police reports, newspaper articles, all of it, and if it showed any sign of ‘weird’, I put it on here. If you look at it like this, it’s all contained within a two mile radius. And at the center…”

He placed his hand on Sam’s shoulder, bracing as he leaned in to look where Sam’s finger was pointing. “A house.”

“Yep. Four acres of farmland and one house. A family lives there, the Turners, parents to one eleven year old boy by the name of Jesse.”

A grin stretched Loki’s face and he clapped Sam’s shoulder. “I knew there was a reason they call you the smart one.”

The trickster pulled back and Sam turned around to face him. There was still worry hidden in the trickster’s eyes; Sam didn’t question how he’d learned to recognize it. It was just one of the many things he’d learned lately. Seeing it had his own worry growing. “What is it you think we’re after here, Loki?” When he saw the hesitation on his companion’s face, he held up a finger in warning. “Don’t tell me you’re not sure. You’ve got a pretty good idea already, I can see it, and it’s freaking you out, which means I’m freaking out. If I’m going into this with you, I should at least know what I might be going up against here.”

“You’re a stubborn bastard, you know that?”

“You’re just now figuring that out?”

Loki huffed out a reluctant laugh. “No.”

“What is it, Loki? What are we hunting here?”

There was a moment where Loki hesitated and Sam wasn’t sure if he was going to get his answer or not. Then the smaller man sighed noisily and his customary mocking look slid into place. “No point in hiding it, I guess. I’m pretty sure I’m right and you’d only flip later if I didn’t warn you. There’s a pretty good chance that in that house we’re gonna find a cambion. You’d probably know him as the antichrist.”

The…wait, the _what_? Out of all the possibilities that Sam had come up with, that definitely hadn’t been one of them.

“They’re not what you think they are.” Loki continued before Sam could find his voice to speak again. “The bible doesn’t tell it quite right. An antichrist is just demon spawn. An I’m not talking a bit, like you, bud. I’m talking, born of a virgin possessed by a demon, a human/demon hybrid that’s pretty damn dangerous. This, all this stuff, that’s the cambion, distorting reality without even trying. And judging by the type of things happening, it’s a pretty safe bet that the kid, Jesse, is the one we’re looking at.”

“Jesse? But he’s just…he’s just a kid!” Sam exclaimed. “How could he do all this?”

“It’s not controlled. With the devil running free, the kid’s powers are stronger. He probably doesn’t even know what’s going on, Sammich.”

Sam closed his eyes and tried not to grimace. Of course. _Just another thing on the list of trouble I’ve caused_. It was a good thing he’d found this case, then. It was only fair he had to clean up his own mess. “What do we do? If it really is this kid…we can’t kill a kid, Loki. There’s got to be some way we can contain him.”

There was a moment of hesitation. “You can’t save everyone.”

“I won’t kill children.” Sam snapped. His eyes shot open and he glared up at Loki, pushing up to his feet.

Something passed over Loki’s face that moved too quickly for Sam to be able to read. Crossing his arms, he looked up at Sam, thoroughly unintimidated by his glare. “Than what do you suggest we do? We can’t leave him here. Heaven and Hell are going to be gunning for him. He won’t be safe here. And traveling with us won’t exactly make him safe, either. That’d put him on their radar even more and the last thing we want is for them to catch him. Hell will want to use him as a weapon and Heaven will want to take him out before he can be used.”

“There’s got to be something we can do for him!” There was no way that Sam could just let this kid be taken or killed off. He just couldn’t. Sam knew what it was like to be groomed to be a weapon of hell and he could only imagine how much worse it would be for a kid who had so much power. If there was anything he could do, anything at all, to keep that from happening, he was going to do it. He wasn’t going to let someone else’s life be completely destroyed at the whims of other people. He wouldn’t let this kid become just another part of their war. It was too late for Sam—there was no going back from what had been done to him and what he’d done. But it wasn’t too late for Jesse. He still had a chance. He was still a kid. Given the right information, he might make the right choices. Sam hadn’t, but maybe this boy could.

Loki’s expression changed a little and Sam thought he saw just a hint of sadness in his eyes, telling him that his companion had been listening to his thoughts just as much as his words. Sam really didn’t care. If it made him stop and think, it was worth it. Saving Jesse was worth it.

“Ugh.” Letting out a long suffering sigh, Loki pushed some of his hair back and then wiped a hand over his face. In that look, Sam knew he’d won. “Fine.” The trickster said. He shot Sam a look of annoyance before shaking his head. “Fine. Just quit giving me that look. I know someone I can contact who might be able to help us.”

“Are they…human?”

The frown vanished briefly as Loki flashed a smile his way. “Half. Or, three quarters, I’m not quite sure which.” He paused to think about it before shrugging. “She’s a bastard kid of a human who happened to catch the interest of a god. So, she’s got some pretty awesome powers mixed in there, but she lives her life like a human. I met her back years and years ago.”

“Which…?”

“Don’t ask.” Loki cut in. “She doesn’t like people to know and it’s not my business to be telling. But she’s a good kid. A bit of a spitfire, but a good kid. She’s strong enough to hide him and she’ll be able to teach him some things about control, too.”

This time it was Sam’s turn to hesitate briefly. He looked at Loki, thinking, debating. It wasn’t in him to just blindly trust anyone and most especially not a supernatural being. Not after Ruby. Yet as he looked into Loki’s eyes, he couldn’t deny how much he’d come to trust at least this one supernatural being. Maybe it was stupid and maybe he was making one hell of a mistake. He’d been so sure that Ruby was worth trusting too and look how that had turned out. But…Loki hadn’t asked him to do anything at all that might be considered bad. He hadn’t tried to push Sam towards Lucifer or towards anything at all. The only thing he did was follow Sam around, irritate him, play pranks, keep him alive, and force him to stop and eat and sleep occasionally. And somewhere in all of that, Sam had come to trust him, way more than was probably healthy. So, if Loki trusted this woman, than Sam was going to trust her, too. He’d want to see her, of course, and meet her, because this was a kid they were putting into her hands. But, he was willing to trust. He just hoped this wasn’t going to be yet another thing to come back and bite him in the ass.

“Okay.” Sam said softly, nodding at him. “I want to meet her before we just drop him off or anything. But…okay.”

The smile that earned him warmed him straight down to his toes. “You’re way too good, kiddo. Even after all this crap, you’re too damn good.” With that, Loki spun away from him and marched towards the door. “C’mon then, Hero. If we’re gonna do your good deed of the day, you might wanna hurry, cause we aren’t the only ones here in town. So unless you wanna run into your brother and his Heavenly stalker, I suggest you get that perky ass in gear.”


	5. Chapter 5

 

Sometimes Sam wished that Loki could be wrong, even just once. It was kind of discouraging to have him always proved right. Late at night, when dreams of Lucifer or nightmares woke him and he lay in bed questioning himself and what he was doing, he worried that Loki was going to prove right about him, too. That he was going to end up saying yes. In those dark hours, the thought scared him.

Right now, however, he would’ve settled for Loki being wrong simply so he wouldn’t have to deal with this situation.

They’d showed up at the Turner’s house and they weren’t even out of the car when he looked over at Loki and the trickster gave him a sad smile and a small nod. That was all he needed to let do to let Sam know that they were right. Loki’s guesses had been right. “On the plus side, no one else has found him yet.” Loki told him. “His parents aren’t home, either. It’ll give us plenty of time to talk.”

“Great.” Sam said lowly. His hands clenched down on the wheel and he looked up at the house. “Now we just gotta go in there and figure out how to tell an eleven year old kid that he’s half demon and there are people who are coming to capture or kill him.”

“I’d suggest something a mite less blunt.” Loki quipped. “You humans are weird about things like that.”

The look Sam gave him clearly said he wasn’t in the mood for his games.

It was hard to make himself get out of that car and start up towards the front porch. Sam doubted he would’ve been able to do it if it hadn’t been for Loki at his side. The trickster put a hand in the small of Sam’s back in a touch that he wasn’t sure if it was meant as comfort or to force him to continue going forward. Either way, he leaned into it, drawing what comfort he could. He needed it when the front door finally opened to their knocking and a young boy stood there looking at them suspiciously. “Can I help you?”

“Hey there.” Sam said, trying for that reassuring smile that usually set victims at ease when he interviewed them on the job. Jesse was technically a victim, even if he didn’t know it yet. “Are you Jesse?”

The suspicion on the boy’s face deepened. “Who are you two?”

“I’m Sam, and this is Loki.” Sam introduced them. “Is it all right if we come in and speak with you for a moment?”

The boy looked them over carefully with a shrewdness that was surprising in one his age. His hand never wavered on the door. “I’m not supposed to allow strangers in the house.”

“We just wanna talk.”

“Sorry. Like I said, I’m not supposed to allow strangers inside.”

And with that, Jesse shut the door right in their faces. Sam stood there for a moment, bemused. Well, hell, what were they supposed to do now?

He really shouldn’t have asked that; not even in his head. Loki’s hand drifted up to rest on his shoulder instead of his back and Sam had just enough time to realize what was going on and to brace before there was a snap and they appeared inside of the house. Jesse, who’d been standing at the kitchen sink drinking a cup of water, openly gaped at them. The next thing Sam knew he and Loki both were flying backwards to slam into the wall. Sam, well used to this sensation, didn’t bother struggling. Loki, however, laughed. A second later he and Sam both dropped back down to the ground. Still grinning, Loki took a step forward, hands spread out in a sign of peace. “Neat trick. But we’re not here to hurt you, kiddo. We’re just here to talk.”

“About what?” Jesse demanded. “Who are you guys, and how’d you get in here? How’d you…how’d you do that?”

“What? The appearing? Or the flying-into-the-wall?” Arching one eyebrow, Loki tipped his head to the side, smile growing. “Cause that second one was all you. As for the first one, well, I’m just that awesome.”

From behind him, Sam smothered a snort.

Jesse looked stunned. “I didn’t…” He looked from Loki over to Sam, who was pushing away from the wall to step up and stand at Loki’s side. Then his gaze turned back to the trickster. “Who _are_ you guys?”

“It’s a long story.” Sam said honestly. With one hand, he gestured towards the table. “Why don’t we all sit down and we’ll explain everything.”

* * *

By the time Sam and Loki were done, the kitchen had fallen into a heavy silence. He’d known that telling the boy that he was part demon, born to woman who had been impregnated by the demon possessing her, wasn’t going to be easy. Saying something like that would never be easy. But to actually watch Jesse’s face as he listened, to see the horror grow there, hit him so much harder than he’d thought it would. His heart ached and guilt gnawed at his insides. This wasn’t fair. Dammit, this wasn’t _fair_. Here he was, destroying this poor kid’s life. Jesse looked like he’d just been told the world had ended.

Under the table, Loki’s hand settled on Sam’s thigh, a reassuring weight that kept him grounded and gave him a small sense of comfort and calm. It allowed him to breathe and relax himself until Jesse found his voice once more.

The boy looked up at them and his eyes shone slightly with a fear no kid should have to feel. “I’m…I’m half _demon_?”

“Yes.” Sam answered honestly. He’d told himself he wasn’t going to lie to the boy. He was going to give Jesse what no one had given _him_ —the truth. Young though he may be he had the right to know the truth. But he made sure to stress what was important. “But that you're half human, too.”

“My parents…”

Loki fielded that one. “Adopted you, when you were just a baby.” His tone was surprisingly gentle for the usually snarky trickster. “They’re both purely, completely human. Neither one of them is a demon.”

“But I am? I don’t wanna be evil!” Jesse cried out, and it hurt, oh, it hurt to hear. The kid sounded terrified. The cocky exterior he’d showed before was gone and the kid underneath was showing through. It was that terrified child that broke through Sam’s restraint. He moved around the table, dropping down to squat in front of the kid, and he hated to see the ache there in Jesse’s eyes. Hated to ruin this kid’s childhood like this. He didn’t deserve this. The only crime he’d committed was being born and he couldn’t be blamed for that. “You don’t have to be, Jesse. We’re not here to tell you that you’re evil, or that you’re going to turn evil. Yeah, you’ve got these powers, and yeah, they can be bad. They can be really bad. Trust me, I know.”

 “How?” Jesse demanded, voice breaking slightly. “Are you…are you like me?”

“Not quite. You, you were born this way. It wasn’t your fault.” Sam said slowly, only to be cut off by Loki saying, “You didn’t exactly get a choice either, kiddo. You were only six months old.”

“The first time.” Sam corrected him lowly, without looking away from Jesse. “The rest? That’s on me. I made that choice to get those powers. I did some really stupid things and I made the wrong choices. But, Jesse, you don’t have to be like that. You can do the right thing. You've got choices. But if you make the wrong ones, it'll haunt you for the rest of your life.”

“Why are you telling me this?!” He exclaimed.

Sam smiled sadly up at him. “Because I have to believe someone can make the right choice, even if I couldn't.”

Off to the side, he didn’t see the way Loki looked away, or the pained grimace that flashed briefly over his features.

“But I’m just a kid.” Jesse whispered.

Sam nodded his head. “I know. And I wish it didn’t have to be like this, Jesse, I really do. But wishing these things away never works. It’ll always be there. You're powerful. More powerful than…pretty much anything we've ever seen. That makes you—”

“A freak.”

“To some people, maybe.” Sam admitted, a hint of a smile touching his lips. “But not to us. You saw what Loki could do, and I’ve…I’ve had my share of powers, too. I’m not half demon, but I’ve got demon blood in me. So you see, we’re kinda freaks, too.”

“I’ve got a friend who can teach you how to use your powers safely. How to control them. She could teach the both of you, actually.” Loki said, startling them both. They’d almost forgotten that he was even there. He’d been so uncharacteristically quiet. Jesse didn’t look up, but Sam did. He didn’t get a chance to lodge his protests. Loki read the look on his face and shook his head. “You don’t need demon blood, Sammy. The only reason they got you on that for your powers was because they wanted to corrupt you, put you on their leash, and because it made your powers stronger. But, think about it for a minute. You don’t see Deano chugging down angel blood to get ready for Mikey, do you? An the other special kids, none of them had to do it to open up their powers, did they?” He waited for Sam to shake his head no. “Exactly. Your powers were always there, always a part of you. The blood just made them—stronger. Like steroids. But they’re still there. You just gotta learn how to use them without the extra juice. Kayla could teach you. Hell, _I_ could teach you.”

There were so many things that Sam wanted to say to that. Some of them, though, he cut off before they could get close to his lips. There were instinctive protests that what was in him was dirty or wrong, arguments that he could make against touching anything that the demon blood in him had caused, but with Jesse right there, this poor kid they were trying to convince that he wasn’t evil just because he was half demon, there was no way Sam could say any of those things. Not without it hurting Jesse.

Jesse was the one to break the silence that had fallen over the room. “I can't stay here, can I?”

“No. The demons know where you are, and more will be coming.” Loki said softly. “I can leave protections on your parents here, but if you stay, I can’t protect all of you.”

“They can’t come with me?”

“I’m sorry, kiddo.”

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, the very quiet trio made their way out to the car. For once not even Loki was really talking. He seemed to understand that Jesse needed the quiet. This, it was a big thing he was doing. A huge thing. He was walking away from his home, his family, his everything, to start a life essentially on the run. That wasn’t a choice any eleven year old boy should have to make. With his bag thrown over his shoulder full of clothes and the few things he couldn’t leave behind, he followed them out of the house. He’d left a note on the table with the simple words “I’m sorry” written on it. Loki had done something to it, he told them, so that once they read it, it would do something to them to make it so that they wouldn’t remember having a son at all. Jesse had been surprisingly happy about that. “Good.” He’d said softly when Loki suggested it. “It’s safer for them that way, right?”

There were no real words that either adult could offer there. Sam knew better than to try. He understood just how much it hurt to walk away from people you loved to keep them safe. Putting a hand on Jesse’s back, he shared a sad smile with the boy, and then they left.

It wasn’t until they were almost to the motel that Sam finally spoke up. “We’re almost at the motel.” He told Jesse, glancing up in the rearview mirror at him. “We’re just going to stop off and get our things and then we’ll head out to Kayla’s place.”

Turning in his seat, Loki tossed a grin back at the kid. “You can meet Dog. He’ll love having another human to ply for belly rubs.”

A tiny spark of life showed on the boy’s eyes. “You have a dog?”

Sam snuck a look over at Loki and shared a private smile. _Good work_ , he thought towards his friend, able to tell my Loki’s wink that he’d heard the thought. A dog wouldn’t make up for what was happening for Jesse today but it would help ease him a little. Not many kids could resist a good dog. Especially one as affectionate as Dog was.

“Yep.” Loki said proudly.

“What’s his name?”

“Dog.”

The boy blinked a few times and just stared at Loki for a long minute. A hint of that earlier sass he’d showed came back as he lifted an eyebrow at the trickster. “Wow. You’re real original, aren’t you?”

The sarcasm made Sam laugh. Looking up in the mirror again, he caught Jesse’s gaze and grinned at him. “Oh yeah, you’ll fit right in around here.”

A few minutes later the trio arrived at the motel. Sam climbed out, pocketing the keys, while Jesse and Loki got out of the other side of the car. “It should only take a minute to get my stuff together and grab Dog, so you can just leave your bag here if you want, Jesse.” Sam told him. “We should really get out on the road quickly. How far of a drive is it, Loki?”

They’d just reached the front of the car when suddenly Loki put an arm out in front of Jesse and grabbed for Sam with his other hand. Sam tensed immediately. He didn’t get a chance to ask what was going on or to even really get to wonder. Just seconds after Loki’s fingers closed around his bicep, he heard a voice he hadn’t expected to hear at all, one that froze him in place more effectively than Loki’s grip. “Sammy?”

All it took was hearing that nickname said in that voice and Sam felt like he’d had the rug yanked out from underneath his feet. The only thing that really kept him upright was Loki’s presence right up against his side. Sam didn’t even realize that he’d snaked a hand out and had grabbed part of Loki’s jacket. He leaned in just a little towards the shorter man while turning to look in the direction of the voice he knew better than he did his own. Even preparing himself for it didn’t lessen make it hurt any less when he saw Dean standing just a few doors down, staring at him with a shocked look that was quickly transforming to anger as the older Winchester saw just who Sam was with.

Swallowing down the lump in his throat, Sam forced his voice to work. “Hey, Dean.”

* * *

He couldn’t believe it. Sammy. Sammy! After a little over a month of searching, of trying to find any hint of his brother, after driving to freaking Pennsylvania on a _rumor,_ he walked out of his hotel room in this stupid little town that Cas had brought him to and Sammy was standing right there. The first thing that Dean felt was an overwhelming sense of relief. It showed in his voice when he called out his brother’s name. “Sammy.”

That relief quickly gave way to shock, and then to anger, when he saw who his brother was with.

Son of a bitch. The description Bobby had given him on the phone of the guy that Sam had been seen with suddenly made more sense. Standing there at Sam’s side, holding onto his arm and staring at Dean with that freaking cocky smirk, was the _Trickster_. That smarmy little dick who’d taunted and toyed with them. The one who’d tortured Sammy by putting him through who knew how many Tuesdays of watching his brother die over and over again. That _bastard_ was standing there at Sam’s side like he had every right to be. And instead of pulling away from him, or going for the nearest stake, the idiotic kid was leaning in to him. He was fisting his hand in the bottom of the Trickster’s jacket like he’d used to do to Dean when they were kids and Sam was scared. But what the hell was he scared of?

Sam turned slowly and the cautious look on his face struck Dean like a fist. It was him—Sam was scared of _him_. “Hey, Dean.” His brother croaked.

For a brief second all Dean could think was that his baby brother looked like shit. There were bags under Sam’s eyes like he wasn’t sleeping well and he looked way too thin. Not just in his body, but his face, too. There were signs of more than just a skipped meal or two. “What happened to you?” He blurted out. He took a step forward and, Jesus, Sam actually flinched back from him. Flinched! Hurt arrowed through Dean. It transformed quickly to anger when he realized that Sam had stepped even closer to the Trickster like he wanted that little bastard to protect him, from _Dean_! The older Winchester’s face hardened into a glare. “What the hell are you doing here with that little shit, Sammy? I’ve been trying to call you for weeks, hunting down any signs of your dumb ass, and you’ve been kicking around with the Trickster? The freaking _Trickster_?”

“His name’s Loki.” Sam said, like that mattered or something. Like he really cared at all about the tricky son of a bitch’s name.

“Oh, well, excuse me. I didn’t realize you two were such pals.” Dean snapped.

Beside Sam, Loki smirked. “Oh c’mon, Deano, you gotta admit. The three of us go _way_ back.”

“You shut the hell up.” Dean snarled at him. He wasn’t here for that smarmy little shit. Eyes hard, he glared at his giant of a baby brother, his worry and anger mixing together inside of him and making his tone an even lower growl than before. “What happened to you? You just up and vanished. No one’s heard anything from you. Not Bobby, not Ellen, _no one_.” Something came to him and his gaze turned even sharp as it cut to Loki and back to Sam. “Did he do something? Is he forcing you here, Sammy?”

“I did what you wanted.” Sam said in a soft voice. He ducked his head and his bangs slid down over his face in a move he’d used so many times with people who _weren’t Dean_ when he wanted to hide what he was feeling. That hurt, seeing it now, but not as much as Sam’s next words. “You said we were better apart. To pick a hemisphere. So, I did.” What made it even worse was that Sam didn’t sound sad. His voice was soft but it was resigned. Like he already knew how this whole conversation was going to go and he was just too tired to deal with it. “You were right, Dean. We’re the oil and fire of the apocalypse. You’ve got a better chance without me there with you.”

Part of Dean wanted to relent at that aching tone coming from Sam. It sounded so damn wrong, so defeated. He was supposed to be the one that Sammy ran to when he was in trouble, not who he ran away from. _He did,_ a voice in his head reminded him snidely. _And you sent him packing, remember?_ The guilt of that made his stomach squirm and he looked away from his haggard looking brother. But that only brought his gaze to the bastard at Sam’s side and he couldn’t help how it sent his temper up again. “And how’d you end up with _him_? Another supernatural creature, Sammy, seriously? Didn’t you learn with the last one?” There was a hint of movement and a face peeked out from around Sam’s other side, startling Dean. It only took him a second to place the face. That was the same face he’d been looking at on the computer earlier. The face of the boy that Castiel was, right now, supposed to be going to find. And he was here. With Sam. “Are you kidding me? Is that the kid?” Dean asked, really paying attention to him for the first time. He looked at the boy’s face and then back at Sam’s. “Do you even realize what’s going on here? What you’re dealing with?”

Something hard cross Sam’s face. He shifted just the slightest bit, but it was enough to block the boy behind him. “I know exactly who he is.” Sam said slowly. Then, like it pained him. “He’s just a kid, Dean. An innocent kid. I know what he is and I know how Dad raised us to view things, but even you have to see that this would be wrong. Hurting him would be wrong.”

“I guess monsters gotta stick together, right?”

The words were out before Dean could stop them. Sam snapped back from that like the words had slapped him in the face. Regret hit Dean almost instantly; he hadn’t meant to say something like that. Angry as he was with his brother, he hadn’t meant to hurt him like that, and he hadn’t meant to say anything to hurt the kid who was staring behind him with wide, hurt eyes. He didn’t get a chance to correct himself, though. Loki’s eyes flashed hot and hard and he moved forward a step in a move that clearly put him between Dean and the others. Without turning around to look at Sam, the trickster let go of him and patted his arm. “Sam, take Jesse inside and gather up our stuff. We’re leaving.”

“Loki.” Sam murmured.

“Go.” Still staring at Dean, Loki’s lips curved up in a grin that was chilling, though his tone stayed firm yet gentle as he spoke to Sam. “Big brother and I are just gonna have a little chat. We’ll all still be in one piece when you get back out, I promise.”

Dean wasn’t sure which part stunned him more. The fact that Loki was standing there giving orders, or the fact that his brother _listened._ Sam gave Dean one last look and then he was ushering Jesse over one of the room doors. A second later the two were inside. Loki waited until the door clicked shut before he spoke again. When he did, his voice was nothing like it had been before. It wasn’t gentle or kind or even mocking. It was hard and deadly and Dean found himself wanting to take a step back. “Let me make one thing very clear to you, you arrogant little dick. What’s between you and Sammy is between the two of you, and I may not like it, but I can’t stop brothers from fighting. But you run your mouth off like that again in front of that little boy in there and I promise you, you’ll wish it was only an alien abduction I put you through. You get me?”

Dean tried not to squirm, refusing to admit that Loki’s words had hit home. He hadn’t wanted to do that. Hell, he’d been fighting Cas on how he wanted to handle this since they first figured things out! That was why Dean had been leaving right when they’d showed up. Cas had gone ahead to find the boy, to stop him, and Dean hadn’t been willing to sit around and let that happen. Only, he’d gotten distracted by finding his baby brother playing pals out here with a monster and the very kid that Dean had been about to go try and save. He chose to focus on that instead. Right now, that was the more important thing. “What the hell do you care about any of this? Why are you even with my brother, huh? Is this some kind of game? Some trick to try and get him to say yes to Lucifer?”

“What I’m doing here is between me and your brother.” Loki shot back. “You lost the right to demand anything when you told him to get lost.”

“Hey, I got every damn right. That kid’s proved he can’t be trusted to make the right decisions. You’re just even further proof of that.”

Loki scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Get off your high horse, princess. You’re not any better.”

“Excuse me?” Just what the hell did he mean by that?

“Faced with a world without your brother, you went and made a deal with a demon for your own soul. But you wanna stand there and judge your brother cause he bartered off himself in what he was tricked into believing was a way to avenge you and stop the apocalypse?” The sneer Loki wore grew more pronounced. “Oh, yeah, that makes you _so_ much better.”

Who the hell did this asshole think he was? Furious, Dean took a step forward, gesturing hotly towards the room where Sam was. “I didn’t go sucking down bitch blood to do it!”

A sardonic smirk curled the corners of Loki’s mouth. “No, you were so much more _noble_ , selling off your soul so baby bro could live.” He lifted his hands and gave a slow, mocking clap. “Way to go. Never mind the guilt trip that laid on a kid who already takes on the guilt for everything anyways. Forget just how _selfish_ it all was to yank him back into this hellish life and force him to live with the knowledge that his brother is burning in hell just so he can be alive. Cause we all know you were oh-so-grateful when Daddy did it for you.”

“Now just a damn minute!”

Slashing a hand through the air, Loki cut him off. “Lie to yourself all you want, Deano. You can’t lie to me. You made that deal for you. You did it so you wouldn’t have to live without Sammy. You didn’t even stop to think how he’d feel about it. Even though you’d been feeling like shit after your Daddy sold himself for you, giving that ‘what’s dead should stay dead’ crap. Guess it only works when it’s all in your favor, huh?”

His words struck hard and they cut down deep. Dean staggered from them, unable to gather up enough fortitude to formulate any kind of argument. All he could manage was a snarled out “Why the hell do you care so much?”

All humor vanished off of Loki’s face and his expression once more turned deadly in a way that reminded Dean that this guy had killed—a lot. And his favorite victims were people he considered dicks. Right then there was no doubt that he put the older Winchester brother in that category. “Cause I’m the one that’s been putting back together what _you_ broke!” Loki snarled at him. “I’m the one keeping that giant moose from giving up completely!”

“Hey, I aint the only one guilty.” Dean shot back.

“No, you’re not.” Loki admitted easily, surprising him. “The difference is, _I_ actually give enough of a damn to try and fix it. And what I did, I did to try and help even if I did it wrong, and Sam knows it. We’ve worked past that and he’s forgiven me for it. When was the last time you sought forgiveness, Winchester?” With a shake of his head, Loki lifted his hand and snapped, and Dean went to shout as he took a step back only to find that his voice was gone. He glared hotly at the trickster and was met with a glare just as hot. “I’m done listening to your bullshit. You’ll get your voice back in about twenty minutes, once we’re long gone from here. I’m not letting you throw any more shit on him.”

He didn’t get a chance to try and silently argue. The motel room door opened and Sam stepped out, Jesse close to his side. It didn’t escape Dean’s notice that Jesse put himself on the side of Sam furthest from Dean. He snuck a look over at him, then up at Sam, who smiled reassuringly at the boy before clapping a hand on his shoulder. Sam never once looked at Jesse as he led him over to the passenger’s side of the car, opening the door and letting him and a small terrier into the backseat. Still avoiding Dean, he went next and put the bags in his hand in the trunk, and then he came around to the driver’s door. Dean stared at his brother and realized that Sam was going to just getting the car and leave. He was actually going to leave without even looking over his way and that was just so damn wrong. How had they ended up here? How had they ended up like this? It was always them together against the world. Only, now it seemed like he was part of ‘the world’, and an insane trickster had taken his place. Once again, Sammy was leaving him for someone supernatural, another monster. Once again, he was walking away.

Dean, unable to speak, just stood there silently as Loki snapped himself into the car. He didn’t try to go after his brother or even try and stop him when the car started up, or when they pulled out. He just stood there was watched until the car was just a speck in the distance, and he felt something inside of him break just a little.

* * *

They’d been on the road for almost an hour and Jesse was finally passed out in the backseat with Dog curled up against him when Sam’s silence finally broke. He slanted a look over at Loki in the slowly darkening light and found the trickster already watching him. Flushing, he darted his eyes back out to the road. He wanted to say this but he didn’t want the mockery he had a feeling might come with it. Loki was all for being appreciated, Sam had noticed, unless it came to the important stuff. Then, he much preferred to brush it off. But still, Sam had to say something. “I, um, I wanted to say thanks. For, you know, for all that back there. We could sort of hear some of what you guys were saying inside the room. Not all of it, but some.” He darted another quick look Loki’s way and, bolstered by the lack of a sneer or anything else there, continued on. “You know…you didn’t have to do that. Stand up for me like that.”

He saw Loki shrug out of the corner of his eye. “You weren’t gonna do it.”

“He’s my brother.” To Sam, that said it all.

Loki snorted. There was a snap and he looked over to see the trickster unwrapping a sucker and popping it into his mouth. “Sorry, kiddo, but he’s a dick.”

A hint of a smile touched Sam’s lips. Having Loki of all people call someone a dick just seemed amusing to him. It wasn’t exactly like he had all that much room to talk. ‘Dick’ was one of the nicer terms that Sam and Dean had used to describe him over the years. Letting his smile grow, he threw Loki an amused look. “Well, yeah. But so are you and I still like you.”

“Aww, Sammy, you say the sweetest things!”

He huffed out a laugh and shook his head. Already he could feel some of his tension starting to melt away. Fighting with his brother was never pleasant. Most especially because they both tended to just let their mouths run without any real filter on them. That had caused them quite a lot of pain and trouble over the years. Really, he was lucky that Dean had only stuck to yelling and hadn’t actually thrown a punch at him. That was common, too. A lot of their fights over the span of their life had ended in something physical. Sam counted himself lucky that he’d gotten away from this without a single bruise on him. Dean would’ve had every right. Not just because of what was already between them, that was bad enough, but because of who Sam was with. There was no way that Dean was going to accept the idea that Loki wasn’t here to cause harm.

“He thinks I’m playing some big game here.” Loki confirmed, once more reading Sam’s thoughts without any shame whatsoever. He shifted a little in his seat and Sam swore he could actually feel his stare. When Loki spoke again, his voice was that lighthearted tone he used when his question was actually more serious than he wanted to let on. “Is that what you think? You think this is all some elaborate trick, Sam-I-am?”

“I think you’ve been more honest with me than you have with anyone for a long time.” Sam answered honestly.

The sincerity of his response obviously wasn’t what Loki had been expecting. He went quiet for a moment. When Sam looked over, he saw that his companion looked just a bit more relaxed than before, some indescribable tension that had been there before now gone. Loki looked over at him and their eyes met for just a brief second before Sam had to look back out at the road. Still, even that brief contact left him with a warm feeling in his stomach. Loki’s voice was much lighter when he spoke again. “Yeah, well, I told you, you’re my favorite, kiddo. And, hell, I’ve seen you do things I didn’t think were possible.” He paused and his voice changed just a bit, a tone there that Sam didn’t quite recognize. “I guess I figure if anyone can find a way out of this mess, it’d be you. You’ve found your way out of some crazy shit before.”

“I’m not anything special, Loki. Dean...”

Loki cut him off before he could finish that. “He’ll do his own thing, and we’ll do ours.”

“Ours?” Sam couldn’t help the hint of hope that was in his voice.

“Yeah, ours.” Loki huffed. He sighed long and loud. “Your stupidity must be catching.”

“Does that mean…”

“That I’ll help try to stop big and nasty? Yeah. I don’t know _why_ , but yeah.” He slanted a look at Sam and smirked. Reaching out, he ruffled his hair, laughing when Sam swatted him away. “I guess I can’t resist such a sad puppy face.”

“We don’t even have a plan.” Sam felt obligated to point out. He hadn’t been able to figure out any sort of plan yet. Loki knew that already, of course. He’d been with Sam this whole time that Sam had been searching. But the hunter still felt like he had to remind him just what he was getting into here.

“I might have something on that.” Loki said, surprising him. “I’ve got to check a few things, put some feelers out. Let me get back to you on it. For now, we should get to a safe place for the night. Tomorrow, we can head to Kayla’s.”

Sam looked in the mirrors and checked on the sleeping boy in the backseat. Yeah, they needed to find somewhere to hole up for the night. Somewhere that they could pause, think, regroup a little. The whole encounter with Dean had left Sam rattled and he was almost a hairsbreadth from actually asking Loki to just snap them straight to this Kayla’s place. They needed to get Jesse to her and let him get settled in. The last thing Sam needed was to be responsible for the welfare of this kid. He wasn’t capable of taking care of himself! There was no way he should be responsible for taking care of someone else. Especially if that someone else was an impressionable _child._ Everything he touched, everything he got involved in, always went to horribly wrong. He messed up everything he touched and the people around him always had to pay the price for his mistakes.

A flick to the side of the head had him jumping and yanking out of his thoughts. Years of driving with Dean, on the few occasions he was let behind the wheel, allowed him to flinch back and yet keep them on the road. Still, he shot his passenger one hell of a bitchface for it, the one that clearly let him know he was an idiot. “What was that for?”

“If I wanted to listen to that crap, I would’ve stuck around with your brother. Pull your head out of your ass, Samsquatch. Angsting won’t do anything but give you a headache. The kid’s here with us and there’s no turning back. We’ll handle it. You’re not gonna screw this up. In case you forgot, I’m here, and I’m perfectly capable of protecting us all—even from you and your stupidity and endless bad luck. So cut back on the emo hour and focus on what’s important, like getting us somewhere safe. There’s a hotel a few hours down the road that should be far enough away from here for us to be safe. You get us there and I’ll handle the rest.”

Sam wanted to both glare at him and thank him simultaneously. He settled for sighing again and trying to push the tension back out of his shoulders. “All right. Where am I going?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a nice long chapter, everyone, and NOW, we're officially caught up to what I have written, and about halfway through. So updates should start coming every few days instead of every day. :) I really hope you enjoy it, and thanks so much to everyone for your comments so far. They've really helped keep me going! I'm glad to see people out there do enjoy this :)

Where they ended up stopping for the night was a small motel off the highway near Lamar, Colorado. Their goal was to head to somewhere near Amarillo, Texas in the morning. It was dark when they pulled in and Sam was more than ready to crash. He went on autopilot, going in to book them a room with two queens before coming back to the car. A quick look and Sam opted for grabbing Jesse first. The boy was still passed out in his seat. Very carefully, Sam leaned into the backseat and gathered the boy to him, marveling that Jesse didn’t wake up once. He stayed completely out as Sam lifted him up and out of the car.

The keys were neatly nipped out of Sam’s hand and Loki flashed him a smirk. He went ahead of them and opened up the door so that Sam could get the boy inside. For a moment Sam stared at the beds and something inside of him clenched up just a little. Ruthlessly, he shoved it down, burying it deep in that place where he pushed all the things that hurt, and then he strode over to the bed furthest from the door. The blankets were pulled back for him by Loki and Sam easily laid the preteen down. After pulling Jesse’s shoes off and setting them down on the floor, he tucked the blankets up and over him. The minute they were in place, Dog hopped up onto the bed and walked right up to Jesse’s chest, laying down against him. Jesse snuffled a little in his sleep and his arm slipped out to wrap around Dog’s torso. Loki chuckled lightly. “Shameless.”

“Like his master.” Sam teased.

He went to go gather their bags out of the car next. They were only here for the night but he wasn’t going to leave any of their weapons out in the car. With as much as he’d been driving this thing around lately, he thought occasionally about doing something, modifying it somehow, to give him a place to hide weapons like they did in the impala. He hadn’t done it yet because thinking like that felt kind of like he was making this separation permanent. That wasn’t something he’d wanted to even entertain. In the back of his mind he’d been clinging to the hope that maybe eventually, someday, Dean might let him come back. Might _want_ him to come back.

Staring down at the bag in the trunk, Sam scoffed. Yeah, right. If there’d been any hope of Dean ever wanting him to come back it was gone now. Now that he’d seen that Sam had once again hooked up with some supernatural creature. Once again, he’d done something his brother didn’t approve of. And what made it worse—he wasn’t going to stop. Yet again he was going to ignore his brother’s insistence that something was wrong and continue doing what he was doing. There was no way Dean was going to want him back now. _I guess monsters gotta stick together, right?_ Those words echoed inside of Sam’s head and had him closing his eyes tightly, his head bowing low. He curled his fingers into his bag and tried to take a few deep, steadying breaths. It didn’t work. His head echoed with more words, older words. _You’re a monster, Sam – a vampire._ And more, cutting sharp, even older words. _If I didn’t know you, I would want to hunt you._

His eyes shot open and he blew out a shaky breath. Yanking the bags out of the trunk, he slammed the lid a little harder than was needed.

Loki was waiting for him when he got back in the room. The usual protections were already up, Sam saw, even the salt lines. Habit him checking them all anyways. Loki let him make one circuit of the room before he steered him in the direction of the other bed. _Dean’s bed_ , his brain told him, and he almost flinched back from it. But Loki didn’t let him stop. “You need sleep, Sammy.” There was something soft in Loki’s voice that Sam might’ve remarked on if he hadn’t felt so exhausted. He’d kept awake long enough to do the driving but now his body was sagging, the day catching up to him. He didn’t even find it in him to protest as Loki pushed him down onto the bed, or as he snapped and changed Sam from his day clothes to a t-shirt and sweats.

The last thing he remembered after his head hit the pillow was what felt like a hand smoothing his hair back from his face.

Within minutes, he was asleep.

* * *

The breeze felt cool as it brushed against Sam’s skin. He loved the view here. Not even the chill in the air was enough to make him want to turn back. Sitting here on the stone bench, this was the perfect place to sit and think. This was only his second time coming here and he wondered to himself where exactly _here_ was.

“Norway.” Came smoothly from beside him. One long fingered hand rose and pointed off to the left and Sam turned to look that way. “See, over there? That would be what you humans call Trolltunga.”

The corners of Sam’s mouth curved upwards as he looked at the long bit of rock that hung out over open air. “I’ve heard of it. It was formed during the last ice age, when parts of the mountain were frozen by glacial water and then broke off, leaving this strange outcropping. It towers twenty three hundred feet above lake Ringedalsvatnet.”

“You have quite a bit of random knowledge.” Lucifer told him, and there was a slightly curious, slightly teasing edge to his words that had Sam turning to smile at him. “I like to learn.” Sam said with a small shrug. “And I think I’d like to come here one day.”

“We could come here together, you and I.”

Sam shook his head and turned his gaze back out to the view. It really was gorgeous and this was most likely one of the only times he’d get to see it. “If I come here with you, this might not even be here anymore. It won’t be just the humans that’ll be lost in your prizefight.” Maybe it earned him a bit of trouble now and again, but so far Sam hadn’t censored himself in any of their long talks. Why should he? Lucifer had promised him honesty back at the start and Sam had promised to give him the same thing. It had earned him trouble more than once, when he said something that had set off the temper of the being beside him. He didn’t regret it, though. He wasn’t going to cower inside of his own dreams.

He knew that Loki worried about these dreams. That he was afraid that Lucifer was hurting him in here. Others would probably think the same thing. Hell, when they’d first started happening, Sam had worried about it, too. But Lucifer didn’t need violence to get his point across. Not with Sam. He used something far more effective—words.

They talked in these shared dreams. About who Sam had been, about the things done to him and the people who had done them. About who Lucifer had been and the things done to him as well. He liked to point out the similarities between the two of them. Things that he obviously hoped would make Sam more sympathetic to his side. And oh, there was no denying it, it was tempting sometimes. Sam knew the feelings of loneliness and isolation. He knew what it was like to have a brother who always seemed so damn perfect. To look up to that brother, to idolize them, and to always come in second best. He knew what it was like, too, to have a father that was firm in their ways, refusing to be questioned. He knew what it was like to buck against those restraints and to start to question everything. And he knew what it was like to be punished for asking those questions. Sam had been cut off from his family when he’d pushed too far, trying to go his own way, but he’d at least still been free. Free to move on and do what he wanted, to pursue his dreams at Stanford. Even if it hadn’t lasted he’d still had that opportunity. Lucifer? He’d been cast down, locked away, punished for the crime of loving his father more than anything.

There was more to it than that, Sam knew. His story wasn’t that simple or that cut and dry. But sometimes Sam couldn’t help but wonder at the rightness of what’d been done.

It was that feeling that worried the hunter the most. That questioning, wondering what was wrong and what was right, that was so very dangerous.

“You’re thinking deep thoughts tonight.” Lucifer remarked. “Even in your dreams. What troubles you, Sam?”

He huffed out a short breath that was just shy of a laugh. Tipping his head back, he looked up at the beautiful blue sky just barely dotted with clouds. “Too much.”

“You can talk to me, you know. I’m here to listen.”

“Somehow I think telling you my anti-apocalypse plans might be slightly counterintuitive.”

Rolling his head to the side a little, he caught sight of the hint of a smile that ghosted over Lucifer’s lips. “True. Shall I distract you instead, then? I could tell you a story.”

The incongruity of the whole thing had Sam shaking his head and laughing softly. His laugh made Lucifer’s smile grow a little. Shaking his head, the hunter sat up again, looking out over the water and then back to the being beside him. “Sometimes, you’re exactly what I expect you to be, and other times you’re nothing at all like what I think. I never figured we’d sit here, with a view like this, and just trade stories. I expected these dreams to be, I don’t know. Something…”

“More violent?” Lucifer finished dryly.

Sam shrugged sheepishly. He had no idea why he felt bad accusing the devil of all beings of violence and yet he couldn’t deny the little worm of guilt that squiggled in his stomach. It probably had something to do with the pained look on Lucifer’s face. In that moment, he didn’t look like the personification of evil that he was supposed to be. In fact, as he turned and looked out over the water, there was something to him that seemed so very ancient and sad. He sat there with his chin up and his shoulders squared like there was some great, unseen weight that had settled there, one he’d carried for so long he didn’t even notice it anymore. And in that moment, the young hunter knew that it wasn’t through pain or torture that he had to worry about being drawn to the fallen angel’s side. It was through sorrow and sympathy for a being who bore more hurt than Sam ever had or ever would know.

He found himself reaching out and laying his hand over the one that sat so stiffly upon Lucifer’s knee. He didn’t clasp it, didn’t do anything but lay his there, a silent support for a being who probably hadn’t known a single positive touch since the day he’d been cast down.

Pride kept Lucifer from looking at him or acknowledging the touch. That was fine. Sam didn’t mind. He knew well what it was like to cling to your pride when you had nothing else. But under his hand, he felt Lucifer’s relax, and he smiled. His eyes drifted back out over the view once more.

The two stayed silent as they stared out over the trees and the water. For that brief moment, there was peace.

* * *

Jesse stayed quiet when he woke the next morning. He didn’t really say much to either of them and neither Sam nor Loki pushed it. They just packed up things in the morning, allowing the boy to sit quietly with Dog on the couch, and then they loaded into the car. Breakfast was just a quick swing through a drive-thru , where Jesse didn’t even speak to order anything. All Sam got in response to his questions were a few shrugs. He shared a look with Loki at that and Loki shrugged, mouthing ‘teenagers’ at him. That had Sam snorting.

Once they had breakfast, they started on the last leg of their trip. On the way, Loki told them stories about the girl they were going to see and the place that she had. Apparently it was a large horse ranch just outside of Amarillo, Texas, with plenty of wide open pasture. Far enough away from people that the occasional bit of magic would go unnoticed by mortals, and also far enough away that Jesse shouldn’t accidentally cause any trouble with his own magic like he had back in Alliance. “She’s got about three dogs there at the moment and a whole barn full of horses.” Loki told them, obviously trying to draw Jesse’s interest in.

Sam could’ve told him it wouldn’t work. He’d snuck a few looks in the mirror and had seen the look on Jesse’s face. The carefully controlled mask, the way he watched either his lap or Dog and never really looked out the windows. He was still quiet, too, saying almost nothing. It was reminiscent for Sam of the many times he’d been forced to leave behind a place that he loved to follow his father somewhere new. He recognized that feeling of grieving for what was left behind and the fear of what was waiting up ahead. Dean had always enjoyed it, never seeming to care about moving on, but Sam had grieved almost every single time. He got attached to people, too quickly and too easily. It never failed to make it hurt when he had to move on. And he’d only been leaving behind friends. He’d still had his family with him. Jesse was leaving behind everything—friends, family, all of it. Was it any wonder that he was quietly grieving back there? What surprised Sam was that he was keeping in control as he was, and that there didn’t seem to be any spontaneous displays of magic like there had been back in Alliance. Then again…He slanted a look over at Loki, wondering if maybe the god had something to do with that. If maybe he was somehow shielding Jesse’s magic, though that seemed kind of impossible, if Jesse really was as powerful as Loki claimed.

The trickster gave a small nod, answering Sam’s question. Yes, he was shielding the boy somehow. Sam wasn’t sure how that worked, but he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Something told him that Jesse’s magic would be a lot worse than it had been before. Jesse had been happy back there and still people had died from things. How bad would it be with him sad?

For the first time, Sam found himself deliberately thinking at his friend, wanting him to hear his thoughts on purpose. _Will your friend be able to contain things or is there a chance he’ll be hurt by things?_

He’d expected a nod or a smile or some kind of nonverbal answer. What he hadn’t expected was the warm, musical voice answering him directly in his head. _‘She knows how to contain magic. It’s one of her strengths. She’ll be able to shelter him. And I’ll leave some things behind to help out, bolster up the wards she has around the place. He won’t be a risk to her or anyone around them.’_

That had Sam’s tension easing. He relaxed a bit and nodded.

It took them another hour after that before they were pulling up to a gate at the edge of a very large looking piece of property. Loki didn’t even get out of the car, but the gate swung open. Sam shook his head before heading up the drive.

They pulled up in front of a gorgeous two-story house. Sam admired it openly as he climbed out of the car. It was done beautifully in brick and stone and warm looking woods. Expensive looking, yes, but with something to it that made it look more like a _home_. Even the wide brick porch and its huge dark wooden doors came off as inviting. The plants all around the front of it just made it seem even more welcoming.

Sam didn’t have but a moment to admire it all. The front door opened almost as soon as they all straightened up from the car and Sam’s attention turned from the house itself to the woman who was now coming out the door. She was a beautiful woman; enough to make anyone stand up a little straighter and pay attention. Even from a distance Sam could tell that she had to be at least his height, maybe an inch shorter but no more than that. She leaned towards the heavyset side, though in the jeans and tank top she wore it really just made her look curvy in all the right ways. Brown hair was pulled up into a messy bun on the back of her head and bright green eyes twinkled happily at the sight of them.

Loki lit up at the sight of her and called out a happy “Kayla!” He pushed off from the car and launched himself towards her. Without hesitation, she caught him up in a hug that actually lifted him off his feet, making the both of them laugh.

It was the first time that Sam could see what the height difference must look like between him and Loki and it made him grin despite himself.

Kayla set the trickster down on his feet and grinned happily down at him. “You act like it’s been ages since you seen me last, Lo.” She teased him. Her voice was a bit low, with a unique rasp and twang mixed into it, all underscored with an amusement and love that was easy to hear directed at the god in front of her.

“Can’t I just be happy to see my best girl?” He teased back, patting her cheek.

She snorted openly at that. “Flattery will get you nowhere, little man. Why don’t you pretend you’ve got manners for a moment and introduce me to everyone else, hm?”

Loki let out a long-suffering sigh like this was just the hardest thing in the world for him to do. But his smirk was still in place and his eyes were twinkling with honest good humor as he turned to Sam and Jesse and gestured them forward. “C’mon guys. She won’t bite, I promise.”

“I haven’t eaten humans in ages.” Kayla said dryly.

Surprise flashed over Jesse’s face and he leaned in towards Sam ever so slightly, but Sam just grinned, recognizing the dry humor. “We wouldn’t make a good meal anyways.”

“Too skinny.” Kayla agreed easily. Her eyes were laughing when they locked on his and then drifted down to Jesse. “Guess I’ll have to fatten you up first.” Eyes crinkling at the corners from a wide smile, she stuck her hand out to Sam first. “I’m Kayla, and you must be the Sam I’ve heard so much about. It’s great to meet you.”

“Believe nothing he told you.” Sam took her hand and shook it, giving her back a smile of his own that showed his dimples. “Whatever he said, it’s probably lies, all lies.”

She let out a laugh that was big and just as raspy as her voice. It was the kind of laugh that you couldn’t help but smile at. “I know how to read between the lines with this one over here.” When she let go of Sam’s hand, she turned to Jesse next, and Sam’s respect for her went up another notch when she didn’t greet the preteen like a child or even hesitate. Presumably Loki had already told her all about Jesse, so it said a lot about her character that she held a hand out without hesitation and gave him just as broad of a smile. “Nice to meet you too, Jesse. Lo told me about you, too, and I’m thrilled to have you here.”

Someone had taught Jesse manners at some point. Though quiet, he thanked her politely as he shook her hand, telling her a soft “Thank you for having me.”

“It’s not a problem at all, sweetheart. Why don’t we go ahead and take your bag inside and get you settled?”

She led them in through the front door and into a wide, beautiful foyer. It was done in the same stone and wood as outside and it looked beautiful. Sam admired it openly as he was led inside. This was the kind of place that looked nice and yet one felt like they could still kick off their shoes and be at home here. It didn’t have that ‘too clean, don’t touch’ feel that some fancier places had.

Once they were in, she gestured down the hallway on her right and looked over to Jesse. “I made up the guest room at the end of the hall for you, last door on the left. It has its own bathroom, so you’ll be able to be private. Pretty much everything on the bottom floor is open to explore, but upstairs is my domain. My bedroom’s up there and my private, personal office, but everywhere else downstairs you can feel free to explore. Why don’t you go on an set your stuff down? You can find us in the kitchen when you’re done.” Lifting her hand, she jerked her thumb over her shoulder. “Dining room is this way and it leads right on into the kitchen.”

Jesse jerked his shoulder in a half assed version of a shrug and then silently turned to head down the hall, his bag slung over his shoulder. Sam watched him go and couldn’t help but worry.

A warm hand settled on his shoulder. Turning, he found Kayla smiling kindly at him, her expression understanding. “He’ll be fine, Sam. Don’t worry about him. It sounds like things have sucked pretty damn bad for the kid. He just needs a bit of time to angst and adjust. Trust me. I have two big brothers and two younger ones; I know how boys can be.” Winking, she let out another laugh. Then she led the way to the kitchen.

As soon as she got them in the kitchen, and sat down at the kitchen bar—Sam had tried to protest, but a firm look had put him in his place, much to Loki’s amusement—she started to make a pot of coffee while chatting amiably with them both, talking about the operation that she ran here. Apparently this wasn’t just some horse ranch, it was a horse _rescue_. “I take in horses that have been through the wringer. Abused, neglected, you name it. I get a lot of old racehorses that people are all set to get rid of cause they aren’t as fast as they used to be.” Shifting from the pot, she grabbed a few mugs out of the cupboard, bringing them over to set in front of them. “Just cause they can’t race anymore doesn’t mean they aren’t worth something, y’know? I bring them here, take care of them, evaluate them, and then help find a better placement for them.”

“That sounds amazing.” Sam said honestly.

She flashed him a smile before ducking down into the fridge. “I like helping, and horses are a lot easier to understand than people.” Straightening back up, she held a tray in her hand and her grin grew. “People are idiots. I like animals a lot better.”

“People can be fun.” Loki protested. His mischievous smirk gave him away, though, and the other two rolled their eyes at him.

Setting her tray down in front of Loki, she shook her head and pulled off the lid, showing a row of éclairs that had Loki sitting up straighter. He was practically drooling now and they both laughed at him. “I figured since I knew round about when you’d be here, I’d go on an make these for you.” She told him, smiling when he dove right in. Amused eyes flickered over to Sam. “I generally make these for him when he visits. I’m sure you’ve realized what a slut for sweets he is.”

“Anyone would be for these!” Loki said around a mouthful of food.

Sam shook his head. Still, he smiled a little as the two started to tease each other, falling into a playful banter that he could tell was comfortable and easy for them and spoke of their affection for each other. Despite the random flirtatious remarks there was a more familial vibe to the way they spoke to each other than anything else. Sam got the feeling that Loki thought of her like some surrogate niece or something.

His thoughts started to drift a little while they talked. Almost immediately they moved towards the preteen who had yet to come join them. Jesse hadn’t come to join them yet and Sam admitted to himself that he was slightly worried. The kid had so much on his plate right now. It just wasn’t fair. He’d found out he was adopted, his mother had been impregnated by a _demon_ , and that he was half demon and his powers were pushing out without control and hurting people. That alone would be a whole lot to take in. But then he’d been told he was at risk, that Heaven and Hell were coming after him and one side wanted to kidnap him while the other wanted to kill him, and the only way to keep himself and his parents safe was to leave them behind and go somewhere with these people he’d never met before, to stay with a woman he’d never met before. Sam wished he knew something to say or do that could make this a little easier on him. Anything, to ease the burden he’d placed on this kid’s shoulders.

Fingers brushed against the outside of his thigh and Sam looked up to find that Kayla was over by the sink, but Loki had turned towards him, his gaze compassionate. He didn’t criticize Sam for his train of thought, though, or try to offer him any kind words, which would’ve felt odd to Sam. Instead, he smiled a little at him and gave his leg a squeeze. “Why don’t you go on down and check on Jesse, Samshine? See if he’s settling in fine.”

No one had to tell him twice. Sam smiled gratefully at him.

He followed Kayla’s earlier directions and made his way down to the room that was now Jesse’s. The door was open just slightly. Sam didn’t go in, though. He paused at the door and lightly rapped his knuckles against it, calling out a low “Jesse?”

There was a slight pause and then the boy called out. “Come in.”

Sam pushed the door open and slipped into the room. A quick look around showed him a basic room. Nice looking twin bed on a wooden frame, matching dresser and nightstands, a table with a stereo on it, and a window that boasted a pretty nice view of a back garden and some open fields. He only gave that a cursory look, though. Most of his attention fixed on the boy that was sitting cross legged at the head of the bed, staring down at his hands twisted together in his lap. He was practically radiating his depression. Sam winced as he looked at him. With a careful breath, he pushed down his own fears, forced himself not to show just how worried he was. He made sure his voice was just this side of casual when he spoke. “Hey, I just came to see if maybe you might be hungry. Kayla’s got these éclairs out that look pretty damn good. I mean, you might have to fight Loki for them. He looked pretty intent of shoveling them all in. But I’m pretty sure Kayla would make him share.”

“I’m not hungry.” Jesse said. He drew his elbows in a little closer to his sides and his shoulders were practically up to his ears now. Wow. The kid was really hunching in on himself.

After only a second’s debate, Sam pushed off from the door frame and made his way into the room, stopping and sitting down on the foot of the bed. It put him close enough to talk without crowding him. Jesse didn’t even look up as Sam sat down. He just stared down at his hands and kept twisting his fingers around. This close, Sam could see that he held some small, braided bracelet and that’s what he was turning round and round in his hands. Sam chose not to comment on it. Instead, he drew one leg up a little, turning himself to better face him. “What’s going on, Jesse?”

He wasn’t sure what surprised him more. That Jesse actually answered, or what he answered with. “Why can’t I go with you guys?”

Well, that hadn’t been what he’d expected to hear, _at all._ He looked curiously at the boy who was still staring down at the bracelet in his hands. “We told you, things aren’t safe with us.” Sam said slowly.

Jesse’s head shot up and his expression open and earnest, his eyes pleading. “I don’t care! I can stay in the room, stay out of the way. I won’t be a burden.”

“Oh, Jesse.” Part of Sam’s heart broke a little at that. He couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to lay a hand on Jesse’s knee. “Listen to me, okay? You’re not a burden. Not at all. We aren’t leaving you here because we don’t _want_ you with us. We’re leaving you here because it’s safest for _you_. Kayla can protect you here and she can show you how to use your powers so they don’t hurt people around you without you knowing it.”

“Why can’t Loki teach me? He said he could. He said he could teach both of us! _You_ get to stay with him and learn! Why can’t I?”

“Jesse…” Sam hesitated, biting his bottom lip while he tried to figure out what to say. “Loki isn’t teaching me my powers.”

That had the boy furrowing his brows. “What? Why not?”

“Because, well…”

“Because they’re bad?”

Oh, damn. This was why he hadn’t wanted to have this kind of talk. Sam rubbed a hand over his face and wished he knew the right thing to say here. How could he explain this without making Jesse think that his powers were bad? “Mine are, well, they aren’t like yours, Jesse. You were born with your powers.”

“Loki said you were born with yours, too.” Jesse interrupted.

Damn kids and their sharp ears. And damn Loki for saying any of that in front of him! “It’s not that simple. I did some really bad things with my powers. Some things that hurt a lot of people.”

“Isn’t that more of a reason for Loki to teach you how to use them right?”

He didn’t have an answer for that. Especially since there was a small voice in the back of Sam’s mind that was agreeing with him.

Apparently he’d gone quiet for too long. Jesse slumped a little and his eyes dropped back down to his lap. “Never mind.” He mumbled. His fingers tightened a little in that bracelet. “It’s not a big deal.”

There was something in his voice that really caught Sam’s attention. He paused and tipped his head so he could look down at the sullen boy in front of him. Carefully, he studied Jesse’s face, trying to read what he saw there. Gently he squeezed the back of the boy’s knee. “What’s really going on here, Jesse? What’s the problem?” When Jesse said nothing, he gave him a tiny shake. “You gotta talk to me, man. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on.” It struck him then, just how much he sounded like Dean, and he had to push back the hurt. Right now he needed to focus on Jesse.

He wasn’t sure at first if Jesse was going to actually answer him or if he was just going to stay silent. Then, in a voice so soft Sam almost didn’t hear it, the kid spoke. “She doesn’t understand.”

A voice inside told Sam to read very, very carefully here. “Understand what?”

“Me.” Jesse breathed out. His hands curled into fists in his lap and his shoulders hunched up even more. “She’s not like…like us.”

The light went off. Suddenly, things made a lot more sense, and Sam closed his eyes against the ache that flared up inside. _Like us._ Kayla had the powers of a god, not the powers of a demon. She didn’t have demon blood flowing inside of her veins. Sam remembered how utterly terrified he’d been when he first found out. How he’d felt, what horrible things he’d thought about himself. Things that he still thought now sometimes. A lot of the time. And here Jesse was, this eleven year old boy, and he’d just been told that he not only had demon blood in him, he was actually half demon, and it was horrible and it sucked, but…there was this guy right there with him, talking about how he had demon blood in him too. Was it any wonder that Jesse was latching on to the only other person he thought might understand him?

“I think she might understand more than you give her credit for.” Sam said carefully. When Jesse looked up mutinously, he held up a hand to silence him. “Hear me out, man. Kayla’s half human, just like you, and half something else. She also chose to live human, which I doubt made life very easy for her. I’ve had the chance to encounter a lot of beings and creatures over the years and I gotta say, a lot of them don’t hold humans in very high regards. I can’t imagine the other side of her family is all that pleased with her being half human. In fact, they probably look at it the same way hunters would look at someone being half demon.”

He saw Jesse’s expression turn a bit contemplative. “You think?”

Sam shrugged one shoulder. “I can’t be sure. I don’t know Kayla and I don’t know her story. But it seems pretty likely. So don’t you think maybe you should try and give her a chance before you decide that she’s not going to be able to understand you?”

Jesse’s gaze dropped back down, a little sheepish this time. “Yeah.”

Smiling, Sam gave his knee a shake and a final squeeze before letting go. “Besides,” He said, his tone much more cheerful now. “Just because Loki and I are leaving doesn’t mean you’re getting rid of us. Before we go, I’ll ask Loki if he can get you a cell phone. That way you can call me whenever you feel like talking.”

“Really?”

“Of course.”

This time when Jesse looked up, there was a small smile on his lips and some of his earlier fear seemed to be gone. “Thanks, Sam.”

“Anytime, kiddo. Anytime.”

* * *

The two of them went back out of the room together. Sure enough, Loki had absolutely no issue with snapping up a cell phone for Jesse. They put Sam’s number in there, as well as Loki’s number, which made Sam goggle a bit. He hadn’t known that the trickster had a cell phone. Loki had just laughed at his expression and winked at him while Kayla snickered on the sidelines.

Kayla offered to make them lunch, but it was surprisingly Loki who declined, insisting that they should get back out on the road.

Leaving Jesse behind wasn’t easy. Sam hated to have to do it and it didn’t make it any easier when he said goodbye and the preteen actually hugged him tightly. He felt like the world’s worst kind of jerk as he got into the car and pulled away, leaving Jesse and Kayla standing together on the porch.

“He’s gonna be fine.” Loki told him as they drove away. “And if he’s not, he’ll call, and I can be there in a snap.”

“I know.” Really, he did. He knew that. He just…

“You’re worried.” Loki said. Then he grinned. “Aww, Sammy! Look at you acting all parental!” Reaching out, Loki pinched at his cheek, laughing when Sam swatted it away. Sam’s bitchface only made him laugh even more. “Oh relax, Sasquatch. Kayla’s good people. She’ll take care of the kid. You keep moping like this, I’m gonna think you don’t trust me or my friends.”

There was a sort of wry note to the end of that, like Loki didn’t actually believe that Sam trusted him, and for some reason that bothered Sam. A lot. His scowl deepened and he glared at his companion, someone he very much had come to call friend. “Don’t be stupid. If I didn’t trust you, do you really think we’d be here?” Blowing out a short, frustrated breath, he focused back on the road, taking the exit they’d need to put them on the highway. He had no idea where they were going and at the moment he didn’t really care. _Away from here_ seemed to be the goal. As he got back out onto the highway, he spoke again, never looking away from the road. “It’s not a matter of me trusting you, or trusting her. It’s just, something Jesse said. As nice as Kayla is…”

“She’s not like you.”

The low words had Sam’s gaze snapping briefly over to Loki. The trickster was curved in his seat, one leg drawn up, and he was sucking on yet another suck as he watched Sam with that intensity of his that was sometimes so disconcerting. Sam brought his eyes back to the road and tried not to flush. “You were listening.”

“I’m always listening to you, Sammy.”

That was kind of creepy…and sweet. “That was kind of a private conversation, you know.” Somehow, he couldn’t quite bring himself to show the right level of annoyance over it, though.

“Mm. He had some interesting points, though, that kid.”

“What?”

“About your powers. He’s right, you know. I could show you how to use them the right way.” He saw Sam starting to speak and held up a hand. “I know you don’t want to. But you aren’t going to have a choice, eventually. Powers like that, they don’t just vanish. They’ll come back some day. Wouldn’t you rather do it while prepared and while you’re in control?”

Sam didn’t answer him right away. Honestly, he wasn’t sure how to answer him. Ever since this subject has first come up, he’d been firm on not using his powers, on wanting to keep far away from them. All it took was reminding himself what he’d done with them to keep him from wanting to try again. But he couldn’t deny that there was a part of him that wanted it. That wanted to get that feeling once again. Not the power, not that high he’d felt when the blood was in him and he was so strong, when he knew he was powerful. No, he wanted that feeling that he’d gotten at the beginning. That warm glow inside of him when he’d first started to exorcise the demons. That relief at being able to pull the demon out and leave the host alive. It felt like ever since they’d first gotten the knife from Ruby, when they gained that weapon that could kill a demon, that was all they used. They were always stabbing the demons and killing them _and_ their host. That went against the grain for Sam in so many ways. What happened to exorcising demons? To _saving_ the host?

With his powers, he’d been able to save them. Sure, sometimes the host was too damaged to survive afterwards, but that wasn’t his fault. That was due to how the demons treated the body they were in. But plenty of them were still alive. Plenty got to heal, to go back to their lives. Sam knew he had so much blood on his hands already. Adding more made him feel sick. If he could save people, really save them, maybe it could counter that, even just the tiniest bit.

_Do you even know how far off the reservation you’ve gone? How far from normal? From human?_

The echo of Dean’s words made him wince. If his brother found out he was even entertaining this, he’d be furious. But what was new about that? Dean was always furious with him anymore. Dean thought he was a vampire, a monster. He was done trying to save Sam. This would just be one more nail in Sam’s coffin, so to speak.

“Fine.” He said softly, fingers tightening on the wheel. There was only a slight tremor in them before he stilled it. “Fine, I’ll learn.”

The car went quiet for a few minutes. Then, to his surprise, he heard a soft “Oh, Sam.” When he looked, though, Loki had on his usual smirk, no traces of anything soft in his expression. “Good. We’ll start on it tomorrow. For now, why don’t you drive and I tell you about some of the plans I’ve been turning over in my head.”

That was enough to push back Sam’s curiosity and worries about their previous topic. He sat up a little straighter and his attention sharpened on his passenger. “Plans? You have more than one?”

“I have two potentials—one’s a whole lot more likely than the other, but neither one is easy.”

“Of course not.” Because why would any of this be easy? When was anything _ever_ easy?

Loki chuckled, making a small sound of agreement. “All right. Well, option one is simple, sort of, but a bit tricky, and I don’t have all the details yet. But…if we could get the keys, we could open Lucifer’s cage and throw his ass back in there.”

Sam’s eyebrows shot up. Open up the cage and throw Lucifer back in? “What…seriously?”

“Yep.” Loki said, making his voice _pop_ on that last ‘p’. “It wouldn’t be easy, though. First, we’d have to get the keys. Four keys—four rings. From the Horsemen.”

“We already have one!” Sam said excitedly. “Before Dean and I…before we split, we came across War. Dean has his ring.”

That stopped Loki in his tracks. He gaped at Sam, almost dropping the sucker from his mouth. Then his jaw snapped shut and he shook his head. “Freaking Winchesters. Why do I continue to be surprised?” It was said sort of fondly, though, so Sam didn’t take any offense. “Okay, so apparently you have one already. But there are only three Horsemen loose right now. There’s a ritual that has to be done to raise Death, and word is that Lucifer isn’t planning on just raising him, he wants to _bind_ him, too. An before you go all hero on me here, no, there is no way whatsoever of stopping him. None of us have that kind of power. Besides, if we go with this plan, we need Death free. We’ll need his ring. Getting those rings won’t be easy. Even then, that’s not the trickiest part. Once we have them, we have to somehow get Lucifer back in. It’s not like we can just open the door and _push._ ”

“And you said this was the simple plan.” Sam said, his voice dry.

“Oh, it is. The next plan is much more difficult.”

Of course it was. Sam drew in a breath and blew it back out carefully. He was grateful the highway was mostly empty. It made it easier to split his focus between the road and the trickster at his side. “All right. What’s your next insane plan?”

“We call them down, strip them of their grace, and make them human.” Loki’s said lightly, in a voice that Sam figured was supposed to come out relaxed but instead came out just this side of tense. “A sort of chance at redemption, as it were, forced to live with those they were going to destroy.”

It was insane. It was absolutely insane. Suicidal, even. If it didn’t work, they’d be face to face with two very pissed off archangels. Not to mention—how the hell did someone even strip two of the most powerful beings around of their mojo?

“With a very complicated, very complex ritual.” Loki answered his thoughts.

Huh. “It sounds dangerous as hell.”

That got him a small snort. “Hell.” Loki gave a mocking chuckle. “Nice choice of words.”

“Loki…”

“Seriously, kiddo. All our options are dangerous here. We’re going up against _Michael_ and _Lucifer_. You think it’s gonna be easy?”

“No. I’d just like to be able to go into it thinking that we’ll actual have a chance at succeeding.”

“Hey, no one ever said it was gonna be easy.”

No kidding. Sam didn’t expect easy. He just would like to feel like there was a small chance of success. Both plans seemed dangerous. Putting the devil back in his cage—there were so many things in that one that could go wrong. They’d have to get a ring from each Horseman, which wasn’t going to be easy. Oh, and they had to let Lucifer raise _Death_ to do it. Because that just sounded like such a good idea. Then, even if they managed to do all of that and get all the rings, how on earth were they supposed to force Lucifer back in? The idea of which made Sam’s stomach twist and knot and not just out of worry. He refused to examine those feelings too closely, though.

The other plan sounded ridiculously dangerous. Stripping archangels of their grace and forcing them to become human. Not just Lucifer, but Michael, too?

“Has to be both. Otherwise we’re just gonna have the other one trying to fix things up and start it all over again.” Loki said.

Sam resisted rolling his eyes. Well, on the bright side, with a mind reading companion, he didn’t actually have to voice any questions. He could just let his mind run through this all and Loki could pick out little bits here and there and answer what he could.

So, okay, he could see why they had to include both sides in this, but that just doubled the danger. Neither one was going to do this willingly. On the other hand, if this succeeded, they’d be human. A chance at redemption, Loki had said. Sam liked the sound of those words. He heard Loki make a surprised sound and knew that the trickster hadn’t expected him to think like that. He shrugged one shoulder. “Everyone deserves a shot at redemption.”

“Even the devil?”

“I think especially him.” Sam said slowly. He chewed on his bottom lip and stared forward, not quite able to bring himself to look at Loki as he spoke yet unable to stop the flow of words. “He…he was wrong, in what he did. I’m not denying that. But sometimes I think God was too. I’m not saying Lucifer didn’t deserve punishment. He did. He does. He just…” Trailing off, Sam sighed. He’d never tried to put this into words before. He hadn’t dared voice these thoughts out loud. Loki wasn’t stopping him, though. He was sitting there silently watching Sam with a look on his face that was hard to read but that clearly said all of his attention was focused on the hunter. The lack of judgment gave Sam the courage to continue. “Punishment is supposed to teach you something. You’re supposed to learn from it so you can do better. Only, what was he supposed to learn, locked away in a box, cut off from everyone? That’s enough to drive anyone insane. I would think it’d be worse for an angel to be alone like that. Shut up without any contact from his family, any love, anything _good_ , is it any wonder he’s worse than he was? He’s had so much time to sit in there alone and stew in his anger and his pain and his self-hatred.”

“You think he hates himself?”

“I think he despises himself more than any of us ever could.” Sam said softly. And that was something he understood quite well.

The car fell silent after that. Loki said nothing, just turned his gaze towards the window and stared unseeing through the glass.


	7. Chapter 7

The thing about Loki’s plans was that there wasn’t anything that could be immediately done. Turning the archangels human was their main plan at the moment and that required a lot of prep work and even more research. The prep work wasn’t something that Sam could help with, nor was it something that Loki would even tell him—“Some of it, your little human brain just couldn’t handle, Sam-a-lam-a, and the rest, well…can ya blame a guy for not wanting to hand over information on powerful binding magic?”—but Plan B was something that Sam could work on. He and Loki both believed that it was smart to prepare for either option on the chance that something ended up going wrong with Plan A. Better to be prepared to go the second route in they had to. So Sam set himself to trying to track the Horsemen as well as researching anything that might help them somehow put the devil back in the box once it was open.

Unfortunately, all this meant that Loki started spending gaps of time away from Sam. Not all day or anything like that. He seemed content to do most of his traveling at night while Sam was sleeping. But there were the occasional day trips. Times where he had to go to talk to someone, or pick up something, or do whatever it was that he had to do. Just because they were working on these plans together didn’t mean that Loki was really any more forthcoming than he’d been before. It was frustrating sometimes, but that was Loki for you. If he started suddenly being all open and sharing, it would’ve immediately set Sam on edge and had him wondering what was wrong.

Loki never missed an evening with him, though. Once Sam was done researching or driving or whatever it was that he needed to do during the day, he would find himself being ushered into whatever motel he was staying in at the time, where Loki would force dinner on him whether he liked it or not and then the two would settle in for ‘training’. Loki hadn’t given Sam any sort of chance to change his mind about that. It wasn’t exactly a part of the day that Sam looked forward to all that much. He’d thought training with Ruby was hard—it was nothing compared to training with Loki.

That first night, the very night after they’d left Jesse, Loki had sat him down in their motel room and explained things to him. “Normally, powers like yours would’ve grown naturally, maturing with you as you matured. Only, things got all messed up.”

“Azazel.” Sam said softly, just managing not to wince.

If Loki noticed it, or the hint of bitterness in Sam’s voice, he didn’t comment on it. He just kept going. “Yep. It’s more than just the blood, though.” Loki paused and Sam could tell he wasn’t happy about what he had to say next. He watched Sam carefully and that warned the hunter right away that this was important. “You’ve been groomed for Lucifer for a long time, Sammich. Longer than you’ve been alive. Longer than I even realized.” That last bit was tacked on almost absently, more towards Loki himself than towards Sam. Then he shook his head and his attention was back on Sam again. “Azazel didn’t just give you his blood, he used it to sort of—the best description I can give is that he bound your powers. Shielded them a bit. That’s why all of his special kids were only so strong, but suddenly got stronger when they went ‘dark side’, as you like to put it. He removed that filter then and it boosted their powers, and he used that link between his blood and them to twist them even darker. It’s what he would’ve done to you, only you were stronger than he’d expected, and you guys kicked his ass. But even with him gone, that binding was still there, and the only way that they could get through it…”

“…was with more demon blood.”

“Exactly. And your powers were what were needed to kill Lilith. There are only a few things capable of killing that bitch.”

“So they sent Ruby.” Wow, talk about putting things in perspective. It made Sam feel like even more of an idiot. With it put out in the open like this, so many things were starting to slot into place, so many questions were answered, and a thousand new questions took their place. How long had they been steering him towards this? Had he ever even stood a chance? Sam closed his eyes and fought back the tremble that tried to take his hands. He’d been doomed from day one all so he could play this part. People had been hurt, people had _died_ , because he was needed for this role. Because he was born to be Lucifer’s vessel. _So it was always me. I never stood a chance._ And oh, that hurt. The guilt and pain inside of him grew even more.

“Hey!” A flick to the forehead cut off those thoughts before they could spiral down any further. Sam blinked his eyes a few times and found Loki glaring at him. “None of that.” The trickster scolded him firmly. “People bigger and smarter than you manipulated this to go exactly the way they wanted. You didn’t stand a chance, Sammo. Hating yourself for it now won’t do shit. All you can do is keep going forward and try to fix it. Now, do you want to hear what we have to do next, or you want me to leave you here to mope for a while?”

No one could ever accuse Loki of coddling. His no-nonsense attitude was actually easier for Sam to handle, though. He wasn’t sure he could’ve taken that rare, soft side of the trickster at the moment. But Loki’s rude, snarky attitude put his back up enough that he could pull out of his depressive thoughts and actually manage to glare a little at the shorter man.

That glare made Loki grin. “Good. Now, what I need you to do is lay down, shut up, and close your eyes. I’m going to go in that giant head of yours and break down the binding so your powers can be _yours_ again.”

“That doesn’t exactly sound safe.”

“Better than letting them break out on their own.” Loki countered. “Which, they will do. They won’t be contained forever. It might take a few years, but eventually they’d break free, and there’s no telling what that would do to you. If we do this, I can take the binding off so that instead of your powers bursting out at full strength, they’ll start off easy, low key, and you can train them up at your pace without getting overwhelmed. It’ll be like working out a brand new muscle.”

“Yeah, cause that was so much fun last time.”

Still, Sam had to admit that this option sounded a hell of a lot better than the other. So he let Loki lay him back on the bed, ignoring the eyebrow wiggle and smirk, and he battled back his instinctive need to tense up as Loki’s hands cupped either side of his head. Whatever the trickster did, he didn’t feel. One minute Sam was laying there with Loki holding his head and the next he was opening his eyes and it was morning, and Loki was perched at the little crappy motel table with two plates of pancakes and some fruit. When he saw Sam was awake, he grinned at him and gestured him over. “I brought breakfast!”

“What happened?” Sam asked, a little groggy but surprisingly alert. He felt more rested than he had in a while, even with the dull headache.

“You’re free and clear of any binding Azazel put on you. I put you to sleep afterwards so you could sleep through most of the headache and maybe lose the vampire look you had going on. Now, come eat! I brought pancakes, and I even brought some fruit!”

Sam had stared at him for a moment, not quite able to figure out what to say or do, which was a feeling that was far too common when Loki was around. Then, he’d done the only thing he could do—he’d joined him for breakfast.

That was a week ago. Every night since then, Loki had walked Sam through training his powers, trying to get him to ‘strengthen that muscle’. Doing it before bed allowed him to sleep away most of the headache that came from his exercise. According to Loki, Sam’s abilities would be the same. Precognitive, either in visions or in dreams—“The migraines shouldn’t come back, kiddo, don’t worry. Those were from your powers and Azazel’s binding fighting against each other. Just goes to show how strong your powers are if they were fighting against him!”—telekinetic, at least somewhat, and yes, he would still be able to exorcise demons. According to Loki, that was actually something he owed to the demon blood, to how it had warped the growth of that ‘muscle’ in his head. “There are bound to be some things that are different. Just cause you aren’t drinking demon blood anymore doesn’t mean that you don’t have any. He gave you some when you were just a baby. Your body grew up with it in there. It’s reasonable that it affected your biology a bit.”

But all of that was for his nights. It was early morning now, daytime, and this was the time he devoted to his search for the Horsemen.

Loki had gone out about an hour earlier to ‘speak with a friend’ as he’d put it. The leer that had gone with it told Sam what kind of friend he was going to speak with. Not that it really mattered what kind of friends Loki had. That was his business, not Sam’s. Sam didn’t care who Loki spent his time with. He most definitely _wasn’t_ jealous.

He scoffed and settled down onto the bed with is laptop. Yeah, not even _he_ believed that. When he looked over, he saw Dog sitting by his legs, giving him a look that was far too intelligent for Sam’s tastes. “Nobody asked you.”

Sam had just gotten his laptop open when his phone buzzed on the nightstand. Immediately he reached out for it. There were only a few people who had this number. However, the text he found wasn’t at all what he was expecting.

_Pineview Hotel, Vermilion, Ohio. Come ASAP, life or death - Chuck_

Sam didn’t bother wondering how the hell Chuck had his number when no one else but Loki, Jesse and Kayla should, he just chalked it up to him being the prophet and quickly started to gather his things. Chuck was a friend, another person who was at risk in this stupid apocalyptic crapshoot, and there was no way Sam could turn down the call for help. He gathered up everything, loaded him and Dog into the car, and took off. Loki would find him whenever he was ready. It didn’t seem to matter where Sam went; he always found him.

* * *

He luckily wasn’t that far away. He drove most of the morning away and made it to the Hotel by early afternoon. The minute he pulled into the parking lot, he knew there was something going on. Something odd. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of the first impala he saw—then it turned to confusion when he saw the parking lot was _full_ of impalas. What the hell? He pushed it to the back of his mind for now, though. Once he parked, he hurried out of his car, taking only enough time to ensure that he had his weapons on him and to open the door in an offer for Dog—who looked at him like he was insane and then burrowed back underneath the sweater he’d claimed as his own in the backseat—and then he was hurrying off towards the hotel.

Even with the parking lot full of replicas of his brother’s car, he was still thrown to round the corner and find Dean standing right out front with Chuck.

Sam was a little bit ashamed of himself when he froze and actually contemplated turning around and walking away.

He didn’t, though. He wasn’t going to run off like some coward. Drawing in a breath that was a little too shaky for his liking, he kept moving forward, made himself stroll right up to them. They both turned before he got all the way to them and Dean gave him a look that Sam had seen many times on hunts when his brother was worried about him. It was an angry look, one that let him know Dean was pissed, but there was relief underneath it, too, that said he was happy to see Sam was alive. Seeing that look there now eased something that was knotted deep inside of Sam. Things couldn’t be too bad if Dean was giving him a look like that, right?

Chuck, however, looked upset and horribly embarrassed. “Oh, no.” He groaned when he saw Sam. “You too?”

Well that was a hell of a greeting. Sam arched an eyebrow at him and slowed as he got close to the two. “Nice to see you too, Chuck.”

The prophet’s cheeks immediately turned red. “I, I didn’t, I mean I wasn’t…I didn’t mean it like that.”

Dean looked over at Sam, giving him that once over that he always did when checking Sam for injuries, but his tone when he spoke was low and cool and still most definitely pissed off. “You got a the distress text too, huh?” His eyes reached Sam’s and the temper there was enough to make Sam flinch a little. “So Chuck’s got your new number, but your own family doesn’t, huh? Nice, Sam.”

“I didn’t give him my number.” Sam said. He kept his own voice even and steady. There was no point in antagonizing his brother any further. Any of the warm feeling that he’d felt at knowing Dean was worried about him was vanishing now as his brother shut down right in front of him. It hurt to see.

A sneer curled Dean’s lips. “Yeah, right. Cause I’m sure a prophet gets random visions about our cell phone numbers.”

“A-Actually, I did.” Chuck interrupted, sheepishly brushing his hair back. “I just, just felt like I should put it in my phone, you know? I don’t know why. It was just, ah, just one of those things…”

Anything further was cut off by a loud squeal that had them all looking over to the stairs where an excited looking blond was staring at them like it was Christmas come early. Or, more accurately, staring at _Sam_. Seeing her had Sam wanting to groan. He remembered her—the superfan. A grin stretched her face and her eyes were bright as looked at them. “Sam!” She shouted happily. “You made it!”

It took Sam a second to place her. His ran through his memories trying to find her name. “Oh, ah…Becky, right?”

Becky rushed towards them and came to a stop right in front of Sam, beaming broadly up at him. “Oh, you remembered.” Her voice lowered and she looked like she was practically quivering. “You’ve been thinking about me.”

Feeling distinctly uncomfortable, he shifted back just the slightest bit, just enough out of her space that he could breathe a little easier. “I, uh…”

“It's ok,” She said happily, completely oblivious to his discomfort. “I can't get you out of my head either.”

The sound of someone clearing their throat drew their attention over to Chuck, who was watching Becky with a pained expression on his face. “Becky, did you take my phone?”

“I just borrowed it from your pants.” She said.

He closed his eyes and sighed. “Becky...”

“What? They're going to want to see it!”

“See what?” San and Dean growled together. They shot one another a look, then quickly looked away, neither one quite willing to acknowledge each other.

Becky, however, clapped her hands and bounced a little. “Oh my God. I love it when they talk at the same time!”

Someone else appeared then, breaking up their little group, and Sam was almost grateful for it. “Hey, Chuck?” The guy called out. “Come on, pal, it’s show time.”

Becky squealed again and turned to race up the stairs. But Chuck looked at the brothers with such an apologetic look on his face that it instantly put them both on edge. “Guys…I’m sorry. For everything.”

Sam watched him go with a feeling of trepidation. He could go, he knew. Right now. He could turn around and go get in his car and drive. There was no reason to be here anymore. Chuck wasn’t in any danger; Becky had arranged all this. Sam could just leave, drive as far as he could get before nightfall and then find himself a motel and wait for Loki to show up just like he did every night. He could do that, and it would be easy. He wouldn’t have to deal with whatever Chuck was doing here, or with Becky, or with the furious brother still standing nearby.

He watched as, without once looking his way, Dean stalked towards the hotel entrance.

Letting out a low sigh, and cursing himself in every language he knew, Sam followed after him.

* * *

This was a nightmare. A freaking nightmare. Sam sat at the hotel bar and resisted the urge to drop his head down into his hands. Why couldn’t this have been a case? A good, life or death kind of fight, something he could let himself go with. Something he could fight. Instead, it was… _this._

A Supernatural Convention.

He knew that Chuck had turned his visions into books, of course. They’d found that out a while ago. But he hadn’t realized that they actually had this kind of following. Enough of one to gather together like this in their own little Con. Sam took a long pull off his beer and tried to ignore the duo walking past that was dressed up like him and his brother.

The reminder of his brother had Sam wincing a little. So far he and Dean had pretty much managed to avoid one another in here. At first, caught up in the sheer what-the-fuck factor of this whole insanity, they’d shared more than one stupefied look. And when they’d gone into the main room and Chuck had given his speech in front of the crowd, when he’d announced that they were once more going to be _publishing_ , well, neither brother had been all that happy about it, and they’d made damn sure to let Chuck know afterwards.

But now Sam was sitting at the bar of this stupid hotel while a whole convention of people went around dressed up like him, his brother, and countless other people in their lives—seriously? Did that guy over there _really_ have yellow contacts in?—and they went around _LARPing_ , playing to be Hunters trying to catch some ghost. Sam had no idea why he was still here. It certainly wasn’t for the convention. Chuck didn’t need him here liked he’d thought, and Becky was more a reason to _leave_ than to _stay_. It wasn’t like his brother wanted him here, either. Sam could see him further down the bar trying to put his moves on some girl dressed up as a dead chick. There was nothing keeping Sam here. So why had he stayed? He’d even been out at the car earlier, having checked on Dog briefly. The terrier had been perfectly content in his nest, happy for a bit of love and the food that Sam set out for him but otherwise seemingly fine to just curl up and go back to sleep in the backseat again.

He’d been right there, at his car. So why hadn’t he just gotten in and left? Why stay here and, and _torture_ himself this way?

His eyes kept sliding down the bar and Sam knew why he was here even if he didn’t want to admit it to himself. One of the things his time with Loki seemed to be doing for him was teaching him an amazing sense of self awareness. Then again, it was hard not to notice things about yourself when you spent all your time traveling with someone who never had any hesitation in pointing things out to you, good or bad.

Thinking of Loki had him wanting to sigh. All of this would be so much more entertaining with the trickster at his side. He could just imagine the sheer joy on his friend’s face if he were here. Really, if Chuck hadn’t explained that this whole thing had been engineered by him, his new publisher, and a whole lot of Becky, the hunter might’ve wondered if Loki had been the one to set this up. This was just the kind of thing he liked to do.

All of a sudden, as if thinking about him had somehow summoned him, Sam heard a very familiar voice call out to him.

“Samshine!”

There was no mistaking _that_ voice. Sam looked up automatically, eagerly, and it took only seconds to spot Loki in the crowd. When he did, he almost choked on the drink he’d been nursing. Loki was practically skipping towards him, and he was wearing a t-shirt that was printed with an image of one of those red and white tags people wore and wrote their names on that usually had a ‘Hello, my name is’ on them, only this one said “Helloooooooooooo” on the red part and “Trickster” scrawled messily on the white. Sam’s expression was a clear ‘are you serious?’ as he looked back up at the grinning trickster. “Are you kidding me?” He asked, gesturing to Loki’s shirt. “Seriously?”

“Don’t worry, I got one for you too!” Loki said excitedly. He grinned broadly and thrust a bag out in front of his face.

Sam carefully opened up the bag and peered down inside. When finally pulled the shirt out and read it, he sighed out a breath and shot Loki one hell of a bitchface. The shirt had a too familiar green spiral in the center and read ‘Every Day’s Tuesday at the Mystery Spot’. “I am not wearing this.”

The grin should’ve warned him. Really, he should’ve known better than to say anything like that where Loki might be able to take it as a challenge. Before Sam could even form his protest, Loki gave a small snap and Sam found the shirt he’d been wearing now in his hand and he was wearing the shirt he’d been holding. A quick look around showed that, luckily, no one seemed to have seen that. His jacket must’ve hidden it all. Still, he glared at Loki. “Someone could’ve seen you!” he hissed.

“Pfft, I know how to be discreet.”

Sam shot him a skeptical look and Loki laughed unrepentantly. “Okay, okay, I don’t usually do it, but I do know how!”

There was no chance for Sam to argue that. A low, furious voice interrupted them. “What the hell are you doing here?” Dean growled out, marching right up to stand beside the two of them.

The trickster looked over at Dean and his expression visibly cooled. “Oh, I’m sorry Deano, were you feeling left out?” With a sneer, he snapped again. This time it was Dean’s shirt that changed, replaced with a dark blue shirt with white letters that said ‘I’m with Idjit’ and a white arrow pointing upwards. His sneer turned to a proud smirk as Dean started cursing at him. “Perfect!”

“Listen here, you little son of a bitch…” Dean snarled out, hand reaching for the inside of his coat where Sam knew he kept at least a knife and who knew what else. It wasn’t likely that he had a stake in there—not that a stake would do anything—but Sam wasn’t going to take any chances. Quickly, Sam reached out, catching hold of Loki’s arm and giving a firm _yank_ , tugging him over to Sam’s other side. It put him firmly between the two of them. Then he turned himself a little towards Dean and shot him a warning glare. “Back off, Dean.”

His actions stunned his brother. For a moment Dean just stared at him, frozen. Hurt flashed quickly in his eyes only to be smothered by anger and an all too familiar sneer. “You’re defending him? Against _me_? Good to know where I stand I guess.”

“Don’t be stupid.” Sam snapped, the sharpness of his voice surprising both his brother and the trickster. Sam cast an obvious look at the civilians milling around and then brought his eyes back to Dean’s face. “We’re in a room full of witnesses. Whatever you were planning on doing, do you really want to do it in here, in front of everyone?”

“Cute as this all is, and really, it’s adorable.” Loki cut in, slinging an arm around Sam’s shoulders and leaning around him. Even with Sam seated on the bar stool, he was still quite a bit taller than Loki, so it was more like the trickster had his wrist resting on Sam’s shoulder, not his arm. He didn’t let it deter him, though. He just leaned forward and flashed a grin at both brothers like there wasn’t any kind of tension between them. “I thought you chuckleheads might wanna know that your convention seems to have the same luck you two do.”

Dean just glared at him, but Sam turned himself so that he could look down at Loki’s upturned face. “What do you mean?”

“You boys got a couple ghosts here. _Real_ ones.”

“Ghosts—as in, plural?”

“Yep.” Loki let his mouth pop at the end there. Reaching up with his free hand, he patted against Sam’s chest. “Only you, Samshine.” Totally ignoring Dean for the moment, he pulled his hand back and jerked his thumb off towards the right. “Graveyard’s back that way. There’s a couple boys and another, a woman that’s keeping them in check. Or, she was. Not working so well now. The boys are getting antsy with all these people here an they’re gonna come out and play whether she likes it or not. You get rid of the boys, she’ll probably move on on her own.”

“Can’t you just take care of em?” Dean asked him snidely. There was so obviously no love lost between these two. They seemed incapable of any form of polite conversation. Sam couldn’t remember anyone who had ever set his brother on edge so easily. Was it just because it was Loki, a trickster, or was it because he was here with Sam and pretty much everything Sam did seemed to piss his brother off?

Loki’s hand slid a little on Sam’s shoulder so that he could grip it and give a soft, reassuring squeeze. He kept his eyes on Dean, though, his grin never fading. “Deano, for shame! I thought you were all against any supernatural help? Or is it just your brother that has to follow that rule? Doesn’t seem all that fair to me.”

It took a lot of control for Sam to keep from dropping his head down and groaning. He watched his brother’s eyes snap bright with a temper that was just barely contained. Dean took a deep breath and his face hardened. “I’m gonna go get the shovels.” He hesitated only a second before he turned his glare to Sam. “Meet me out back. Since your little friend won’t help, let’s get this done so I can get the hell outta here.”

As the older Winchester stormed away, the younger let out a sigh. He turned himself to better face Loki and gave him the same look he’d always given Dean when he was frustrated with his brother acting like an idiot. “Do you have to piss him off?”

“Yes.” Loki answered seriously. “Yes I do.”

Sam blew out a breath. Of course he did. He was Loki; pissing people off was a special skill of his and was as natural as breathing. “Do you think you could at least do it when I’m not stuck in the middle and forced to play mediator? My brother dislikes me enough as it is.”

He was surprised when Loki’s expression softened into something warm. The hand that had been on Sam’s shoulder moved up and cupped his cheek instead, thumb tracing over his cheekbone. “I’ll try not to provoke him when you’re in the middle. But I’m not going to stand by and do nothing if he acts like a dick, and I’m not gonna keep my mouth shut if he starts treating you like crap.”

“He’s got every right to be pissed off.” Sam felt compelled to remind him. They both knew the things that Sam had done, how many people he’d hurt and just how badly he’d betrayed his brother, over and over again. It was no wonder Dean was pissed. Sam knew he was lucky that Dean hadn’t done anything worse. Sam couldn’t deny that he deserved it. He deserved anything that Dean threw his way. There was nothing that he could do to make up for the things he’d done.

Loki shook his head. Then he surprised Sam by moving around until he was right in front of him. He kept his hand on Sam’s cheek as he stepped close, pushing his way between Sam’s legs until he was right up against him, just barely a half inch of space between them. Sam’s breath caught in his throat and his whole body froze. His heart beat a little faster as Loki’s eyes caught his and he once more got a glimpse of the absolute power in the god in front of him. Loki’s smirk changed into something different, something warmer and yet sharper, comforting and dangerous all at the same time. The hand on Sam’s cheek slid back, threading into his hair, and Sam knew what was coming and braced himself even as those fingers clenched in tight and got a good fistful of hair. That grip was used to yank him down until they were nose to nose, eye to eye, their breath mingling between them. “Don’t forget just who you belong to, Sam Winchester. Your brother can be as pissed as he wants, but remember, you’re _mine_ , and I look out for what’s mine.”

There was no way that Sam could deny that a part of him shivered happily at the dark promise in Loki’s voice and the possessiveness that was radiating from him. It was the same part of him that had been drawn to the power that the demon blood gave him, to the darkness that had been inside Ruby. It was the part that craved someone strong enough, someone indestructible enough that he couldn’t break them, couldn’t destroy them by bringing them into this life. That part of him was the broken part, the one that he didn’t know if he could trust. The other part of him, the part that sounded so much like Dean inside his head, growled at him that he didn’t belong to anybody, was _no one’s_ property.

A puff of sweet scented breath ghosted over Sam’s lips as Loki chuckled. “What a temptation you are.” He murmured, leaning in just a little more so that Sam could feel the heat that poured off the smaller man, like being right up against a fire. His heart beat like drums in his ears yet it didn’t block out the low sound of Loki’s voice. “All that fire, all that passion, just _begging_ to be taken in hand. Oh, the fun I could have with you. You’d fight me, wouldn’t you? You’re not the type to just lie there and take it. You’d fight back; hold your own, even. I like that.” He drew Sam in until their lips were brushing feather light against one another. “It makes it so much sweeter when you finally surrender.”

Sam’s shiver turned into a full body shudder. His hands had come up without him realizing it and were gripping tightly to the bottom of Loki’s jacket like it was his only anchor. He almost felt like it. Like he would just sink down if it weren’t for his grip to Loki’s jacket and the hand fisted tightly in his hair.

Smirking, Loki drew back, giving one last light tug to Sam’s hair before loosening his fist and smoothing the strands back into something resembling normal. Then he drew himself back and Sam was forced to let go of him. “C’mon, big boy.” Loki said, winking at him. “Your bro’s got his stuff and he’s on his way to the graveyard. Don’t wanna miss out on the fun grave digging.”

* * *

‘Fun’ wasn’t exactly what Sam would label this. Under Loki’s direction, they found the necessary graves and Sam and Dean immediately set to digging them up. Sam, well used to Loki’s version of help on a hunt, didn’t bother whining to the god perched up on the headstone. Dean, however, grumbled almost constantly in a way that was familiar to Sam from many hunts over the years. Dean always grumbled about grave digging and he grumbled the most when he was already irritated about something else. Far from bothering Sam, it made him ache a little, and it made him long for a feeling of home that he realized hadn’t been there for longer than he’d realized. His recent mistakes with Ruby hadn’t been the loss of it. It had been lost the instant that he’d found out about Dean’s deal. When he’d discovered that the person he’d cared about most, the only family he’d had left, was going to go to hell for him. That had been when Sam had first lost that sensation of ‘home’ that had always been wherever his brother was. Everything had gone downhill after that. And now…now he was afraid there was no getting it back. Not after the things he’d done. Not now that he knew what Dean really thought of him.

Their digging was only interrupted once, by the sound of Loki snapping. Sam didn’t flinch over it; he just kept digging. Dean, however, immediately looked up, hands tightening on his shovel handle like he was ready to use it as a weapon, eyes darting all around him.

“Relax, Chuckles.” Loki called out from his perch. “Just keeping things safe. You two might wanna hurry, though. Things are getting a bit restless inside.”

Sam started digging faster. Dean did the same, but he glared over at Loki as well. “You know, all you’d have to do is snap your fingers and we could be done.”

The edges of Loki’s smirk turned a bit sharp. “And ruin the bro-bonding? Pffft.”

Shaking his head, Sam put his back into it and hurried to finish the last of his digging. They needed to get this done before Dean decided to try and take Loki out.

Five minutes later the brothers stood watching as flames engulfed the bones they’d uncovered.

Loki clapped his hands and sat up a little straighter on the tombstone. “Well, that’s that!” He called out. Looking past Dean, he fixed his eyes on Sam. “You two have fun with your bonfire, Sammich. I’m gonna go hunt down dinner. Come find me when you’re done.” And with that he snapped himself away. Sam looked at where he’d been and shook his head. Loki was granting them a bit of privacy, something he knew Sam wanted, while at the same time making it clear that his weird rules about Sam’s mealtimes was still in effect.

“Bossy little shit, isn’t he?”

Looking back at his brother, he found Dean staring at the flames, deliberately not looking at him. So apparently he wasn’t going to get the silent treatment anymore now that Loki was gone. Okay. Sam braced himself for the conversation that was coming. He purposely kept his tone as light as he could manage it. “He has a strange thing about making me eat. He’s pushier about it than you are, sometimes.” Dean had always been pushy about Sam’s eating habits. He just knew surprisingly subtle ways to go about it on occasion. Sometimes he’d simply glare at Sam and order him to eat something. Other times, he’d go out of his way to pick up something he knew Sam liked in an effort to entice him into eating. Though he’d never admit that was what he was doing. He always had some story ready, some food that he wanted personally. Anything to cover up the fact that he’d been worrying about his baby brother.

Dean snorted and stuffed his hands down into his coat pockets. “Yeah, well, you’ve always been a bitch about eating properly. I guess I should be grateful _someone’s_ making you eat.”

“He takes care of me, in his own way.” Chewing on his lip, Sam snuck a look at his brother’s profile. “He’s not hurting me, Dean. He’s actually…he’s helping.”

“You said the same thing about Ruby.”

That had Sam flinching. He turned back to stare at the flames, trying to swallow back the bitter words that wanted to spew forth. “It’s not the same.” It wasn’t. Loki was nothing like Ruby. He wasn’t using Sam. He wants trying to hurt him. He wasn’t!

“How do you know that, Sam?” Dean finally turned, and Sam wished that he hadn’t. Hard green eyes bore into him and he couldn’t bring himself to turn to look at them. “Really, Sam, how the hell can you stand there and say he’s not playing you? This could be some great big trick and you wouldn’t even know it. Hell, you thought _Ruby_ was helping, and she was a freaking demon! So how can I trust your judgment on him, huh?”

A bit of bitterness welled up in Sam and he couldn’t stop it from spewing forth. “I guess us monsters just have to stick together, right?”

From the corner of his eye he saw Dean actually flinch back from that. That had Sam wincing and immediately feeling guilty. He opened his mouth, trying to think of the words to fix this, some way to take those words back, only to have Dean beat him to the punch. “I shouldn’t have said that.” His words had Sam turning towards him in surprise. Catching his gaze, Dean grimaced, obviously uncomfortable and yet determined. “Not about you, and not about the kid, either. I wasn’t going to let Cas do anything to him.”

“I know.” He did know that. At the time, he’d been more worried about Dean’s words than his actions. He knew his brother and he knew that there was no way Dean would’ve hurt a kid.

Quiet fell over them once more. The air was charged with all the words that neither one of them could seem to find a way to say. There was so much that stood between them and Sam hated it. He hated this distance between him and the person he’d always been able to count on. The one person he’d always figured would have his back. Yet here they stood, on opposite sides of this fight yet again, and it hurt. It hurt a lot.

“Sam…” Dean paused, shuffling a little as he turned to stare at the fire, not quite able to look at his brother. “I’m sorry I pushed you away, when you called.”

“You were right to.” Sam said softly.

“No, I wasn’t. I should’ve been there. I tried looking for you, y’know. After that night? I tried to find you, but it was like you dropped off the map.”

Sam stared into the flames and watched as they danced. Fire had been the catalyst of so much in his life. It had played such a large part of his life in so many different ways. It had always terrified and fascinated him in equal measure. “I didn’t want you to find me. You were right when you said we should be apart. It’s safer this way.”

“How is this safer?”

“You can work on stopping Michael, on keeping people safe, and you’ve got Cas there to help you.” Sam’s lips curled in a rueful grin. “He’s better help than I could ever be. At least you know you can trust him. And Loki and I, we can work on our side of things, on trying to stop Lucifer.” He didn’t mention the plans they were building. Somehow, it felt, not quite right to say anything. Maybe because he knew Dean wasn’t going to approve of any plan that Loki came up with no matter what it was.

He heard Dean shift beside him but didn’t bother looking over. The older Winchester blew out a low breath. “I was wrong, all right? You and I, we gotta do this thing together. We…we keep each other human.”

That was the wrong choice of words. Sam flinched almost violently and his whole body hardened. “I’m not human.” Those words were a simple truth to him. He wasn’t human. He hadn’t been human since he was six months old. “Just leave it, Dean. It’s better this way. You and Cas do your thing, and Loki and I will do ours.”

“So that’s it, huh?” Dean demanded furiously, his patience gone. “You’re gonna choose another _creature_ over your brother? Cause we both know that went so well last time.”

“This is different!” Sam snapped.

“Like hell it is! Sam, I’m trying to _save you_ here!”

Sam let out a bitter laugh. He didn’t have the heart to tell him it was too late.

“Sam, listen to me. You gotta understand. That night, after our phone call, I got a visit from Zachariah.”

Dean’s words filled the night air as he told Sam all about the wasteland that he’d woken up in, a world completely consumed by Croats. A world where Sam had said yes. He told about going after the Colt, about his future-self taking that Colt to try and take down Lucifer—and he spoke of Lucifer, wearing Sam, as he snapped future-Dean’s neck. By the time he was done, Sam was a statue at his side, frozen straight through. He swore he could actually feel it as his insides froze over. _So that’s why he wants me to come back._ It made sense now, in a sharp, painful way. The little bit of hope that Sam had been fostering froze and died away. “It makes sense now.”

“What?” Dean asked. He sounded confused. Obviously, that hadn’t been the reaction that he’d been expecting.

He couldn’t bring himself to look at his big brother. Closing his eyes, he tried to steady himself. Through his closed lids he could still see the faint flicker of the flames but he couldn’t feel the warmth of them any longer. “You don’t want me to come back so we can work together, or because you missed me, or any of that. You want me to come back because you don’t trust me. Because you think it’s the only way to keep me from saying Yes.” It hurt. _God_ , did it hurt. Dean didn’t want him around because he wanted them to be back together. He wanted Sam to come back so he could babysit him. Because he didn’t trust the junkie, the freak, out on his own.

“Sam…”

“I won’t.” Sam cut in. “I won’t do it. I won’t say Yes, and I won’t come back just to be put under lock and key. I won’t live underneath a microscope with you watching and waiting for me to go dark side again.” Before Dean could say anything else, before he could make this any worse, Sam called out to Loki, hoping that the trickster had been telling the truth when he’d told Sam he was always listening. “Loki, get me out of here, please? Now.”

A snap echoed through the air and Sam found himself sitting in the passenger’s seat of his car. He didn’t have to look over to know that Loki was in the driver’s seat. He was grateful when Loki said nothing. Sam curved himself towards the door and curled up as best as the car would allow. His arms wrapped around his waist and his face pressed against the glass. The cold didn’t even register with him.

One of Loki’s hands settled on Sam’s thigh. A silent, comforting presence. He left it there as he turned the car on and silently got them out of there.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is essentially the smut chapter. No serious plot or anything like that in this one. Just to warn those of you that don't like that part of things!

Sam didn’t say anything until they’d stopped for the night and checked into a motel. He didn’t really have to do anything, so he didn’t feel the need to say anything. Loki drove them and he even checked them in once he found a place for the night. So far he hadn’t intruded at all on any of Sam’s thoughts despite the spiral of guilt and regret and pain they were in. Either he wasn’t listening, which Sam doubted, or he knew that saying anything at the time wasn’t going to make a difference.

When Loki came back with the keys, he actually came around to Sam’s side of the car and opened his door, reaching in to help draw him up and out. “Here, get in there.” He said, handing Sam a key. Then he pushed him in the direction of the door. “It’s 37. Go on, go sit down.”

Odd as Loki’s behavior was, Sam wasn’t going to question it. He just headed off towards the motel room with Dog trotting along beside him. Sam thought absently that Loki must do something to the places that they stayed at because never once had anyone ever protested Dog’s presence or complained about his barking or asked for any kind of pet deposit. Not that Sam was complaining. He enjoyed Dog’s presence and it was strange to picture him not being there. The hunter had grown attached to the little dog. He’d always wanted one of his own anyways. Having Loki’s dog around was just as good.

Sam unlocked the door to their room and waited for Dog to bound in before following him. Right on their heels was Loki. Their bags were already inside the room; he assumed the trickster had snapped them in.

When Sam dropped down onto the edge of the room’s only bed, he wasn’t expecting Loki to drop down beside him. They sat side by side, feet on the floor, knees and arms brushing against one another. Dog jumped up to lay down on Sam’s other side near the pillows. For a few minutes they just sat there. Sam rested his arms on his thighs, hands dangling between his legs, and he bowed his head.

After so much silence, he was kind of surprised when Loki finally spoke. “As much as I hate saying this…” His expression backed that up, giving him the look of having bitten into something rotten. “…you should cut your brother some slack.”

“What?” Sam looked up at him with surprise. That was the very _last_ thing he’d expected to hear from Loki, considering how the trickster felt about his brother.

Loki wrinkled up his nose. “Ugh. Don’t make me repeat it, Sammy. It was hard enough to say the first time.” He looked over and saw Sam’s confused face and let out a gusty sigh. “You weren’t the only one groomed for your role, kiddo. He’s been pushed into his spot just as much as you have. Just, keep that in mind, that’s all I’m saying. You’re not the only one they’ve manipulated.”

“Like that future Zachariah sent him into?”

The noise Loki made at that was somewhere between disbelief and derision and it proved that, yes, Loki had listened to everything. “That was the stupidest crock of shit I’ve ever heard of. It’s like he doesn’t even pay any attention to you boys! If he seriously thought that little mind game was going to push Deano into saying Yes, he can’t have been paying attention to you two at all. That was basically the quickest way to get your brother to go running to find you.” His lip curled up and he shook his head. “I can’t stand a poorly done trick. There’s no excuse for not doing your homework.”

Sam muffled a snort of his own at just how disgusted Loki sounded. Leave it to the trickster to be more upset at the poorly executed trick than anything else. Sighing, the younger Winchester flopped back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He smiled a little as Dog immediately moved over to snuggle up against his side. Scratching at Dog’s ears, he stared up, thinking about Loki’s words, about Dean’s. He couldn’t imagine having gone through what Zachariah had put Dean through. “You know, I figured it’d be Lucifer we’d have to worry about pulling out the dirty tricks, but I think we’ve had the most crap from the good side. Zachariah has some, interesting persuasion methods.”

Dropping down beside Sam, Loki turned so that he was on his side, his head propped up on his hand. “Oh?”

“To try and convince Dean to say yes, Zachariah broke my legs, removed my lungs, gave Dean stage four stomach cancer, and paralyzed Bobby for life. The only thing that saved us was Cas showing up and threatening him. He got Zach to fix Dean and I before he left, but Bobby, well…”

“There are so many things wrong with that I can’t pick just one.” Loki said, and he looked furious. Absolutely livid. “He…he _paralyzed_ your friend?”

“Bobby had been possessed by a demon and he managed to yank back control and use Ruby’s knife to stab himself. It was, um, pretty touch and go. Zachariah said if Dean said yes, they’d heal him. If he said no, Bobby would never walk again. You know what answer Dean gave.” Sighing, Sam closed his eyes, feeling just so damn tired. No matter how much sleep he got, he always seemed to feel so tired, beat down from this weight that he carried with him everywhere. “You know, I used to pray all the time. The first time I met angels, I was so damn excited. Here was proof they were real. Real, right there in front of me. I made an idiot of myself.” He remembered how excited he’d been, practically quivering, stammering over his words. Looking back on it now, he let out a mirthless chuckle. “Cas almost didn’t even shake my hand. ‘Sam Winchester, the boy with the demon blood’. That was what he called me. It was all he saw.”

With his eyes closed, he missed Loki’s wince. The trickster’s tone, though, was low and mocking, with a derisive edge to it. “Those dicks see in black and white, kiddo, with no room for any shades of gray.”

“I was so jealous.” It didn’t seem so bad to admit that here, with Loki. Most things didn’t seem bad to admit t Loki. Maybe it came from knowing that the god probably had already seen the thoughts in his mind. Or that Loki had probably seen, done, and thought worse in his time. He’d stuck around with Sam so far, despite his depression, despite his attempted suicide, and despite everything he’d done. If drinking down demon blood and setting Lucifer free hadn’t been enough to scare him away, what was a little thing like some petty jealousy?

“What, you wanted your own Heavenly Douchebag?”

A low laugh tumbled from Sam. “No.” Immediately he corrected himself. “Yes. Maybe.”

“Well that was decisive.”

Sam opened his eyes and gave his friend an amused look. Then he tipped his head back again and stared up at the ceiling. “I don’t really want my own angel. I guess I just…I don’t know. Growing up, I was the one who was religious. I was the one who believed. I prayed.”

“And Dean didn’t.” Loki filled in.

“The angels look at me like I’m worse than dirt on their shoes. I just,” Sam blew out a frustrated breath. He was beating around the simple statement at the base of this all. “I know I’ve done some bad stuff, _really_ bad stuff, but why am I the only person not worthy of finding redemption?” Bringing a hand up, he wiped it over his face. This was delving into things that he didn’t even like admitting to himself. What had possessed him to admit it out loud to Loki? He should be ashamed of himself. He knew what he’d done and he knew the trouble he’d caused. How could he sit here and question things? Dean deserved his redemption, there was no denying that. Sam just had to come to terms with the fact that _he_ didn’t. All he could do was follow these plans that he and Loki were building and try and do some damage control on a mess that he’d created. But he needed to stop taunting himself with any kind of hope that he might be able to redeem himself. He was the boy with the demon blood, the one that set Lucifer free—the abomination. That was all he’d ever be.

In a move that Sam hadn’t expected, the trickster launched forward and Sam found himself pinned down to the bed with the solid weight of Loki’s body straddling his waist and pinning him in place. Loki’s hand fisted in the front of his shirt and yanked him up some even as the trickster bowed down until he was forced to stare eye-to-eye with a pair of furious golden orbs. “I’ve had just about enough of listening to that _._ Every time I think I get you past this stupid suicidal bullshit you’ve got going on, you have go and say something so damn _stupid_.” The words were a low, furious snarl. “What’s it gonna take to make you want to live, huh? What’s it gonna take to convince you that you’ve got people who give a damn whether or not you come out of this?”

There was so much emotion in Loki’s eyes. It stole Sam’s voice away so that all he could manage was a low, hoarsely whispered “Loki”

“Damn you.” Loki cursed him. His grip tightened in Sam’s shirt until they could both hear the seams starting to pop. “ _Damn you._ ” With that last snarl, he yanked Sam in and slammed their lips together in a kiss that bordered on violent.

When Sam had thought about it, he’d always figured that Loki would taste sweet, like all the candy he was constantly eating. And he was right, there was sweetness there, a hint of honey amidst a storm of rain and lightning and something different, something he didn’t even have the words for. He’d never tasted anything like it. The kiss was overwhelming. A harsh, biting thing, the sharp prick of his teeth in Sam’s bottom lip, the insistent swipe of his tongue not asking but _demanding_ entrance, and Sam was lost in it, gave himself over to it willingly, with everything he had. They’d been building to this for a while now. He’d had his time to think and wonder and wait.

But that didn’t mean he was going to make it easy. It wasn’t in him to just easily capitulate. He brought his hands up and gripped Loki’s hips tight enough to bruise as he poured himself up into the kiss, turning it into a battle for dominance that he knew he had absolutely no hope in winning. That didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy trying. One thing he’d learned with Ruby, and it was apparent now that he couldn’t blame her or the demon blood for it, was the thrill of the fight during sex. That spark of excitement at pushing against something you knew was bigger and stronger. As a big guy, he didn’t get that sensation pretty much ever. He’d always been the bigger one, the one in control, the one who took the lead. That wasn’t happening with Loki. Sam tried, gripping tight to his hips and trying to push up into him, mouth demanding on the trickster’s, and the snarl it earned him sent a shiver down his spine. Teeth sank down into his bottom lip, hard again, this time drawing a hint of blood, and there was no telling who was the one who moaned at that.

Sam heard a snap and he suddenly found himself his hands were no longer on Loki’s hips but were held by something invisible and solid above his head.

The hand that had been fisted in his shirt now flattened out and pressed against his chest, pressing him down into the bed. Loki pulled back to stare down at him and Sam sucked in a breath at the molten look in those golden orbs. They were hot and bright with power and lust and other things that Sam couldn’t place. The furious looking god bent down until their faces were just inches apart and Sam wasn’t ashamed to admit to the small whimper that slipped free when Loki growled lowly at him. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that you’re _mine_ , Winchester. I told you that you were mine until the day you said Yes to Lucifer, didn’t I?”

Sam apparently didn’t answer him fast enough. The hand on his chest slid up, over his throat, and it pressed there with just a light threatening pressure that he knew could change in a flash, could easily turn into a pressure that could snap his neck without Loki ever even breaking a sweat. “ _Didn’t I?_ ”

That shouldn’t have been as thrilling as it was and yet Sam’s cock gave a hard twitch. Breath shuddered out of him on a moan. “Yes!”

“And are you going to say Yes to him?”

The hand on his neck pressed ever so slightly and Sam moaned again, hips jerking up. “ _No_.”

“Good boy.” Loki said lowly. Then he closed that last bit of distance and slammed his mouth against Sam’s and _ravaged_ him. There was no fighting back this time, no battle to see who was in control. They both knew who was controlling this tonight. All Sam could do was surrender underneath that burning touch and it was oh, so sweet in ways that nothing ever had before. He opened his mouth under Loki’s kiss and arched his body up into the solid one over him. Held down by strength and power he had no chance in fighting, he gave himself over into the hands of yet another being that he absolutely shouldn’t trust and yet trusted more than he ever had anyone. He trusted Loki to break him apart, and to put him back together again afterwards.

Loki felt his surrender, the way his body went pliant to his touch, and it wrung a deep, satisfied moan from him. He broke from their kiss to pull back and look down at Sam’s face with a heated stare. “Look at you. All that fire, that passion, and it’s all mine.” Pulling back, he sat up over Sam’s hips, the weight of him and that pressure _right there_ making Sam moan once more, his hips jerking to try and get him to move, to give him what his body was craving. But Loki didn’t move. He just sat there staring down and watching with a possessive light as Sam twisted and writhed underneath him. That trademark smirk of his grew and Sam knew he was going to do something. Sure enough, the trickster lifted a hand and his smirk was wide as he snapped away their clothes.

The shock of skin against skin made Sam gasp. “ _Loki_!” He bucked up, hips rolling. Loki was immovable, hips firmly holding Sam’s in place, and his gaze was a heady thing. It left Sam feeling open and exposed and yet admired. The way Loki’s gaze ran over him was openly possessive and full of a heat that was searing in its intensity. He was gorgeous. He wasn’t built solidly like Sam was, but his clothes had definitely hidden a body that was in better shape than Sam had expected, muscle covered with just this slight hint of softness that he knew would be deceiving. Sam wanted his hands free to be able to run over that skin, to feel every inch, every dip and curve and dimple, to chase down those spots that would make him gasp or arch or moan. He wanted to find them all with fingers and teeth and tongue.

Loki made an approving sound. “Another time, handsome.”

Oh, God, he’d forgotten for a moment about the mind reading. The implications of having a lover who could pluck his thoughts right out of his head, thoughts he didn’t even know he was having sometimes, made him shiver. “Loki, _please_.” He needed the trickster to touch him. Needed something more than this maddening teasing right now. “Please!”

“You beg so prettily.” Leaning forward, Loki pressed his hands into the bed on either side of Sam’s head, and his hips gave a small roll that took all the blood out of Sam’s head and sent it south. He moaned loudly and strained up against the invisible bonds that held his hands in place. Loki chuckled darkly as he latched his mouth onto the side of Sam’s throat in a biting kiss. “You’re the prettiest sacrifice I’ve had in a long time. And you’re all _mine_.” He punctuated the ‘mine’ with a bite right against the joint where neck met shoulder and Sam’s hips jerked up, _hard_.

There was no room left for words after that. No room left for anything. Sam lost himself to the firm hands that roamed over his skin, the mouth that licked and bit across his chest, and the hips that never stopped their movement. Bit by bit, he fell apart under Loki’s touch, reduced to nothing more than this moaning, pleading thing, desperate for _more_. And when he got it, when Loki’s spit slick hand slid between them to wrap around their cocks, Sam was almost sobbing from it. “Loki, Loki, please. Please!”

“That’s it, handsome.” Loki growled against his neck. “C’mon, that’s it. Let go for me. Let go, Sammy.”

What else could Sam do? His nerves were exploding, his body on fire, and it was _too much_ and _just right_ and when Loki twisted his wrist on the upstroke at the same time that he bit down on Sam’s clavicle, _hard_ , it was the push he needed to send him flying over the edge with a cry that was probably heard rooms away. Loki groaned right along with him and Sam felt him give one last snap of his hips before he too was emptying himself between them.

Loki’s solid weight collapsed on top of him and Sam grunted lightly from it. He didn’t complain, though. He mumbled happily when the pressure on his arms released and he was free to bring them down. Immediately, he wrapped them around Loki’s body, holding him even closer. It made the trickster chuckle weakly against his chest.

A snap cleaned away the mess between them and moved them to lying down properly on the bed. One of Loki’s hands pulled the blankets up over them and then he was snuggling in against Sam’s chest once more, draped over him like he was a blanket as well. Sam’s brain tried to stir to life, telling him that maybe this was something they should talk about, but then Loki’s hand patted against his chest and teeth nipped him lightly. “Angst later. Sleep now.”

Hm. That was advice Sam could get behind. Pushing back any thinking until later, he pulled Loki in a little closer, their legs tangling together, and drifted off to the first dreamless, peaceful sleep he’d had in far, far too long.

* * *

Sam woke slowly, something that he hadn’t been able to do for a while now. The warm grip of sleep was slow to release him and he didn’t feel any need to hurry it along. He was stretched out on his stomach and there was a warm weight lying draped over his back that was pleasantly comfortable. Soft lips pressed against his spine and he froze briefly as his mind woke up enough to remember just who that weight was and how they’d ended up here. There was a second where he lay there, hovering between staying where he was or getting up and starting to panic, and then Loki’s voice came, sleep rough and muffled against his back. “Are you gonna be your usual angsty, emo self about this? Cause if you are, I’m gonna go get some breakfast, and you can just find me when you’re done.”

The tension that had started to build in Sam broke at that and he let out a low, startled laugh. “Shut up.” Snuggling down into the bed, he buried his face against his pillow, hiding his smile. “’m sleeping.”

Loki huffed a laugh against Sam’s spine that sent shivers down his skin. “Lazy.”

“Says the expert.”

A hand cracked down on Sam’s ass, making Sam jump slightly and reminding him that they were both naked. Loki mock growled at him. “Insolent mortal.”

Snickering, Sam pulled his pillow closer and pretended to settle in like he was going back to sleep. He felt relaxed and loose-limbed and he wasn’t eager to get up and lose that sensation. Despite the worries that lingered at the edges of his mind, he wanted to just lay here and enjoy this. Good things like this never lasted for him and he wanted to hold on to it while he could. Who knew when it would get ripped away from him?

“I’m a bit sturdier than your average fare, Samshine.”

Sam hummed lightly. “So was Ruby.”

This time the smack to his ass wasn’t playful. He turned around to glare, only to find sharp golden eyes glaring at him. “Compare me to that hell bitch again, I dare you.” Loki warned him in a voice gone low and dangerous.

Sam wasn’t afraid of a little danger. He couldn’t be in this line of work if he was. But there was facing down danger, and there was stupidity, and no one could claim that Sam was a stupid man. Deliberately he blanked his mind and gave Loki his best dimpled smile. The trickster glared at him a second longer before his eyes turned mischievous and he chuckled. “Brat.”

“You like it.” Sam said confidently. He dropped his head back down onto his pillow and smiled. He knew there was a challenge in is voice that Loki wouldn’t be able to resist.

The hand that was high on his back danced lightly down his spine and Sam gave another happy little hum as it trailed lower and lower. He shifted his weight underneath Loki and drew a leg up just slightly in obvious appeal for what he wanted. He swore he could _feel_ how pleased Loki was. “Shameless.” The trickster teased him.

Sam opened his mouth to respond, only to get cut off by the ringing of his cell phone. Loki’s hand froze just shy of where Sam really, really wanted it to be, and for a moment the hunter contemplated not answering his phone. Only for a moment, though. The only people who could be calling would be Jesse or Kayla. Either one was someone he couldn’t just ignore. With a groan, he pushed himself forward, stretching an arm out to where his phone sat on the nightstand where Loki must’ve put it, because the last Sam remembered it had been in his pants and those had been snapped away last night. Without rising from the bed, he answered the phone and brought it to his ear. “Hello?” The voice on the other end had him sighing and kissing goodbye the promise that had been in Loki’s touch. “No, Jesse, it’s fine, you didn’t wake me up. What’s up?”

A kiss was pressed between his shoulder blades and then Loki was climbing out of bed. Sam rolled over and watched as the trickster rose and stretched and he had to close his eyes against the sight or he was going to lose all track of his conversation. He heard Loki let out a pleased laugh and he mentally swore to get him back for that later. There was a smile on his lips, though, that wouldn’t fade away. Relaxing back into his pillow, Sam turned his focus to his conversation with Jesse, but he promised himself to return to those other thoughts at a later time.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this took me longer than I wanted, but that's because I erased and rewrote pretty much the whole chapter LoL. I've got it done now, but I'm still not sure about it, but my partner keeps telling me to shut up and post it, so here goes. I really hope this didn't end up sucking. Let me know what you think! And thanks so far for all your wonderful comments. They're great motivation :)

Life continued on over the next week much the same that it had before. If Sam had thought that sleeping with Loki would change things in any drastic way, he was proved wrong. Things went pretty much the same, only the previous sexual tension was replaced with actual sex. That was a pretty damn good change in Sam’s books. Sex with Loki was, different than anything of the young hunter’s past experiences. It was sometimes rough, occasionally possessive and demanding, but other times it was easy and playful and full of random laughter that wasn't ever mocking.

During the day, they still went about their business, each doing their own research. Loki was gone more often during the day, but that was because he took to staying with Sam at night. Sam considered it a fair trade off. Sometimes, he knew, Loki would vanish while he was asleep, but he was always back by the time Sam woke in the morning.

The nightly training with Sam’s powers was moved to the morning time now and was no longer confined to simply practicing. “In the field training” Loki called it. Basically, he found them random demons here and there for Sam to practice exorcising, or vampires that the hunter could use his other abilities on. They split their time between that and research.

They’d been on this new schedule for a little over a week when a part of Sam’s powers that hadn’t made a comeback finally decided to rear its head. He’d been hoping against everything that this part of things wouldn’t kick in. It hadn’t exactly been fun the last time around. But he was in the middle of following a trail on his laptop that he thought might lead him to Pestilence when he heard Dog bark, making him look up, and then he was suddenly hit by a vision.

There was no instant, skull-shattering migraine this time, just a slight warning throb at his temples before the vision sucked him down and under. There was no time to put into practice any of the theoretical suggestions that Loki had given him for working through his visions. It hit him too fast and he was lost under it.

When he came to, he found himself lying on the floor and something very warm and furry was pressed up against his chest and a tongue was lapping at his chin. He heard nothing to indicate Loki’s arrival but the trickster was there a second later, dropping down onto his knees at Sam’s side with a panicked “Sam?”

“We gotta go.” The words came out as a low gasp, laced with an ache from a headache that, thank God, wasn’t anything like his old migraines. Just a regular, run of the mill bad headache. He could handle that. What he couldn’t handle was what he’d just seen. Instead of wasting time saying what he’d seen, he looked up at Loki and deliberately replayed the vision in his mind, knowing that the trickster would be watching and would see. He’d see the demons as they caught Dean and Castiel, as Castiel was put into a ring of holy fire and Dean was strapped up where they would torture him, mark him up and rip him apart until there was nothing left for Michael to use, unless Michael offered the same protection to Dean that Lucifer had to Sam.

Loki sighed as the vision cleared from Sam’s mind. He looked almost…hesitant. Unsure. It was so startling to see on his usually confident face. It had Sam’s eyebrows furrowing, lines forming in his forehead as he looked up at him, confused and worried.

Wearing a soft smile that seemed just as strange, Loki reached out and ran his hand over Sam’s cheek, smoothing his hair back from his forehead and smoothing away his headache in the same gesture. “I guess it had to happen eventually.” He said, and wasn’t that just the most cryptic of things to say? Sam was opening his mouth to ask what Loki was talking about when suddenly his wrist was gripped and Loki was pulling them both up to their feet. His softer look was replaced with the usual mocking smirk and laughing eyes, only it seemed a little weak at the edges, just the slightest bit forced. “All right, Samshine. Let’s go play rescue.”

“You don’t have to come.” Sam blurted out, surprising Loki. “You could just, drop me off. I could call you when I’m ready to come back.”

Loki looked at him for a long moment without answering. Then he shook his head and his usual grin was back. “And miss seeing big bro all tied up and helpless? Pfft. I don’t think so. Don’t ruin my fun, Sammy.”

A snap of the fingers and they were gone.

* * *

This had to be the single most screwed up piece of crap. Dean bucked against the bonds that held his wrists and growled when they held tight. This shouldn’t have happened. He couldn’t _believe_ they’d fallen into a trap like this. He and Cas had gone to the warehouse thinking that it’d only be a few demons, simple enough for a hunter and an angel to take on. Somehow, a few demons had turned into at _least_ a dozen, and Dean had fought, but once they’d trapped Cas in a circle of holy oil, it took a pathetically small amount of time for them to knock Dean unconscious. He’d woken up tied up against this support beam with his wrists pinned up above his head.

The demon in front of him was grinning as she twirled a long blade. “Dean Winchester.” Humming happily, she paced in front of him, a smirk curving up her lips as she looked over at him. “This is an interesting . We set this trap hoping to draw in one brother, but instead we got the other one!”

Dean jerked against the rope and glared at the hell-bitch. Inside, he felt a moment of gratitude that at least they hadn’t gotten what they were here for. No matter the shit between them, he didn’t want to think about Sammy falling into the hands of these bastards without any kind of real backup. Sneering, he put on his best cocky expression. “Hate to disappoint you, honey.”

“Oh, don’t sell yourself short, _honey_.” She strolled over towards him and Dean went still as she lifted her blade and tapped the tip against his cheek. Leaning in, she got close, pressing down on the blade as she did so that the tip ended up pricking his skin, making just a bit of blood well up. “There’s a nice bounty on this pretty little head of yours.” Drawing the knife down, she slid it under his jaw and traced it along his neck, and he fought not to swallow against the sensation. “ _Just_ your head. The rest…” She trailed the knife lower until the tip was pressed against his heart. Her smirk grew. “Well, that’s mine to play with. What do you think I’ll get for taking out Michael’s vessel, hm? I mean, aside from the sheer _fun_ of it. ”

“Ugh.” A new voice groaned loudly. “Seriously? What is it with bad guys and your cheesy little speeches?”

“Really? You of all people are asking that?” Another voice said, and this one Dean recognized. He knew it without even having to look and a part of him automatically relaxed just the slightest bit with the knowledge that his brother was there.

Everyone spun with surprise towards the newcomers. “Who’re you?” The demon in front of Dean demanded. She moved just right and the older Winchester got a clear view to the center of the warehouse where his brother stood, knife in hand. But he wasn’t alone. Dean almost groaned when he saw who was standing casually at Sam’s side. The trickster stood there with his thumbs hooked into his pockets, rocking on his heels and smirking at them all. He looked up at Sam beside him, ignoring the demons for the moment, and his smirk grew a little more. “Hey, at least I saved my speeches for _after_ the torture. Best way to make sure the message sinks in. No one would learn anything if I explained it _before_ I did anything!”

“Point.” Sam said casually. His stance shifted to one that Dean knew—that Dean had _taught_ him—and his eyes scanned around the warehouse.

Shifting once more in the hopes of dislodging the rope at least a little bit, which wasn’t working _at all_ , Dean glared at his brother and his idiot companion. “You think you two can stop your bickering long enough to, oh, I don’t know—help?”

“Hold your horses, Deano.” Loki scolded him. “The monsters are talking right now.” Then he looked to the demon still standing by Dean and he lifted a finger and waggled it at her. “You see, this is why hunters keep kicking your ass—you don’t think. You stand there and rant at them and do your little evil monologue and it gives them time to find a way to get free, or for their really awesome backup to arrive.” With a wink, he snapped his fingers and all the demons vanished, and the rope around Dean vanished as well.

Dean immediately shifted into a defensive position, even though the demons were gone. He didn’t trust the trickster as far as he could throw him. Sam, however, proved his continuing stupidity by actually relaxing. Not just relaxing, but putting his knife away!

“Fun as this was.” Loki said. “We might wanna skedaddle, before anyone finds their way back here. Never know if they had any buddies waiting in the wings.”

The trickster lifted a hand like he was once more going to snap, only for Sam to reach out and catch hold of his wrist. He gave Loki a look that spoke volumes. It made Dean’s stomach clench to realize that these two had apparently been together enough that they could communicate without words. Because his brother was clearly giving a look meant to convey something, and just as clearly, Loki understood what it was. It was frustrating and painful in ways that Dean hadn’t expected to know that this creature knew his brother so well to actually decipher the looks that not even their father had ever been able to understand. It had always been Dean who’d understood the kid.

Then Sam’s look shifted and, _this_ , Dean understood. This look he knew. A low growl built in his throat and he took a step forward, bringing his brother’s eyes to him. “Don’t you dare.” He warned furiously, pointing a finger at him. “Don’t you dare let him snap you out of here, Sammy. You ran away last time before I got the chance to say anything else, but you’re not doing it again.”

Sam watched him with a look that flashed only briefly with pain before the blank mask slid into place that Sam had learned during Dean’s time in hell. The mask that the older Winchester hated so much. It was the one that cut off the boy he’d known before and replaced him with this man he didn’t know now. Without a word, Sam turned back to Loki, and the trickster watched him with an arched brow before he snorted and shook his head. “Sorry, kiddo.” Still staring at Sam, he snapped again.

The fire around Castiel vanished and the angel immediately strode over to put himself at Dean’s side. At least _he_ seemed appropriately worried about the trickster. Castiel was watching him with a hard look in his eyes and he was defensive, which, yeah, he totally should be, cause this trickster was one of the biggest dicks that Dean had ever met, and there was no telling when he’d decide to stop being so randomly helpful and start pranking them somehow, but at the same time—dude, he didn’t need a bodyguard. Dean stepped just a little to the side so that he and the angel were side by side instead of him sheltering Dean. To his annoyance, Castiel shifted with him.

Loki watched this all with amusement, while Sam watched with a blank expression. The younger Winchester let go of Loki’s wrist, though.

“Can I get us out of here, now?” Loki asked dryly.

Lifting an eyebrow, Sam gave him bitchface #17, the one that said ‘ _You’re such an idiot and I’m done with your shit’_. It didn’t do anything except make Loki laugh.

Dean didn’t have a chance to protest their travels. Just as he opened his mouth, and Castiel actually grabbed hold of Dean’s arm like he feared something was going to happen, Loki snapped.

* * *

Sam had known from the minute that they’d set out that things wouldn’t go so well. No meeting with his brother had gone well so far and all of those had happened _without_ Castiel present. Putting them all together with the angel in the room? Yeah, not exactly his idea of a good time. Not Loki’s ether, judging by the temptation he’d seen in his companion to just leave the angel there.

He’d hoped that they could save the two and then Loki would snap them out of there despite their silent argument in the warehouse. He really hadn’t expected the trickster to snap them back to—it looked like Dean’s motel room. Turning towards his companion, he shot him a glare that only made Loki’s smile grow. Why on earth were they here? Just because Dean had demanded it? Loki wasn’t one to give in to a demand of any kind. If anything, demands made him more likely to do the exact opposite. So why had he agreed to Dean’s demands and brought them _here_? The look on Loki’s face told him the trickster wasn’t going to answer that.

The temper in Sam’s thoughts was cut off by his brother’s temper exploding in the room. “Dammit, don’t _do_ that!”

“What, you’d rather have stayed there?” Loki asked innocently.

Despite the fact that these two got on like oil and water, t wasn’t them that Sam had his eyes on. He was watching Castiel as the angel straightened up fully beside Dean and those intense blue eyes of his sharpened and glared right at Loki. There was a part of Sam that wanted to move ever so slightly in front of his companion. Just subtly tuck Loki behind him so that he was out of Castiel’s direct line of sight. It was a stupid urge, he knew. Loki was a powerful being who could take care of himself. He didn’t need Sam Winchester to take care of him. But still, the feeling was there.

Loki made a low sound of amusement and leaned in enough to discreetly brush his fingers over Sam’s back in a gesture that let him know he had heard his thoughts and was amused by them.

“Who are you?” Castiel demanded. His tone was hard, a warrior demanding answers and ready to react to the ones he got.

The threat there, instead of worrying Loki, just made him chuckle. “Calm your feathers there, bucko. I’m just an—old family friend.”

“Old family friend my ass.” Dean shot back. “Trust me, dude, you’re close to the top on the list of things I wanna gank.”

Sam held out his hands in a peaceful gesture and finally gave in to the urge to shift his weight forward and to the side ever so slightly so that he was more in front of Loki than beside him. It wasn’t an obvious protective gesture, but it was still enough to make Dean’s eyes widen as the older Winchester realized what Sam was doing. Sam met his gaze and tried to keep his voice calm in contrast to the fury he saw in Dean’s eyes. “No one’s killing anyone here. I know you don’t like Loki, but he’s here with me, and he’ll be leaving with me.”

“Dude, you still seriously think he’s on your side? That he’s not trying to somehow screw you over?” Dean demanded. He’d stepped in front of his companion as well, giving him a look that Sam recognized easily, one that his brother had given him countless times before when he wanted Sam to step back and let him handle things. Surprisingly, Castiel allowed it, though his gaze stayed locked on Loki. There was caution and threat there, and something else, something slightly confused. Like Loki didn’t quite make sense to him. Sam only pondered it for a second before Dean was looking back at them and gesturing sharply towards the trickster with one hand. “He stood there giving a demon advice on how to better kidnap hunters!”

Instead of pissing him off, it only made Sam snort. “You get used to it.” He said dryly. It was true, too. “He’s not afraid of sharing his opinion, on anything. From how I dig a grave to how I brush my hair.”

“That’s because your hair is ridiculous.” Loki told him. Sam looked over his shoulder and raised his eyebrows, and Loki let out a low laugh.

He turned back around when Dean started to speak again. “I don’t get you, man. Why are you trying to defend him so much? Why are you even working with him at all?” His lip curled up in a disgusted look. “At least with that hell-bitch you had a reason. Or you thought you did. What possible reason could you have to work with _him_?”

There were so many different ways that Sam could answer him on that. He could tell him that they’d become friends, though that would only piss Dean off. He could tell him that he’d come to really trust Loki, but that would just have the same result. He could try and explain that they had a plan—two of them, actually—to stop things, but would Dean even trust something that came from someone he hated so much? In the end, Sam settled on shrugging and giving the most simplistic answer of all. “He didn’t really give me much choice. First he showed up in my motel room, and after I kicked him out, he showed up the next morning in my car and then he just kept showing back up despite any protest I gave.”

“Did you even try to get rid of him?” Dean asked scathingly.

Sam shrugged one shoulder like it didn’t pain him at all to hear the anger in his brother’s voice. “How? Staking him didn’t work the last two times, so I figured there wasn’t really a point in trying that again, and I’ve got no idea how to ward a room against a god.”

“And doesn’t that strike you as strange? You have no idea about this _thing_! There’s something not right about him.”

“Why? Because he’s with me?” Sam asked sharply.

“It’s not like you’ve got the best judgment, Sam.”

The sound that Sam made was too bitter and cynical to be called an actual laugh. However, it effectively silenced his brother, who looked stunned by the sound that had just tumbled past his baby brother’s lips. Sam shook his head, wearing a mirthless smile. Wasn’t that just the understatement of the year? Sam’s judgment was horrible and everyone in this room knew it.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Loki interrupted, brushing fingers over Sam’s arm as he stepped out from behind him. The look he gave the younger Winchester said that his words had been directed mostly towards him. Now, though, they were for the both of them, his eyes moving back and forth from one brother to the other. “You two need to calm down. You’re supposed to be working things out, not winding one another up even more.”

“You stay outta this before I stake your ass.” Dean warned him.

“You and your brother, I swear.” Shaking his head, Loki gave them a look of mock pity. “You really gotta work on your threats. Maybe pick something that, y’know, actually _works._ ”

Sam arched an eyebrow at him in an expression of dry amusement he hadn’t even realized he’d picked up from the trickster. “You keep telling me to be more expressive.”

“Stakes do not work?” Castiel interrupted, speaking up for the first time since the argument had really gotten going.

“No.” Dean answered. “Why? Does that mean something?”

Castiel was once more glaring at Loki like he was prepared to reach out and smite or something. “It means that he is not who he says he is.”

Somehow, Dean managed to look both furious and triumphant. Sam was kind of impressed. But when he opened, ready to demand more information from the angel, Sam cut him off at the pass. “It doesn’t matter.” He said simply.

“What…” Dean spun towards him, mouth hanging open. “Are you kidding me, Sam? Of course it matters! Who knows _what_ he is!”

Sam met his brother’s gaze without flinching. “I don’t care.” Purposely, he slid his eyes over to Loki, who was standing there gaping at him. “I don’t care.” He repeated. “I’ve known for a while he’s not exactly who he says he is. At least, not all the way. I’ve even got a pretty good guess, which is why I was surprised as hell that he came here with me. It just doesn’t matter.”

Something flashed over Loki’s face before it was quickly hidden again. His lips parted like he was going to speak, except Dean got there first, his furious words cutting off whatever Loki had been about to say and echoing heatedly through the room. “The hell it doesn’t! Dammit, Sam, when are you gonna learn to stop trusting monsters? When are you gonna learn how much trouble it causes?” Leaning in, he glared harder at Sam. “What is he, huh? Is he another demon or something? You find yourself a new source now that that bitch isn’t around?”

That had Loki straightening up at Sam’s side even as Sam flinched, and all signs of humor were gone from his face. His eyes turned sharp in that way that Sam knew meant he was really close to losing his temper. His voice, when he spoke, was low and dangerous. “Watch it. I’m not a demon and I don’t take kindly to being called one.” Sam hadn’t thought it possible, but Loki’s tone turned even harder. “And your brother hasn’t taken any demon blood in the entire time I’ve been with him.”

“Yeah, right!” Dean snapped.

It was Castiel who stepped forward and actually spoke up for them then. “He is not lying, Dean. Whatever this being is, it is not a demon. There would be no hiding that from me. And Sam has not ingested any demon blood. The taint on his soul is just the same as it always was. There is no worsening to the stain.”

Sam flinched visibly at that and Loki let out a low snarl. What happened next didn’t make any sense to Sam at first. He watched Loki bristle the way he’d seen him do many times when annoyed and swore he could feel the air around him start to crackle with an energy that wasn’t usually there. His eyes flashed like liquid gold and his voice changed, gaining a resonance that hadn’t been there before, different than the power Loki had shown to Sam in the past. “Mind your manners, Castiel.”

The whole room went still. Sam’s face went blank while Dean looked confused. But Castiel—there was open awe on Castiel’s face. It was the most emotion that Sam could ever remember seeing there. He took a half step back, twitching in a way that suggested he wanted to reach out, maybe, or drop down to his knees. But he only stood there, his whole body frozen, still, and breathed out one word. “ _Gabriel._ ”

“Hey bro.” Loki said, smirking.

The motel room went silent for one long beat. Then, predictably, Dean exploded. “Oh you’ve got to be kidding me!” He shouted. “He’s an angel? A frigging _angel_?”

Lifting up a finger, Loki calmly corrected him. “Archangel, actually. Bit higher on the food chain.”

The older Winchester spun to his brother. “And you _knew_?”

It wasn’t just Dean who was looking at him for answer to this one. They all looked at him for his answer. But it was to Loki that Sam spoke. He looked at his companion, this being who had stood by his side, taken care of him, pushed him to keep going, keep living, and just like when he’d first started to figure things out, he still believed now that it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter to him at all that he was an angel—the _arch_ angel bit was a still somewhat of a surprise. But him being an angel? It didn’t matter. “I couldn’t be sure, not without asking, but I had a feeling. I’d be a pretty poor hunter if I didn’t. We’ve spent pretty much every day together since the day after I made that phone call. I hunted you back at Mystery Spot. I learned everything I could about you during that time, and I’ve studied you more since you’ve been with me now, and this time around I knew about angels. It really wasn’t too hard to piece together.”

A warm, slow grin curved over Loki’s lips. It wasn’t harsh or mocking. It was the warm one, the one that he’d only ever seen Loki give to him. “Just when I think I’ve got you all figured out, you go an surprise me. You never gave any sign that you knew.”

He knew what Loki meant by that. He wasn’t just referring to actions or words, but to thoughts as well. Sam hadn’t thought about this at all in Loki’s presence. That had been deliberate, too. Shrugging, Sam smiled just slightly. “I went over it while you were gone, and I decided it didn’t matter, so there was no real need to think about it. It wasn’t going to change anything.”

That seemed to reach a limit for Dean. He’d been watching them quietly but at that last line he couldn’t stay quiet anymore. “What do you mean, it doesn’t mean anything? He’s been lying to you the whole time, Sam! That’s a pretty damn big thing. Hell, he’s probably been grooming you for Lucifer the whole time he was with you! This is just another one of his tricks.”

Sam shook his head. On this he was firm and had absolutely no doubts. “He’s never tried to force me to do anything I don’t want to do. He’s not shy about his opinions, trust me. If I do something stupid, he’ll be the first to tell me, loud and clear. But he’s given me something I haven’t had since…since Jess.” He saw his brother’s face contort and knew how he’d taken that statement. Sam hurried to elaborate before Dean could explode. “I didn’t mean that. Or, not just that. Respect, Dean. He’s given me respect. Even if he doesn’t agree with my decisions, he at least respects that they’re mine. He’ll argue with me, try to convince me otherwise, but at the end, the choice is mine.”Pausing, he amended his words. “Most of the time. On the important things, at least.”

“You trying to say I don’t respect you?”

“Dean, when was the last time you let me make my own choice on anything?” Sam asked him bluntly. “You try and look out for me, I’m not saying you don’t, but you do it by your standards. What _you_ think I need. What _you_ think is best for me. You never stop to ask me if it’s what I want.”

“Someone has to do it for you!” Dean shot back. “Look what happens when you do it for yourself.”

Sam blanched at that and Loki—he still couldn’t think of him as anything other than Loki yet—moved forward, looking even more pissed off. Arguing was one thing but he was oddly protective when it was apparent it was starting to hurt Sam. “Back off, bucko.”

“Oh, bite me.” Dean snapped back. “Why don’t you just flutter back off to whatever cloud you’ve been hiding on and leave me and my brother alone.”

Loki’s eyes flashed sharp and hot. “Don’t think you can dictate to me, _boy._ I come and go as I please, not at your command. And if you even think about using that neat little angel blade I can see you’re thinking about over there, I promise you, it won’t kill me, but I’ll make damn sure you regret trying.” His eyes snapped over to Castiel, who still stood near Dean’s shoulder. “Control your charge, Castiel, before his mouth gets him in more trouble than he can handle.”

Dean’s lip curled up in a sneer. “I don’t know why I didn’t see it before. You’re an even bigger dick than most of the angels we’ve met. Makes sense you’re one of them.”

This time it was Sam and Castiel who moved. The seraph pulled his charge back while Sam quickly grabbed hold of Loki’s arm. He knew he had no chance in hell of being able to hold Loki back; he didn’t stand a chance against the strength of a god, let alone an archangel. But all it took was that touch to freeze him in place. Golden eyes turned towards Sam and they were glowing slightly with his temper. “Please.” Sam said softly. It was all he could think to say. Just, “Please.”

Loki licked his lips and blew out a long, slow breath. “Fine. For you, handsome. But don’t think I’ll make a habit of this.” He cut a look over at Dean, who was still being kept back by Castiel. “I’m not known for my patience. Not as a god and not as an archangel, either.: He drew a deep breath in and then clapped his hands and his voice suddenly turned a bit more jovial. “All righty then, I’ve had just about enough of the arguing and revelations today. So, this is what we’re going to do. It’s obvious we can’t talk in this little space without trying to rip one another to shreds. So we’re going to go to our own rooms tonight, relax, and then tomorrow morning we’ll meet down the road at one of those crappy diners that you Winchesters seem so disgustingly attached to and we’re going to discuss this there while we eat.”

“Do you not think it’s better to discuss this where other humans cannot hear us?” Castiel pointed out.

Loki wrinkled his nose at him. “No, I do not.” He said, his voice a mocking parody of Castiel’s serious tone. Voice returning to normal, he added “Both boys are less likely to be screaming with other humans to witness, and Sammy has this strange demand that I behave when we’re out eating, so I figure a diner is the safest environment for us to talk. Now, you two kiddies play nice, and I’ll give you a ring come morning when we’re ready, Cassy.”

The last thing Sam heard before Loki snapped them away was Castiel asking “Why would I need a ring?”

* * *

The two landed in a room that was almost identical to the one they’d just left behind, only everything was flip-flopped. What had been on the left in Dean’s room was on the right in this one. As Sam ran his eyes over the room, there was another snap and their stuff appeared, Dog included. The terrier barked happily and started racing in circles around their feet. “Your car’s outside.” Loki said, his voice low and steady, almost cautious. “I figured you’d want it here instead of having to rely on your brother’s.”

“I didn’t really want to be here at all.” Sam felt compelled to point out.

Loki didn’t even bat an eye. “Yes, you did. You were just scared. I can see in that messed up noggin of yours, kiddo. I was just giving you what you didn’t have the courage to ask for.”

“You’re one of the most exasperating beings I’ve ever met.”

“Thanks!”

That made Sam shake his head. Only Loki would find that a compliment.

The room fell silent, the air charged with things both said and unsaid. Everything that had happened in the past hour was sort of hanging there between them and Sam wasn’t sure what to say or what to do. Then again, he didn’t really _have_ to say anything. His mind was racing with all this and he knew Loki was privy to every single one of those thoughts. Instead of letting that stop him and trying to reign it in, Sam just let it go, let himself run over everything, all of his worries right out there in the open, his shock clear. Suspecting that Loki was an angel and finding out that he was the _archangel Gabriel_ , well, those were two entirely different things. It had been one thing to think about an angel hiding as a trickster and screwing with their lives, or that the same angel had suddenly up and decided to travel with him, even _help_ him. But this wasn’t just any angel. This was Gabriel. One of the most famous of angels. One that Sam had once prayed to, quite often. One who should rightfully want this apocalypse as much as his siblings did. One who shouldn’t even be able to stand being in the same room as the boy with the demon blood, Lucifer’s vessel.

“You think I’m any better?” Loki asked him. “You saw Cassy’s shock back there. I ran away from home after Luce fell, let all of Heaven think I was dead, and I joined up with the pagans. I didn’t just use the name Loki—I became him. I’ve done things that would make your cringe. I’m everything your brother thinks about me and probably even more than that.”

“You’re not all bad.” The protest came immediately. Because, yes, he knew that Loki wasn’t a good person. He knew that he’d done bad things as tricksters.

Loki smiled softly, sadly, at him. “Maybe, but I’m not nice either. You of all people should know that, Samshine. Maybe Gabriel was, once, a long time ago, but I haven’t been Gabriel for a really long time.”

“But you want to be.”

“I don’t know if I can. I’ve done too much as Loki, seen too much, to ever be that same archangel again.”

There was such sadness in his voice, ancient and deep, speaking of pain that Sam wouldn’t ever be able to understand with all his human years. A sadness that reminded Sam of another archangel. There was sadness too, for what he thought was lost, and what he thought he could never get back. It reached into Sam and he found himself moving before he’d even fully thought about it. Maybe it should’ve been strange, gathering up this amazing being in his arms, this archangel who could destroy him with just a thought, and yet it felt more than right. Sam wrapped his arms around him and for once Loki didn’t make any jokes about it. He didn’t even give a token protest. Instead, he actually hugged him back, almost burrowing in against his chest. He curled until the top of his head rested underneath Sam’s chin and the two just held on to one another for a moment while Dog sat down by their feet and leaned in to them.

Eventually, Loki was the one to break the silence. “I blame this all on you.” He said it easily, like he was stating that the sky was blue, or that he loved candy. “You had to come and break up my nice little life I’d made and remind me that I was an angel and now I can’t seem to turn it back off.”

Sam could’ve gone nice and sweet there, or tried for reassuring, but he doubted that Loki needed any of those things. Instead, he smiled and pressed his cheek against the top of Loki’s head, and he put as much faux disgust in his voice as he possibly could as he asked “This doesn’t mean you’re suddenly going to stop being a sarcastic little shit, does it?”

Loki laughed against his chest and Sam couldn’t help his smile. “Not on your life.”

“Good.” Smiling, Sam closed his eyes. “Nice to meet you, Gabriel.”

Even if he couldn’t see it, he could feel the smile, and that was good enough for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, as you guys probably guessed, I'll be writing him as Gabriel, not Loki. I debated that for a while, but I figure it had to happen once the truth came out. This is also the start of our boys finally maybe starting to get along again! Let's hope it all goes well ;)


	10. Chapter 10

Sam couldn’t stop fidgeting as he stared down blankly into his coffee cup. It was practically swamped between his hands. Absently, he thought to himself that these diners always seemed to make things in an extra small size that left him feeling like he was playing tea-party or something. No sooner had he had that thought than there was a very soft snap and he felt a telltale shift in his hair. Immediately he let go of his mug with one hand and reached up with his other. What he found in his hair had him turning to glare at the annoying midget on his left. “A tiara, really?”

“Can’t play tea party without them.” Gabriel said cheerfully.

He looked up to see that, yep, sure enough, there was a tiara sitting in Gabriel’s hair, too. Not even a fancy one at that. It looked just like any other play one that Sam had seen inside of countless dollar stores and cheap toy bins all across the country. Definitely not something that Sam really wanted to be wearing, let alone out in public. He fixed Gabriel with his most unamused look he had and waited silently. Gabriel held out for a long beat. Then he let out a long-suffering sigh, like Sam was just the single most vexing human he’d ever had to deal with, and he snapped the tiaras away. “You’re no fun this morning.” He said, lip jutting out a bit as he sulked. “You keep saying no to all my plans.”

“Your plans so far have included attempting to mark up my neck for the sole purpose of pissing off Dean, wanting to pop in on them and scare them, and putting me in a tiara.” Sam pointed out dryly. He picked up his mug and settled back on the booth seat. “Pardon me for not feeling like indulging those.”

“Pfft. I’ll indulge in what I want. Who’s the boss here?”

Sam let his lips curve into a smirk he’d definitely picked up from his companion. “Well…”

He enjoyed the surprised and amused look on Gabriel’s face for the moment that it was there. Then, in a move so quick Sam didn’t have time to react, there was a hand fisted in his hair, yanking his head back, and Gabriel had pushed up to loom over him, staring down into his upturned face. Gold eyes were sharp and heated and Sam sucked in a breath even as he felt the heat pooling down low in his stomach. Gabriel bent in until they were a breath apart and his hair had come down to create a small screen around them. Sharp teeth nipped at his bottom lip. “I suggest you think very, very carefully before you answer that, handsome.”

Good God. Sam really enjoyed all sides of Gabriel, from the playful to the childish to the serious, but he could admit to himself that there was something about this commanding, dominating side of him that never failed to get him going. He let out a breath that shuddered just slightly and it was easy to see how that reaction pleased the trickster. Another nip to his lip, soothed by the swipe of his tongue, and then Gabriel was letting go of him and dropping back down into his seat to pick up his mug, as calm and casual as if nothing had happened. He looked past Sam to the window, since he’d claimed the outside of their side of the booth, and then grinned broadly as he gestured to the glass. “Oh, look, our brothers are pulling in. Perfect! I’m hungry.”

By the time the diner door opened and Dean and Castiel walked through it, Sam had managed to get himself mostly under control. Nothing to kill a boner like watching your big brother come glaring his way over to you with an angel at his side you weren’t all that sure didn’t want to smite you. The only thing that kept Sam from fidgeting, or out and out leaving, was the hand that settled on his thigh underneath the table. Gabriel had said yesterday that he was doing this because he knew that Sam wanted this. That Sam wanted to make this right with his brother. And, really, he was right. Sam couldn’t deny it. But faced once more with an angry looking brother and his angelic companion, it was much easier to remember why he’d stayed away in the first place.

Gabriel smiled brightly at them as they reached the booth. “Morning, boys!”

He got a scowl from Dean, who waited for Castiel to sit down and slide in before he took the outside seat, but once Castiel was seated he looked right to Gabriel with that intense stare that always left Sam just slightly uncomfortable. “Good morning, Gabriel.”

“Hey, bro.” Humor lit up Gabriel’s face. “You’re not wearing the ring I sent!”

Sam almost choked on his coffee at that and Dean’s scowl grew a little deeper. Castiel, however, looked down at his hand and then back up at Gabriel. “Dean explained to me that you were simply being facetious.”

“I doubt he was that polite.” Gabriel said with a chuckle.

They were interrupted then by the waitress coming up to the table. Sam didn’t really pay any attention to her or to what she was saying. He had his hands once more wrapped around his coffee mug and his gaze focused down on the liquid inside. It was easier than looking up at the angel directly across from him or at his brother. He stared down and tried not to let his thoughts run away with him. It wasn’t until Dean’s sharp voice snapped “ _Sam_ ” that his gaze shot up and he found everyone looking at him, the waitress included. He flushed a little when he realized they’d been talking to him and he hadn’t been paying attention. Dean rolled his eyes. “It’s your turn to order, dude.”

“Oh.” Sam’s flush deepened a little. “I, ah, I’m not hungry, thanks.”

The hand on his leg gave a warning squeeze. The archangel flashed the waitress a bright smile. “He’ll take your fruit and yogurt parfait breakfast, with a banana nut muffin.”

The lady went off to go put in their order. Sam turned to look at Gabriel, lifting an eyebrow. “I could’ve sworn I said I wasn’t hungry.”

“Pffffffft.” Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Since when do I listen to that? If I did, you’d never eat.” Without giving Sam a chance to answer, he looked at Dean and gestured back to Sam with his thumb. “How on earth did he manage to grow to gigantor size? Left to his own, he barely eats enough for a toddler.”

Surprisingly, Dean didn’t snap at him, didn’t give some sort of sharp comeback. His eyes cut over to Sam and there was something in that gaze that almost looked a bit worried. “He gets like that sometimes.”

“Depression will do that to you, I guess.” Gabriel said simply, acting like it was nothing, like he hadn’t just said something that immediately had Dean’s eyes narrowing on his baby brother and that had Sam tensing. Ignoring them both, he clapped his hands. “All right, well, let’s get this show started.” He leaned back in his seat and put his arm up on the back of the bench, fingers going to the back of Sam’s neck to play idly with his hair. “You boys get until breakfast is done to air out your issues with each other. I’ve warded our table so no one can hear what we’re talking about, and I’ll know if anyone tampers with it. So, we’re safe. Let it out. Once we’re done eating, we’re gonna put it all aside and discuss the plans Sammy and I have been building.”

“Who put you in charge here?” Dean demanded immediately.

If Gabriel had asked, Sam would’ve warned him that that wasn’t the way to do things. Not only would Dean automatically feel inclined to not follow any directions that came from Gabriel, he also wasn’t the type to ‘feel his feelings’ and indulge in what he considered chick-flick moments. Winchesters didn’t go around talking about what they felt. They argued, fought, maybe threw a few punches, and then later on apologized in ways that didn’t really require actually saying the words. The problems that existed between Sam and Dean right now weren’t going to be able to be fixed over breakfast. They’d already aired their issues with each other rather loudly the last few times they were together. They knew where each other stood right now. Bringing it up again like this wouldn’t do much. Maybe later, at a different time, if Sam really felt like it would work, he might find some alone time with Dean, corner him somewhere he couldn’t run away. Then he’d tell him what he felt, because Sam had always been the one to talk about his feelings where the others wouldn’t, and Dean could get pissed, grumble, maybe hit him, and then they’d be able to figure out whether they could move on together or apart. But this? This wouldn’t do anything except put Dean’s back up and maybe piss him off enough for him to decide to leave.

The trickster turned to look at Sam with an expression that was somewhere between annoyed and maybe a little disgusted. “Are you kidding me? Seriously?”

He knew what Gabriel was referring to. He must’ve been following along with Sam’s inner monologue. Shrugging, Sam traced his finger over the top of his coffee mug. “It’s just how we work.”

“And I thought _my_ family was screwed up.”

“Yeah.” Sam snorted and shook his head. “I’m pretty sure your still has us beat, Gabe.”

“What are you two talking about?” The annoyed demand from Dean interrupted the conversation between the pair and they both looked up to find Dean looking back and forth between them and even Castiel looking confused.

“Nothing.” Sam said quickly. Bringing up any of that would only put Dean’s back up even more. “Gabe just feels the need to comment on every thought that passes through my head.”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “He reads your mind?”

“All the time.” Sam tried to sound annoyed by it, but it didn’t quite work.

“It’s not like I deliberately go digging around. You humans just think so loudly.” Gabriel defended himself.

Quickly, Dean’s gaze shot to Castiel. “Wait a second, does that mean you can read my mind?”

The angel shook his head. “I could, when my grace was at full strength, but only if I sought to. Archangels are of a higher ranking than the rest of us. They are the firstborn, and are therefore stronger. They can do much the rest of us cannot.”

“Speaking of your grace, we need to have a long talk about that after breakfast, little bro.” Gabriel said. His tone was playful, but Sam could recognize the seriousness underneath it, with just that slight edge that told him that there was something about this that bothered him. What it was, he had no idea. He didn’t have the benefit of reading Gabriel’s mind like Gabriel could his. But he was learning how to read his body language and his expressions. It was a lot like reading Dean, really. They both used humor and temper to hide a multitude of things.

Conversation was cut off with the return of the waitress. She set Sam’s plate in front of him, a full sized breakfast in front of Dean, and a stack of pancakes smothered in fruit and whip cream in front of Gabriel, who grinned broadly at the sight of his food. Sam had been surprised early on to learn that the trickster seemed to consider fruit almost as important as candy. Nature’s sweets, he’d told Sam once.

Everyone except Castiel had something to eat. Without food to occupy him, the angel was simply sitting there, staring at Gabriel with this strange look in his eyes. It made Sam shift in his seat a little while he stirred the granola into his yogurt.  Gabriel, however, had no problem looking to his brother and calling him on it. “Something you wanna say there, Cassy?”

“What happened to you?” The angel asked immediately, as if he’d just been waiting for permission to broach this. “We all believed that you had died, Gabriel. We mourned for your loss.”

The small wince Gabriel gave didn’t go unnoticed by Sam. This time it was his turn to drop his hand down and rest it on Gabriel’s leg in a silent show of support. The small smile flashed his way told him that his companion appreciated it. Gabriel’s mask was firmly in place when he shrugged his shoulders and started to cut into his pancakes. “I got tired of watching the fighting. Tired of all of it. So, I skipped out of Heaven, gave myself a face transplant.” He gestured with his fork at his face, then speared up a bite and stuck it in his mouth, talking around it with manners that were a bit too much like Dean’s and had Sam rolling his eyes. “Made myself into a trickster and hid out in my own little witness protection.”

“What’d Daddy say when you ran off to join the pagans?” Dean asked dryly.

Gabriel swallowed his bite and gave Dean just as scornful of a look as he was getting. “Daddy doesn’t say anything about anything. He hasn’t for a long time, bucko.”

“You…hid with the _pagans_?” Castiel said slowly. The way he said it was familiar to Sam; that note of angelic disgust, like what they were speaking of was so much lower than them it was almost incomprehensible. He’d heard it turned his way by countless angels.

Worried, Sam rubbed at Gabriel’s leg even as he snuck a look at him. Instead of finding him scowling or upset, he was surprised to see how calm Gabriel looked. He lifted his fork and licked a bit of whip cream off the end of it. “Don’t sound so sanctimonious, Cassy boy. They’re not all as bad as you’ve been taught to think. Sure, they’re a bit rough, but they treated me like family, and some of them treated me better than even my real brothers.” He tipped his head to the side and watched Castiel’s face. “I wasn’t just some nameless trickster. I made myself into Loki. I couldn’t be Gabriel anymore, so I made myself into someone new. I didn’t think I knew anymore how to even _be_ Gabriel until this moose of a hunter came along and reminded me.” He smiled at Sam with that last part, getting a small smile from Sam in return. Then he looked back at Castiel. “It wasn’t anything against the rest of you. I just, I had to go.”

“Things got tough, so you ran away and hid from your own family?” Dean asked. He slanted a look at Sam. “Funny, that sounds so familiar.”

There was one split second where Sam almost let that go. He almost just hunched down and ignored it and let Gabriel and Castiel continue talking. But when he saw the hurt mixed in with the anger in Dean’s green eyes, he couldn’t hold back the words that poured past his lips. “I tried coming back, Dean. I tried calling you. You’re the one who told me to pick a hemisphere.”

Dean dropped his fork and gave up all pretense of eating his food. “And then I tried calling you back but you’d up and vanished, apparently with your new trickster pal over there.”

He should’ve just kept his mouth shut and let Gabriel and Castiel keep talking. Sam ducked his head back down and picked at his muffin. There wasn’t any point in this. They were just going to end up going over the same ground, over and over again, without getting anywhere. All they were doing was fighting. Dean wasn’t going to let go of any of this. He wasn’t going to just up and accept that Sam had been hanging out with Gabriel. To the older Winchester, that was just further proof that Sam couldn’t be trusted.

Gabriel let out a frustrated sigh before lifting his fork to point from one Winchester to the other. “Okay, that’s enough of that. Let’s just get a few things straight before we continue on here, shall we? You…” He pointed the fork to Sam now. “…messed up. You know it, we know it, everyone involved knows it. Get over it and move on. We’re trying to fix it and that’s all that you can do.” The fork moved to point at Dean now. “But you screwed up too. You bailed on your brother because he made mistakes that, really, he was pushed into. The both of you have been so manipulated into all this it aint even funny. You didn’t stand a chance, either one of you. You’ve been pushed to where you are just as much as you’ve been pushed to break apart.”

“Break apart?” Dean repeated. “What’re you talking about?”

“You think the angels want you two happy and fighting together?” Gabriel asked him, his tone suggesting just how stupid he found that. “They’ve been trying to find any way to break you two apart. And you both played right into it. Sam told me about what happened. That future Zachy sent you to? Bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit. He made the whole thing up as a way to try and push you and your brother apart and to try to get you to say Yes, because apparently he’s an idiot who doesn’t know how to do his homework and who wouldn’t know a good trick if…”

“Loki.” Sam cut in, using the trickster’s other name because, in that moment, it was purely the Loki part of him, lamenting a poorly done trick.

The trickster drew in a breath and pulled himself back on topic. “Right. Sorry. _Anyways_ , it was all just a trick, bucko. A badly done one, but a trick. He didn’t realize it was the quickest way to shove your asses back together.”

“Except he got what he wanted. It kept us apart.” Dean pointed out. “I tried bringing Sam back, but he chose _you_.”

Sam ducked his head down a bit and chewed on his bottom lip.

Beside him, Gabriel scoffed. “Can you blame him? You didn’t ask for your brother home, Deano. You asked for him to come back so you could try and keep him human. Not cause you wanted him there, but cause you seem to think that you’re the only thing that’s going to keep him from saying Yes. With that kind of trust and affection, gee, I can’t see _why_ he didn’t just rush right back.”

“Enough.” Sam said, cutting in before anyone else could speak. This was getting out of hand and they needed to get things back on topic. It was just like he’d thought earlier; airing all this out here wasn’t going to work. He and Dean had way too many issues to just get into it over breakfast and work it out this way. They needed to focus on the apocalypse right now, not their own persona, private issues. “Gabe, enough. I don’t want to get into this. How we got here, what we did, how we feel about each other, none of that stuff is important. What’s important is trying to stop the apocalypse, and Gabe and I have been working on that. We’re here because he thinks you two might be able to help.”

“You two have a plan?” Castiel asked, straightening up and looking at them wit interest. It was an amusing counter to the way that Dean tensed up and immediately started to scowl once more before snapping “I’m not following any plan of _his_.”

“Have _you_ come up with anything, hot shot?” Gabriel asked him. When Dean said nothing, he smirked. “That’s what I thought. _I_ , however, have not only one plan, but _two_.”

While everyone ate, Gabriel walked them through his Plan B—explaining about the keys to the cage, the Horsemen’s rings, and all the research that Sam had been doing trying to hunt down Famine and Pestilence. “What about Death?” Castiel asked him. “I was unaware that he had risen.”

“He hasn’t, yet.” Sam answered.

Gabriel nodded his agreement. “But he will soon. And I already got into it with Samsquatch here, so I’m not arguing it with the two of you, too. There is absolutely no hope of going up against Luci to try and stop him. We wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“We have been tracking the whereabouts of the Colt.” Castiel interjected. “We received intelligence that the demon, Crowley, is in possession of it.”

That had Sam dropping his gaze down to the muffin he’d been more picking apart than eating. He heard Gabriel let out a snort. “Okay, one, I haven’t once agreed to do anything that involves killing my brother, and I’m definitely not going to, so any plan you have to attempt that, I’m not going to be a part of. Two, trying to use the Colt would only be a suicide mission. It doesn’t work against archangels. And three, Crowley doesn’t have it. At least, not anymore.”

“Wait a minute, are you telling me you guys have it?” Dean looked completely thrown by it. “You have the Colt?” He looked to Sam for confirmation, seeming even more stunned when Sam nodded.

Taking the last bite of his pancakes—despite conversation, Gabriel hadn’t once stopped eating, even when Dean had paused occasionally to stare—he gestured once more with his fork, waving it over by his shoulder. “We got that ages ago. But like I said, it doesn’t matter, cause it won’t work on him. There’s absolutely nothing we can do to stop him from raising Death, and we kind of need that ring anyways, so this whole bit is a moot point. I’ll talk to Death once he’s free and see about borrowing his ring for a while. Shouldn’t be a problem. It’s Famine and Pestilence you gotta worry about.”

For a moment Dean just stared at him. “You’re one cold-hearted bastard, you know that?”

Gabriel flashed a bright smile. “You sweet-talker, you. I’m way outta your league, _and_ I’m already taken. Save the pretty words for your own angel.”

The waitress came up right then, for which Sam was grateful. It cut off his brother’s spluttering and gave Dean a moment to get rid of that faint blush and regain his composure. She took away their empty plates, poured some fresh coffee, and was on her way again. When she was barely far enough away from the table to be considered safe, Dean’s eyes shot to Sam. “Are you seriously okay with this? With letting Lucifer do whatever the hell it is he has to do to raise Death? Cause Douchy over here didn’t say what exactly this ritual is, but I can’t imagine it’s good.”

Sam knew the details. He’d gone over them more than once with Gabriel. He’d also had this same argument with him. It helped him to be steady in his answer now to Dean. “No, I’m not okay with it, but we don’t really have a choice. The town he’s doing it in, they’re already lost. He’s not just going in one day and taking people out and raising Death. It’s a complicated ritual that takes time and preparation. Wide scale possession that we’re nowhere near equipped to handle, even with angelic backup or any other hunters we called in. The only thing we’d be able to do would be to get everyone killed—and in the end, it wouldn’t even be worth it. We wouldn’t win. So no, I don’t like it, but I already have enough deaths on my conscience. I don’t need to purposely add more.”

“Sammy here’s been doing the bulk of research, trying to track down the other two Horsemen. It’d go faster if he had some help.” Gabriel said, drawing attention away from Sam and the last part of his statement.

“And what are you doing, brother?” Castiel asked.

A smile curved Gabriel’s lips. “ _I’m_ working on Plan A.”

Dean turned to look at the trickster, though there was something in his gaze that promised Sam this last topic would be revisited again later. If they were together later. “What’s plan A? It’s gotta be better than this one.”

“A tricky bit of magic that’s going to take both of my skill sets, and then some. We’re going to call them down, trap them in human vessels, and strip them of their grace.”

The whole table went quiet. Leaning back, Sam cradled his mug in his hands and looked between his brother and his brother’s angel. Dean looked surprised, but not too much so. More than anything he looked _interested._ There was none of the earlier angst or anger in his face. This was Dean, the hunter, looking at a plan and testing it in his mind, analyzing it from all angles. While Sam was extremely good at research and planning, he knew he had nothing on Dean when it came to actual plans, to the main part of the hunt itself, and to his instincts. Dean had the best set of instincts he’d ever seen on a hunter, and that was including their Dad. He was such a natural at it. Then again, growing up in the life, being fed it from so early on, how could he not be? He’d always enjoyed it whereas Sam had been ready to leave from a young age. Dean had embraced his training with a passion and that had led to the amazing hunter he was today.

Castiel, however, looked horrified. “You want to force them to Fall?”

“Better than killing them.” Gabriel said flatly. “Better than locking them away again.”

The way that Castiel looked at him said that he didn’t quite agree with that.

Dean, however, had a few questions of his own. He was managing to push aside his issues with Gabriel and actually meet him eye to eye with a topic this serious on the table. “What about the vessels? I mean, Lucifer’s already wearing some poor guy, and Michael doesn’t have anyone—and you damn well better believe we aren’t volunteering for that.”

“No one’s saying Yes.” That, Gabriel was firm on, glaring at both of them until he was sure he’d made his point. Only then did his face relax. “I’ve got a plan for the vessels, though.”

After waiting to see if he’d answer, Dean rolled his eyes. “Well how about you tell us what it is?”

“With the help from some very old friends, the same ones who hooked me up with this bad boy…” A smile curved Gabriel’s lips and he patted his chest. “…I’m _making_ vessels for my brothers.”

“You can _make_ vessels?” Dean and Sam said simultaneously. They didn’t even flinch at speaking together. Sam was too stunned to even notice. He hadn’t really given any thought to the body Gabriel was wearing. That made him a bit embarrassed and slightly ashamed. He hadn’t stopped to think about Gabriel wearing somebody, or to ask about it or anything like that. Hearing that it was a _built_ vessel, not an actual person, was a wonderful thing.

The smile Gabriel gave him said he’d followed those thoughts. He reached over, patting Sam’s arm, but his focus was on the whole table. “When I came down, I was trying to hide. I didn’t exactly want to be noticed, so going to the special bloodline capable of housing me was out of the picture. My family would’ve looked there right away. I ended up hitching a ride in a vessel that wasn’t quite it, kind of like Luci’s doing right now, until I met Coyote. He helped me use my grace and his magic to make a new vessel, perfectly real and completely empty. It’s not something just anyone can do.” He added that on when Dean opened his mouth to speak, anticipating what he was going to ask. “No other angel could do it, not without help. That’s what I’ve been doing lately, though.” He turned now to look at Sam, his words directed at him. “We’ve been planning and gathering what we’ll need and slowly starting the process.”

“And you can just trap them in these vessels and, what, yank out their grace? Make them be human?” Dean asked.

Gabriel nodded. “In a nutshell.”

“This is insane. What’s to say they won’t go bat shit insane and start some massive killing spree? Lucifer’s not exactly the poster child for good and sane.”

Raising his eyebrows, Gabriel gave him an offended look. “You think I’ll let that happen? You think I won’t be watching them?”

“You think the other angels won’t be all gung-ho to get them back normal again?” Dean fired back.

It was a valid point. Most of Heaven was pretty much all for the apocalypse. They were pushing to get it going. If the two main stars were turned human, what was to keep the others from trying to fix them and get things started all over again? Michael at least would probably try to contact other angels to come and help rescue him. “Maybe we could wipe their memories?” Sam suggested, thinking of Jesse’s parents and what Gabriel had done for them. “Without their grace, in new bodies, and without their memories, they could be protected, hidden from angels like we are, and they wouldn’t know enough to call out to them. Plus, they’d be able to really grow up that way, experience a human life without being confined by the ties of all their past bullshit.”

“I like it.” Dean said, surprising Sam. “But you said ‘grow up’. How young are you making these vessels? Are you making them kids so they can have a full human life, or are you throwing them straight into adulthood? Cause if they’re adults, not having a past is going to feel insane. They’ll spend a lot of time trying to get those memories back.”

“I hadn’t thought of making them kids.” Gabriel admitted. He sounded like he was contemplating it now, though. “Coyote and I haven’t started to make the vessels yet, just gathered what we’ll need for it. Huh. I might have to think about this.”

“We should definitely talk about it more, but not here.” Dean said. He didn’t look as angry as he had earlier, or as upset either. Having some sort of plan had always done wonders to bolster Dean’s mood. Sam was stunned by how much this plan seemed to be okay with him. It required putting a lot of trust in Gabriel and since when was Dean all about trusting the trickster? Sam watched his brother carefully, not quite sure what to think here. Them Sam was even more surprised as Dean said “Why don’t we head to Bobby’s? We can talk about things better there, out of the way.”

Realization hit and Sam actually relaxed a little in his seat. Okay, that made sense. Dean wasn’t suddenly possessed or anything like that. He just wanted an excuse to get Sam and Gabriel to Bobby’s where he would be better able to do…whatever it was he wanted to do. Put Sam on lockdown, have backup against Gabriel, whatever. He wanted to be on home turf to handle it. Sam found himself nodding a little. That made more sense.

Gabriel didn’t give any indication that he’d heard Sam’s thoughts. He smiled and pushed out of the booth to rise up to his feet. “Sounds like a plan to me. We’ll meet you guys there.” Winking at Sam, he held out a hand to him, which Sam rolled his eyes at and ignored as he slipped out of the booth as well. He could stand up on his own just fine.

The other two rose as well and Dean watched them carefully as Sam straightened up at Gabriel’s side. “We should probably all arrive together, just to keep Bobby from freaking out. I don’t think he’d react too well to the trickster showing up on his doorstep.” _I want you where I can see you_ , Sam heard underneath, words that Dean wouldn’t say but that his little brother easily picked up on.

“We’ve got our own car.” Gabriel said, gesturing with a finger out to the parking lot. He pulled out a wallet from his back pocket and then reached with his free hand to thread his fingers with Sam’s. The flush on Sam’s cheeks and the pained sound that Dean made only fueled Gabriel’s smirk. “Breakfast is on us. See you two there!” Tugging on Sam’s hand, ignoring any of Sam’s attempts to let go, he pulled him along. “C’mon, handsome, let’s pay an get out of here. Dog’s waiting for us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do y'all think about their plan? What would you like to see them do? Plan A? Plan B? Should Gabriel make them adults or children? I'm curious to see what your opinions are! I really hope you guys liked this, and thank you for all your support last chapter :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Busy weekend. I won't waste time with excuses. Here's your story!

It turned out that they were only a few hours out from Singer’s place. That was fine for Gabriel. His time on earth had given him a better appreciation for human things than his siblings had, and riding in cars was one of those things. Granted, it was slower, and it could get _insanely boring_ , but it had its perks. Spending hours next to his favorite Winchester—even if said moose spent pretty much the entire trip quiet and angsty—wasn’t exactly a hardship. At least the view was a good one. Gabriel sprawled himself out comfortably in the passenger’s seat, a spot that he was amused to realize was very much becoming _his_ , and he watched Sam through half lidded eyes, for once actually tuning out Sam’s thoughts so that he could indulge in his own for a bit.

All annoyance with the older Winchester aside, he’d made a few valid points back there while talking about their plan. As had Sam. It gave Gabriel plenty of things to think on.

He hadn’t really expected everyone to be all for his plan on trapping his brothers and making them human. Then again, the humans probably didn’t understand just what that meant for an angel. Castiel did and his horrified reaction had been one that Gabriel had expected. Sometimes, when he let himself think about it, it was one he felt, too. But this was the lesser of many evils. Gabriel refused to kill his brothers. He absolutely refused. And if possible, he wanted to keep from locking either of them up. The idea of stuffing his brother back into his cage was a painful one.

Not just for him, either. His eyes traced over Sam’s face as he remembered when the topic of plans had first been brought up. Sam hadn’t seemed all that keen on the idea of locking Lucifer away, either. He was much more for Plan A than Gabriel had expected him to be.

That was just one of the many things about the hunter that continued to surprise him. Despite the fact that only months ago, he’d been pushed to the point of suicide just to try and stop all of this, to keep Lucifer from using him, Sam truly and honestly wanted to help try and _save_ them. His brother and the little-angel-that-could seemed all set on trying to find a way to kill Lucifer, but Sam hadn’t at all hesitated on the idea of saving them. If anything, he’d seemed relieved at the idea.

_“Everyone deserves a shot at redemption.”_

_“Even the devil?”_

_“I think especially him.”_

That definitely hadn’t been the party line he’d expected Sam to take. Out of everyone, it would’ve been the most understandable for Sam to hate Lucifer. He was essentially the reason that Sam’s life had ended up the way it was. No one could’ve blamed him for hating him. Yet, he didn’t. Instead, he’d quickly and eagerly latched on to the plan that would allow them to try and _save_ him.

The goodness inside of the younger Winchester never failed to amaze him.

_“Punishment is supposed to teach you something. You’re supposed to learn from it so you can do better. Only, what was he supposed to learn, locked away in a box, cut off from everyone? That’s enough to drive anyone insane. I would think it’d be worse for an angel to be alone like that. Shut up without any contact from his family, any love, anything good, is it any wonder he’s worse than he was? He’s had so much time to sit in there alone and stew in his anger and his pain and his self-hatred.”_

How on earth could Sam possibly still have so much love and understanding inside of him after everything he’d been through? Everything his family had been through? It was mind boggling. At one point, Gabriel had considered it the hunter’s weakness, the thing that would damn them all, sure that Lucifer would use it as a way to easily pull this hurt and angry and broken mortal to his side. Now, he thought that maybe it was Sam’s strength. That maybe Sam was stronger than anyone, especially the angels, gave him credit for.

“You’re thinking too hard over there.” Sam said suddenly, snapping Gabriel out of his thoughts. Hazel eyes darted over to him and then back out to the road. “I can smell the smoke.”

The corner of Gabriel’s mouth quirked up. “Oh, someone thinks he’s funny today. How adorable.”

“Please, I’m funny every day.”

“Just keep telling yourself that, kiddo.”

Sam smiled at that and gave Gabriel an amused look before he took the next corner. Looking up, Gabriel realized that he’d been more caught in his thoughts than he’d realized. Singer’s Salvage was just up ahead. Which meant that Sam’s playful teasing had been a deliberate attempt to pull Gabriel out of his thoughts and lighten his mood before they arrived. Sneaky little Winchester. He must be worrying about things and hoping to put Gabriel in a good mood so there was less chance of him snapping and sending Dean somewhere fun and nasty.

The idea was tempting. Gabriel amused himself for the last few minutes of the trip by trying to figure out where exactly he’d send him.

But when they finally came to a park, not too far away from the impala that had already arrived, it wasn’t Gabriel who was nervous. His human looked like he was working hard to keep calm. His hands shook only slightly as he pulled them off the wheel. Inside, however, his mind was a maelstrom of thoughts and feelings, the unfortunately familiar self-deprecation and guilt much louder than they usually were. Sam was afraid of what was going to happen here. Afraid of what Dean would say or do, afraid of how Bobby was going to react and what he’d do, but most of all, he was afraid for Gabriel.

 Well, damn. That was, cute. Unnecessary, of course. He could very well handle himself. But still—cute.

He watched as Sam drew in a deep breath and then fell behind that shield he’d learned at his brother’s knee, trading worry for humor. “Well, time to face the music.” All of his worry was pushed down as far as he could shove it, until the smirk he gave would’ve passed muster with anyone who couldn’t read the thoughts that still circled in his head. “You ready for this? I’m sure they’ve had plenty of time to prepare for us in there.”

Playing along, Gabriel rolled his eyes and gave a dramatic sigh. “I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”

“Most likely.” Sam agreed. The bastard didn’t even bother trying to hide his amusement now. Gabriel couldn’t help his delighted grin as they started to climb out of the car. He took it as a great source of pride every time he got any kind of snarky reply out of the hunter. It was a hell of a lot better than his mindset had been when Gabriel had first come across him.

Meeting Sam’s gaze over the hood of the car, he found his companion smirking at him. “Ready?”

That was just too easy. Gabriel’s grin grew wider. “I was _born_ ready.”

Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head, waiting for Dog to finish hopping out of the car before he shut the door. “You’re an idiot.”

Still, he was smiling as they walked over to the porch, less tense, and that was exactly what Gabriel had been going for.

* * *

Twenty minutes later the group was all gathered in Singer’s dusty living room. Gabriel was kicked back in his corner of the couch with his legs propped up on Sam, who sat on the opposite end, and Dog lying between them. After a few futile attempts to make him move, Sam had given in and was currently resting one hand on Gabriel’s leg, thumb hidden just enough from view that no one could see it stroking over the skin of Gabriel’s ankle. It was a grounding touch for Sam, he knew. A reminder he was okay.

Amusement tickled at Gabriel as he looked down at his chest where he’d sported a pretty impressive gunshot wound, a greeting gift from Papa Bear Singer over there when they’d first arrived. It had terrified the hell out of Sam initially.

It amused Gabriel.

A snap of the fingers had repaired his clothes. His body had healed quickly on its own. “Feel better?” He’d asked smugly. “All of you, so kind to old friends. You really _wound_ me, Singer.”

Yeah, he’d pretty much expected the next shot.

They were done with that now, though, and after some amusing bickering, they’d all settled down here in the living room where Dean was now laying out Gabriel’s plans to Bobby. For the time being, Gabriel was content to enjoy the sucker he’d conjured and let the hunters talk. He’d already gone over the plan more times than he cared to.

Dean cut a few corners and left out a few of the smaller details, and some details he didn’t know because Gabriel hadn’t given them, but he gave Bobby a pretty accurate outline in quick and simple terms. The older hunter listened and nodded along, shaking his head here and there. When Dean was finally done, the room went quiet for a moment. Gabriel twirled his tongue around his sucker and watched the two hunters and the angel all try and decide what to do next. He wasn’t really surprised with it was the older hunter who turned to him and started asking questions. The way Sam talked about him, the guy was smarter than he looked. Not, Gabriel thought to himself with amusement, that that was saying much.

“Who’s gonna raise your kid archangels once this is all said and done?” Bobby asked him, a pretty damn good question if he had to admit.

The idea was one of the things that Gabriel had been thinking about in the back of his mind ever since Dean had suggested turning them into kids and not teens. Who would raise them? A young Michael and Lucifer couldn’t be handed over to just anyone. They needed to be raised together, with a good family, someplace that they could see the good of humanity and rebuild the bond between the two of them. There’d been a time when those two were the closest of them all. They needed to be able to find that again. The family would also need to be one that was prepared to handle the supernatural in their lives. Not just bad, but good, because there was no way that Gabriel would just abandon his brothers. He’d be a part of their life, watching over them, interacting with them. “I’m working on that.”

“What about their grace? Rippin’ out an angel’s grace and hiding it don’t seem like somethin’ easy.”

Gabriel’s lips quirked upwards. He could almost like this older hunter. He didn’t waste time with arguments or stupid questions; he just got right to the point and asked the important things without sugar coating it. “Hiding their grace is the easy part. With those two out of commission, Rafe is gonna be the only one left close to my strength, an we were always evenly matched before. I’ve learned a few _tricks_ since I left home. Their grace will be fine.”

Surprisingly, Bobby nodded at that, not pushing it. He went a different route entirely. “What’s this ritual that you’ve gotta do? Is it something my boys need to worry about?”

Ah, now they came to the important part for Bobby, and the archangel could respect that this was what was truly important to the older hunter. John may have sired these two but what Gabriel had learned from Sam made it clear who the true father figure in their life was. Because of that, and because he could feel just how tense Sam was, he kept his tone even, almost respectful, when he answered. “The ritual itself only needs a bit of blood from them. The blood of the old vessels to strengthen the new. It’ll help call my brothers down, too. But otherwise, the rest of the ritual is on me. There’s gonna be risks, though. I can’t be disturbed while I’m doing the ritual and there’s no telling if any other angels or demons are gonna show up an try and stop me.”

“You need us playing defense.” Dean said.

“I can call in a few favors, get you some backup, but, yeah, I’m gonna need you to hold the line.”

“If you got all this planned out,” Bobby interjected. “Then why are you still trying to hunt down the Horsemen’s rings?”

“If something goes wrong, I’d like to be prepared with a backup plan. Something to keep my brothers from running around in brand new meatsuits.” Gabriel said dryly. His tone was a loud and clear ‘duh’. A squeeze on his ankle drew his attention to Sam and he caught the warning theme of the younger Winchester’s thoughts. Most of them ended up boiling down to basically ‘play nice’. Gabriel wrinkled his nose at that. “You’re no fun, Sambo.”

“I’ll work on that.” Sam deadpanned.

Cheeky little shit. Gabriel snapped his fingers and a sucker appeared in Sam’s mouth. It was something he did often when he felt his partner needed to lighten up. The unamused expression on Sam’s face just made it a bit funnier.

Before Gabriel could mock his companion, he was cut off by Dean’s annoyed grumble. “You think you could stop playing house over there with your little trickster pal, Sammy? We’re just trying to stop the apocalypse here. You know—the one _you_ started?”

The effect those words had was immediate. All color drained out of Sam’s face and he sucked in a low breath. Even Bobby and Castiel turned to look at Dean with surprise. Bobby hadn’t exactly looked happy with Sam before, but he definitely looked pissed off at Dean now.

None of it compared to Gabriel’s temper, though.

He personally didn’t care about what any of these humans here thought of him. They could hate him if they wanted. But how they treated Sam— _that_ was important. Sam as _his_. Neither part of him, the trickster or the archangel, were the type to sit back and let someone harm what belonged to him. The only thing that was saving Dean from flying back to make friendly with the nearest wall was the fact that there was honest regret on his face. Those words had been his temper speaking, not really him, and that was what kept part of the archangel’s temper in check. Part of it.

Gabriel slowly drew his legs off of Sam and planted his feet on the floor. His eyes were locked on the older Winchester, but he directed his next words to Sam. “Pardon me for a minute, Sammy. Your brother and I are long overdue for a little chat.” Briefly, he turned his eyes to Castiel, letting just a hint of his old command slip into his eyes and his voice. “Guard him well while I’m gone.”

“Gabe…” Sam said slowly, warningly.

He didn’t give him time to finish. With a snap, he and Dean were gone.

They reappeared in one of the many apartments that Gabriel kept around the country. This one wasn’t one of his most lavish, a bit more of a relaxing space, but that didn’t really matter at the moment. He wasn’t here to hang out. He was here to have a long overdue talk with the stubborn Winchester. Gabriel was furious in a way he hadn’t been for a very long time. Furious enough that he couldn’t even take pleasure out of the way that Dean jerked back and looked around in panic at the change in location.

He gave Dean no time to recover and speak. With another snap, duct tape appeared over the hunter’s mouth. He met Dean’s affronted stare with a glare of his own. “Glare all you want, sparky. You’re here to listen and nothing more, and _this_ time, you better _actually_ listen to me because I am seriously running low on patience. I promise you, you don’t wanna see what happens when I finally run out.”

There was just enough threat in his voice that he could see Dean actually take notice of it this time. The hunter went quiet and Gabriel gave a firm nod. Good.

“We’re gonna leave your problems with me for a different time. You and I, we’re not ever gonna see eye to eye with one another and that’s just facts. You don’t like what I did to you guys and I can’t stand your bad attitude and the way you treat your brother. Whatever.” He waved a hand, dismissing the protests that he could hear in Dean’s mind and ignoring his scowl. “We’ll both repress that until this whole shit storm is over and then we can blow up at each other. Until then, you can stew all you want. _Your_ wellbeing isn’t what I give a damn about. What I care about, what I won’t stand by and watch, is you trying to _destroy_ your brother.”

That shut up the spin of Dean’s thoughts. His eyebrows shot up in surprise and his mind actually blanked for a second. Then, the only clear thought that managed to break through was a loud and clear _What!?_

“I get that you’re hurt. You feel like your brother betrayed you, you don’t trust him, he chose someone over you, boo _freaking_ hoo.” Rolling his eyes, Gabriel crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the man across from him. “Get over yourself, bucko. We could spend hours here tossing blame back and forth between you and your brother. You’re both idiots. You both screwed up. Do you really think reminding him of it all the damn time is gonna do any good at all?”

_He seems fine and frisky to me._

Gabriel caught that thought, as well as the images that came with it, little snapshots of those few moments that Sam was smiling at Gabriel, or relaxing around him, in Dean’s presence. Relaxing with someone that Dean didn’t approve of. Relaxing, showing a pretty big level of trust, _not with Dean._ Hurt and jealously were oozing through Dean’s thoughts. Gabriel gave a little growl at the insane codependency between these two. Dad help him, these two were enough to drive the most patient of saints insane. “Of, for—would you untwist your panties a little there and open up your eyes?” He demanded. “Yes, Sam relaxes with me. I’ve worked damn hard to get him to that point. Do you realize just how fragile he was when I found him? How broken?”

There was one way he knew that he could make Dean understand. Sam would be pissed once he found out about this. He’d be absolutely livid. But, Gabriel wasn’t all that concerned about that. He could deal with Sam’s temper so long as it meant the kid stayed _alive_.

Blunt was the best way to do it. He put on his harshest voice, wanting his words to hurt, wanting them to cut deep so that Dean would finally _understand_. Dean, he was hurt by all of this, close to his breaking point, but he was holding on. He needed to know that Sam had already broken. Broken, and clawed his way back up, bit by bit. He needed to know so that he could stop doing and saying stupid things that shoved Sam right back down again. “When I found your brother, he was dead. Not dying—full on dead, soul gone, the whole shebang.” He watched Dean stumble back a step in open shock and he sneered at the human. “Yeah, that got your attention, didn’t it? See, Sammy figured everything was his fault, no one wanted him around anyways, and that it was the only way he’d be able to contribute anything. So he grabbed a gun and shot himself in the head. I cleaned his brains up off the wall. Bit messy, that.”

He had to snap the tape away then as Dean started to gag. He brought a bucket into existence at the same time and Dean didn’t hesitate to grab it and empty his stomach. The hunter ended up on his knees, retching until there was nothing left to bring up.

Gabriel stood over him the whole time. He hated seeing Dean brought down low. Despite how little he liked the man sometimes, he didn’t outright loathe him. He didn’t want to see the man brought this low. But it had to be done. Sometimes the harshest lessons were the best.

He waited until Dean stopped heaving and was just spitting before continuing on. His voice was still hard, still harsh, but with a hint of something else to it now. This wasn’t exactly something he liked reliving. “I didn’t heal him. I didn’t have to. Luci was already doing it for me. He promised Sam he’d bring him back, but Sam didn’t trust him, so of course he had to test it. See, Sam didn’t do it because his life hurt too much or because he’s tired, even though he is. He did it because he thought it was a way to solve this and he just doesn’t consider his life important anymore in the grand scheme of things. He thinks he has no worth whatsoever except to stop what he started. He doesn’t blame you, even though you broke the first seal. He doesn’t blame the angels that have manipulated him _since birth_ for this very thing. He doesn’t blame Cassy, even though he’s the one that let Sam out of the panic room that night. He doesn’t even blame the brother that called him a vampire and shoved him out of his life.”

That last line had Dean’s head shooting up. Agonized green eyes clouded a little with confusion, barely peeking past the heartache there. “I didn’t…I never called him that!”

Gabriel’s lip curled up in a sneer. “No? That night my brother got free, a little phone call to _your_ brother, that doesn’t ring any bells?”

He listened as the thoughts raced through Dean’s head and felt his own eyes go wide as he saw the truth of that situation. “Oh!” He drew back a little, looking down at Dean with a different light. “Huh. Interesting. You might want to bring that up with Sammy. I don’t think the message you left him was the same voicemail that he got, Deano. Sounds like Zachy really was trying to give him a push.”

Dean may be an idiot most of the time, but when pointed right at something, humans generally could see what was there. Gabriel watched it dawn on Dean and watched the fury that washed over his face. “That son of a bitch.”

“Yeah. Never was the nicest.”

He watched Dean for a second as the hunter tried to gain control of himself. With a sigh, Gabriel snapped, the bucket disappearing and a bottle of water taking its place. He was a bit surprised that Dean didn’t protest it or even hesitate. He just picked the bottle up, opened it, and took a few swallows.

The trickster waited until the other man was on his feet before he spoke again. The harsh edge was gone from his voice, but the firmness stayed. This was important and he needed to make sure that Dean understood him. “Your brother is trying to do everything he can to try and stop this. But you keep pushing him like this, keep throwing out those shitty comments and snapping at him all the time, all you’re gonna do is push him right into my brother’s arms. I’ve been keeping Sammy going, keeping him alive, but I’m not enough. He needs his brother.”

He could actually see it as those words struck home. As they hit the place deep down inside that would always be geared towards what Sammy needed. The part that had been created the day his baby brother had been born, strengthened on a night of death and fire when that infant had been shoved in his arms, handed to him to protect, and had been forged over the years where a too young child had been forced into the role of parent instead of big brother.

Dean’s eyes were a little clearer and just a bit sharper when he blinked them open once more. “How do I know I can trust you?”

“You don’t.” Gabriel said easily, with a smirk he couldn’t quite help. “But Sammy does.”

“Cas does too.”

Now, that surprised him. He hadn’t expected the little seraph’s trust in this.

His surprise must’ve shown on his face because Dean made a sound that was half amusement, half snort. “Yeah. He gave me a bit of a speech on it on the way over here. I’m not the only one here that’s got a kid brother to make things up to.”

Well, well, well. “Touché, Deano.” That was more accurate than Dean probably realized. He doubted Castiel had spoken of his younger years to this hunter. Dean wouldn’t have any idea just how close Gabriel and Castiel had been before Gabriel left. “Looks like we both got some work to do.”

* * *

Sam was hiding out outside when Dean and Gabriel returned. He’d been out here almost the whole time. Once they’d vanished, and Castiel had reassured Bobby they were fine, the older hunter had announced he had work to do and basically shut them out. Sam, unable to bear just sitting silently in a house where he felt sure he wasn’t welcome anymore, had slipped outside. His feet had moved on autopilot and taken him back to a corner of the salvage yard where he and Dean had often come as kids. There was a giant tree back here, with branches thick enough to support even his adult weight.

It felt oddly good to hoist himself up here and stretch his body out on the branch. To lean against the trunk and look up at the branch above him where his initials were carved, not too far away from his brother’s. _“Not too close”_ Dean had once told an eight year old Sam. “ _Only couples do that kind of stuff. Put yours over there._ ”

Sam’s lips curved as the memory washed over him. Things had been nice back then. Simpler. He’d trusted Dean with all the fervor of a little brother and in return he’d had the biggest and most loyal protector/mother hen anyone could ask for. Sam may have doubted his place with his father sometimes but he’d never doubted back then that his brother loved him. The words didn’t have to be said. His actions spoke clear enough.

He wasn’t sure how long he drifted there, caught up in memories, before his thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice. “Damn, I haven’t been out here for a while.”

Sam looked down with open surprise to find his brother casually strolling towards him. He couldn’t help it, he ran his eyes over him quickly, checking for any signs of, well, anything. Gabriel wasn’t always the nicest when he was pissed off and Sam knew that he’d been _pissed_ when he’d snapped him and Dean away.

His quick check wasn’t all that discreet and it had Dean rolling his eyes. “I’m fine. Your boy toy didn’t do anything but talk.”

“That’s not as reassuring as you think it is.” Sam said reflexively. He knew exactly how sharp Gabriel’s tongue could be when he was in the right kind of mood.

Dean snorted as he stopped at the base of the tree. “Yeah.” Hands on his hips, he looked up at Sam for a moment, and Sam just stared back, not quite sure what to do. Something passed over Dean’s face and then he was dropping his hands off his hips. “Right. Watch out.”

Surprise kept Sam still as he watched his brother climb up the tree with a little less skill and grace than he’d shown when they were kids. He got up there, though, and perched himself on the branch that was just a bit above and beside the one Sam was on. It was the same way they’d sat when they were younger, too. They’d joked that the branches were set so close together just for them. Sam could remember hours and hours that they’d sat here together. When Sam was eight and angry at his father for getting left behind yet again. When he was twelve and had his first crush, this was where they’d sat as Dean had explained to him all about kissing a girl for the first time. It was where Sam had broken his arm when he was fourteen because they’d gotten into an argument and Sam had gestured too wildly and ended up falling out and right to the ground.

“Remember when you broke your arm?” Dean asked him suddenly.

It didn’t startle Sam that his brother’s thoughts were running on the same line as his. While he couldn’t read Sam’s mind like Gabriel could, they’d always been close enough to understand one another without words. At least, they had been, back before hell.

One corner of Sam’s mouth curved up. “It was your fault.”

“My fault? Dude, you were the one waving your arms like you were trying to fly!”

“You were the one who dyed almost all of my clothes _pink_.”

A grin of pure big-brother pride lit up Dean’s face. “Oh, yeah. Dude, that was hilarious.”

“Dad was _pissed_. He grounded you forever.”

Dean shrugged one shoulder. “Meh. Wasn’t like I had big plans, anyways.”

No, he hadn’t. He’d had no real plans. At least, not any that didn’t involve his little brother. Dean had spent quite a bit of time with Sam while his arm was in his cast. He’d felt guilty, Sam knew. He could remember clearly the pain in his arm when he’d fallen and the sound of the snap as bone broke. But what he remembered clearest of all was the horrified look on Dean’s face when he dropped down at Sam’s side and checked him over. He remembered how Dean had actually picked him up like he weighed nothing, like he was still some tiny little thing, and had carried him straight in to Bobby’s house. Not once did he leave Sam on the drive to the hospital or as they casted his arm. He’d stuck right by his side the whole time. “You kept me from going insane that summer. You were a good big brother.”

“Haven’t been much of one lately, have I?”

That was the last thing he’d expected. His eyes shot up to find Dean staring off through the smaller branches. His brother didn’t look at him, just kept staring out as he sighed and said “I don’t know how to do this. I’m trying here, Sammy. I really am. But it aint easy. I can’t just forget everything, y’know? Things…things haven’t been right for a while now.”

The shock of Dean actually sitting here _talking about feelings_ was almost enough to keep Sam quiet. But he’d learned a long time ago that opportunities like this didn’t come along but rarely and he had to take advantage of them when they did. This was most likely going to be his only chance for a while to make his point. “I’m not asking you to forget, Dean.” He said lowly, ducking his own head. “I know what I did. What I've done. And I am trying to climb out of that hole, I am, but…” Honesty here. He had to be honest. “…you're not making it any easier.”

He wasn’t quite sure what that sound was that Dean made, but it brought his eyes back up to him and he found Dean was actually looking down at him now. “So what am I supposed to do, just let you off the hook?”

“No. You can think whatever you want. I deserve it, and worse.” The smile Sam gave him was just a bit bitter at the edges, he knew. “Hell, you'll never punish me as much as I'm punishing myself. But, Dean…if we’re gonna work together on these plans, if we really want to be able to stop the apocalypse, something’s gotta give. If we work together, it has to be a two-way street.”

“So we just go back to the way we were before?” Dean asked.

Sam shook his head. “No, because we were never that way before. Before didn't work.” He saw the hurt flash over Dean’s face and hurried to try and explain. “How do you think we got here?”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

His tone made Sam wince. Was he doing the right thing here? He almost stopped, almost cut this off right now before he hurt Dean more than he’d already done. But…if he didn’t say this now, he might never get the chance again, and this, it needed to be said. Drawing in a breath, he steeled himself for what he was about to start. “Dean, one of the reasons I went off with Ruby...was to get away from you.”

“What?” Dean exclaimed. If he’d looked hurt before, it was nothing compared to what lit up his eyes now. His hands were clenching down on the tree branch and he’d turned almost completely towards Sam to glare down at him.

It was Sam’s turn to look away. He couldn’t look right at Dean as he admitted his own faults. “It made me feel strong. Like I wasn't your kid brother.”

“Are you saying this is my fault?”

“No, it's my fault.” This wasn’t something he’d ever push off on someone else’s shoulders. This was on him and he knew it. “This is on me. I made those choices. Ruby pushed, but I followed. The motivation doesn’t matter, or any of those other things. I accept my blame for that.”

Things fell quiet between them for a moment as his words sank in. Then, just when Sam was starting to get just a little nervous, getting ready to sneak a look up at him to try and read his face, he heard a low, humorless chuckle. “Boy, he wasn’t kidding, was he?”

Furrowing his brows, Sam looked up through his bangs. “What?”

Dean shifted on the branch and drew himself into a more comfortable position. Then he ran a hand through his hair. “Listen, Sammy. This isn’t all on you. No,” He held up a hand when Sam tried to speak. “It’s not. I did break the first seal.”

“You didn't know.” Sam said softly.

“Yeah, well, neither did you.” Dean pointed out. “I'm not saying demon blood was a great way to go, but, you did kill Lilith.”

“And start the apocalypse.”

“Which neither of us saw coming, I mean, who'd have thought killing Lilith would've been a bad thing? We’ve all done stupid things here, Sammy. Every single one of us. You, me, Bobby, Cas, most definitely your idiot trickster.” His lip curled up there, like he couldn’t quite help himself, but the fact that he restrained himself to just that gave Sam a bit of hope. “Point is, I can’t keep punishing you for something you’re doing your damndest to try and fix. And you shouldn’t keep punishing yourself either.”

The back of Sam’s eyes burned and he had to look away and blink rapidly to try and push back the threat of tears. That was the last thing he wanted. But, he’d never expected this. He’d never expected this olive branch his brother was offering him. “Thanks.”

“Yeah.” Dean reached out, ruffling his hair, smirking as Sam ducked away from him and scowled up at him. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve filled up my chick flick quota for the next five years. I’m getting out of this damn tree and going for a beer.”

“Aw, but you two look so cute up there!” Another voice called out.

Sam looked down with a smile to find Gabriel was standing under the tree, near his leg. His foot dangled somewhere close to Gabriel’s head and he contemplated for a moment trying to tip his toes forward enough to nudge him with his shoe. The look Gabriel gave him was both warning and amused. “Don’t even think about it, kiddo.”

Well, hell. Sam wasn’t sure if it was his good mood at fixing things with his brother, or if he’d just spent too much time with a trickster lately, but he found he couldn’t quite resist the challenge in those words. Almost without thought, he stretched his leg forward just the slightest bit and ran his shoe right over the top of Gabriel’s head, covering his hair in dirt. The archangel jerked back and glowered at him while Dean let out a proud laugh.

Sam should’ve known better. He shouldn’t had tried to screw around with Gabriel, with _Loki_ , of all beings.

“You little shit.” Gabriel grumbled at him. Reaching up, he caught hold of Sam’s ankle and, before Sam could say or do anything to try and stop it, he gave a _yank_. Sam made a sound that definitely wasn’t a shriek as he tried to grab at the branch to hold himself up and failed miserably. Gabriel yanked him right off the branch and was grinning broadly as he caught Sam without even a stagger despite their difference in size.

Above them, Dean was laughing so hard it was a wonder he didn’t fall off his branch as well. Sam gave them both one hell of a bitch face and, in return, got a wiggle of the eyebrows from Gabriel and a kiss to the tip of his nose. “Hey, Samshine. Fancy seeing you here.”

“Put. Me. Down.” Sam grumbled. He’d already tried squirming only to find that Gabriel’s hold was tight enough to keep him in place. There was no getting down until the annoying archangel put him down. There was no telling how long he could or would hold him for, either.

“Oh, I could manage it for quite a while. Angelic strength, handsome. And, no. I think I like you right where you are. Then again…”

It was in absolutely no way freaking hot to have Gabriel suddenly lift and move him, tugging and pushing at his limbs until he had Sam in the position that he wanted. They ended up with Sam’s legs around Gabriel’s waist and the trickster’s hands firmly cupping his ass, holding him up easily. It probably looked ridiculous. It should’ve been impossible. But, like Gabriel had said—angelic strength. As Sam looked down into gold eyes that sparkled with humor and a hint of something else, something a little darker and just a bit pleased, he couldn’t quite bring himself to be annoyed by it. Still, he couldn’t help but point out “We look ridiculous.”

One corner of Gabriel’s mouth curved upwards in that smirk that should in no way be so damn sexy. “You like it. You like being manhandled.” One of his hands slid up Sam’s back, pressing finally between his shoulder blades until it brought Sam’s face down to his. He lowered his voice until only Sam could hear him, murmuring against his lips “I could take you like this. It’d be easy. We wouldn’t even need a wall to lean against. I could hold you just like this.”

There was no denying the heat that pooled down low in his stomach at those whispered words. He’d done that before with women. Had done it with Jess. He knew how much strength it took to stand there and hold up another body without anything to help support it. The idea of Gabriel doing that with him sent a shiver down his spine.

A foot landed against Sam’s shoulder and gave a shove that sent both he and Gabriel toppling down to the ground. They both hit and rolled, ending up on their backs and both glaring up at Dean, who just hopped down from the tree with a proud smirk on his face. It was an expression that Sam hadn’t seen there for a long, long time, one of pure big brother pride at having successfully annoyed his little brother. “Go be gross somewhere I don’t have to see.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Gabriel said easily. “See you in the morning!” With a grin, he flung himself sideways at Sam. As soon as he connected, the two of them vanished, and Dean was left shaking his head. He might not like the trickster archangel all that much, and he wasn’t quite sure yet if he really wanted to trust him, but Cas trusted him, and from the sounds of things he’d saved Sam—more than once—and he cared about him. For all that, dean was willing to give him a chance. For now.

With another shake of his head, he set off to find his own angel and see if Bobby had gotten any leads on finding the other Horsemen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You probably recognize a few lines in there from Fallen idols. I borrowed a bit of their conversation from there. Hope you guys liked this!


	12. Chapter 12

Sam woke up the next morning in the guest room of Bobby’s house. He sighed against the light that was against his closed eyes, most likely what had woken him up, and snuggled down into the blankets and the warm body that was in bed with him. Gabriel was curled up against his chest and their legs were tangled together. For someone who claimed that he didn’t have to sleep—“I’m a god and an archangel, Sammich! I don’t _need_ sleep!”—he sure liked to indulge in it. He’d tried to claim once that he didn’t actually sleep. Just, sort of meditated for a while. But Sam knew better. He smiled sleepily as he listened to Gabriel’s sleepy murmurs as the trickster burrowed in against him a little more. Yeah, sure, he didn’t sleep at all. The dork.

It still kind of amazed Sam that Gabriel was here. He’d slowly been getting used to him sticking around more while the two of them were on their own. But here at Bobby’s, where it was obvious that the only people who really wanted him around were Sam and, surprisingly, Castiel, he hadn’t expected Gabriel to stick around and put up with it. Who’d want to put up with that? He would’ve understood if Gabriel had taken advantage of dropping Sam off here after their little break yesterday afternoon and then gone and done his own thing. He hadn’t, though. He’d brought Sam back and then stayed with him even with the whole awkward feel in the air.

Not that Sam was protesting. Being back with the others wasn’t easy for him and having Gabriel’s presence there helped.

Sure, after his talk in the tree with Dean, things were on the road to better there. They weren’t perfect but that was fine. That would take time. Things with Bobby were…strained. The hunter was happy to have Sam back and happy he was okay. He just wasn’t all too thrilled with Sam’s choice of companions. And Castiel might’ve been happy to have a brother around who cared about him and who wasn’t trying to kill him, but things between him and Sam had never been what one would call friendly.

Sam grimaced and buried his face a little more against the golden hair in front of him. He could only imagine what it was that Castiel saw when he looked at him. ‘ _Sam Winchester, the boy with the demon blood._ ’ That was what he’d seen when he and Sam first met. Was that all he saw now? Did he look at Sam and see the demon blood and the stained soul inside of him? Did he see just the abomination?

“If you don’t knock it off, I’m going to bite you.” Gabriel grumbled against his chest. He nipped lightly at the skin there, threat and promise.

Breath huffed out of Sam. He hadn’t realized that Gabriel had woken up.

“You’re thinking _loud_. Quit it.”

Sam pulled Gabriel in a little closer and nuzzled against his hair in apology. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I wasn’t sleeping.” Gabriel said, the heavy sleepiness in his voice contradicting his statement. He rubbed the tip of his nose over Sam’s bare chest and then pressed a kiss against the skin. “Don’t worry so much about Cassy. He’s trained to see what Heaven wants him to see, but he’s learning. He’s young.” Gabriel paused to yawn and his voice got a bit heavier. “’S too early for angst, handsome.”

“Sorry.” Sam apologized again.

“Mmm.” The arm Gabriel had flung over his side tightened suddenly and Sam found himself rolled over just enough that he was lying on top of the trickster. Immediately he shifted his weight and braced himself on one arm so as not to squish his partner. Years of being the bigger person when in bed with someone had taught him how to do that even when mostly asleep. Gabriel didn’t let him, though. He tightened his grip on Sam’s waist and wiggled them both until Sam was firmly over him and they were able to see one another’s faces. Their bodies slotted together and brought to Sam’s attention that they’d fallen asleep without any clothes on. Sleep-heavy eyes looked up at Sam with amusement and that mischievousness that Sam so loved to see. “How about you make it up to me, hm?” The way he shifted his hips, pushing one thigh up against Sam while rubbing himself up against his hip, made it pretty clear what he wanted.

Sam’s lips curved upwards. He didn’t give himself time to think overly about his answer, or about what he was going to do, knowing that Gabriel could just pluck the thought out of his head. Hard to surprise someone who could read every single thought you had. So, best as he could, he blanked his mind and grinned down at his partner. “Well, if you insist.” He teased. Then he grabbed the blankets and flung them up over his head as he ducked under and slid down.

Laughter echoed low and sleepy through the room as Sam proceeded to make it up to his partner in the best way possible.

* * *

It was almost an hour later that the two, cleaned up and dressed now, made their way downstairs. Dog followed with them, having spent the night sleeping at the foot of their bed, and Sam made sure to stop off at the front door to let him outside. “Be careful.” He warned as Dog slipped past him and onto the porch. “And stay out of the other cars. You’re small enough to get stuck.”

The look Dog gave him just reinforced Sam’s thoughts that the animal was way too smart to be just a simple dog. One of these days he’d get around to asking Gabriel about it.

While he’d let Dog out, Gabriel had gone straight to the kitchen to figure out their breakfast. Weird gods and their weird need to feed people. Sam wondered if it was a god thing, an archangel thing, or just a strange Gabriel thing. “I heard that!” Gabriel called out as Sam strolled into the room.

Sam’s lips curved with good humor. “I know.”

Bent over to look in the fridge, Gabriel cast him a look over his shoulder that was more amused than annoyed. “Sassy little shit.”

“Pot, kettle.”

Gabriel straightened up and shut the fridge door as he shook his head in mock consternation. “I’ve created a monster.”

Somehow, that word didn’t have as much sting coming from Gabriel. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he knew Gabriel didn’t really mean it as an insult. Knowing that gave Sam the ability to tease back instead of flinch from the word. “I’ve learned from the best.”

Laughter filled the room. “You are full of sass today, aren’t you?” Hands on his hips, Gabriel smirked at him, his pleasure with their teasing showing on his face. “I’ve half a mind to take you away today. A mood like this is too good to be wasted.”

Whatever reply Sam might’ve given was lost when Castiel arrived in a rustle of feathers. Sam couldn’t quite help how he took an instinctive step back from the angel. The movement wasn’t lost on Gabriel, who gave him a searching look before snapping his fingers. Sam found himself suddenly seated in a chair at the table—a table which was now covered in an array of breakfast foods. Gabriel ignored Sam’s glare at being transported and instead smiled over at the other angel. “Morning, Cassy!”

“Good morning, Gabriel.” Castiel said formally, albeit a little hesitantly.

There was something different about the angel, something that Sam couldn’t quite place. Without realizing it, Sam furrowed his brows a little, staring at him as he tried to figure it out. Castiel didn’t even acknowledge that there was anything strange about him staring. He just nodded his head in Sam’s direction and greeted him with a low, rumbling “Sam.”

“Hey, Cas.” Sam said slowly. What on earth was it that was so different about him?

A chuckle slid from Gabriel. The trickster closed the small bit of distance between them and ruffled Sam’s hair, nimbly dodging Sam’s hand as the hunter tried to smack his away. “Quit staring, Samshine. It’s rude.”

Immediate color filled Sam’s cheeks and he dropped down his gaze. “Sorry. I just…I mean…”

“I know, Cassy’s a bit distracting. He’s all new and shiny again. I gave him a top up yesterday.”

“A top up?”

The new voice came from Dean. Sam looked up as his older brother came into the room looking more awake than Sam expected. “Oh, hey, breakfast!” He made a beeline for the table when he saw all the food and coffee sitting there. Whereas Sam hadn’t served himself yet, Dean didn’t waste any time at all. He plopped down in a chair at Sam’s side and started to serve himself from the platter of eggs and the one of breakfast meats.

Gabriel watched him and rolled his eyes. “Gee, help yourself there, Deano.”

“Thanks.” Dean said with a smirk. “I will.”

Before those two could start the bickering that Sam could see building, he decided to save them and bring them back to more important things. “What do you mean, top up?” He asked Gabriel, tipping his head to look at him. He hadn’t moved from behind Sam’s chair when he’d messed up his hair before.

One of his hands settled on the back of Sam’s neck and started to rub lightly at the tension that almost always sat there.

It wasn’t Gabriel who answered, though. It was Castiel. “He restored my grace to its former glory.”

That definitely had everyone’s attention. The brothers looked up with surprise. Sam watched as Dean and Castiel’s gazes locked and his brother’s expression changed into something softer than normal. “That’s great, Cas.”

Sam leaned back a little towards Gabriel and tipped his head so he could look up at him. “That is great.” _And really nice._ His compliment got just the reaction he’d expected. Another eye roll and a small tug on his hair. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m awesome.” Gabriel said, waving his other hand. “Praise me later. Repeatedly, if you’d like.” He tipped his head and winked down at Sam.

“Oh, dude, gross. Not at the breakfast table.” Dean groaned at them.

Gabriel turned his smirk towards the older Winchester. “Jealous, Deano?”

“Of _what_?”

“Okay, okay, woah!” Sam interrupted. That was an absolutely horrible question to ask someone like Gabriel and there was no way Sam wanted to find out what kind of answer he would give, and in how much detail he’d give it. “Can we save this until I’ve at least had some coffee? Or, y’know, I’m somewhere _not_ in the middle?” he tacked that last part on for Gabriel, reminding him of the promise he’d made back at that convention to try not to argue with Dean with Sam right in the middle of them.

Gabriel remembered it then too because he cut off whatever it was he’d been planning on saying. He sighed gustily. “ _Fine_.” Reaching forward, he tapped his finger against Sam’s forehead. “Eat your breakfast, handsome. A full plate, too.”

The order was a familiar one to Sam. He saw Dean’s look of amusement over it, though, and couldn’t help but grin at his brother.

“He always like this?” Dean asked him.

“You have _no_ idea.” Sam said dryly. “Dean, meet Loki/Gabriel, the Norse god of mischief, archangel in hiding, and extreme mother hen.”

The tug to Sam’s hair was a little sharper this time. Gabriel pulled his head back until Sam was grinning up at him unrepentantly. Shaking his head, Gabriel mock glared down at him. “Watch it, kiddo. Remember—if I’m a mother hen, that makes you a baby chick, and I can make that far more a reality than you’d like.”

“Yes, Gabriel.” Sam said in his best ‘I’m innocent, don’t smite me’ voice.

Gabriel narrowed his eyes at him and gave a low growl that only served to make Sam’s smile grow a little. “Impertinent mortal.” He grumbled before letting go of him. Sam straightened his head back up and then turned his attention to the food. Mocking Gabriel was one thing. Blatantly disobeying him on something like this that he considered so ridiculously important was a line Sam wasn’t all that willing to cross. So he loaded up his plate with plenty of fresh fruit and some toast and eggs and ate it all while he listened to Dean first convince Castiel to sit down and join them and then as he tried to convince the angel to actually try and eat something, despite Castiel’s insistence that he didn’t ‘require sustenance’. Gabriel was seated at Sam’s other side, munching away on a monstrosity of a breakfast sandwich that made Sam wince just thinking about all the grease in it. Picking up on those thoughts, Gabriel smirked at him and then proceeded to take a giant bite. Sam’s lip curled up in disgust. That was just nauseating.

“Oh, c’mon, Sambo.” Gabriel said around his mouthful of food. He finished chewing and swallowed before flashing a huge grin. “Live a little. It’s delicious.”

Mouth full, Sam just cocked an eyebrow. That pile of grease and fat was most definitely _not_ his idea of delicious. Not unless he wanted to spend the rest of the day getting sick. He’d never taken well to the type of foods Dean liked. Once in a while, yes, they were fine. But if he ate like Dean he’d spend most of his time in the bathroom. His stomach didn’t take kindly to things like that.

“Huh. _I_ don’t have that problem.”

Sam swallowed his bite and shook his head. _Shut up._

“Make me.” Gabriel said before taking another large bite.

It wasn’t until Sam looked up that he realized they were being stared at. Dean was watching him confusion and concern while Castiel was simply looking back and forth between Sam and Gabriel with something that might be curiosity. Uncomfortable, Sam leaned back just a little, unconsciously shifting his weight towards Gabriel. “What?”

“I think we freaked out our brothers, Sammy boy.” Humor rang in Gabriel’s voice.

“Dude.” Dean said, shifting his gaze to Gabriel and then back to Sam. “No strange telepathic conversations no one else can understand.”

Oh! Sam flushed a little as he realized what had happened. He hadn’t stopped to think about the fact that Dean and Castiel were stuck with a half conversation going on. “Sorry.” He apologized honestly. “I wasn’t trying to exclude you guys. I’ve just gotten so used to him responding to my thoughts that I don’t always bother with answering out loud anymore. Especially when eating.”

“It doesn’t bother you, having him in your head all the time?” Dean asked. His question was both surprised and curious.

Sam shrugged one shoulder. “It did, sort of, at first. I just adjusted to it quickly. Sometimes, _sometimes_ …” He stressed it the second time, glancing Gabriel’s way to make sure he understood that was for him. “…it makes things easier. I don’t even really notice it anymore.”

Shuddering, Dean shook his head. “That’d drive me insane.”

“Short drive.” Gabriel quipped.

That was how the rest of breakfast went. Just a steady stream of banter and mockery that was only slightly strained around the edges. The talks between everyone yesterday hadn’t made everything perfect. They had, however, started them on the road of healing. While there was still so much between them all, so many things that still should be said between Sam and Dean, the door was open now. They could make that effort. They _were_ making that effort. Dean was trying; holding back some of the nastier remarks that Sam could tell he wanted to say, restraining himself from sneering openly at the way Sam and Gabriel were with each other. He was trying, and that meant more to Sam than anything. He’d never thought he would get to have this again.

When Bobby joined them, conversation didn’t break, but it did dim slightly, and Sam found himself leaning towards Gabriel once more. The archangel sensed his agitation and responded by shifting his chair just the slightest bit and slinging his arm around the back of Sam’s chair. It let him prop his elbow up on the back of it and reach his fingers up to toy with the long strands of hair there.

Bobby gaze cooled a little at that gesture and the look he gave them showed just how hard he was restraining himself. Grabbing his wheels, he started to wheel himself in towards the living room. “If you girls are done gossiping, maybe we could finally get to work on these crazy assed plans of yours.”

Wincing, Sam watched him go, and then turned to look back at the table. He caught Dean’s gaze and was bolstered slightly by the sympathetic look he got. “He’ll come around.” Dean tried to reassure him. It would’ve worked better if he sounded like he actually believed it.

Sam smiled half-heartedly. “Yeah.”  Suddenly, his breakfast wasn’t quite so appealing anymore. He set down his fork and pushed his plate back. He’d gotten about half of it all eaten, which wasn’t the full plate that Gabriel had demanded, but he didn’t think he could put anything else in his stomach. “We should probably get to work. I’ll go grab my laptop so you guys can see what I’ve found so far.”

As he left the room, he heard Gabriel’s low growl behind him, and the soft warning he gave to Dean. “I set your head on straight – this time it’s your turn. Fix it, before I do. You know I won’t be as nice.”

“Bobby’ll come around. He’s worried about Sam; it’s _you_ he doesn’t trust.”

“Then let him take it out on me, not him.”

Whatever was said next, Sam missed, too far away to hear it. He slipped outside and headed over to the car to get his laptop out of the trunk. They hadn’t exactly unloaded anything. Gabriel had snapped in his bag with clothes and toiletries last night but he’d left the weapons bag and laptop out in the car. Once again, as Sam moved the weapons to get to his laptop, he thought to himself that he really should just break down and install something to hide the weapons before he got pulled over and busted one day. Might be a good idea to do it while he was here at Bobby’s.

Dog came running up to him while he was closing the trunk and he took a moment to scratch behind the dog’s ears. He wagged his tail and gave a happy bark before dropping down to follow at Sam’s side. The hunter smiled down at him. “All right then, c’mon. We can’t exactly hide out here.” No matter how much he wanted to.

When they made their way back inside, it was to find that breakfast had been cleared and everyone was gathered in the living room. Bobby was at his desk, no real surprise there, and Dean was on the couch, while Gabriel was perched in his own chair near the empty end of the couch. Castiel was standing by the bookcase, fingers trailing over the spines of a few books, a look of concentration on his face. Chewing on his bottom lip, Sam made his way in to the open seat next to Dean. He hesitated only briefly before he sat down. Dog showed no hesitation and raced right over to Gabriel, hopping up in his lap and making himself at home. Gabriel just lifted a hand and started to scratch behind his ears.

“So,” Dean said, breaking the silence over the room. “We’re hunting Horsemen, then?”

Sam nodded as he set his laptop on his lap and opened it. “Yeah. We’ve already got War’s; I’ve been trying to figure out a way to track Pestilence or Famine. Mostly so far I’ve been doing a lot of research and Gabe’s been helping me sort what’s real and what isn’t. I’ve been trying to find anything to help.”

“We handled War easily enough, these two shouldn’t be too hard.” As usual, Dean was confident, his tone suggesting that there wasn’t really anything that could get in their way.

“These aint just your regular monsters, boy.” Bobby reminded him, rolling his eyes at the older Winchester. “These’re _Horsemen_. You got lucky with War.”

“There’s tons of lore on the Horsemen, but not really anything about how to take them out.” Sam said, tapping a few keys on the keyboard to access what little information he’d found so far. “I’ve been looking as best as I can but I keep coming up blank.”

There was a low snort from the side of the room. “We might’ve been a lot further on this if you’d bothered to pick up the phone and call once in a while.” Bobby pointed out just a little sharply.

Sam hunched his shoulders and dropped his gaze down. He could feel it as the whole room tensed a little and he knew someone was going to say something if he didn’t. He also knew this had to be brought out in the open now, before it went much further. He couldn’t stay in a place with this much tension all the time. He just couldn’t. “Honestly?” He said softly, still not looking up. “I wasn’t sure you’d answer.”

He snuck a look up and saw open shock on Bobby’s face. It quickly transformed to annoyance, a kind that Sam recognized from many a time over the years when Bobby would glare at one of them after they’d said something he considered particularly stupid. “Why the hell wouldn’t I answer, ya idjit? I don’t care what happens or what you’ve done, you’re family, and family don’t give up on each other.”

The sharp reminder, said so openly and so simply, was both reprimand and comfort. Sam warmed inside a little even as he ducked his head once more. “Sorry, Bobby. I just, I wasn’t in the best frame of mind.”

“That’s an understatement.” Dean said lowly.

He probably hadn’t meant for Sam to hear his words, saying them as low as he had, but they were just loud enough for Sam to catch. He might’ve taken offense to them, thought that Dean was insulting him, if he hadn’t been able to hear the aching quality to those words, one that left him with no doubt as to what his brother was referring to.

He turned slowly to look at Gabriel, who was leaning back in his seat and eating a package of pop rocks with apparent unconcern for the conversation around him. Sam glared at him. “You told him.”

The trickster didn’t even deny it. “Yep.” He made his lips pop on the ‘p’.

“That wasn’t your place to tell him.” Sam snapped, temper pulsing in him. That wasn’t something that he’d wanted Dean to know about! There was no reason that Dean should’ve ever had to know about that. The only thing it’d do would hurt him. Why on earth would Sam want to tell him something that would only cause him pain? Dean was the type of person to blame himself for something like that and feel guilty. That wasn’t what Sam wanted at all.

One of Gabriel’s eyebrows lifted. “Like you were gonna do it.”

“It was my business, my decision, not yours!”

This time both eyebrows went up and there was a flash of power in his eyes that was a warning. “Anything that concerns you is my business, handsome. You’re _mine,_ remember? He needed to know so he didn’t come up with any more fabulous one liners that might push your broken little mind back down that path. I’ve worked too hard to pull you away from it. You don’t get to die until I’m good and ready to let you go.” There was threat and promise both in that.

Sam was caught between warring emotions after that speech. He was furious—and justifiably so, he believed—that Gabriel had interfered in things like that and told Dean something that he never should’ve told him. What good would come from telling Dean that Sam had killed himself? All it would do would give Sam yet another rabid watchdog. At this rate, any privacy he’d ever even hoped of having was going to be gone. No one was going to leave him alone. Yet, there was no denying that a part of him felt both soothed and reassured by that fierce protection that Gabriel gave him.

“Yours?” Bobby’s sharp voice interrupted Sam’s thoughts. He looked up, surprised by just how annoyed Bobby sounded, only to find the grizzled hunter giving Gabriel his best glare. “What do you mean, yours?”

“I’m pretty sure you know exactly what I mean.” Gabriel said easily. The slight sharpness that had been there before was gone now and was replaced with laughter. Tipping his head back, he dumped in what was left of his pop rocks, the crackle of the candy echoing in the room.

Bobby winced and swore lowly. “ _Balls_!” His glare shifted from Gabriel over to Sam. “Are you stupid, boy? You let yourself get claimed by a _god_? A _trickster_?”

“And archangel.” said trickster added in, sounding smug.

“Does he even know what you did?” Bobby demanded.

“What do you mean?” Dean interrupted, gaze suddenly sharpening at the potential threat to his little brother. Sam sat up a little straighter, wanting the answer to that as well. He had his suspicions; he’d had them for a while now. But this was the first time it would come out in the open like this.

Bobby shot a disgusted look at the trickster and then spun towards Dean. “He’s an archangel and a pagan god. You think there aint repercussions when something with that kinda power lays claim on someone? Someone who apparently don’t even know better’n to resist? I bet he took something from you, didn’t he?”

He demanded the last part of Sam, who was suddenly caught up in his own thoughts while a few things clicked into place. “Sacrifice.” Sam murmured. His mind drifted to that first time, when Gabriel had laid him out on the bed and dragged his release from him almost violently. That night when Sam had struggled only briefly before surrendering himself. And, oh, Gabriel had accepted that surrender with great satisfaction. It wasn’t something that he demanded every time they were together. Sometimes, things were just fun between them, a playful give and take. But there were times where they would fall into that fight, that rush of trying to take down the other, take them apart, and Sam would fight and fight with everything he had until there was nothing left in him, no choice but to surrender, and he would give himself over wholly and happily to the being he trusted with everything he had.

He saw the flash of heat in Gabriel’s eyes as he followed along the trail of Sam’s memories with him. Dark promise glittered in those heated golden depths that sent a shiver down Sam’s spine and reminded him that this being was far more pagan than archangel sometimes.

Oblivious to the moment between the two, Bobby made a sound that was almost a growl. “Damn right, sacrifice. Dammit, boy, didn’t you think? There aint no stopping his claim on you. You’re his, hook, line and sinker. We can’t change that.”

“It is not as bad as you fear, Robert.” Castiel interjected, speaking up for the first time. “Sam will not be harmed by it.”

“Think of it like an engagement ring.” Gabriel suggested with a chuckle. Unlike everyone else, he seemed to be enjoying this whole thing. His eyes glittered with laughter as he looked over at Sam, winking at him and then looking back at the others. “Well, with a side order of one really protective bodyguard. I’ve claimed him as mine, put him under my protection. None of the pagans would be dumb enough to mess with him. It won’t matter to Luci, of course, but it’ll matter to the other gods.”

“Engagement ring? You trying to marry my brother, Gabriel?” Dean asked it like he was joking, but Gabriel responded like he was serious, answering without a hint of laughter to his words. “Table that conversation till after the apocalypse.”

A look passed between the two and they shared a nod of understanding.

Abruptly, Gabriel scooped up Dog and set him on the ground and then pushed up to his feet. “Well! Fun as this has been, I’ve got to go speak with Coyote and see about picking up a few more ingredients for things we need. You humans behave now.” Leaning over, he grabbed the front of Sam’s shirt and used it to yank him up just enough to slam a fierce kiss against his lips, hard and hot, with just a hint of teeth. When he let go, Sam dropped back down, a little stunned and slightly dizzy. Gabriel seemed satisfied by that reaction judging by how big his smirk was. “Stay outta trouble, Samsquatch. I’ll pop back in by bedtime.”

With a snap, he was gone, leaving everyone just staring.

Dean was the one to break the silence. Snorting, he shook his head. “Let’s get to work.”

* * *

That set the routine for the next few days. They stayed at Bobby’s, doing as much research as they could on how to take down Horsemen while Bobby put out feelers to try and _find_ the Horsemen, while Gabriel spent chunks of the day out taking care of his end of things. He didn’t really tell them what he did. While Sam was used to that, and wasn’t bothered, it seemed to bug the others. Sam learned to just zone them out. It helped that Dean wasn’t all that fond of research and often slipped outside to go and work on Baby while Bobby and Sam poured over books. Castiel offered some help here and there, but his time was consumed with his search for his Father, a search that Gabriel turned his nose up at. Castiel had asked him only once for help and Gabriel had told him plainly “Dad won’t be found unless He _wants_ to be found. No point wasting energy searching for him. He stopped caring a long time ago, bucko.”

That was the only time Castiel bothered asking. Even he picked up on the hurt and bitterness in Gabriel’s voice.

It was on their third evening there that Sam dreamt of Lucifer. It wasn’t like his usual dreams. They didn’t meet and talk. This was a vision, a true dream, and Sam knew it.

The last thing he remembered clearly was the group of them all sitting in the living room after Bobby had declared he was heading off to bed. Gabriel had firmly declared they needed to unwind a little and had snapped up an extra wide recliner for him, Sam and Dog to sprawl on, relegating Castiel and Dean to the couch, and he’d made the TV bigger before putting on Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Sam remembered seeing as far as the scene where Cameron was freaking out inside of his car before sleep really dragged him under. He didn’t register Gabriel reclining the seat, or adjusting their position. He just knew that he was suddenly warmer and his head was pillowed on a familiar chest. Sighing, he slipped his arm over Gabriel’s waist, turning in towards him and burrowing down.

From his spot on the couch, Dean watched with amusement and only a small grimace. Though he mocked his brother any time he was with someone, and he wasn’t all that pleased with his choice of partners, there was no way he could deny just how at ease and happy Sammy looked right there. The giant was wrapped up against Gabriel’s side as if it was the most natural thing in the world and he looked, peaceful. It was a look that Dean hadn’t seen there for a long time. When he looked up, he found Gabriel watching him, his expression shuttered as if he were preparing for some smart remark. Dean hesitated, countless warnings and threats running through his mind, not quite sure if he really wanted to say them, but then Gabriel nodded at him and Dean knew—he’d heard all his threats, all his warnings, and was nodding his agreement. Dean nodded back and turned back to the movie.

All of that happened over Sam’s head without him realizing. He was floating in the warm arms of sleep, content, for most of the movie. It wasn’t until the end that things started to happen. As the regular dream faded away and the other dream took its place. He never felt it as Dog suddenly stood up and turned around in Gabriel’s legs to push right up towards Sam’s face, nosing at him and whining. He didn’t notice as Gabriel’s gaze sharpened on them both.

It was the clearest vision that Sam had ever had. He felt like he was there, right inside of Lucifer as the ritual was performed and the town of Carthage sacrificed to raise Death from his cage beneath the earth. He felt Lucifer’s happiness at this next step in his plan, happiness tinged by a madness and a pain so deep Sam felt like he would be consumed by it. It reached down into him, gripping at his soul, and his soul cried out from it.

Lucifer stood atop a hill with the bodies of an entire town behind him and Death gripped by invisible bonds in front of him and he laughed. And as he laughed, Sam cried, lost under the feel of his cold grace in every inch of him and waves of _fearpainlovehatealonealonealone_.

He was still crying as the vision faded away and the real world returned around him. At first, he didn’t register anything. _Couldn’t_ register it beyond the emotions still burning so coldly inside of him. He hadn’t just watched as Lucifer, he’d be a part of him, feeling as he felt, seeing as he saw, and the intensity of those emotions, the strength of them, was just too much. Sam’s whole body felt cold in a way he’d never known before, so cold that it actually burned.

Something warm was on his cheeks. It was holding him, cradling him like he was something precious, when al he felt was alone and afraid and _broken_.

_Not alone_ , the warmth whispered to him. And faintly, oh so faintly, he heard the echo of it in words, words whispered right up against his lips, so softly he had to strain to hear them. “…not alone, Sammy. I’m right here. Come back to me, Samshine, right back here, I’ve got you…”

He knew that voice. Knew that touch on his face. _Gabriel_.

That realization brought with it an immediate sense of safety. If the archangel was here, he was safe. He wouldn’t let anything happen to Sam. Holding on to that, anchoring in it, Sam let it lead him out of the last dregs of the vision and draw him back into reality. Slowly he became aware that he was lying flat on his back with a warm and solid body stretched out over top of him. His shoulders were being firmly pinned down by a pair of arms that were much, much stronger than they looked, and warm hands were holding his face, keeping him still as Gabriel pressed their foreheads together and murmured his steady stream of reassurances against his lips. Sam focused on those touches, on the gentle firmness of his words, on the sweet scent of candy and popcorn on his breath, all normal things that helped him remember that he was _here_ , and he was _Sam_ , and he was _safe_.

Sam opened his eyes finally and found Gabriel’s glowing golden eyes right there in front of his. They were right there, fixed right on him, and it was like that one final piece of things clicked into place. It was like a switch flipped and the rest of the world returned around him. He could hear Dean calling out to him, demanding to know what was going on, and Castiel’s voice trying to talk him down, and then he thought he heard Bobby’s voice added to the mix. It was all too much and Sam was afraid he was going to be lost under this as well. His hands twitched uselessly at his sides and a name trembled on his lips. “G-Gabe…”

“I got ya, kiddo.” Gabriel soothed him. And he did. He had him and Sam knew it. Huffing out a shaky breath, he nodded ever so slightly and let go of some of the tension that held him. As he did, he gave a full bodied shiver, that cold still inside of him.

Without breaking Sam’s gaze, Gabriel called out a low “Castiel” that shouldn’t have been able to be heard over the other voices, and yet suddenly the angel was right there beside them. The archangel kept his gaze on Sam. “Get them to quiet down. I’ll explain in a minute. And have them collect blankets. I could snap them up, but I think that something that feels more of home might help right now.”

The younger angel immediately moved to do as Gabriel had commanded. That hadn’t been a request, either, but most definitely a command. Later, Sam might be curious about that. Right then, all his attention was turning to the shivers that were making his whole body shake and the icy cold that wasn’t going away. Gabriel’s body felt so warm against his and Sam pressed towards it to try and combat the cold. Gabriel went with it, slipping his hands off Sam’s cheeks and then using them to twist them, drawing Sam against him into the position that they’d started this all in, with Sam draped over Gabriel, ear pillowed over his chest and Gabriel’s arms wrapped around him, holding him in close. As soon as he was situated, Castiel was there, draping blankets over him, one right after the other, all the familiar quilts that Sam had seen over the years when they’d stayed here.

He wasn’t surprised to see Dean there as well, straightening out the blankets over his legs, which were twined round with Gabriel’s. His brother’s eyes caught his and the worry there had Sam feeling bad. He tried to reassure him, but the shivers made it hard to talk. “I’m f-f-fin-ne.”

“You will be.” Gabriel said firmly. He drew the blankets in a little better and tucked them towards Sam’s chest. “We just need to warm you up first. Popsicle is not a good look for you, Gigantor.” He snapped his fingers and suddenly the blankets became so much warmer, hot water bottles now behind his knees and against his back.

“What the hell happened?” Dean demanded.

“L-Lucif-f-fer.” Sam stammered out past his chattering teeth. “D-Dream.”

Gabriel’s hand rubbed over his arm and the trickster took over for him. “Not just a dream. You guys, connected, I guess would be the best term for it. A vision, just stronger, cause he’s an angel and you’re his vessel and there’s that connection there. You weren’t just with him, you were _feeling_ him.”

“That is why he is so cold.” Castiel said with realization.

“Yep. Luci always did run cold.”

“Wait, wait, wait a second.” There was a shuffling sound as Dean moved closer to them. “You’re saying he had some freaky vision dream thing and _connected_ with Lucifer? Why? Did he do this? Pull Sammy in or something?”

The word ‘freaky’ had Sam flinching, which had Gabriel giving him a small squeeze. “Luci didn’t do this.” Gabriel told them. “I think…” For a moment, he sounded hesitant, like he wasn’t quite sure, but it was just faint and Sam doubted that anyone else here would’ve even heard it in his voice. Then it was gone and he continued on in a much firmer tone. “I think they were both just open at just the right time and Sam’s psychic abilities just latched onto it.”

“I thought those visions stopped?” Bobby asked, voice gruff with worry.

“They’re a part of him.” Gabriel told them. “They were a part of him from the day he was born. They don’t just go away because you want them to. Even if they go dormant, or get locked away, they’re still _there_. But you’re focusing on the wrong thing here. How it happened isn’t important. What’s important is what he saw. The ritual’s complete—Death has risen, and he’s bound to Lucifer.”

The room went quiet at that. Sam’s shivers had finally started to slow. The heat was soaking in finally and making him feel heavy. His eyelids didn’t want to stay open. He knew he should stay awake, should talk with them about this, but sleep was calling him. A warm hand brushed over his forehead and he heard Gabriel’s murmured “Sleep, Samshine” and then everything went dark.

This time, when he slept, there were no dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, we get back to business, and we’ll see the boys out on a case and deal with my version of events with Anna.


	13. Chapter 13

The next day found the stressed out household with something new to focus on. Not information about the Horsemen, but … “A case?” Sam said, looking up from where he was reading on the couch to focus on his big brother. He’d spent most of the morning there, at least, once Gabriel had had made sure he’d eaten a full sized breakfast, one that Dean had cooked. The younger Winchester knew that that was his brother’s way of trying to take care of him after feeling helpless last night.

The trickster had pampered Sam for most of the morning—without actually admitting that was what he was doing, of course. He’d made sure Sam ate, that he was comfortable on the couch and not still feeling last night’s chill, and he made sure that no one came and bugged him about his dream. When Sam mentioned that, he’d just smiled and told him “I took care of it last night. They know what’s up; no need to bug you about it.”

Protective, possessive bastard. Sam didn’t let him see him smile over that.

That would explain why the air of the house had been subdued. Not just because he’d had a vision dream that had scared the hell out of everyone, but also because they all knew now that Death had risen.

The remnants of that dream left Sam just slightly chilled still. Not enough to worry about, or to cause him to do more than add an extra sweater, but it stayed on his mind and wouldn’t quite let him go. So far he had seen so many sides of Lucifer. But last night, seeing the madness that lay in his mind, feeling how utterly _alone_ Lucifer was in ways Sam had never known before, it made Sam ache for him even more than he had before. He could feel the raw spot inside of Lucifer that screamed from the emptiness. A place that Sam instinctively knew the Host had once occupied. When Lucifer had been cast down, he’d also been cut off, no longer able to feel his brothers and sisters, and there was such a vast pool of loneliness it had Sam wanting to just wrap him up in his arms and reassure him that he wasn’t alone the way that Gabriel had done for him last night.

_That_ definitely wasn’t a thought he planned on sharing with the house. The last thing he needed was for Dean or Bobby to find out that Sam had sympathy for the devil. He doubted they’d be okay with that.

With how they were walking on eggshells around him, he really hadn’t expected Dean to come up to him today with a case.

“Yep, a case.” Dean told him. He leaned back against Bobby’s desk and laid it out for him. “You remember Dad’s old friend, Martin?”

Sam’s eyebrows went up with surprise. “Yeah. He saved Dad’s ass more times than I can count. He’s a great Hunter.”

“Was. Until Albuquerque.”

They both winced a little at that. Yeah, that…that hadn’t been great. It was one of those things that Hunters didn’t really like to talk about. One of those instances that showed what could happen to a Hunter in this life. Sam saw Gabriel’s curious gaze out of the corner of his eye and he pulled up a sort of mental rundown of who Martin was and what had happened, letting those memories drift to the surface. It took only seconds and he saw Gabriel give a small nod of understanding.

The whole exchange was lost on Dean. He crossed his arms over his chest and either saw nothing, or just ignored what he saw. “Well, anyways, the facility he’s staying at, I guess they’re having some problems there. He’s not sure what it is, but he’s sure it’s something. Now, all things considered, I know he’s not the most reliable of witnesses, but his instincts used to be spot on. I figure it’s at least worth checking out, y’know? And it might do us some good to get out of here. Go hunt something.”

Sam knew his brother better than pretty much anyone. He knew exactly what Dean was offering here. This was a way for them to reconnect in the only way that either of them knew—through a hunt. It was what they’d known their whole life. The common thing that drew them together over and over as they got older. This was what their life had been about since the night that their mother died. But while it warmed him, it also worried him. This would be the first hunt they’d gone on together since their split. Was he ready for this? Could they do it? Could they work together?

A warm hand settled on his leg and he looked over to find Gabriel giving him one of those rare, softer smiles. “You should go for it, Sasquatch. A hunt would do you good.” The softness faded and a hint of his usual smirk peeked through. “Even if it is in the loony bin.”

“What about you?” Sam couldn’t help but ask.

The hand on his leg patted before letting go. “I’ve got some things to take care of anyways. We can leave Dog here with Singer; I’m sure he’ll love the company.”

“Shouldn’t we be here helping him try to find the Horsemen?” Sam asked his brother.

It wasn’t Dean who answered, nor Gabriel. It was Bobby. “I’m fine doin’ research.” He told them as he wheeled his way into the room. “Go. Get outta my house.”

Well, that settled it. Sam closed the book he held and tried not to let his nerves show on the outside. No need for anyone else to know just how nervous the idea of riding in a car with his brother and working a case with him made him feel. He lifted his chin and made himself smile slightly. “When do we leave?”

* * *

Hours later, the brothers were together in the impala, heading towards their case without any angelic companions. There was AC/DC on the radio to cover up the silence that had fallen once they finished talking about the case. Sam had been surprised by how that had gone. If they ignored all the personal things lying between them right now, it was easy to just focus on the case ahead of them. Neither brother was all that inclined to do anymore ‘caring and sharing’ after their talk out at the tree. Sam was content to just focus on the case. The rest of it, he was still too unsure, still a little on edge after his vision dream, to really want to start with anything else emotional. They were both practiced at pushing aside issues for the hunt. It was easy to slip back into that old mindset and do it here.

Still, it felt a little odd to once more be sitting in _his_ seat in the impala. He’d gotten surprisingly used to his own car lately. To driving. It felt weird to be the one in the passenger seat. To look over and see Dean driving instead of glancing over to find Gabriel curled up near him. Or to hear the music playing instead of either the silence or the incessant chatter that came with riding with the trickster. Sam’s lips curved a little as he thought of it. Gabriel could be quiet if he wanted, though Sam had originally been shocked to realize it. But when he got going, when he was in the mood to talk, he could really _talk_. He’d fill the car with stories of the past, detailed accounts of bits of history or of the pranks he’d played over his existence, and his hands would gesture wildly. If he had a sucker in hand, he’d use it to jab the air to stress a point, or wave it off to the side, and Sam had ducked countless times to avoid getting hit in the arm or the cheek with the sticky treat.

“Been a long time since we’ve this.” Dean said suddenly, surprising Sam out of his thoughts. He looked over at his big brother and arched an eyebrow. Okay, so maybe they _weren’t_ avoiding personal conversation. That was…odd. Sam twisted his hands together briefly before he forced them flat in his lap. “Yeah, it has.”

“Probably feels weird after flying all over the place with _Loki_.”

Gabriel had insisted that they refer to him as Loki if they had to talk about him at all. He was still technically undercover and Sam had to admit that it was a good idea to keep him that way. Best if no one knew he was alive and working with them until it was too late to do anything to stop it. Sam didn’t have any problems with it. Sometimes, he still had a bit of issue thinking of Loki as Gabriel. There were still times that ‘Loki’ came to his lips instead. Luckily, it never seemed to bother his lover. He’d answer to either one from Sam without hesitation.

Tipping his head a little, Sam shrugged. “We don’t really fly places.”

“What?”

“At first, he just kind of showed up, inviting himself along wherever I went. I’d just find him in the passenger’s seat in the morning no matter what kind of wards or such I tried to put on the car. Then, when he started spending more time with me…” Sam paused and shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t know. He’s never really protested the car. He doesn’t even really drive unless I need it.”

“You’re telling me he’s just content to ride around all the time in the car with you?”

Sam nodded. “Pretty much.”

“I would’ve thought he’d be trying to snap you guys all over the place.”

“No, not really.” A small smile touched Sam’s lips. “I think he likes having the perfect audience—one that can’t escape.”

“Dude. Cas can’t stand riding in the car. He wants to fly us _everywhere._ ”

“Loki likes indulging in human things more than most. It amuses him.”

Dean shook his head at that like he couldn’t quite understand it. Then again, he probably couldn’t. Sam had a feeling that the only reason it was so easy for him was that he’d grown used to it. Back when Gabriel had first joined up with him, a lot of it had amazed or amused him, or straight up confused him. Now they were just the little quirks that helped make up a being he cared about way, way too much. _A being that I’m apparently engaged to_ , he thought to himself, remembering the conversation at Bobby’s about being claimed by Gabriel. Or, more accurately, by Loki, by his pagan half. Sam smothered a snort of amusement. It was like dating someone with multiple personalities. Only, both the personalities wanted him, both of them were extremely powerful, and both were amazing and dangerous in their own ways. Why was he so attracted to dangerous partners? He’d had a type, once. Sweet, kind, funny, strong. _Jess._

He’d changed from the man he’d been back then. Back then, he’d needed that sweetness, that light. She’d been like a beautiful beacon of calm and beauty after a childhood of chaos and darkness. But life since he’d lost her had changed him and shaped him into who he was now. The man he was now, they never would’ve been together, he and her. He was too messed up, too dangerous. Someone that innocent—he couldn’t taint someone like that.

That wasn’t an issue with Gabriel. Archangel he may be, he was tainted in his own way. He’d run away from Heaven so long ago and threw himself into the life of the pagans. Sam knew that he’d done some pretty dark things as Loki. The life of a pagan wasn’t all sunshine and daisies. He’d found his darkness, embraced it, _reveled_ in it. There was blood on his hands that wouldn’t ever wash away and that he knew left him feeling so guilty sometimes. He’d seen it in those golden eyes on the few occasions that they’d talked about some of it. He and Gabriel were so much alike in those aspects. Both runaways, both hurt little brothers who’d idolized their big brothers. They’d both lost themselves in the dark, did horrible things while they were there. Granted, not on the same scale, but still.

Sam slid down in his seat a little and watched the trees go past, not even noticing that he’d drifted in his thoughts and left his conversation with his brother behind, a brother who kept casting worried looks his way. He was too caught up in his own thoughts.

Yeah, he was different from the boy he’d once been, just as Gabriel was different from the archangel he’d once been. Their time in the darkness had changed them. They were healing, though. Making amends. They were both trying to find their way back to the light.

* * *

This was the first time that they’d ever taken a case in a mental hospital like this. Sam had to admit, it was amusing to get into a case by telling the truth instead of a lie for once. Instead of concocting some crazy story to get into somewhere, they had set up a meeting with the doctor at the hospital and all Sam had needed to do was tell the truth. He told the doctor about his depression, about Lilith and Ruby and the apocalypse—all of it. Then Dean had told the doctor “See what I mean, Doc? The kid's been beating himself up about this for months. The apocalypse wasn't his fault.” It wasn’t that hard for Dean to get admitted right along with him.

Even if it had just been a line, a part of their story to get them in here, hearing Dean say it wasn’t his fault had warmed a part of Sam.

Once inside, they found Martin, and the trio talked quietly away from others about the suicides that Martin suspected were more. It was kind of hard to believe someone whose only witnesses were, well, for lack of a better term, _crazy_. It really didn’t help that Martin wasn’t all that there, either. The man wasn’t who he’d once been.

Things didn’t take long to go south. Their first death happened that night, with Sam and Dean right there outside the room unable to get in in enough time to help.

Slipping down to the morgue to take a look at the body was a little easier than Sam had expected inside a hospital that was supposed to watch its patients’ every move. What he found there wasn’t something he’d come across before. What kind of creature sucked a person’s brain _dry_?

There wasn’t time to look at more than that. They’d been caught, luckily once they’d hidden the evidence of what they’d been doing down there, and after some quick thinking on Dean’s part—Sam was never, ever, _ever_ going to let his brother forget that he’d yanked down his pants and cried ‘pudding’. He was going to have so much fun springing random pudding cups on him for the rest of his natural life—they were escorted back to their room with less than half the night left to sleep in.

Sam honestly didn’t expect to see Gabriel at all during the case. The way his trickster had talked—and wow, when on earth had he started labeling him as _his trickster_ in his mind?—he was going to be busy while Sam was working. Plus, mental hospitals weren’t exactly somewhere a person could randomly join them and not really be noticed. They were all watched pretty intently.

So when he fell into bed, just barely getting himself tucked in, it was a surprise to feel a sudden weight behind him only seconds after he’d pulled the blankets up. Hunting instincts had his body tensing almost immediately, only to relax as he heard an extremely familiar chuckle. He let his body melt down into the bed as a warm kiss was pressed against a bit of skin peeking out through hair on the back of his neck. “Hey, handsome. Didn’t think I was gonna leave you alone in here, did you?”

When Sam opened his mouth to answer, he was cut off by a nip against his neck. “Shh. No one else can see or hear me, but they can you.”

_They already think I’m crazy_. Sam thought with a hint of humor.

Gabriel echoed his humor with a smirk that Sam could feel. “True.” Pressing forward, he moved more _over_ Sam instead of _beside_ him.

The feel of him draped over Sam’s back was a familiar weight that had the hunter relaxing. It was a way of laying that Gabriel seemed to truly enjoy. Sometimes he liked to reverse it, lying on his back and pulling Sam over his front like he was a big blanket, but more often than not they ended up like this with Gabriel draped over his back, his lips against Sam’s neck or his shoulder or sometimes trailing over the pearl string of his spine. It was a good thing Sam preferred to sleep on his stomach anyways. He gave a low hum of content as Gabriel settled over him now. _I thought you were busy?_

“I haven’t seen you since you left. That’s _all day_ , Samshine.” And that was almost sweet, until he added “Dad knows what kind of trouble you could get yourself into in that kind of time.” One hand slid down under the blankets to give a good grope. “Gotta make sure the goods are safe.”

Sam was far too used to that to do anything other than chuckle and burrow down a little more into his pillow. _Perv._

“Aw, but I’m _your_ perv.”

_So you just came here for a few gropes and some innuendos?_

Warm breath tickled his neck as Gabriel chuckled. He nosed at Sam’s neck, brushing past hair until he had a better angle to taste the skin there. “I think it’s cute how you sound surprised by that. Though,” He huffed, shifting around a little in a way that was just promising enough to make Sam lament their location. Then Gabriel continued to speak and Sam forgot all about the interest his body had taken in things and his mind went fully back to the case. “I didn’t really expect to have to clear out Wraith crap from your system. Don’t you know better than to let them touch you?”

_A Wraith? We’ve never come across one before._

There was a pause and then he felt Gabriel sigh. “I just ruined my own cuddle-and-tease-Sammy time, didn’t I?” His shook his head and nipped at Sam’s skin. “It’s what you’re hunting here. That hole you found in dead guy’s head? Wraiths have a long, organic spike in their wrists that they shove in a person’s head to feed on their brain juices. Crazy brains are extra juicy. You’ll need some silver to kill it.”

_What did you mean by Wraith crap in my system?_

“Really? You’ve never even read about them?” This time his sigh was bigger, like it was so hard to answer Sam’s questions, like Sam asked _so much_ of him. Quick fingers pinched his backside and made him jump. “Shut up. I’m only answering your questions because you’re an idiot and you don’t have access to resources here. A Wraith touches you, they sort of poison you. It messes with your emotions, makes you see things, builds up all the crazy in your head so they get a better dinner.”

Sam wrinkled his nose at that. _Gross._

“Meh. There’s grosser out there. _But_ , I happen to like your brain the way it is, so try not to let it get turned into a five course meal for her, all right?”

How strange was his life when a comment like that made him chuckle? _I’ll try._ Mentally, he logged away the information Gabriel had given him, plus the little bit he’d let slip. There was nothing more that could be done tonight, it was unlikely she’d kill again in the same night, and he had faith that Gabriel would tell him if she was planning on it. Though he wasn’t the type to help out on a hunt, he wouldn’t withhold information and let people die. Sam was sure of that. He was too good to let innocents die.

He felt Gabriel go very, very still against his back. Like, not even _breathing_ still. Which, okay, he didn’t need to breathe, but he still did it. Sam was stunned completely when he felt Gabriel’s face press against him and heard the soft words whispered against his skin like a shameful secret. “You have too much faith in me. More than I do.”

_That’s okay._ Sam thought, smiling a little though he knew Gabriel couldn’t see it. _I can have enough for both of us until you find yours again._

“Sap.” There was a thick note to the teasing word, though, that told him he’d touched his lover more than Gabriel was ready to admit to. The weight on his back snuggled impossibly closer and Sam’s body felt warm and heavy with the sleep that was creeping over him. “Go to sleep, Samshine. I’ll pop in and clear out your brother’s system before I leave and then you two can figure out a way to take out your nurse.” Fingers came up and ghosted over Sam’s temple. “Sleep.” There was no chance he could fight against that little push of grace. Seconds later, he fell asleep, comfortable and safe under his own personal angel.

* * *

The next morning at breakfast, Dean dropped down at the table where Sam was already sitting and glared at him over their trays. “I’m pretty sure your boyfriend’s the one that needs to be in here, not us. He popped in on me this morning while I was freaking getting dressed, tapped my head, and vanished with a laugh.”

A chuckle escaped Sam before he could stop it. He could easily picture that. He’d kind of figured Gabriel wouldn’t just pop in while Dean was still asleep. No, not him. He’d want to weird him out or annoy him as much as possible. “You’ll be thanking him in a minute.” Sam told him, digging in to his bowl of yogurt and fruit that he had noticed wasn’t being offered to anyone else. He sent up a quick mental thanks to the one he knew was responsible for that before turning his focus back to his brother. “He was clearing Wraith poison out of your system. Got it out of mine, too.”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up and he paused in the middle of scooping eggs up onto his toast. “Wraith?”

“Yeah.” In short order, he summed up what Gabriel had told him about Wraiths, including how to kill them. He finished it by telling him “He used female pronouns when talking about it, and before I went to sleep he told me he’d pop in and clear out your system before he left so we could figure out how to take out our nurse. There’s only one nurse I can think of that touched both of us.”

“Son of a bitch.”

Sam nodded. “Yeah. So, we spend today trying to find something silver and sharp enough for what we need, and then we take out the nurse and get out of here.”

“There any particular reason he couldn’t just take care of this problem for us, seeing as how he already knew what it was, _who_ it was, and how to kill it?” Dean demanded.

A small wince crossed Sam’s features. He’d known Dean wasn’t going to be happy about that part of things. It was something he’d noticed in his brother with Castiel, too. He seemed to be under the belief that anything that had the ability to hunt, should do so. Especially the angels on their side. Castiel and Gabriel had the ability to hunt, they knew how to figure out what creatures were there, they were equipped with the ability to smite or stab and kill pretty much everything evil that walked the earth, and so Dean couldn’t understand why they didn’t. To him, the world was just that simple. Evil monster? Kill it. Demon? Kill it. He couldn’t comprehend why someone would have those powers and _not_ use them for good. Remaining neutral, or ambivalent, was an option for him. It was one of the things that made him such a great hunter. Sam figured it was also one of the things that had earned him the label of Righteous Man.

Sam, however, had always had a different view. His world wasn’t just black and white but a thousand shades of gray. After first meeting angels and realizing that they were nothing like what he’d expected, he had a very different view on them. He didn’t expect them to help anymore. Not even Castiel. Not unless it furthered their own agenda.

Instead of answering straight out, Sam asked “You really want him coming along finishing all our hunts for us?” He pushed around the fruit in his bowl and tried to think of how to word this so as not to set Dean off, while at the same time keeping his voice low and careful enough that others around them wouldn’t hear or understand him. “Loki helps me on cases when I need it, but he never does my job for me.”

“People are dying, Sam, and he could stop it.”

God, Sam had hated hearing that line growing up. He’d hated how it had become an excuse for everything. _No, Sam, we’re not staying. I don’t care if you have a game! People are dying._ It was the reason used to explain why nothing could ever change, why they couldn’t have anything. _Your brother’s fine, Sam. He can heal on the road. There are people dying and they’re not going to wait just so we can hang around a motel for a few extra days._ He’d heard that in so many variations over the years. Hearing it parroted now from Dean’s mouth had him closing his eyes briefly and drawing in a careful breath to keep from exploding at him. Only when he was sure he was calm did he open his eye again. He found Dean watching him cautiously; the older man knew just how much Sam hated hearing that. Licking his lips, Sam steadied himself and made sure his voice wasn’t at all confrontational. They didn’t need a real argument right now. “If anyone was at risk, Loki would’ve stopped it, or he would’ve provided me with the tools to stop it right then. Much as he likes to pretend otherwise, he cares about people, and he won’t let innocents get hurt if he can stop it. There was no risk of anyone else dying last night—she’s shown no signs of multiple kills in one night so far. So he provided me with the information I needed and now he’s trusting me to do my job. I don’t need or want him to do it for me.”

Sam was braced for Dean to argue with him. He was prepared for him to insist that Gabriel try and help them somehow, that he use his skills because that was the right thing to do or whatever it was that Dean felt. What he absolutely didn’t expect was for Dean to look at him with something akin to pride on his face, or for him to smile a little and nod. “All right. Where do we find some silver?”

For a second Sam just looked at his brother, a man he thought he knew front to back, and he couldn’t help his own small smile. Sometimes, just when he thought he knew how Dean would react in any given situation, the man had to go and surprise him.

Feeling a little lighter than before, Sam started to explain his plan.

* * *

Once they knew who and what they were up against, and with the added help of Gabriel having cleared out the poison from their systems, taking down the Wraith was as easy as cornering her in a small room late that night. With silver plated knives that had taken three different nurses’ stations to find, they went after her together. They got thrown around for their troubles, as all supernatural creatures seemed to love to do, and they were going home with some extra bruises, but they managed to kill her, and they did it together.

The alarm going off signaling patients out of their room—that, made things a little more complicated.

They had to make a mad dash from the hospital before anyone caught them and linked the out-of-bed patients with the woman now lying dead in one of the rooms. Thankfully, none of their real clothes carried anything important, so leaving those behind were no big deal. Still in the hospital garb and robes, the two raced down the halls and out the doors, following the escape route they’d planned ahead of time, running like mad through the night to get to where the car was hiding. Dean reached it first, pulling open the door and yanking off his robe before tossing it into the backseat and then dropping down into his own seat. Sam went to the passenger’s side and practically fell in as he tried to find a way to breathe past his laughter.

The strange look Dean gave him only made him laugh all the more. He barely held it in enough to shut his door so that they could leave.

Dean flashed him a look of confused concern as he started the car. “Are you all right over there, Sammy?”

One arm wrapped around aching ribs, Sam snorted, trying to stem his laughter. All it took was one look at Dean to set it off again. “Oh, man, Dean, look at us! We just booked it out of that hospital in robes and _slippers_!” Sam snickered as he looked down at the muddy slippers on his feet. He pulled one off, holding it up for Dean to see and laughing at his brother’s glare before tossing it, as well as the other, out the window.

Dean watched him for a moment before seemingly deciding that it wasn’t worth his time to worry about. There as just a hint of a smile on his lips, though. Sam’s laughter was infectious and it had been a long time since he’d seen his baby brother let go like that. Still, he couldn’t resist teasing him. “You’re insane.”

His choice of words only set Sam off even more. The two took off into the night, the sound of Sam’s laughter echoing behind them.

* * *

They arrived back at Bobby’s the next evening. Sam climbed out of the car and was greeted by Dog first, who tore across the yard and leapt right at him. Sam was smiling broadly when he bent enough to catch the energetic little canine rocket. Immediately Dog set to licking his face while wagging his tail so hard it was shaking his whole body. Sam was laughing and Dean was rolling his eyes as the door ahead of them opened again. What they were greeted with this time was enough to have them freezing in place. Bobby was there—and Bobby was _standing_.

Sam and Dean both froze at the bottom of the porch steps. “Bobby?” Dean said slowly.

The grizzled hunter flashed them a grin. “Hey, boys. Bout time you two got back.”

There was only a moment longer of stunned silence and then the two were striding forward and the next few minutes were spent with laughter and hugs and back slaps and, damn, did it feel good to see that huge grin on Bobby’s face, to look at him and not have to look so far down. When they all finally pulled back, Dean was the one to ask “How? How’d this happen?” his expression changed and his voice turned just a bit hesitant. “Bobby, you didn’t…?”

“No!” Bobby exclaimed. “I didn’t do nothin’! Woke up this morning and just, had feeling where I hadn’t before.”

That was all it took for Sam’s mind to start to drift a little. He watched Bobby and Dean debating—Bobby couldn’t seem to hold still, moving his legs every few seconds like he still couldn’t quite believe they were there and working—and he drew himself back a little, just enough to slip inside without them noticing. He wasn’t all that surprised to find Gabriel sitting at the kitchen table drinking from a big mug of what must be hot cocoa, judging by the mound of marshmallows on the top. Golden eyes met Sam’s across the room and the twinkle in them gave him the answer before he even asked the question. Because of that, it came out more as a statement instead. “You fixed Bobby’s legs.”

A corner of Gabriel’s mouth quirked up in a mocking smirk. “Oh, no, don’t get all sappy on me now, Gigantor.”

“It was a nice thing to do.”

“It wasn’t _nice_.” Gabriel wrinkled his nose up in disgust as he said that. “Ew. No, it was _practical_. How’s he supposed to keep you safe when I’m not here if he can’t even get up out of his chair? Besides,” Leaning back, he kicked his feet up onto the table, crossing one over the other and smirking over at them. “I get the added bonus of pissing off Zachy once he realizes I undid his little bullshit mojo he laid down to keep the old coot from healing. You know how I love pissing off my brothers, Sambo.”

Sam grinned and shook his head fondly. Idiot. He couldn’t just admit that he’d done something nice and accept the compliments for it. Sam remembered how appalled he’d been when he’d first found out that Bobby was paralyzed, and why. Sure, pissing off Zach later might be a bonus for him, and it was practical to have Bobby whole and healthy, but Sam wasn’t stupid enough to believe that those were the only reasons that Gabriel had done this.

A scowl stole away Gabriel’s smirk. “Don’t ruin my fun by trying to make me sound like one of the good guys, Sasquatch.”

“Oh, no, of course not.” Sam said with amusement. Strolling over, he bent down and stole a kiss, smiling against Gabriel’s lips. “We wouldn’t want anyone to think you were nice.”

Gabriel’s lips quirked against his. “Heaven forbid.”

His choice of words made Sam snicker. When he pulled back, there was humor dancing in Gabriel’s eyes, along with something else that he’d started to see more and more often, something that left a warm feeling in his chest. He ignored it now just as he had every other time he’d felt it. Right now was not the time to think about those kinds of things. Instead, he just grinned down at him. “Right. You’re just some evil, selfish little bastard who only does things that somehow benefit him and who would never do something just to be disgustingly nice.”

“Oooh, keep sweet talkin’ me, Winchester.” Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows at him. “Flattery gets you everywhere.”

“Do that somewhere other than my kitchen.” Bobby grumbled at them, finally coming in from outside.

Gabriel grinned. “My pleasure.”  With a snap, the two vanished to their room upstairs.

* * *

It was the middle of the night when Sam woke. He couldn’t say what woke him, or why, only that he was suddenly very much awake and alert. Behind him, he felt Gabriel press a little closer, his lover feeling him wake and already seeking to try and soothe him back to sleep. Down at the foot of the bed, Dog was awake as well, looking up at him with one of his ears quirked up. Sam watched him for a moment as Dog pushed up from their feet and made his way up towards Sam’s face. The terrier licked over his cheek and then nudged under his chin with a soft little whine. Sam scratched at his ears, trying to quiet him. No need for everyone else to be awake just because he was. This wasn’t the first time Sam had ever woken like this in the middle of the night and he knew he wasn’t going to be able to just go back to sleep.

Just as he started to move, Gabriel nuzzled in against the back of Sam’s shoulder and murmured his name lowly. Sam smiled a little at that. Carefully, he drew away, twisting enough to press a kiss against Gabriel’s head when he tried to hold Sam there. “I’m fine, Gabe. I’m just gonna go take Dog out real fast. I’ll be right back.” Maybe that would give him enough time to get rid of this weirdly edgy feeling that was running through him.

Gabriel grumbled, but he too was used to Sam waking up at odd times, and he’d learned that sometimes it was best to pull him back in bed and force him to sleep and sometimes it worked out better just to let him move for a bit and come back on his own. The fact that his lover knew that about him, that he’d taken the time to learn, had Sam smiling a little to himself as he ushered Dog out of the bedroom and the two headed downstairs.

He snagged one of the coats from the closet in the hall before heading over to the door. They always kept extras of things here at Bobby’s place, including coats. He pulled it on while he stopped off at the door to slip his feet into a pair of sneakers, chuckling at the dog dancing around his feet. “All right, all right, hold your horses there, buddy. It wasn’t even that long ago that you were out last! I think you can wait a few more seconds.” Crouching down, he quickly did up the laces, having to swat Dog away more than once when the playful animal kept nudging at his hands and making him laugh.

The minute the door was open, Dog took off like a shot, racing for the nearest bit of grass. Sam chuckled and shook his head. Adjusting the coat, which was more sweater than coat, he hooked the zipper and pulled it up to block out the chill of the night. A glance up at the sky showed him that the stars were all still out and bright and he wondered to himself what time it was. He hadn’t thought to check on his way out.

Whatever that edgy feeling was that had woken him up, it was still there, skittering along his spine. He stepped down off the porch and that feeling grew a little stronger the further that he wandered. Sam wasn’t sure what it was. His eyes scanned the darkness around him like there was some kind of threat out there while he wandered down along the line of broken cars, getting further from the house with each step. What was going on?

He was starting to worry that this was more than just the usual worried feeling that could hit at night. There was something about all this that wasn’t right. Even Dog seemed to feel the same. He’d left behind the grass and was wandering now at Sam’s side, pressed in close to his leg. Just as Sam was making the decision to head back into the house, or maybe to call out to Gabriel, when he saw something just ahead that had him stopping in place. Standing over near a stack of cars was someone he hadn’t expected to see at all. “Anna?”

The familiar woman smiled at him. “Hello, Sam.”

What was Anna doing here? They hadn’t seen her in, well, in a _while_. Not since they’d helped her become an angel again. Why was she here? Here, alone, in the middle of the night, while everyone else was asleep in the house. That edgy feeling grew a little stronger and Sam fought the urge to take a step back. “Wow. It’s been a while, Anna.”

“I’ve been trying to find you guys.” She told him. There was a strange quality to her voice; just a bit sad it seemed to him, yet firm, too. “You’re pretty well hidden. I was about to seek out Dean’s dreams, but I took a chance and checked here first. I’m glad I did.”

Yeah, that didn’t really help his worry. Instinctively, he took a step back. “Are you all right?” Even as he felt the wrongness about this all, he still worried, still hoped that maybe she just needed their help.

“No.” She shook her head, and the sadness grew, but she also straightened herself a little more and took a single step towards him. “You have a good heart, Sam. You were kind to me. I remember that. So please, remember, this isn’t personal…” She moved her hands and a nasty looking blade slipped down into her hand. “I’m sorry.”

With that last apology, she lunged.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. This chapter just wouldn't write :/ I don't know why. I'm still not all the way satisfied, but, here it is.

Everything happened so fast.

One second Anna was lunging towards him and Sam was trying to gather his power, hoping it would be enough to knock her back long enough for him to call for help, because he knew there was no way he was going to be able to run from her. He stood no chance running away from angelic speed. The next second, before he could do more than draw in a startled breath, there was a very familiar body right between them and a metallic crash as her knife met Gabriel’s angel blade. He used his blade to shove and send her flying back against a nearby pile of cars. The sound of her hitting echoed loudly and Sam knew the rest of the house would be stirring.

Sam stared wide eyed at the back of Gabriel’s head. “How’d…?”

“I was watching from the moment you left the bedroom, Sam.” The way he said it told Sam just how much of an idiot he thought he was for having to ask something like that. “Now, stay behind me. Or, better yet, get your ass back in the house.”

“Not a chance.”

A hand closed over Sam’s arm and he jerked, ready to defend, only to find Castiel there. The angel tugged him back while Gabriel kept up a defensive posture between Sam and Anna.

“Think very, very carefully about what you’re trying to do here, Anael.” Gabriel warned in a low voice as Anna pushed her way up to her feet. “The boy’s protected.”

“And who are you to be defending him?” She asked, straightening herself up. Apparently she could see enough to know that he was an angel, just not _which_ angel. Gabriel didn’t bother answering her or revealing himself. He just stayed where he was, every inch of him alert and ready, and warned her again. “I won’t let you harm him.”

There came the sound of the door slapping open and Sam didn’t have to turn to know that Dean and Bobby were running out towards them. He stayed staring at the scene unfolding in front of him, ignoring Dean’s surprised “ _Anna_?” when he got close enough to see who was there. Castiel shifted his stance, letting go of Sam finally but placing himself in a position that Sam knew would make it easier to defend if he had to. Huh. He never thought he’d see the day that Castiel would be defending _him_.

“What the hell’s going on here?” Bobby demanded as he reached Sam’s side.

Anna didn’t look over at them. Her eyes stayed on Gabriel. Her words, though, answered Bobby’s question. “Sam Winchester has to die.” She said it simply, like it was just natural, a foregone conclusion. She ignored the surprised sounds from the humans and the low growl from Gabriel. “I’m sorry but we have no choice. He's Lucifer's vessel.”

“He's not the only one.” Castiel pointed out.

Hurt and anger both flashed over Anna’s face when she heard Castiel’s voice. She restrained it, though, and turned to look at him. “What, that guy Nick? He's burning away as we speak. No. Sam is the only vessel that matters. You know what that means? If Lucifer can't take Sam, his whole plan short-circuits. No fight with Michael, no Croatoan virus. The Horsemen go back to their day jobs.”

There was truth in her words that Sam couldn’t deny. But he knew better than to believe a plan like that could work. He’d already put it to the test.

Gabriel seemed to be thinking along the same lines. “It won’t matter, sister. You think Lucifer won’t just bring him right back to life?”

“Not after I scatter his cells across the universe.” Anna said, sounding so earnest, so strong in her belief that this was the right thing to do. “They'll never find him. Not all of him.”

Dean pushed forward, right to Sam’s side, and glared at a woman he had called friend. Someone who he had cared deeply for at one point. “No, Anna. We’re working on our own plan, one that doesn’t require killing my brother.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Gabriel cut in sharply before Dean could start just spilling their plan out to her right here in the open. “It wouldn’t work. Sam is Lucifer’s _True Vessel—_ you think he couldn’t find his cells and remake him? All he’d need is one speck of Sam and he could rebuild him from that. You’ve got to quit thinking of him as being limited by _your_ standards. Your power’s nothing compared to his. None of which really matters in the least damn bit, because you’re not touching Sam. I won’t let you.”

Castiel took a step forward and his shoulders were set in a way that made it clear he was very much on edge. It was out there in a way that Castiel’s emotions usually weren’t. Bright blue eyes were locked right on Anna, who had turned towards him almost the minute he moved. Whereas she’d looked at Gabriel with seriousness and a hint of curiosity, the look she gave Castiel was dark and harsh. He didn’t flinch back from it. Instead, he took another step forward, sidestepping ever so slightly to draw her gaze away from the Winchesters while still keeping himself close enough to protect if he had to. “Anna. How are you here?”

Her chin lifted a little higher. “I escaped.”

Immediately Gabriel tensed even more. Castiel lightly touched his fingers to Gabriel’s arm in a gesture that asked him to stand back, just for a moment. His focus stayed on Anna, though. “If you're out of prison, it's because they let you out.” Castiel said in that low rumble of his. “And they sent you here to do their dirty work.”

“And what makes you so sure?” Anna asked archly.

“Because I've experienced...heaven's persuasion.” The way Castiel said that, with just a hint of a pause, made it clear what he meant by ‘persuasion’. It had Dean shifting towards him just the slightest bit.

Anna’s eyes snapped hotly with just a hint of power. “You mean when you gave me to them.”

“Wait, what?” Dean demanded. His eyes snapped back and forth between Anna and Castiel. “What is she talking about, Cas?” He sounded confused, but for Sam, some things were starting to clear up just a little.

For the moment, Castiel ignored Dean, though he had to know he’d be answering for that later. His attention was focused at the moment on Anna, though. “What happened was a mistake. One that I regret, deeply. But however you feel about my actions, I assure you, this is not the way.”

“If you want to stop the devil, this is how, Castiel. You know this.”

“Even if it were, the answer is still no.” Castiel said firmly. He didn’t look back, but his shoulders squared, and what he said next left Sam feeling stunned. “Sam is my friend and I won’t let you harm him. If you try, sister, I will kill you. I promise you that.”

She arched an eyebrow at him. “You think you can stop me?”

What happened next was so fast Sam couldn’t catch all of it. It looked like Anna vanished, but then Gabriel was cursing and he disappeared as well, only for the two of them to reappear a second later a few feet away, their bodies intertwined as they slammed into the earth. Anna wasn’t playing anymore. Her knife was gone and an angel blade was in her hand as she twisted and tried to slash at Gabriel. A choked sound came from Sam and he tried to move, only to be stopped by a hand from Castiel. “Her blade cannot kill him.” Castiel reassured him lowly. “And she stands no chance against him. My brother may not like to fight, but it does not mean he is not capable.”

He sure proved that to be true. Sam felt his mouth drop open a little as Gabriel did a quick move they couldn’t see but that somehow gained him the upper hand. He twisted and grabbed hold of something near her back and then she was being slammed down against the hood of a nearby car and Gabriel held an angel blade against her side with one hand while his other was still gripping something in the air right by her back and, holy shit, was he gripping her _wings_? “Settle down.” The archangel snarled out, his voice ringing with an authority that could not be denied. “I don’t wanna hurt you, Annie Girl, but that don’t mean I won’t.”

“Damn.” Dean murmured at Sam’s side, eyes locked on the scene in front of them.

Sam could actually see it, the way she startled at that tone, at the nickname that went with it, and how her eyes suddenly went wide. “Gabriel.” She breathed out. Then, again, achingly, “ _Gabriel_!”

He didn’t move away from her. If anything, he pressed a little closer, the threat obvious. Sam swore he could _see_ the power oozing off of his lover. “I’ll let you up if you promise to stay and behave.”

“Yes, _yes_!”

Gabriel pulled himself back from her, letting go of whatever he’d been holding and slipping his blade back up his sleeve. Then Anna was moving, pushing off the car and spinning to face him, and those watching got to truly see the awed joy of an angel celebrating the life of one they’d thought dead and lost. Anna’s whole being lit and she dropped instantly to her knees. Sam saw the flash of discomfort across Gabriel’s features at the submissive gesture. “We thought you were dead.” Anna said, face tipped up and her expression reverent. “Everyone mourned your loss, Gabriel.”

Again, there was that bit of discomfort, the small tightening to Gabriel’s eyes that Sam doubted anyone else even noticed before it was hidden underneath the masks he’d so perfected. The archangel reached out and firmly drew Anna up to her feet. “On your feet, Annie Girl. You know I’m not big on that kind of formality. Get up here.”

She laughed and let herself be pulled up to her feet. Then she was almost flinging herself forward, wrapping around Gabriel and hugging him tight, and Sam very much was _not_ the least bit jealous over this beautiful woman, angel, _being_ , that was flinging herself all over his lover. One who, only moments ago, had been trying to kill Sam with the intent of scattering his atoms so that he could never be put back together again.

Something invisible flicked at Sam’s nose and then something else pinched at his ass as the two angels separated. He didn’t have to guess at who had done it. He shot a glare over at his trickster, who winked at him openly, without any ounce of shame.

The wink didn’t go unnoticed. Anna’s eyes went from Gabriel over to Sam and then back again and her expression morphed into something that looked like a cross between sorrow and disbelief. “Oh, Gabriel. Don’t tell me you were that foolish.”

His smile didn’t break. In answer, he said one single word in Enochian, one that Sam knew very well. It simply meant ‘Mine’.

“Gabriel.” She said his name lowly, achingly, like she was hurting for him. Like she couldn’t believe he’d done something so monumentally foolish. Her gaze moved over to Sam and he swallowed down the lump that built up in his throat. This wasn’t personal, he knew. She wasn’t here attacking him. She didn’t even really dislike him. She just, saw a way to stop this and was throwing her all into it. That wasn’t something he could blame her for. Nor could he blame her for the way she shook her head now and turned back to Gabriel. “You know what he is. You can’t let your affection blind you from doing what needs to be done.”

“I’m not.” Gabriel told her plainly. “I’m seeing things a lot clearer than you are, little sister. This isn’t what Dad wanted. I’m the Messenger, Anael. Don’t you think Dad would’ve had me spreading the Word if this was what He really wanted?”

“There are whispers in Heaven of the Father being gone.” The way she said gone, so hard, so final, with a sort of broken edge to it, left no doubt what she meant with that word.

Gabriel actually rocked back on his heels at that. “Are you kidding me?” His eyebrows shot up and he let out a long, low whistle. “Wow. I knew things were bad, but—seriously? Dad’s gone, yeah, but He’s not _gone_.”

Her eyes shot wide. “You’ve spoken with Him?”

Immediately, Gabriel shook his head. “No. Not for a long, long time. But, c’mon Anael. We feel it whenever one of us angels die. You really think _everything_ would feel it if He died? Do you really think the prophet would still be receiving the Word if Dad was gone? He’s out there, somewhere, He’s just keeping out of this.”

“Just keeping out of this?” Dean demanded. Apparently he’d reached his limit of just standing back and watching things. He pushed away from his spot by Sam and strode forward towards Anna and Gabriel. “Are you kidding me? You mean He’s just sitting back somewhere watching everything go to hell and He’s not bothering to do a damn thing about it?”

“Free will.” Gabriel said with a shrug. “You’re fighting for free will here, bucko. You can’t fight for that and then turn around and demand that the Big Guy come and fix your problems for you.”

Dean growled lowly. “That’s a bullshit cop-out.”

“Believe what you will. You want free will here? You’re gonna get it, the good and the bad.”

“We can debate this later.” Bobby interrupted them. “Right now, I’m more concerned with the girl that came here to kill Sam. Think we might be able to focus on that a bit?”

“No one’s killing Sam.” Gabriel said firmly. There was an edge to his words, a thrum of power that Sam felt like a small current over his skin and against his nerves. His eyes glowed with that power as they fixed firmly on Anna. “I don’t care what happened upstairs or what orders you’ve been given, or even if you’re here acting on your own. Sam’s mine, and anyone who wants to try and lay a hand on him is going to have to go through me.”

Anna didn’t protest, or try to argue her point. She tipped her head in that way that all angels seemed to have and watched Gabriel for a moment. “You would put yourself on the line, for him?”

“Yes.” Gabriel said immediately.

“I can only guess you’ve been in hiding all this time, Gabriel. You’re telling me you’re willing to throw all that away, pit yourself against your brothers and sisters, to protect the human responsible for this entire mess?”

The way she said it, so plain and simple without any malice, made the words sting more than normal. Sam just barely held in the flinch he felt at that. He couldn’t hold back the swell of self-loathing, though, because he knew she was right. She was so very right. This was his fault. He’d started all of this. He’d let Lucifer out. This was his fault, his mess, and if he thought for one minute that Anna’s plan would work, he’d willingly step forward and kneel down for her. But it wouldn’t work. The only chance they had were the plans that Gabriel had come up with. He hated that the others had to be at risk because of it, though. He hated that they were in danger and he absolutely hated the position it put Gabriel in. Anna had summed it up perfectly there. Gabriel had been in hiding for a long time and now he was here, at Sam’s side, fighting to protect him, pitting himself against his siblings, all for _Sam_. For the boy with the demon blood. The very last person he should be trying to protect.

Bobby’s hand settled firmly on Sam’s shoulder in open support, while Dean growled lowly.

A loud sigh slid from Gabriel. “Okay, y’know what? Change of plans.” With one hand, he gestured at Anna. “Stay.” Then he turned and strode right up to Sam. Without hesitation, he caught the front of his jacket and used it to yank him down for a kiss. When he finally broke away, he smirked up at Sam, patting his cheek with one hand. “My siblings and I are gonna go have a nice little chat about things somewhere a bit more private than Singer’s yard. Keep your ass outta trouble while I’m gone, hm?” His other hand reached around to grab a handful of Sam’s ass and squeeze, chuckling at Sam’s startled squeak and the grumbles from everyone else.

Sam squirmed in an effort to break out of Gabriel’s hold, only serving to make his partner grin and wiggle his eyebrows at him. He let out a sigh and gave it up, holding on to his shoulders instead and deliberately trying not to look at anyone else. “Can’t you just come inside and talk?”

“Nope.” Stretching up, he dropped a kiss on the tip of Sam’s nose. “Not until I know it’s safe. You go handle your family, kiddo, and I’ll handle mine. I’ll be back once Anael and I get a few things squared away. Don’t leave here until then.” One last kiss and he pulled away, stopping long enough to point a finger down at Dog and tell him “Watch out for him” before straightening back up. With a snap, the three angels were gone, leaving the three humans standing there staring at the empty space.

The yard stayed silent for a moment before Dean broke it by snorting. He looked over at Sam and lifted his eyebrows in a scolding sort of look. “Dude, you need to talk to him about this whole command thing he’s got going on.”

“So what, are we supposed to wait up till he comes back and hope that the other angel doesn’t get here first to try and kill you?” Bobby asked them.

“No.” Sam answered immediately, shaking his head. “Whatever happens, Gabe won’t let her back here to hurt us. Besides, with the wards up, no angels but him or Cas can get in the house, anyways.”

“I vote we go back to sleep and deal with this crap tomorrow.” Dean’s suggestion was met with agreement on all sides. The trio made their way back to the house, each heading off to their separate rooms. Dean paused by Sam’s room, looking at him for a moment like he wanted to say something. In the end he settled for clapping Sam on the shoulder and telling him “No more midnight walks, all right?”

Sam smiled a little at that. “Yeah.”

He kept his smile on his face until he and Dog were once more inside the bedroom. Only then did Sam let it drop. Feeling strangely heavy, he dropped himself down onto the foot of the bed, elbows on his knees so that he could bury his face in his hands. How on earth had this night gone so wrong so fast? Things had been so great earlier! He and Dean had worked a case together without fighting with each other. If anything, it’d been pretty damn close to feeling like old times. Then they’d come home and found that Bobby was walking—walking!—and Sam had ended up spending a few hours finding creative ways to thank his lover for that favor. But then, with one wake up and a really bad feeling, everything had just gone to hell. Or, well…he really had to think of a better phrase to use. That phrase cut a little too close to home right now.

Sam blew out a breath and rubbed his hands over his face. He wasn’t quite sure what to think or feel here. He wasn’t upset with Anna; how could he be? Like she’d said, this hadn’t been personal. She’d only been trying to stop the apocalypse. How on earth could he get upset with her over that? She hadn’t known that her plan wouldn’t work.

He really hoped that whatever conversation Gabriel was having with her and Castiel was going okay. Anna had been their friend, for the short period of time they’d known her. She’d been a bit more to Dean, he knew, at least for a little bit. She was also an angel once more, and having another angel on their side of things couldn’t be bad.

She also knew who Gabriel was now. Sam still couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t decide if he was more grateful or guilty over it. The archangel had been in hiding for so long now and because of Sam he kept having to reveal himself. First to Castiel, now to Anna. How long before his cover was blown entirely? Would Anna keep his secret? Eventually, Gabriel wasn’t going to be able to keep his secret any longer, not aligned with Sam the way he was. It made something in his stomach twist a little thinking about what could happen just because Gabriel had agreed to side with him.

Sam was still sitting there worrying when Gabriel finally returned.

He didn’t notice the trickster at first. He just sat there, lost in his thoughts, until that familiar mocking voice interrupted him. “Wow, you’re reaching some massive levels of emo angst bullshit in here, kiddo. I must say, I’m impressed.”

Immediately Sam’s head snapped up. Gabriel was leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, watching Sam with one eyebrow raised and wearing a sneer. He looked just like the annoying, mocking trickster that they’d once staked, and Sam slumped slightly out of sheer relief. “You’re all right.”

His eyebrow dropped and he looked almost offended. “Of course I am. Geeze, and here I thought you had faith in me.”

The words might’ve been said sarcastically, but Sam answered them seriously. “Of course I do. It’s not you I was worried about.” At the amused look he got, he rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean. I was worried about you, but I wasn’t _worried_ about you.”

“Oh, well, that cleared that right up. You’ve got such a way with words, Sambo.”

“Shut up, you know exactly what I meant.” Sam told him. He would’ve said more, but looking at Gabriel’s face, actually _looking_ at him, he could see things he hadn’t noticed before. Things that he once wouldn’t have noticed at all. A tightness to Gabriel’s eyes, the tense way he held his shoulders, an air of energy crackling around him that pinged on those senses of Sam’s that Gabriel had been training. All of those told him just what kind of mood his lover was in. They also gave him a pretty good idea on how this needed to be handled. Any soft words he’d planned, any worries he’d wanted to address, were all pushed aside. The last thing Gabriel needed was any more angst or emotional sort of anything right now. When he got like this, those were the last things he needed. Instead, Sam arched an eyebrow and made his tone just slightly dry as he asked “So, seeing as how you’re here, I assume I’m not going to end up dead anytime soon?”

There was only a faint hint of surprise on Gabriel’s face to show that Sam had caught him off guard. Obviously he hadn’t expected him to sound so calm about this all. He recovered quickly, though. “Who knows, you still might.” Gabriel drawled out. “Not from Anael, though. She didn’t actually want you dead anyways. She was just pretty sure it was the only way to solve this thing. It didn’t take much to convince her otherwise. She was one of mine, back in the day. Following me now is no real stretch for her.”

Sam had the feeling it was all a little more complex than that. For now, though, those details weren’t exactly important. He could find them out later. He was safe, his family was safe, and Gabriel was safe. Those were the important things. Gabriel had taken care of them, again—now it was Sam’s turn to take care of Gabriel. “So, we’re safe then?” He asked.

Shrugging one shoulder, Gabriel made a so-so gesture with one hand. “Safe as we can be, for now.”

“Good.” Sam allowed his worries to fall away for now, to be addressed again in the morning light, and let the lust Gabriel always stirred in him rise to the surface. His lover wasn’t close enough to reach with his hands, so instead, Sam reached out with his powers, stretching those mental muscles just as Gabriel had taught him, and he used those to wrap around Gabriel’s waist like a pair of hands and tug him forward. Laughter bubbled up his throat when the trickster startled and flung out his arms as if to catch or brace himself. He pulled Gabriel right over to him, laughing as their bodies connected and Gabriel took over, pushing him back onto the bed with a playful growl. He’d known he wouldn’t surprise him for long.

Eyes of liquid gold laughed down at him and some of the tension around them started to melt away. Gabriel braced his hands on the bed on either side of Sam’s head and smiled at him, really smiled, without the tense edge that had been there moments ago. “Why, Sammy, look at you getting all forceful.”

“I figured I better take the initiative before you spent the rest of the night angsting against the wall.” Sam teased him. “That’s usually my job.”

Gabriel let out a surprised laugh. “Cheeky brat.”

Lifting his arms, Sam wound them around Gabriel’s neck, threading his fingers through his hair. He smirked a little as he messed it up. “You like it.” Shifting his legs, he spread them a little, let Gabriel drop down to settle between them, and then curled one leg over the back of Gabriel’s, running his heel over his calf. He cupped Gabriel’s head with one hand and pulled him down until their lips were just a breath apart. “What’re you gonna do about it?”

The gold of Gabriel’s eyes sparked and heated even more. “Again?” He teased in a low, husky voice. “You’re insatiable, Winchester.” He didn’t sound all that bothered by it. Without breaking eye contact, the trickster lifted one hand from the bed.

With a smirk of his own that promised oh-so-much, he snapped.

* * *

The next time that Sam woke, he was alone in his bed. He woke slowly and easily from a sleep that had been deep and dreamless. He felt loose limbed and well rested. Then again, he’d been thoroughly worn out before he’d fallen asleep—practically passed out, actually—last night. Or, well, technically it had been early morning by then. Sam smiled a little to himself as he stretched his body out and felt the various aches. All signs of a night well spent. It was a feeling he rather enjoyed. He smiled a little and he sank back into the blankets and contemplated if he actually wanted to get up and face the real world again or if he could maybe stay here and milk a few more hours of peace. Dean would say that Gabriel was becoming a rather bad influence on him.

_Lazybones_ , a warm voice teased in his mind.

Sam’s lips curved up into a sleepy grin. He’d noticed already that the bed was empty. Burying his face in his pillow, he gave a hum of content. _Come back and be lazy with me._

_Ugh, since when do I have to be the responsible one in this relationship? Get that gorgeous ass on down here. I’m making everyone breakfast an we’re waiting on you so I don’t have to explain things more than once._

That made Sam chuckle. _Don’t wanna._

He could feel Gabriel’s humor like warm bells in his mind. _Either get down here, or I’m sending Dean Machine on up there to get you._

Now that was a threat to get Sam moving. He’d been woken up by his brother plenty of times before and he didn’t want a repeat. Especially since he knew Dean would be extra motivated to do it in the most annoying way possible. So, making sure Gabriel could feel his reluctance, he dragged himself up out of bed and snagged a set of clean clothes before making his way to the bathroom. To his amusement, Dog followed him out of the bedroom and took up post outside the bathroom, sitting down there to wait. He was still there when Sam came out after his quick shower. Looking down at the little terrier, the hunter shook his head. He bent down and gave him a quick scratch behind the ears. “You know, we’re in Bobby’s house. I think I’m safe enough to take a shower.” He teased. Dog barked happily back at him.

The two made their way downstairs and found Dean and Bobby sitting at the table eating stacks of pancakes while Gabriel stood at the coffee pot pouring a mug of coffee.

“Bout time you woke up, Princess.” Dean said as soon as he caught sight of him.

Rolling his eyes, Sam flipped his brother off. He made his way over to Gabriel, ignoring his brother’s gagging sounds as he pressed up against the archangel’s back and slid an arm around his waist. He dropped a kiss on the top of Gabriel’s head before tipping his head to rest his cheek there. “Morning.”

He felt Gabriel’s chuckle more than heard it. A warm hand patted his arm and then he was being nudged with an elbow. “Get off me, Gigantor. I’m not your leaning post.”

“I don’t know, you look just the right size.” Bobby called out.

Sam let out a snicker that quickly turned into a grunt when Gabriel’s elbow connected a little more solidly with his stomach. He straightened back up and pulled back without completely letting go of him.

Shaking his head at the two of them, Dean dug in to what was left of his pancakes. “Dude, you look like even more of a midget next to him.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my vessel!” Gabriel protested as he turned in Sam’s hold to face Dean. He passed the cup of coffee he’d made up to Sam while fixing Dean with a glare. “My true size is bigger than your tiny human brain could begin to comprehend, bucko.”

Just as Dean opened his mouth to respond with something that Sam could almost guarantee would be rude and possibly vulgar, Bobby cut between them. “All right, boys, put the ruler away.” He said dryly. Putting down his fork on his empty plate, he pushed the plate back and leaned back in his chair. “You said you were waitin’ for Sam to get up before explaining things. Well, he’s up, so get talking, trickster.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes at the demanding tone. Holding on to Sam’s arm, he shifted the two of them, forcing them to turn so that Sam was the one against the counter. Amused, Sam let him. They ended up with Sam leaning against the counter and Gabriel tucked up against his side, half leaning on him and half against the counter. He laced his fingers together with Sam’s, which were resting on his hip, without seeming the least bit embarrassed by their position. If he wasn’t going to be embarrassed, Sam wasn’t going to be either. He’d always been a touchy sort of person in any relationship he’d been in. He’d finally found himself with someone who was even more tactile than him.

“There’s not really a whole lot to tell.” Gabriel admitted to them. “I already said that she’s on our side. I don’t really see what explanation you want.”

“I think we’re looking for a bit more detail, Gabe.” Sam said. He hid his smirk in his coffee, which was deliciously prepared exactly how he liked it.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Ugh. Humans, always so picky.” He snapped himself up a mug of his own that looked like more whip cream than anything else. Letting go of Sam’s hand with a soft squeeze, he cradled the mug in both hands and leaned more of his weight against his hunter. “ _Fine_. What you have to understand first is that Anael’s been in Heaven’s prison since pretty much the last time you chuckleheads saw her.”

“Heaven has a prison?” Dean asked with surprise.

Gabriel nodded. “Yep. An, how did Anael put it? ‘All the torture, twice the self-righteousness’. Let’s just say it’s not a place any angel wants to go. It’s where they take angels who need ‘correction’. Still, it didn’t used to be as bad as it apparently is now. What she went through, the reeducation they put her through, left its marks.”

There was an edge to those words that had Sam slipping his thumb underneath the hem of Gabriel’s shirt so he could rub soothingly over his hip. He felt Gabriel relax into him a little more at that gentle touch.

Dean sat up a little straighter in his chair, his breakfast forgotten. “Is she okay?”

“I healed her grace.” Gabriel reassured him, for once not sounding the least bit like the prankster he was. “Fixed up what they did to her. Then we talked. That’s it, boys, nothing exciting. We just talked. She wasn’t that hard to convince to be on our side.”

“I hate to be a downer.” Bobby said slowly. “But can we trust her? I mean, how do we know she aint gonna go back upstairs and spill to everyone up there?”

“Anael’s always been loyal without the fanatical edge that some of my brothers and sisters have. She was one of mine, back in the day, in my garrison, and apparently her loyalty hasn’t changed.” Gabriel’s sounded just slightly humbled by that. Only for a moment, though. Then he shrugged and covered it up by adding in “Plus, I read her grace, and there’s no lying to me that way. She’s committed to our side, at least so long as I’m here, and she’s given her vow to not harm Sam, or anyone else on our little team here. The kind of vow she made can’t be broken. She’s a part of the team now. In fact, she’s out with Cassy right now, making nice and helping him in his ridiculous search or Dad. I told them not to come back till they settled their differences like adults.”

The idea of having another angel on their side was a positive one. Sam couldn’t deny that they could use any help they could get. One more angel could only be a good thing, really. But he could also admit that it made him nervous to have a person on the team who had, at one point, tried to kill him, even if their reasoning had been good. At this rate he really wasn’t racking up any good allies. Bobby still seemed pissed at him half the time. Dean, well, there was no telling how long their truce would last, and Sam was under no illusions about just how much his brother trusted him. Until last night, Castiel had never referred to Sam as anything close to ‘friend’, or really anything other than ‘abomination’ or ‘the boy with the demon blood’. And Gabriel—for all that they were good now, Gabriel had once starred in some of Sam’s nightmares after their two memorable meetings. It was kind of a sobering thought when he stopped to think about it. There was one common screw up in all those scenarios and it wasn’t them.

Sharp fingers pinched at Sam’s thigh and he jumped, almost splashing coffee onto his hand. “Ow!” He shot a glare at the top of Gabriel’s head. “What was that for?”

“Don’t play dumb, Sam-a-lam-a.” Tipping his head, Gabriel looked up at him with an expression that said rather clearly he wasn’t impressed with what he’d been listening to.

Sam sighed and rolled his eyes. “How many times do I have to tell you? If you don’t like what you hear, don’t listen.”

“Pfffft. Keep dreaming, handsome.”

“Ugh.” Dean groaned out, glaring over at them. “Quit flirting. Some of us are trying to eat, y’know?”

Arching an eyebrow, Sam shot a look over at his brother. “I’ll remind you of that the next time you and Cas start with the soulful stares again.”

The sound of everyone’s laughter almost drowned out Dean’s embarrassed stammering.

Sam tugged Gabriel in the smallest bit closer. One thing he was learning since Gabriel had come into his life was to take the good moments as they came and enjoy them. This was one of those moments. It was a memory he’d wrap up in his mind and preserve as the treasure it was. Standing here in the kitchen of a place that had been the closest he and Dean had ever come to a real home, with the man who was like a second father to them. He smiled a little to himself and tipped his head down just enough to hide that smile against Gabriel’s hair. Yeah, the morning was pretty damn perfect. He didn’t stop to question the fact that most of what made it so was the warm body leaning against his.


	15. Chapter 15

This whole damn thing felt strange. That was what Dean thought to himself as he sat in the living room of Bobby’s place a few days after their meeting with Anna. The whole damn thing, this whole odd situation, just felt strange. He wasn’t referring to the apocalypse—that crapfest was pretty much as shitty as he’d expected it to be. No, what he was thinking about, what felt just as odd as could be, was their little ‘team’ here. A team that had increased in numbers. When it started, it had been him and Sam, with a little help from Bobby and Cas. Then, as time went on, Castiel became more and more a part of the team, and they’d started to rely on Bobby a bit more. But then Dean and Sam had split.

They came back together again and suddenly ‘Team Free Will’ was up another member. Another _angel_. Or, archangel, as Gabriel would cheerfully remind him. The little shit might’ve been in hiding for who knew how long but it didn’t stop him from wanting his _proper_ title, apparently. And now they had yet another angel—Anna. She was often out with Castiel, popping in when he did and leaving with him. It was on Gabriel’s orders, she’d explained. He wanted them to work things out and to work together and in Anna’s mind, that seemed to be that. It disturbed Dean a little to see what he considered blind obedience. Just because Gabriel was an archangel didn’t mean she _had_ to listen to him. Castiel didn’t always listen! But, then again…Dean couldn’t really think of any moment that Gabriel had even simply _suggested_ something and Castiel hadn’t gone along with it. Sure, he hadn’t asked the younger angel to do anything bad or such, but was Castiel following him because it was right, or because Gabriel outranked him and he felt he couldn’t disobey? It was something he’d have to talk to him about. Bad enough that Sam seemed to have no issue trusting the guy. Someone needed to be able to tell Gabriel no and so far Dean hadn’t see anyone else willing to do it.

Gabriel was an annoying companion, a prankster who didn’t seem to believe that trying to stop the apocalypse was a good enough reason to stop playing jokes for a while, and he was embarrassingly and disgustingly all over Sam _all the time_. It was the last one that got on Dean’s nerves the most. While he and Gabriel might be on somewhat better terms after the trickster had helped point out a few home truths for Dean, it didn’t mean that they were friends. Not by a long shot. Hell, half the time he wasn’t sure if he even trusted the midget. He especially didn’t trust him with Sam. It wasn’t like Sam exactly had a good track record with the love interests in his life.

But—he had to admit that Gabriel appeared to actually care about Sam. He made him sleep, popped in randomly to make him take breaks from his research and grab something to eat. That was something that even Dean had trouble managing sometimes. Sam was a pro at ignoring food when he got into a mood or really into his research. Yet Gabriel didn’t seem to have any issue getting the younger Winchester to eat. Even when Sam rolled his eyes or grumbled about it, he never really put up any protest.

He made Sam smile, too, and that was worth some of the trouble he caused. It wasn’t until he saw Sam doing it again that he realized just how long it’d been since he’d seen Sam smile or laugh like this. That disturbed Dean. Had it really become so commonplace for his baby brother to be depressed that Dean had just stopped noticing it? There was no way he couldn’t notice it now. It only started to show if Gabriel was gone for too long. The trickster spent most of the day gone out doing whatever it was he was doing with Coyote or whomever to get his side of things ready. The longer he was gone, the more Sam’s smiles would start to fade, the more he’d start to draw back a little and he’d get that look on his face that told Dean that he was getting lost in thoughts he shouldn’t have and in the guilt that he never seemed able to let go of. Dean tried to help as best as he could, and sometimes it seemed to work, but none of it worked half as well as when Gabriel came back.

Much as Dean appreciated that there was someone who could perk up his emo brother, it kind of made him hate him just a little more. Taking care of Sammy had always been _his_ job. He’d made sure he was fed, cared for, supported. He’d been the one to coax Sam out of his moods. He’d been the one to make his little brother smile and laugh when the rest of the world hurt him. Now that role was being filled by someone else and that grated Dean a lot more than he’d thought it would. It made him feel unnecessary. Unneeded.

That feeling only got worse as he suddenly heard the sound of his brother’s laughter outside. Sam had slipped out of the house earlier, on Bobby’s orders, to take a small break. Apparently for him that meant going out and working on _his_ car. Not fixing up cars for Bobby, or hanging out with Dean while Dean worked on his baby, but working on that car that he’d picked up while apart from Dean. The fact that he’d kept that car at all grated on Dean’s nerves. Why did Sam need another car? They had the impala. That was _theirs_. Their _home_. Sure, he’d needed another car while he’d been off running around with Gabriel, but now that they were back with each other again he didn’t need to keep it anymore. Yet he did. Any subtle hints Dean tried to make about it were all ignored, too. It wasn’t even an awesome car. Just a stupid BMW that, okay, probably had more legroom for the giant sasquatch than the impala did, but still, it was just a boring car nothing fancy. Why was he so set on keeping it?

When Sam had gone outside to work on the stupid car, he’d been alone. But Dean knew even before he moved to go look out the window that his brother wasn’t alone anymore. The laughter told him just who was out there.

Sure enough, when Dean looked through the window he found his brother was no longer alone. Gabriel was sitting cross-legged on top of an upside down milk crate next to the tool box that Sam had dragged out. Sam was half in and half out of the backseat and it looked like he actually had the seat back pulled open. Was that—was he putting in a hidden compartment behind the backseat? Dean’s stomach dropped. Sam wouldn’t have any need to do that if he wasn’t planning on keeping the car, and he wouldn’t be planning on keeping the car if he planned on hunting with Dean once this was done and over with. What was he planning on doing? Hunting with _Gabriel_?

He watched as Sam drew out of the car just enough to wave the tool in his hand at Gabriel and say something. Whatever it was he said had Gabriel’s whole face lighting up. The archangel threw his head back and laughed, openly and happily, with an honest joy there that Dean hadn’t ever seen on him. He’d seen Gabriel grumpy, annoyed, pissed, amused, mischievous, a bit dangerous, possessive, and in moments where he was looking at Sam, happy, but he’d never seen this kind of pure joy on him before. He looked like he was perfectly happy sitting there on an empty milk crate by a dirty old toolbox while Sam fixed up the backseat of his car. Like there was absolutely nowhere else in the world that he wanted to be.

Dean watched them and felt his worry grow. How much longer before his brother ran and left him behind again?

* * *

Another case came to the boys’ attention, brought to them this time by Bobby. It would seem that there was a young couple who had literally _eaten_ one another to death. Sam hadn’t been able to help the little disgusted curl of his lip as Bobby had told them about it. His brother had looked just as grossed out, but Gabriel had given them an eyebrow wiggle and said “Kinky.”

Sam didn’t think anything of it and just rolled his eyes. He was far too used to Gabriel’s view on cases. He wasn’t exactly known for tact and sensitivity. At least, not when it was just them going over the case. Sometimes the comments that came out of his mouth reminded Sam that Gabriel was very much _not_ human and had quite a different viewpoint. There were lines he didn’t cross, though, and so long as he avoided those, Sam overlooked what came out of his mouth. However, Dean wasn’t quite as used to it, and he scowled at Gabriel’s flippant remark. “Dude, _gross_.”

“Live a little, Deanie Boy.” Gabriel teased him.

“I wouldn’t if I did things like that.”

A laugh tumbled from the trickster and he grinned over at Dean. “Touché.”

Of course they agreed to take the case. There’d been little enough to do around here and another case would keep them busy. Neither Winchester was good at just being still. So they agreed to the case once Bobby finished presenting it to them and they headed off to gather their things together so that they could head out. Honestly, when Sam brought his bags downstairs—he’d been kind of surprised to discover that Gabriel had _things_ in the room they’d shared here. Since when did the archangel leave clothes or such behind instead of just snapping it in and out?—he didn’t really think anything of it as he carried them over to his car. He’d just shut the trunk lid when he heard Dean call out “Sam? What’re you doing?”

Still, it didn’t quite click yet, why his brother was looking at him like that. Sam furrowed his brows as he lifted his hands from the trunk and he made his way up towards the driver’s door. “Um, getting ready to go?”

“Baby’s over here.”

That obvious statement was what finally made it sink in. Sam’s eyes went wide with realization and then he ducked his head as his cheeks flamed a little. _Oh._ Dean was expecting them to just climb in the impala like they always did and go that way. He hadn’t planned on Sam trying to take his own car. Sam had grown pretty used to taking his own car, though, full of his own things. He liked driving, liked being able to play the radio on whatever he wanted or shut it off if he so wished, and he liked traveling with his passenger—a passenger who was pushing his way out Bobby’s front door right now. Dog was following on Gabriel’s heels and, to Sam’s surprise, so were Castiel and Anna.

“Your car’s gonna be plenty full, Deano! Cassy and Anna need somewhere to ride, too.” Gabriel called out. He and Dog made their way to Sam’s car and he flashed a grin and a wink at Sam.

Dean didn’t protest. Couldn’t, really, with Castiel and Anna both joining him at the impala, but it was clear he didn’t like this _at all_. Mentally, Sam shrugged. They’d deal with it later. He was getting pretty used to disappointing his brother. If all he’d done to upset him was ride in a different car, well, in the scheme of things that wasn’t really any big deal at all. He’d handle Dean’s temper later.

It wasn’t like he’d done this so he and Gabriel could have some big, secret talk, though he’d seen the suspicion that had briefly crossed Dean’s face. He knew his brother well enough to know that Dean would be wondering what on earth they were talking about. How amused would he have been to discover that they didn’t really talk at all? Sam let Gabriel fiddle around with the radio until he found a station that was playing something low and bluesy and then the trickster turned the volume down low until it was just a pleasant background sound and the two settled into companionable silence. Sam just drove, occasionally tapping his fingers on the wheel with the beat of the music, and Gabriel kicked back in his seat with his feet up on the dash and his eyes turned towards the window, while Dog was stretched out in the backseat sleeping.

They rode like that for a while and it was nice. Comfortable. Neither one felt the need to fill the silence with anything. Whatever thoughts Gabriel was having that had him staring absently out the window, Sam just left him to them. He was just happy to have archangel beside him instead of off doing whatever it was he needed to be doing. If he was needed elsewhere, he’d be there, Sam knew. He was happy to have him here.

About halfway through their trip they stopped off to put gas in the car and let Dog out for a moment. When they were done, Gabriel grinned at him and held out his hand, wiggling his fingers. Sam rolled his eyes and dropped the keys into his palm. Then he slipped down into the passenger’s seat.

This time it was Gabriel humming lightly, tapping his fingers on the wheel to the beat of the music while Sam curled up in the passenger’s seat. The atmosphere of the car was warm and easy, relaxed, and Sam found himself drifting a little.

The next time he opened his eyes, they were parked at a motel and Gabriel was turning the car off. Sam blinked sleepily as he looked around and registered that, yes, they were here, and so was Dean. Through the window he could see his brother leaning against the hood of the impala, talking with Castiel while also impatiently eyeing Sam’s car.

“I get the feeling your brother’s still not all that fond of me.” Gabriel said dryly as he pulled the keys out of the ignition.

Sam snorted and sat up a little. “Really? What was your first clue?”

Lifting one hand to rub at his face, he realized suddenly that there was something warm on him, restricting his arms a little. He wasn’t surprised to look down and find Gabriel’s jacket draped over him. It wasn’t the first time he’d done it. Despite the size of it, so small in comparison to Sam’s large frame, he’d never complained, never suggested Gabriel snap up a regular blanket or such instead. He never would, either. He liked that it was Gabriel’s jacket lying on him. Liked the idea of it, the feel of something from his lover, something that carried that scent to it that was purely Gabriel. It was, soothing. Comforting.

Gabriel was chuckling as they both climbed out of the car. Pulling the jacket off him once he was up on his feet, Sam handed it over to Gabriel and then took a second to stretch. When he looked back over at his brother, he found Dean glaring a little. It wiped away as he pushed off his car. He tossed something Sam’s direction and, on reflex, the younger Winchester caught it. Looking down, he found a room key in his hand. “We’re in 24 over here.” Dean called out. Then, before Sam could say anything, he turned and made his way into the room he’d just gestured to. Castiel followed in after him, though Anna stayed by the car watching Sam and Gabriel.

“Did he seriously just book one room for two humans, three angels and a dog?” Gabriel asked incredulously.

Anna smothered a chuckle. “Technically, we don’t need the room. Only the two humans do.”

“Pfffft, says you!”

Reaching out, Sam put a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder, squeezing lightly to get his attention. He waited until golden eyes were turned up his way before he said “He didn’t push on the car as much as he could’ve. Let him have this one.”

“You don’t want me in there?” Gabriel asked, eyebrows shooting up.

That had Sam snorting. “Don’t be stupid.” He rolled his eyes and snagged the keys from Gabriel’s hand. As he turned to go to the trunk, he saw Anna watching him with surprise on her face and immediately he flushed, realizing just how strange it probably seemed to her to see him getting snarky with an archangel of all beings. Gabriel, however, was grinning. “Getting lippy there, kiddo?”

As he unlocked the trunk, the younger Winchester shot a grin of his own towards his lover. “You like it.” He bent in and pulled out their bags, slinging them over his shoulder. Straightening up, he shut the trunk and met Gabriel’s eyes again. “I’d bore you otherwise.”

Laughter bubbled out of Gabriel. Mischievous eyes met his and he enjoyed seeing the spark in them. “Damn right. Like I told you once, I like my boys with a little fight in em.”

The blatant sexual tone to his words had not only Sam blushing, but Anna as well. Smirking proudly, Gabriel snagged Sam for a quick kiss before telling him “Go on and get settled, kiddo, get to work on your case. The angel squad and I got a few things we need to check out. I’ll be back by tonight.”

Sam waited until the two flew away before he made his way inside.

* * *

Later, Sam would think how ironic it was that they’d taken this case as a way to distract themselves while searching for the remaining Horsemen, only to find out that it wasn’t a monster in the town they’d come to—it was Famine. At the time he was too busy sweating and fighting back the churning nausea in his gut to appreciate much of anything. He was currently bent over the sink in their motel bathroom with his hands clenched down on the edges so hard his knuckles were turning white. There was a large part of him that wanted nothing more than to call out to Gabriel and beg him to come here and help him. Dean had called for Castiel earlier, who had of course shown up immediately, but Sam had held off on calling his lover. Whatever Gabriel was doing, it was no doubt more important than this. He was probably working on something for their Plan A. Sam could handle this. He could handle working on Plan B without begging Gabriel for help.

The cramp hit his stomach hard and he bent down low over the sink again and fought not to hurl. He listened to his brother and his brother’s angel discussing how they’d stopped War and he squeezed his eyes shut as he remembered that case, remembered the distrust he’d seen on his brother’s face when Sam had been up against the demons, and he knew it would be ten times worse this time around. This was a Horseman that fed _hunger_. Sam had never felt a craving this strong.

_I can’t do this_ , he thought to himself. _I can’t do this._

He wouldn’t be able to resist, he knew. He just wouldn’t. He’d proved so many times in the past that he wasn’t capable of resisting something like this. Sam knew he wasn’t strong. He was weak and he’d break—it was just a matter of time. As much as he hated it, as horrible as it made him feel, there was only one thing he could think of doing here. Ignoring the sound of his brother calling his name, Sam gripped the sink tighter and kept his eyes closed as he sent up a desperate prayer to the one being he knew he could truly count on and the only one strong enough to make sure that Sam didn’t screw everything up yet again. _Gabriel, I know you’re busy, I’m so sorry, but I need you. Please, I need your help. I can’t do this. I can’t._

“Sam.”

There was no rustle of feathers, no snap, nothing to warn him of Gabriel’s arrival. Just the sudden sound of his name and then familiar hands were on him. At the first touch Sam let go of his desperate grip on the sink and spun around to grip onto a much better anchor. He wrapped his arms around Gabriel and buried his face in against the trickster’s hair. Gabriel hugged him back with arms that Sam knew were strong enough to keep him here. There was a warmth in Sam’s mind that he’d come to recognize as Gabriel actively looking, not just listening to the surface thoughts.

_I can’t do this,_ Sam thought. _I’m not strong enough, Gabe. I can’t do this. I’ll break, you know I will. I always do. And I can’t afford to screw this up._

“Be quiet.” Gabriel said firmly. “Just, shut up, right now, you infuriating idiot of a human.” Drawing back, he pulled his arms in and slid them up so he could grab two fistfuls of Sam’s hair, using them as handles to yank him down until they were nose to nose. “One of these days I’m going to convince you that you’re not the screw up you seem so damn determined to believe you are. Now quit whining, _shut up_ , and help think of ways to take care of this instead of moaning about how much of a screw up you think you are. Got it?”

The words were harsh and rude and just exactly what Sam needed. His hands clenched in Gabriel’s jacket briefly before he forced them to relax. “Okay.” The word was soft, just a whisper, but it held strength to it, a strength that was wrapped up in the support of the angel in front of him. Still, he couldn’t help but ask “But, if I…”

“I won’t let you do anything.” Gabriel promised.

He slumped a little from sheer relief. “Thank you.”

Footsteps stomped their way towards them and he heard Dean calling out “Dude, what are you…oh, man, c’mon!” Looking up, he found Dean standing in the bathroom doorway, scowling at him. “Seriously? You guys are gonna do this _now_? We’ve got a Horseman out there we’re trying to stop, y’know!”

Gabriel let go of Sam’s hair and smoothed it back down. Then he turned to face Dean, never once breaking completely away from Sam. Some part of him stayed in contact at all times. “You got a plan for that yet, bucko? Or you going with the Winchester Special—bust in and hope you don’t die?”

A sneer curled Dean’s lips. “Yeah, we got a plan, asswipe. We’re gonna track him down, take our shiny little knife in, and cut the ring right off his finger, just like we did with War. You two coming, or you wanna stand here and make out a little longer?” He didn’t give them time to answer, just spun and marched away.

Sam could feel the tension in Gabriel’s body. The archangel drew in a completely unnecessary breath and blew it back out slowly. “I’m going to smite your brother one of these days if he doesn’t remove that stick from his ass. Or at least replace it with something a lot more fun.”

“Ew.” Sam said on reflex. Then, “No smiting my brother.”

“I’ll bring him back.”

Rolling his eyes, Sam shook his head. “I think you’ve killed him enough for one lifetime, don’t you?”

Amusement colored Gabriel’s face as he looked up at the taller hunter. “Ah, good times, good time.” He grabbed hold of Sam’s hand then and tugged on him before Sam could give any kind of reply. “C’mon, Samshine. Let’s go make sure no one dies in this idiotic plan.”

“Gabe…”

“Trust me, Sam.” He stopped at the door, turning to look up at Sam. He repeated himself, voice just a bit softer, turning it into more of a question than a statement. “Trust me?”

“Yes.”

The smile that got him was blindingly bright. With one quick kiss, Gabriel tugged him out of the bathroom.

* * *

Finding Famine was simple. Now that they had Gabriel here, it took him only moments to locate the Horseman. That, of course, only set Dean off even more. “Why the hell couldn’t you tell us earlier? You think it was funny, watching us run around?” He snapped.

“Can you two save this for a different time?” Sam interrupted before the argument could truly get going. “We’re don’t really have time for you two to fight right now. “ He could see the temper in Gabriel’s eyes and the fear based temper in Dean’s. Fear and stress were never things that Dean handled well; he was always more comfortable being angry. He wasn’t one to handle change well, either, despite their nomadic lifestyle. Some things in Dean’s world were set in stone and anything that changed or challenged them just served to piss him off. Gabriel’s presence alone was a big enough change to keep Dean almost constantly on edge. It didn’t help at all that they didn’t get along. If this were just a normal case, Sam would’ve asked his lover to let them be, at least for a bit. He would’ve catered to what Dean felt in an effort to relax and reassure him. But this was a Horseman they were taking on and having an archangel on their side was one of their best chances of surviving this. Even more than that, Sam had quickly noticed that his cravings, while not gone, were noticeably lessened when Gabriel stayed close. Even more so if they were touching. When he first realized it, Gabriel had given him a smile and a wink and said nothing more on it.

“Sam is right.” Castiel chimed in. Though Anna was still off doing whatever she and Gabriel had been doing before, Castiel was still with them, faithfully at Dean’s side. “We have much more important things to attend to. Famine is inside that eating establishment and right now, he must be our first priority.”

“We have to assume he knows we’re coming.” Sam pointed out.

“Oh yeah.” Gabriel agreed. “But I doubt he’s expecting _all_ of us. You two,” He gestured with one hand to Castiel and Dean in the front seat. “should go around the back, try and sneak in that way.”

“And you two?” Castiel asked.

Gabriel exchanged a look with Sam and for that moment, the two were in perfect accord. The hunter gave a small nod. Gabriel had asked for trust; he was giving it to him. Winking, Gabriel looked back towards the front. “Sammy and I are gonna walk right in the front doors. We’re gonna give him the one he’s probably expecting the most and someone he’s not expecting at all. Hopefully it’ll throw him off enough to give us a chance to take out his helpers. While we distract him, it should give you two the chance to creep in from the back and cut the bastard’s ring off.”

It sounded about as good as any other plan the boys had followed before. Of course, like any of their other plans, none of it went the way it was supposed to.

That was how Sam found himself standing, sweating up a storm in front of Famine while Dean was held down by demons and Gabriel and Castiel long gone. Who knew Horsemen and demons could use angel banishing sigils? Sam had experienced a moment of true terror when the angels had been banished. Then everything had been washed away underneath the wave of _need_ that swamped him.  It was only a residual feeling of warmth from Gabriel that kept Sam from jumping straight at the demons in front of him and draining them of all that glorious blood that he could smell riding underneath their skins. It smelled so _good_. So _delicious_. His mouth was salivating for it. Just one, just one taste, one little bit was all he needed. A voice inside that sounded a lot like Gabriel snapped out _Don’t you dare, Sam! You can do it. You’re stronger than this! You can do it!_ Groaning, Sam dropped down to his knees, one hand gripping his stomach and his other hand curling into the floor.

“What did you do to him?” Dean called out furiously. He struggled futilely against the hands holding him and glared at the disgusting man in the wheelchair.

Famine grinned at him. “He’s hungry, just as they all are.”

“So this is your big trick? Huh?” Dean asked, sneering. “Making people cuckoo for cocoa puffs?”

“Doesn't take much—hardly a push. Oh, America…all-you-can-eat, all the time. Consume, consume. A swarm of locusts in stretch pants. And yet, you're all still starving because hunger doesn't just come from the body, it also comes from the soul.”

Dean let out a low chuckle that didn’t hold any mirth to it. “It’s funny, it doesn't seem to be coming from mine.”

Groaning, Sam looked up, watched how Famine seemed to grin wider at his brother when he heard that. “Yes. I noticed that. Have you wondered why that is? How you could even walk in my presence?”

“Well, I like to think it's because of my strength of character.” Dean’s tone was a familiar flippant one and his smirk bright.

“I disagree.” Famine rolled closer and Sam struggled to make his body move, to try and do _anything_ to keep that _thing_ from touching his brother, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t get his feet under him in enough time to stop Famine from touching Dean briefly. “Yes. I see.” Famine wheezed out. He drew his hand back to his chair once more. “That's one deep, dark nothing you got there, Dean. Can't fill it, can you? Not with food or drink. Not even with sex.”

“Oh, you're so full of crap.”

“Oh, you can smirk and joke and lie to your brother, lie to yourself, but not to me! I can see inside you, Dean. I can see how broken you are, how defeated. You can't win, and you know it. But you just keep fighting. Just... keep going through the motions. You're not hungry, Dean, because inside, you're already...dead.”

Sam watched the devastation hit his brother’s eyes, the utter certainty that this monster was right, and it infuriated him. _No._ No one got to do that to Dean. No one got to hurt him like that, threaten him that way. Sam took the rage that put in him and he used it, embraced it, letting it feed him the strength to put first one foot down and then the other. Though the craving raced through every inch of him and boiled his insides, he shoved up to his feet, shaking all the way. He was still shaking as he glared at Famine, but his voice was firm and hard. “Let him go.”

Two of the demons that were guarding Famine moved forward as if to attack him, only to be stopped by a surprising shout of “Stop!” from Famine. “No one lays a finger on this sweet little boy.”

Disgust rolled in Sam’s stomach, warring with the _hunger_. Oh, God, he was so damn _hungry_!

Famine’s eyes were bright. “That’s it, Sam. You are so hungry, aren’t you? Don’t fight it, my boy. Let yourself go! You don’t have to worry. You're not like everyone else. You'll never die from drinking too much. You're the exception that proves the rule. Just the way...Satan wanted you to be. So...” Lifting his hands, Famine gestured at the group of demons around him and he raised his voice, crying out “Cut their throats. Have at them!”

Horror widened Dean’s eyes. “Sammy, no!”

It was tempting. God, it was so tempting! Sam wanted to reach out to them, grab them in, drain them all until there was nothing left. He wanted to take in every single drop that they had left. But that little bit of warmth in him, that bit of power and grace that was left from Gabriel, gave him a strength he knew he wouldn’t have otherwise. Gripping tight to it, he somehow found the strength to utter one soft word. “No.”

He forced himself not to look over at his brother for this next part. He couldn’t stand the idea of what he would see in Dean’s eyes. Lifting his hand, Sam concentrated, pulling on the power that Gabriel had taught him to harness. It was so hard, went so far against what his insides were _screaming_ at him to do, but he fought it, pushing his need and his anger to help fuel the power as he grabbed the demons closest to him and yanked them from their hosts. It was a power he was still learning to control and using rage to fuel it, as Gabriel had warned him, made his head throb, but he pulled until the demon smoke pooled onto the floor.

Famine watched it all, his grin turning to a sneer, and his temper growing in his eyes. “Well…” He wheezed out furiously. “Fine. If you don't want them...then I'll have them.”

Disgust curled Sam’s stomach as he watched Famine inhale the demon smoke. Yet, watching it, it gave him an idea. A crazy, stupid, _insane_ idea. He watched the smoke vanish inside of Famine and waited until lit was all in before he took a shaking step forward and lifted his hand. With the demons exorcised, the appeal of blood _right here_ was gone, though the need was still there, and that gave him the extra boost of strength. Without temptation right in his face, it was easier to push that need up, to use it to fuel his powers.

Famine watched him with a smug superiority.  “I’m a Horseman, Sam. Your power doesn't work on me.”

“You’re right. But it will work on them.” Sam said. Then he _pushed_ , grabbing the demons inside of Famine, and _pulling_. A loud scream echoed around them as Sam kept tugging. His head was throbbing, blood dripped from his nose, and he just kept pulling, pouring everything he had into it. “Dean!” he shouted over the pounding inside his head. “The ring!”

He watched his brother jump up, watched him race over to Famine’s hand. The pain in Sam’s head grew stronger until he almost screamed.

The last thing he saw before the world went dark was the knife slamming down on Famine’s hand.

* * *

Gabriel couldn’t find the words to express the fear that gripped his grace when he finally pieced himself back together enough to fly back to Sam’s side. It was a sensation of terror he hoped he would never gain have to feel. He flew with all the speed the messenger possessed, without a single care of who might see him, straight back to that Biggerson’s where he’d been banished from. He had no idea what he might find or what might be waiting there for him. All he knew was that he’d left Sam alone there—left him, after promising to be there, to keep him safe.

When he landed, the only thing he had eyes for was the body lying on the ground. Only vaguely did he register that it was Dean kneeling over Sam, and that recognition was the only thing that saved the older Winchester from being sent flying. The rest of the room was dead and gone and of absolutely no importance to the archangel. Not even Castiel, who landed moments after Gabriel, was of any real importance. Everything important in Gabriel’s world was currently lying on the ground. He felt the blazing glow of Sam’s soul and knew that his lover was alive. Hurt, but alive. The archangel shot forward and dropped down to his knees by Sam’s head. He cupped Sam’s head between his hands and reached out with his grace to seek out and heal any injuries.

Dean said something; Gabriel could hear the distant buzz of it. That’s all it was, though, just a buzz on the edge of his senses. No more important than some annoying little fly around his head. He ignored it and focused on the man he held. He felt Castiel’s grace as the angel moved forward and a snarl sprang from his lips. Behind him, on a plane only another angel would be able to see, his wings snapped out wide in open threat.

Immediately, Castiel backed away, drawing Dean back with him.

Only when he was a little ways away did Gabriel relax. He didn’t put his wings away, though. Instead, he curled them around Sam, sheltering him from any more harm.

His grace wiped away the splitting headache that Sam would’ve had once he woke, as well as the damage he’d done by pushing his powers farther than he’d ever pushed them without the aid of demon blood. He wiped away the residual need that was still crawling through Sam’s blood from Famine’s influence, too. Without Famine here to fuel it, it stood no match against Gabriel’s power. However, he didn’t bother trying to wake him. Using his powers the way that he had had taken a lot of energy out of his young lover. Sam would need time and sleep to be able to heal from it. Sleep that he wouldn’t get here.

“You guys gotta get us outta here.” Dean was saying somewhere behind him. “Zap us to Bobby’s before Sammy wakes up. We need to get him in the panic room."

“Like hell.” Gabriel snarled out. Gathering Sam carefully into his arms, he snapped them back to the motel room. He brought Dean and Castiel with him only because he knew that Sam would be upset otherwise. With gentle hands, he carefully laid Sam down on the bed furthest from the door. Another snap left Sam’s skin clean and had him clothed in a clean pair of sweats and a t-shirt that he usually liked to sleep in.

There was a rustle of movement behind him and Gabriel’s wings snapped up protectively around the man lying on the bed. He twisted enough to glare and snarl at whoever was stupid enough to come close while he had his lover lying here.

He found Dean standing a few feet away, stopped from coming any further by Castiel’s hand on his arm. “Dean.” Castiel said firmly. “You need to stay back until Gabriel has assured himself of Sam’s safety.” That said, he looked over to Gabriel and his tone changed into one of care and respect. “He is family, Gabriel. He seeks only to check on his brother’s wellbeing.”

Looking at the older Winchester, Gabriel’s lip curled up slightly. “No, he doesn’t. He’s looking to lock him up, not take care of him.”

“Don’t give me that look.” Dean snapped. “You have no idea what you’re dealing with. We need to get him in the panic room before he wakes up.”

It wasn’t hard at all for him to hear the thoughts that Dean’s mind was practically screaming at him. Gabriel growled and power flashed in his eyes. Not just the power of an archangel, but Loki’s power as well, both rising up in protection of the unconscious hunter. “He didn’t drink any demon blood, you idiot. His powers are his! I’ve been teaching him how to use them without having to drink that shit.” Pushing up from the edge of the bed, Gabriel drew himself up. Loki’s power crackled along his skin as his temper boiled inside of him. “For all the faith your brother has in everyone else, why can’t one of you for once show him the same courtesy? He just stood there and took on _Famine,_ a Horseman, and he _won_. He resisted Famine’s powers enough to take him down. Do you understand how absolutely _astounding_ that is? How freaking amazing your brother is? Even if he had slipped, how dare you act so judgmental about it? Like you’re so much better than him!” Taking a step forward, Gabriel jabbed a finger at him. “I won’t let you make him feel bad about this. I won’t let you make him doubt himself, _again_. So I suggest you rethink your attitude before he wakes up, bucko, or I’m grabbing him and taking him far, far away from you.”

Spinning, Gabriel moved back to the bed, carefully settling himself down on it. He stroked a bit of Sam’s hair back from his face and ignored anything going on outside of their little bubble. Let Castiel deal with Dean and his idiotic temper and bad attitude.

There came the sound of the motel room door slamming shut. Gabriel snorted and rolled his eyes. Of course. Go figure. The Winchester answer for almost anything—a bar.

“He is a good man, brother.” Castiel said softly. He still stood in the center of the room, watching the pair at the bed. “He reacts from a place of fear, that is all. Samuel was not the only one affected by Famine.”

Gabriel blew out a breath and tried to push some of his temper away with it. He knew he needed to calm down. Castiel was right; it wasn’t just Sam who’d been affected. In Sam’s mind, he’d seen what had happened, seen the whole series of events. He’d seen how Famine had played with Dean and he couldn’t really blame the hunter for his reactions. It was just, dammit, he hated seeing the doubt that others had in Sam—hated knowing that it was nothing compared to the doubt Sam had for himself. It made him angry to see everyone so ready to assume the worst of Sam just because he’d made a few mistakes. All of that swirled together with the guilt that Gabriel felt for being so damn _stupid_ as to walk into a trap and get freaking banished right when Sam needed him. Gabriel lifted a hand and wiped it over his face. “I know, Castiel. I just...” He blew out a frustrated breath.

“You care. And in doing so, you fear. I am told fear makes one say many foolish, angry things.”

A low laugh broke free from Gabriel. “Yeah, little bro. Yeah, it does.”

From down by his feet came the sound of a low whine and Gabriel looked down to see Dog sitting there staring up at him. The terrier had refrained from jumping up on the bed so far, but he was giving Gabriel a look now that clearly said exactly where he wanted to be. The way that the pup had taken to Sam made Gabriel smile to himself. “Go on, get up there.” He said, gesturing to the bed. Immediately Dog hopped up and went right to the curve of Sam’s legs to lay behind his knees. He settled down there with his throat resting on Sam’s knee. The archangel shook his head. “He’s fine, just tired. Don’t wake him up.” It was tempting to just lie down in bed with Sam and stay there for a while until the younger Winchester woke up and Gabriel could take the time to properly reassure himself that his lover was okay.

Behind him, he felt Castiel move forward just the slightest bit, coming close without coming too close. He obviously wasn’t willing to test Gabriel’s protectiveness. Smart angel. Then he went and surprised Gabriel completely by murmuring, “You are good for him.”

Eyebrows almost up to his hairline, Gabriel turned an incredulous look towards his brother. Good for him? He took care of Sam, sure, kept him alive and all, but he’d hurt the kid plenty of times before. He still could, so easily. “I’m not nice, Castiel.” It’d been a long time since he’d been the kind of nice that his brother meant.

Castiel cocked his head to the side to watch Gabriel curiously. “You are Gabriel.” He said it as if that explained it all; as if that were the answer.

“No, not the way you mean it.” Gabriel told him. He shook his head and looked over at his own little brother, saw the confusion there and smiled a little. The other angel didn’t understand, he knew, and that was fine. Gabriel hadn’t understood at first, either. Not until Sam with his too big heart and his simple words laid it all out bare. He didn’t have to be just Gabriel, or Loki. He wasn’t either or, following a set idea for what they should be. He was just _him._ Turning his eyes back to the human that so captivated him, he let his smile warm, let it soften, even as that familiar possessive feeling welled up in him. _Mine. All mine_. “I’m not the archangel I used to be, Castiel. I don’t think I ever can be again. I’ve seen too much, done too much, to ever go back to that version of myself. Just like you’ve seen and done too much to ever be the angel you were before you pulled the Righteous Man from hell.”

Castiel nodded his understanding and agreement. He was different from who he’d been, he knew. It would make sense that Gabriel, who had lived on earth for so much longer, would have changed even more. “Then who are you?” He asked, in all honesty. “Loki?”

That drew a chuckle from him. “No. And yes, at the same time.” He laughed again when Castiel’s confusion grew. “I’m all of them and none of them. I’m not just Gabriel, or Loki. Not just archangel or trickster. I’m just me. Just this Gabriel, right here, right now.” _Sam’s Gabriel,_ he thought to himself. It was cheesy and he would’ve rolled his eyes and sneered at anyone who dared say it. Yet, it was a simple truth. He liked who he saw reflected back at him in Sam’s eyes. “I’m snarky, sometimes petty, sometimes mean, and always possessive. I’m flawed and imperfect. I’m dark—darker than those boys realize sometimes. Not just because of Loki.”

“They don’t truly understand how devastating a weapon an archangel can be.” Castiel murmured. He hesitated and then those bright blue eyes turned towards him. “You were always more. Kinder than the others.”

“And yet deadlier, sometimes. I was Father’s messenger, but Father’s message wasn’t always nice.” Gabriel’s smile tightened just the slightest bit. ‘Heaven’s fiercest weapons.’ The term used to describe archangels. Fierce weapons, instruments of their Father’s will. Protectors. And every ounce of angelic protection, every bit of strength and love the archangel had been made with, every possessive and protective urge that came from the Loki part of him—all of it belonged to that long limbed puppy lying there on the motel bed. That self-sacrificing idiot who had absolutely no realization of his own value or worth. Who believed that he was worth nothing more than as a means to stopping this thing, no matter the cost. Who was currently reaching out in the cool, empty space on the bed, a little furrow building between his eyebrows as he searched for something that wasn’t there. With a wing, Gabriel reached out, brushing long feathers across Sam’s back, and his grace warmed and danced inside of him at how Sam immediately relaxed with a happy little sigh.

The gesture didn’t go unnoticed by Castiel. His wings twitched, the same as a human sucking in a sharp breath from surprise. When Gabriel looked back at him, he found the younger angel watching him with those intense eyes, a whole new look there. “When you took the risk of claiming him to Anna, I knew you considered the boy special—but does he realize the significance of what gifts you grant him?” He left no doubt as to what he meant when he cast his eyes once more to where one of Gabriel’s wings still rested protectively over the sleeping man. To be sheltered under them as Gabriel had done before was a big enough thing, but still something that one could do for their charge. But to be touched by the wing of an archangel, to be sheltered and stroked with it as Sam was now, was a big thing. Wings were used to fly, to fight, to defend, to protect. They were a great weapon and, if caught close to the base as he’d done to Anna, a great weakness. But for an archangel, they were even more important, almost intimate in some ways. And to make them soft like this, to use them not simply as protection from dreams or threat but as a tender touch, as comfort, was an extremely intimate act.

Gabriel smiled to himself as he brushed his primaries over Sam’s cheek. The hunter arched his face up a little into the touch, though he stayed asleep. “He knows.” Even if they didn’t put it into words, even if he never told Sam all of it, he knew that the hunter understood. Far better than anyone would give him credit for. And he returned the gifts with ones of his own, precious gifts that Gabriel cradled to him, cherished for what they were. There were words that hadn’t been exchanged between the two of them. Words that neither one of them had the courage to say out loud so far. Their actions, however, spoke loud enough for them both.

“Sam is my friend, but I admit, I do not see in him what you do.”

The words weren’t meant maliciously, Gabriel knew, as others might’ve taken them. Castiel was simply stating a fact. Because of that, Gabriel didn’t take offense. He just gave his little brother a knowing smile. “That’s because you still see the demon blood. A part of you still judges him by that taint.”

Castiel cocked his head to the side. “And you do not?”

“I see it.” How could he not? It was a part of Sam, no matter how much he wished it wasn’t. Gabriel shot his brother a smile, one that was bright and sharp in the dark of the room, one that had frightened many an asshole who has crossed Loki’s path. “It just makes him all the more interesting to me. I’ve bathed in more blood than that boy will ever know, and that was before I ever became Loki.” With a final chuckle, he snapped his fingers to change into pajamas before shifting on the bed so that he was no longer sitting down but was instead lying with his lover.

Though even Gabriel could tell that Castiel and Dean were working towards something, his little brother never did anything but stand silent vigil over the hunter at night. Castiel may have been content to watch silently over Dean from nearby, but Gabriel wasn’t, nor had he ever been, and he didn’t have the same constraints on him that Castiel did. His human admitted easily to wanting Gabriel in his bed. In fact, as soon as Gabriel lay down, Sam shifted back to him, snuggling backwards until he had the archangel right up against his back. Without hesitation, Gabriel draped himself over Sam’s back, pleased as he felt his hunter melt down into the bed underneath him. A few times now Gabriel had heard Sam’s amused thoughts about their usual sleeping positions, and he’d just let them go for now. No need to point out to Sam how much easier he slept when they were like this. Gabriel had noticed it the first time and had tested it out a few more times before he’d been sure. Even in the worst of nightmares, Sam always started to sleep better when Gabriel lay on him this way, the presence of his self-proclaimed protector making him feel safe and comfortable, which in turn made Gabriel’s grace hum happily in his vessel.

He had Sam, safe and sound underneath him, and he could feel Castiel flying off to go take care of his own hunter. Famine was gone, the ring held safely with Dean, and for the moment, for this night, everything was okay. In the morning there would be plenty enough to deal with. Finding Pestilence, taking care of whatever mental damage this whole thing had done to Sam, and so many other things. But, for now, Gabriel snuggled down into the body under his, burying his face against Sam’s neck, and he let himself bask in the safety of the human who had become more important to him than any other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this is ending up WAY longer than I'd planned O.o I'm so glad you guys have stuck around with me for it and for all the comments you guys have left. I hope you're still enjoying it as much now as you were at the start. We're reaching the home stretch now :)
> 
> Remember, don't forget to let me know what you think! ;) I love hearing your opinions, good and bad, even if I don't always remember to reply, lol


	16. Chapter 16

Things were strained between everyone the next morning. Sam felt it from the moment he woke up. When he dragged out of Gabriel what had happened after he’d passed out, reading between the lines enough to see just how upset his brother truly was, he understood the atmosphere of the motel room a little better. Though it seemed to bother the hell out of Gabriel, honestly, it could’ve been worse, and Sam was mostly just grateful. When he’d used his powers he’d known that he was risking a whole lot. He’d known that it would upset and infuriate Dean. The fact that Dean wasn’t striking out at him or anything like that, the younger Winchester counted it as a win. And he knew his brother better than anyone left alive; knew that Dean’s silence wasn’t all for Sam. The breakfast sitting on the table was clue to that.

Dean had been gone when Sam first woke up, which had given the younger hunter a chance to pry the story out of Gabriel. But it hadn’t taken long for Dean to come back. When he did, he arrived bearing some basic breakfast and some coffee. Sam’s first drink of the coffee had surprised him. He’d expected something cheap, diner or McDonald’s coffee, but instead found a white chocolate mocha, with the extra pump of white chocolate he liked to indulge in sometimes. It was a special drink, one that Dean often rolled his eyes over, and the fact that his brother had gone out of his way to get it and bring it to him meant a lot. It was a Winchester style apology and the best that Sam was probably going to get. That was fine. Sam drank it and let it chase away some of the chill that was still inside him.

They barely spoke at all as they loaded things up, just enough to make the agreement that they’d head back to Bobby’s place. Then Dean was in his car, alone—Sam had no idea where Castiel or Anna were, though Gabriel assured him they were fine—and he was pulling quickly away from the motel. It left Sam standing there staring after him with a low ache in his chest that was becoming all too familiar. It was the one that told him that he’d messed up, again. That he’d hurt and disappointed his brother, _again_. It was also the one that told him that there was something going on with his brother and it was something that Sam couldn’t help with. Famine had really gotten to Dean.

“He’s gonna be okay.” Gabriel said when Sam came back in the room.

Sam nodded and made his way over to start gathering up his things. “Eventually. Cas will help him through it.”

“You will too. Give him a little time to think about things and I’m sure he’ll be okay, kiddo.”

He knew Gabriel didn’t mean just okay with himself; he was trying to reassure him that Dean was going to be okay with him as well. Right then, Sam didn’t really want to hear it. He didn’t feel up to discussing it. Not while his hands were still shaking slightly from the leftover craving and he could feel that crawly feeling right underneath his skin. Drawing in a careful breath, he pulled his duffle bag close to him and firmly said “I’m not talking about this.”

Surprise colored Gabriel’s voice as he said “What?”

“You heard me. I’m not talking about this.” Stuffing the last of his things down into his bag, Sam yanked the zipper shut, refusing to turn around and look at his lover who he knew would be glaring at him right now. “I knew Dean was gonna be mad. I made that choice. Just like I made the choice to let you teach me how to use my powers to begin with. From the minute I agreed, I knew it would come out and I knew Dean’d be furious. He’ll be pissed for a while, he’ll blow up at me, he’ll even try to convince me not to use them anymore. But I made that choice and I’m not changing my mind. Dean can think whatever he wants and so can anyone else. It won’t be the first time I’ve ignored what everyone wants me to do.” It had been over his powers back then, too. But this was different and Sam knew that. He wasn’t drinking demon blood to do this. He wasn’t being pushed into doing something evil with his powers. Gabriel—an _archangel_ , not a demon this time—was teaching him how to use them, and he was doing it so that Sam could be in control instead of something else controlling him. Sam’s powers might be bad, they might be permanently changed because of all the demon blood he’d put into himself over the years, but they were his and he wasn’t going to regret taking control of them.

Gabriel was staring at him with surprise as Sam finally turned around to face him. Arms crossed over his chest, he stared at Sam for a long moment, seeing straight through him, deep down inside to the places no one else ever got to see. Whatever he found there had him shaking his head. There was a small smile that touched his lips, though. “You still manage to surprise me, Sam-I-am.” Mirth danced in golden orbs as they moved up to lock with Sam’s hazel ones. “I knew there was a reason you were my favorite.”

Sam didn’t acknowledge the little skip in his heart that came from hearing that. He just fished his keys out of his pocket and tossed them over to the archangel. “You drive first.” Right then he wasn’t going to trust his still shaky hands behind the wheel of a car and it was time for them to start heading back to Bobby’s. Slinging his bag over his shoulder, Sam followed his lover and their dog out of the room.

* * *

For the next little while, things were strained between the brothers. Sam wasn’t sure if someone had said something to Dean, or if maybe his brother was more upset than he thought, but the conversation about Sam’s powers never happened. He’d been expecting it from the moment they got back to Bobby’s house and so far he’d just been left waiting. Waiting, and worrying. Because it wasn’t just Dean not talking to him about his powers—though none of that stopped him from getting in a small dig or two in ways that Sam couldn’t quite retaliate to—it was him not talking about much of _anything_.

That was Sam’s first clue just how badly Famine had gotten to his brother.

Most of the time Dean spent out working on his car while Sam was inside on research. Sam wanted nothing more than to go and confront his brother. To force this issue out in the open and get it dealt with. But any time he tried, Dean made a quick escape. It didn’t help that the angels were spending almost every day away from them. The only time they saw them was in the evening. Sometimes, Sam didn’t even see Gabriel until it was time for bed. The two would shut themselves away in Bobby’s spare room and wrap up in one another and for that little bit of time, they’d leave the world outside the door. But, as he told Gabriel one night, having Castiel be gone for most of the day wasn’t really helping to improve Dean’s mood all that much. He tended to get crankier the longer he was apart from the younger angel.

Sam tried to do what he could but there was only so much that he _could_ do. Then, life caught up with them and there wasn’t really time for anything.

The dead were rising in Sioux Falls—and Bobby’s wife Karen was one of them.

It was a situation that Sam could honestly say he never wanted to have to deal with again. The whole thing was made worse by the fact that it happened right after Gabriel had warned him that he was going to have to spend a few days with Coyote to perform a ritual that was needed to begin the creation of the vessels. Of _course_ something like this had to happen while his lover wasn’t around! He had to console himself with the fact that Castiel and Anna at least were there when things started to go bad.

At first it wasn’t bad. Never before had Sam seen Bobby so happy. They all knew that this couldn’t be good, that the dead didn’t just come back to life, but Bobby would hear nothing of it. He had his wife and that was all that mattered to him. The brothers didn’t push it, even though they both knew that this was going to end badly. So Sam and Dean set out, together, to try and figure things out, and that was when they found out that the dead were rising all over town.

Five days. Five days was all it took for things to go bad.

The dead began to turn. It started with a fever, then a hunger, and then the town was full of the living dead that wanted nothing more than to eat the family that had so happily taken them back in. Sam and Dean had to split up just to be able to handle things. For Sam, it was a situation he’d never forget. Killing zombies was one thing. When they were children, the child of a woman you called friend, it wasn’t something you’d quickly forget. Sam just hoped one day Jody Mills would be able to forgive him for what he’d had to do. Not only did she lose her son, _again_ , she lost her husband as well, too late to save him from the appetite of her child.

The whole situation was hell. They saved the town, but at a hell of a cost. Seeing Bobby’s grief after he’d been forced to once more shoot his own wife, well, it was something that Sam wasn’t going to be able to forget any time soon.

The only thing they could do was grant Bobby the privacy he wanted. He wanted to grieve his wife alone. To take a few days and just mourn. How could they deny him that?

Neither brother expected what would happen next when they set out to follow a potential lead on Pestilence.

* * *

The motel room was just the same as any other. Just a simple, basic room, in this town that was supposed to hold a lead for them, something that might get them closer to Pestilence. As Sam sat in his bed and stared down the barrel of a gun, he cursed himself and his brother both for being stupid enough to fall into that kind of a trap. They’d been so eager to get out and let Bobby have his privacy that they hadn’t paid attention to this tip the way that they should’ve. And now they were paying the price. Sam had gone to sleep alone and cold without his lover by his side; when he’d heard a noise, he’d thought for sure it was Gabriel and he’d eagerly woke up. His mistake.

Movement from the bed beside him told him that his brother was finally waking up. He’d had enough to drink that it wasn’t any wonder it’d taken him this long to wake. Sam saw the subtle movement, the way that Dean’s hand slid towards the pillow, and he knew his brother had at least woken up smarter than he had. He was searching for his gun. Unfortunately…

“Looking for this?” One of their gunmen asked. There were two of them, both wearing masks. One kept his gun trained on Sam while the other stood at the foot of Dean’s bed. That one quickly disarmed the extra gun he held, Dean’s gun, and then tossed it aside.

Dean turned over, eyes immediately going to Sam, taking in the whole situation. He kept an air of casualness about him but Sam could see the way his eyes tightened briefly and how the green flashed when he saw the man with a gun pointing towards his brother. None of that showed in his voice, though. He kept it a husky, low drawl, almost insolent sounding. “Mornin’.”

“Shut up.” One of the men snapped. “Hands where I can see em.”

Immediately one hand lifted up, the other arm being used to prop him up. But Sam saw as his brother’s gaze sharpened briefly on the man and then twisted into a look of confusion. “Wait a minute.” He sat up slowly, eyes narrowed on the guy holding the gun his way. “Is that you, Roy?” A grin curved his lips. “It is, isn’t it?” His eyes shot over to the guy who was pointing a gun Sam’s way. “Which makes you Walt. Hiya Walt.”

The two gunmen looked to one another for a short beat and then the one Dean had called Walt reached up and yanked his mask up to show his face. “Don’t matter.”

“Well, is it just me, or do you two seem a tad upset?” Dean asked mockingly, spreading his hands out on either side. Sam wanted to reach out and smack him for being an idiot but he was a bit.

Then Walt spoke again and Sam’s whole mind froze in shock. “You think you can flip the switch on the Apocalypse and just walk away, Sam?”

Oh God. _Oh God_. Sam’s body froze and his voice came out just a soft whisper. “Who told you that?”

“We aint the only hunters after you.” Walt said. He pumped the shotgun and Sam couldn’t help how he jumped. “See you in the next life.”

“Hear me out. I can explain, okay?” he said quickly, knowing even as he spoke that it was pointless. “Please.” This couldn’t end like this. Not this way. If it were just Sam here, it would be one thing. But Dean was here. Dean, who wouldn’t just stand by no matter how mad he was. Dean, who would most likely end up dead beside him. Lucifer would just bring Sam back, he knew. This wouldn’t work. But Dean? He had no idea if Michael was offering Dean the same protection or not. Would Dean stay dead or would Michael bring him back? This couldn’t happen!

Sam saw his death in Walt’s eyes. There wasn’t going to be any stopping him. With everything he had in him, Sam prayed, calling out for the only one that could help his brother. _Gabriel!_

A shot rang out in the room and the only thing Sam knew was dark.

* * *

He was right, his brother died right beside him. Only, no one brought them back.

Sam and Dean both died and went to Heaven.

And then everything else seemed to go to hell.

* * *

Air rushed in one giant gasp into Sam’s too still lungs. He shot up in his bed, sucking the air in so sharply it stung, burning, and he choked on it. Immediately there were hands there bracing him up, holding him through it as the pain crested and then eased. Sam had to blink a few times to clear his eyes but when he did, he found Gabriel right there in front of him, golden eyes bright and glowing with power and something that Sam thought might be fear. The minute that their gazes locked and Gabriel could see that Sam was there, right there with him, the archangel moved. His hands gripped tight to Sam’s shirt and he held on as he flung one leg over Sam’s and moved to straddle the hunter’s lap. His hands slid off Sam’s shirt and up into his hair and he yanked him in for a brain melting kiss that almost stole all the air Sam had just gotten back.

They broke apart and Sam was gasping once more, trying to breathe and yet not quite able to catch his breath. The air around him was crackling with power and Sam swore he could see something out of the corners of his eyes, something wrapping around them both. He didn’t get a chance to try and look. Gabriel’s hands in his hair held his head firmly in place and the look in his eyes was so full of the emotion that was usually hidden away. “What did I tell you?” Gabriel snarled in a voice that was just a hair too shaky to be seriously furious. “You don’t get to die until I’m good and ready to let you go, Samuel Winchester.”

“I’m sorry.” Sam breathed out.

“You damn well better be.” He kissed him again, another crushing kiss that bordered on desperate. When they broke apart this time, Gabriel kept their foreheads pressed together, their lips just a breath apart. “You’re not going anywhere without me anymore. Shit happens to you every single time I leave you alone.”

That was something Sam could get behind. Right then, he didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t want to be anywhere away from Gabriel. He felt like his very soul was shuddering and his body was echoing the movement. He didn’t resist when Gabriel’s hands shifted in his hair and one palm cupped the back of his head, tugging him down until he could bury his face against Gabriel’s neck. The archangel’s other hand slid down to rub over Sam’s back soothingly. Cradled there, secure and safe, Sam opened himself up to his partner, let Gabriel see everything. He could hear Dean’s voice somewhere off to the side running through the gist of everything for Castiel. It hurt, replaying it all, almost as much as it had hurt to be there.

That was Heaven? That…that _place_ was supposed to be his Heaven? It was nothing like Sam had pictured it would be. Heaven was supposed to be happy. It was supposed to be a place of peace and happy memories. Seeing Dean’s memories had told him that. But Sam’s? Apparently even in Heaven, he was doomed to hurt the people he loved.

“ _Sam._ ” The sound of his name was an aching whisper against Sam’s hair. Gabriel pulled him in closer, held him tighter. His fingers snapped and Sam felt as his bloody clothes vanished and were replaced with clean.

A pained sound drew Sam’s attention up to the side of the room where his brother and his brother’s angel were standing. Sam looked over to find Castiel staring off into space with a look on his face that Sam could only describe as devastation. It had Gabriel sitting up a little straight as well, though he didn’t move off of Sam’s lap. “Castiel,” Gabriel called out lowly.

The angel didn’t even blink. He just stood there, staring. When he spoke, his voice was low and hesitant, and it reminded Sam of a child. A child begging an adult to give them some kind of explanation to make this all better. “Maybe… maybe Joshua was lying.” The angel suggested.

Sam winced and his hands clenched in Gabriel’s jacket. He was the one to answer, gentling his voice as if that would somehow make his words easier to hear. “I don’t think he was, Cas. I’m sorry.”

A shudder ran down Castiel’s frame. This was the most emotion that Sam had ever seen from him and he wished he didn’t have to. He wished that they didn’t have to bring news to these angels of theirs that hurt them this badly. Gabriel, he didn’t seem to be reacting to the news that his Father was basically washing his hands of them all, but Castiel—he looked like the news had _broken_ him. His eyes turned up towards the ceiling and a ragged curse tore past his lips. “You son of a bitch. I believed in…” Trailing off, he shook his head, and then he turned those bright blue eyes to Dean once more, and the look in them kept the older hunter silent. From his pocket, Castiel pulled out the amulet, Dean’s amulet, and he stared at it like it had personally harmed him. “I don’t need this anymore.” He tossed it to Dean. “It’s worthless.”

Sam couldn’t quite keep in his whimper that that. He pushed down his own hurt, though, more concerned for his friend. “Cas. Wait.” Sam said carefully. His words didn’t seem to get through—but Gabriel’s did.

“Castiel!” The archangel called sharply, the room ringing slightly with a hint of power in that single word. It worked to cut through Castiel’s grief like a knife and grab his attention. It was hard, harsh, and yet it worked to snap the angel back to the present. Aching blue eyes moved to Gabriel and the archangel—and this was all archangel, no bit of trickster in sight—met his stare and held it. Whatever he said next was in a liquid language that Sam recognized as Enochian. Neither hunter knew what was said but it was obvious it had an effect on Castiel. He visibly shuddered, eyes drifting closed, and then he nodded. His eyes lifted and locked on Dean. “I will be waiting outside.” That was all the warning he gave before he was gone.

Now that that was dealt with, Sam only had eyes for his brother, but his brother was very deliberately looking anywhere but at Sam’s bed. He was in clean clothes too, Sam saw, and he wondered absently if Gabriel had changed those as well. Sam didn’t know. Right then, he didn’t know much of anything. His body felt like it was shutting down on him. The only thing keeping him anchored was Gabriel. His presence was protecting Sam from all the pain he knew was waiting for him.

Well, not all of it. Sam watched as his brother stared down at the amulet in his hand. Then, without a word, without a glance their way, the older Winchester turned and headed towards the door. Sam swore it felt like the world around him held its breath as Dean stopped right by the door. What he did next was deliberate; Sam knew it. He knew that Dean wanted this to hurt him. Holding his hand over the trash, he let the necklace drop some, let it dangle just long enough to be sure that he had Sam’s attention, and then he dropped it. Then he was out the door.

Sam couldn’t break his gaze away from the garbage can. He didn’t notice the quiver that ran over him, didn’t even hear the whimpers that slipped almost silently past his lips. Gabriel noticed, though. He noticed, and his arms tightened a little around him in response. He knew what Sam wanted without the hunter having to ask and he snapped. The weight of the necklace settled around Sam’s neck, discreetly hidden under his shirts, safe with him and not in some stupid motel trash. He blew out a shaky breath and turned his face in towards Gabriel in gratitude. Maybe later on he would feel embarrassed for breaking down this way. Right at the moment, he just, he couldn’t. He couldn’t be embarrassed. There wasn’t enough in him. All he felt was numb.

The arms around him tightened briefly. They felt like a shield against the world and Sam was grateful for that. He didn’t want the world right now. He didn’t know if he could deal with it. “C’mon, kiddo.” Gabriel murmured against his hair. “Let’s get you outta here. I think it’s time we all flew back to Bobby’s.”

“Dean’ll want to drive.” The last thing he needed was to do anything that would set his brother off even more.

Again, there was a slight tightening in Gabriel’s hold, and this time he heard a low growl barely muffled by his hair. “Dean can bite me.” The words were delivered in a low, dangerous growl that said clearer than anything just how close to the edge Gabriel’s temper was. Sam was too numb to care; too numb to try arguing. He let Gabriel help him up and then leaned in to his companion as he heard a familiar snap and was caught up in that twisting sensation that always came with instant travel. When they landed, Sam blinked his eyes open and saw that they were standing in Bobby’s living room, Dean and Castiel with them, and Bobby and Ellen were gaping at them from the kitchen.

Almost immediately, Dean spun and glared right at Gabriel. “Dammit, Gabriel! How many times do I have to tell you…?”

“Listen here and listen well, _boy_.” Gabriel snarled out furiously, his voice crackling with a power that instantly silenced the whole room. “I don’t give a damn what you want right now. You’re damn lucky I didn’t leave you stranded there alone. If it wouldn’t have upset Sam, I would’ve.”

Dean scoffed, a harsh and bitter sound that made Sam flinch. “Yeah, right.”

That crackle of power grew and the very room trembled. A few nearby beer bottles actually exploded. Castiel, wide eyed, stepped up to Dean and gripped his shoulder, pulling him back with a low “ _Dean_!”

Through the numbness, there was a part of Sam that told him that he needed to stop this. He leaned himself in a little more into Gabriel’s hold and murmured a soft “Gabe.” That was all it took to snap the trickster’s attention to him. After a second, the trembling of the room stopped and the power slowly faded from a sharp threat to a low hum. “I’m taking Sam to my place for the night.” Gabriel told them without ever looking away from Sam’s face. “We’ll be back to discuss plans in the morning.”

It looked like Dean was going to protest but Castiel stopped him yet again. With another snap, Sam and Gabriel were gone.

The tension in the room they left behind was so thick it was palpable. Bobby waited only a moment after they were gone before he moved into the living room and demanded “Someone tell me what the hell is going on!”

* * *

It took Gabriel hours to get Sam settled down. The very first thing he did when he got the hunter to his place was get them both in the shower. Though he’d changed Sam’s clothes, the act of cleaning his lover, washing every inch of skin, was not just meant to soothe Sam but also as a sort of penance. He knelt at Sam’s feet in the shower and washed down his leg with his head bowed in silent apology for having so completely failed his lover. For having, yet again, been somewhere else when Sam needed him. He knew Sam wasn’t there enough right now to appreciate the gesture but that was fine. Gabriel didn’t do it for acknowledgement.

Once done, he bundled Sam up in the fluffiest, softest towel he had and took him out to the bedroom to dry him off.

The archangel wanted to talk to Sam about what he’d seen in his mind. He wanted to tell him that all those thoughts he was having, all the pain that was in him, wasn’t his fault. However, right now wasn’t a time for words. Nothing he said would be heard. Sam was too deep in shock for that. It made Gabriel’s grace physically _hurt_ to see the pain that Sam was in. All he could do was pull the taller man down into bed and wrap around him and cradle him close like the precious human that he was. Gabriel’s wings wrapped around him to shelter him from the rest of the world even as his brain told him _too little, too late_. He held Sam’s limp, unresisting form close, and waited for what he knew would eventually come. While he waited, he seethed.

Heaven wasn’t supposed to be like this! It wasn’t supposed to _hurt_. How far had his brothers and sisters fallen that they allowed something like this to happen? How far had _Michael_ fallen? Once, the good son wouldn’t have _dared_ to do something like this. He never would’ve allowed someone’s personal Heaven to be manipulated this way. A soul’s personal Heaven was a sacred thing. To mess with it the way that Sam’s had been messed with, to cause harm so deep Gabriel could see the wounds it left behind on his human’s very soul, was an atrocity so deep there were no words for it. There was nothing that could justify this. _Nothing_.  For the first time in a long, long, _long_ time, Gabriel felt rage. Not the anger of Loki, but the true rage of an archangel. The only thing that kept him from blowing his own witness protection and going after the ones stupid enough to harm this gorgeous soul that he had claimed was the knowledge that Sam needed him here.

So he pushed that rage back, pushed it down where it couldn’t touch Sam, and focused on wrapping his lover up in peace and safety and, yes, love. He stroked his hands over Sam’s back, through his hair, and let his feathers stroke lightly over him as they made a cocoon for him to safely hide away in. And when the shock finally broke and Sam could no longer hide from that pain inside, Gabriel continued to hold him through every tear, every silent sob, and every moment of grief from a soul that was constantly being attacked, over and over, and didn’t understand _why_. Gabriel had to fight back the rage even more as he heard the broken, pained thoughts that tumbled in Sam’s head. Silent, half formed fears that this was all he was destined for, an afterlife of one kind of pain or another. Belief that he truly was an abomination, a soul so damned that even Heaven rejected him, twisting his memories to show him times of happiness that were mixed with great pain. A Thanksgiving that had been amazing, like a real family, but had been marred by the absence of the only family member he’d truly wanted to share it wit. Flagstaff, his first time alone, ruined by the knowledge that his leaving had hurt his brother deeply. And leaving for Stanford, the thrill of being on his own and finally doing what he wanted, but tainted always by the heartache he’d lived with every day for having to leave behind the person he’d once believed would be the one to support him and whose betrayal of that had cut deeper than he’d ever let on.

Gabriel’s grace cried out with Sam and he had to fight to keep it contained when all it wanted to do was seek out and destroy those that had put these scars on what was _his_.

_Why_? Sam’s mind was asking, that single word intermingled with everything. _Why? Why can’t I be happy? Why am I always wrong? Why do I always hurt people? Why can’t I do anything right? Why am I not worthy of being saved? Why? Why, why, why, whywhywhywhywhy…_

A pained sound tore from Gabriel and he couldn’t help himself. He pulled Sam in even closer and wrapped not just one pair, but all three sets of wings over his human, making him the single most protected mortal on the planet in that moment, and he sent all the love in him surging to him on a wave of grace. “Sam. _Sam_.” He huffed out a breath and leaned in until he could lay his cheek on the top of Sam’s head. “You’re always so ready to believe the worst about yourself and the best about everyone else. This wasn’t you, handsome. This is on the dicks upstairs, mucking around with your Heaven to try and drive a wedge between you guys. This is on Dean spitting on your memories just because he doesn’t approve of them. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

The tears only came faster, released for the first time in what Gabriel knew was far, far too long.

Through it all, he held him, held his human close to his chest and wished he could take this pain from him. He whispered almost nonstop to him, a soothing litany of compliments and reassurances, pushing his anger back further and further. He told Sam how wonderful he was, how absolutely beautiful and amazing. How he was the reason that Gabriel was here now, in this fight. How he’d reminded Gabriel that there was something worth fighting for in this world. “You’re not a monster, Samshine. You’re not an abomination. You’re mine, always mine, and I’m never letting go, you hear me? _Mine_.”

He could feel how much that single word soothed Sam’s soul. One word filled with certainty and promise. It meant more to Sam than any compliments or anything else. Gabriel held him close and repeated it over and over— _Mine, mine, my Sam, mine, always mine_ —until the tears tapered off and the sobs were down to soft little shudders. He whispered it against his hair as he felt Sam’s body give in to exhaustion and sink down into the shelter of unconsciousness.

For the next hour he stayed there, holding him close, making sure that Sam was truly out. Only when he was positive did he finally lift a hand and brush his fingers lightly over Sam’s forehead. Just a small tendril of grace, enough to guarantee that Sam wouldn’t wake while he was gone. And with that touch to Sam’s head, he’d guaranteed that Lucifer would stay out and that Sam would sleep dreamlessly. At the moment, he didn’t even care if Lucifer tried to get in and was able to read the ward on Sam’s mind. Let him know. Let him. Gabriel was too furious to care about hiding.

His anger was finally starting to peek through as he extracted himself from the bed. Sam would be safe here in Gabriel’s home. The place was warded stronger than anything and Gabriel had made sure his mind was as safe as could be. Not that Gabriel planned on leaving him alone long.

There was just one person he had to see first.

His wings spread wide as he flew from his safe house back to Bobby’s house. In the hours that he’d been gone—time passed differently in his little house, tucked away as it was in a pocket dimension of his own making, so less time had passed in the real world than had passed there—not much had changed. Bobby and Ellen, whose name he’d heard in Sam’s mind, were still in the kitchen, only now Dean was in there with them and Castiel was gone. Later, Gabriel needed to speak with his little brother, help him with the hurt he knew he was feeling. Right now he was too furious for that. He’d used all his kindness on his lover; there was none left right now. All that was left was anger. It fueled his movements as he stalked towards the now silent table.

He saw the small movement from Bobby, like he was reaching for something, and Dean seemed to be doing the same, and it took a single thought to pin the occupants of the room in place. No one was going anywhere. Sharp eyes locked right on Dean’s face and any other time he might’ve admired the spine the hunter had. He didn’t flinch from Gabriel’s gaze, meeting it head on with his chin lifted. Right then? It only made Gabriel’s palms itch to deal out some trickster justice to this _asshole._ “You and me are gonna have words, Winchester.” He didn’t give Dean a chance to answer before he barreled on. “I don’t care who the hell you think you are or what you thought you were doing, but if you ever hurt Sam like that again, smiting will be the least of your worries.”

In a show of either bravery or stupidity, Dean growled right back at him. “I’m getting awfully tired of you threatening me over my brother, _Gabriel._ ”

“Then stop acting like such a bastard.” Gabriel snarled. He pressed his hands on the table and leaned forward, right into Dean’s face which made the older Winchester lean back. “I’m trying, I’m really trying, to remember that you’ve been manipulated just as much as your brother, and that you’ve been pretty badly screwed up and hurt, too. But you make it damn hard.” He drew in a breath and blew it back out furiously. “I’ve been with Sam almost nonstop since the minute _you_ bailed on him and I’ve listened to him defend you, praise you, talk about how right you are with all that _crap_ you’ve been shoveling his way. I even helped you fix things with him because it was what _he_ wanted and what he felt he needed, even if I doubted you could do it. I bit my tongue time and time again so that he could have his brother in his life and I overlooked a whole crap load of bullshit. But you crossed a line last night. You had the audacity to be furious with him because _you_ didn’t approve of his Heaven.”

“His whole Heaven was about running away from me!”

“Boo freaking hoo! Who the hell says that what makes him happy has to be approved by you first? Who says you have the right to judge him just because you didn’t like what you thought you saw? You two share a Heaven, you moron. It doesn’t matter if you’re in his memories. You’re so damn important to Sam, his Heaven wouldn’t _be_ Heaven without you there! Maybe the memories were bad from your side, but they were at least somewhat important to him. Important enough to want to share them with his brother.”

He shoved away from the table, too furious to stay there, and Dean just sat in his chair, obviously stunned. He hadn’t thought about it like that.

Hearing that, Dean’s thought an echo of Sam’s own defensive words to his brother— _“I didn’t think of it like that, Dean”—_ had Gabriel looking back over at him with his lip curled up in a sneer. “Yeah, didn’t think about that, did you? Well, let me give you something else to chew on—those weren’t Sam’s happiest memories. They were great, sure, but nothing real special. Nothing memorable. All of them were memories that were geared to hurt him. My dickbag brothers screwed with his Heaven to try and drive a wedge between the two of you. Kudos for playing right into their hands. Not only did you destroy Heaven for him, you came back and immediately set out to destroy reality too, tossing away that necklace. Way to go. Every good thing I’ve been trying to tell that kid about himself lately, every time I let him know just how freaking amazing he is, you managed to destroy it all with one dick move. Impressive. Michael would be so proud you’re living up to his standards.”

With one hand he pointed a finger at Dean and it took all of his control to keep from throwing out a blast of power with it. “I warned you, Deano. I warned you what would happen if you hurt him again. We still need you for our plans, otherwise I wouldn’t bother coming back at all, but until Sam’s ready to see you again, I’m not bringing him back here. You’ve hurt that kid enough for one lifetime.”

A sharp whistle called Dog over to him from where the animal had been sleeping on the couch. He bent down and caught him as the terrier leapt up. Gabriel easily caught the train of his thoughts and knew exactly what he wanted. With one last look at the humans, he told them “I’ll be back in the morning to discuss our plans.” And then he and Dog were gone, his powers releasing the hunters as he flew back to Sam.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I make Dean off to be so bad sometimes. I'm sorry! I really didn't like him in season 5 lol. But I promise, things do get better! Next chapter we'll get to finally see some Destiel and we'll get the boys back on the right track with one another. We all know Sammy wouldn't let Gabe keep him away from Dean, at least not for long, right? :D
> 
> I hope you guys liked this, and thank you for all your comments and the new kudos last chapter!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our boys and their angels 
> 
> Warning: smut ahead, for those that don't want to read it. Sorry!

Sam woke up to the feeling of being cocooned in something soft and warm. It was something he’d felt before, just a few times, but enough for his mind to start to associate it with a sensation of _caring_ and _safety._ Though he never saw anything when he opened his eyes, he had a pretty good guess as to what he was feeling. He felt the softness brush over his back and he sighed, burrowing in a little closer against the chest that was underneath his cheek. For once, their positions were reversed. Gabriel was lying stretched out on the bed, though he was lying on his back, and Sam was draped mostly over his chest with one of his long legs snug up between Gabriel’s. At the moment it was the only place that Sam wanted to be. He didn’t remember where Gabriel had taken him last night but he knew it was somewhere away from everyone else, and he knew that it was safe.

Some of last night’s grief tried to worm its way in and Sam resolutely ignored it. He didn’t have the time for that anymore. Last night, he’d been too weak and broken down to hold up the usual defenses. He’d let out some of the grief and pain that had been there for what felt like forever. It left part of him feeling just a little lighter than it once had. Yet, at the same time, there was a heaviness around his heart, one that grew as he thought about yesterday’s events and he remembered just what had happened. Remembered the look on his brother’s face, the anger and the pain. Remembered the grief on Castiel’s face as he’d cursed up at the ceiling against a Father he’d had such faith in until now. Remembered the pain of a Heaven that had been set against him right from the start. Sam had no tears left to cry, they’d all been burned out last night, but the pain was still there. He could still feel that. It felt like his very soul ached from the knowledge that his whole Heaven had been geared to hurt. What did that say about him?

“It doesn’t say anything about you. It _does_ say _plenty_ about my brothers, though.”

Gabriel’s voice was light, but there was an edge to it that told Sam just how serious he was. The hunter didn’t try to look up at him. He kept his eyes closed and his face pressed against Gabriel’s bare chest. “I think it says plenty about me if _that_ was my Heaven.”

Something soft brushed over his arm. “They messed with it, Samshine. That wasn’t what your Heaven was supposed to be. They messed with it to try and find a way to drive you and your brother apart. Your Heaven should’ve been so much more.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

“I knew from the start that it was being messed with. The minute Dean joined me, I knew they were trying to split us apart.” Sam admitted. He squeezed his eyes shut a little tighter and tried not to let the pain and bitterness leak into his words. “It doesn’t matter that they changed things. Even if I did end up in Heaven again, which I doubt, who’s to say they wouldn’t do the same all over again?” Angels weren’t exactly fond of him. Sam had long suspected that his Heaven would be just as much torture as a trip downstairs.

The sound that drew from Gabriel was something between pained and angry. Sam could feel it as the archangel’s body tensed, could almost feel it as he started to say something and then stopped himself. The room fell quiet for a moment. Sam was just starting to relax back into this insanely comfortable bed when Gabriel finally spoke up again. His tone was light, almost joking, and yet there was a current of something running underneath it that Sam couldn’t quite place. “Knowing what douchebags my brothers are, do you really want to go up there?”

“Better than downstairs.” Sam said lowly.

“What if you didn’t have to go to either?”

That question had Sam going very, very still. Not go to either? What did that mean? The only thing that Sam could think of was something that he didn’t think Gabriel was capable of giving, nor was it something that Sam would really want. He couldn’t mean…

“No,” Gabriel said, snorting. “Not immortality.”

…oh, good. But, then what? “What do you mean?”

The hand on his head shifted a little and Gabriel’s fingers started to card through his hair. Sam didn’t bother hiding the happy little noise that he made as he arched up into the touch. What was the point in hiding it? There was something rather liberating about being with someone who could pick those things out of your head. He didn’t have to try and hide anything when he didn’t want to because in the end it didn’t really matter, he wouldn’t fool Gabriel.

Gabriel gaze a low hum, one of those sounds that Sam had come to recognize as one of his happy sounds. It was the only movement in the chest underneath Sam’s cheek; yet another reminder that this was no mortal man lying underneath him. Once, that thought might’ve bothered him. Now, it didn’t even really register in his conscious mind. It was all just part and parcel of Gabriel and his mind had gradually logged away all the things that made up Gabriel and deemed them _safe_ and _familiar_ and, in some strange way that he dare not admit to out loud, _home_.

This time the sound that Gabriel made was a cross between surprise and pleasure. But he followed it up with words. “For someone learning control of psychic powers, you’d think you could learn to think a little quieter and not distract me so much.”

Snorting, Sam tilted his head and pressed his nose against Gabriel’s chest. “You like it.”

“That’s beside the point.”

“Mm hm. You still haven’t answered my question, you know. What did you mean?”

There was another moment of quiet. This time, though, Sam could feel the shifting in the body under him, the little things that told him that Gabriel was actually taking the time to try and find the words that he wanted to use. After a long pause, he finally gave voice to his answer with words that were said softly and evenly, with just a hint of what might’ve been fear, telling Sam even more just how important this was. “I can make sure that your soul comes to _me_ when you die. Not Heaven, not Hell—Me.”

The immensity of that offer was staggering. It filled Sam, sent his mind spinning. His first clear thought was _Holy shit_ , followed almost immediately by _Yes_. But he knew better than to just accept something blindly. This sounded huge and it wasn’t something he was going to go into without having a few answers. To get those answers, he wanted to be able to look at Gabriel. This wasn’t a conversation to have when he couldn’t meet his lover’s eyes. Sam shifted his weight, meaning to draw himself up, only the arm Gabriel had around him refused to move enough to let him up and so Sam had to settle for stretching himself out over top of the archangel’s body. He still wasn’t quite used to the fact that his weight would never be too much for the trickster to handle. But he laid himself down, folding his hands to rest them on Gabriel’s chest and then he laid his chin down on his hands. In return, Gabriel put one arm behind his head, propping himself up just a bit. It let their eyes meet. Sure that he had his attention, and comfortable once more, Sam voiced his first question. “Okay, what does that mean?”

Gabriel gave him a smile that left Sam feeling that the trickster was glad he’d asked that question. Lifting his free hand, he smoothed Sam’s hair back from his face. “It would mean that you’d be really and truly _mine_. That means,” he lifted one finger, tapping the tip of Sam’s nose. “No matter what happened, we’d be tied together, soul and grace. Even if your soul was born again into a new body, you’d still be mine. And I’d find you, Sam.” He gave that warning with every sign of seriousness and absolutely no apology. “I might try to let you have a human life, but I wouldn’t be able to. I know myself. I’d find you and I’d keep you, and your soul would always remember me. That means your mind might remember, too. Like I said, we’d be tied. You’d be mine—forever.”

The shiver that went down Sam’s spine wasn’t one of fear. Licking his lips, he watched Gabriel’s eyes carefully, trying to read everything he could in them. “And if you die?”

“Theoretically, I’d come to you. To the bit of me that would be woven in your soul.”

“There’d be a bit of you in me?”

A corner of Gabriel’s mouth quirked. “There’s already been plenty of me in you.” He wiggled his eyebrows, smirking at the low laugh Sam gave.

This sounded huge. Absolutely huge. Gabriel wasn’t just talking about laying a small claim on Sam like he had so far. This wasn’t just some simple pagan claim to watch out for a mortal and protect them. This was much bigger than that. Sam could tell that already. It sounded…huge. Tying soul and grace together? Sam couldn’t think of anything more intimate than that.

“There isn’t.”

Sam tilted his head to the side, cheek resting against his hands, and carefully watched his lover. There were so many questions that were running through his head and he had no idea how to put them all into words. In the end, only one question came out, and it felt like the most important one of all. “Why?”

Those expressive eyebrows arched almost up to Gabriel’s hairline. The look that settled over the trickster’s face was very clearly asking him ‘Are you serious?’ “You’re not stupid, Samshine. I know you know the answer to that.”

Something warm was starting to grow inside of Sam. Something that chased away the almost constant chill that he felt. He felt like he was standing on the edge of a very important moment here. His lips curved up slowly as that feeling blossomed in his chest. “Maybe I just want to make you say it.”

“Ugh.” Gabriel rolled his eyes, but the growing twinkle there belied any grumbling he did. “You know, I never used to be this touchy-feely till you and your stupid puppyness came along.”

Sam’s smile grew a little more. “Uh huh. _Sure_.”

That light in Gabriel’s eyes flashed and it was the only warning Sam got before suddenly they were rolling. The hunter found himself flat on his back before he could even blink and Gabriel was straddling his waist. One of his hands pressed flat against Sam’s chest, making damn sure there was no way he was going to get up. There was a familiar spark in his eyes that was more trickster than archangel and was all Gabriel, his Gabriel. Bending low, he made a sound that was almost a snarl, sending a shiver down Sam’s spine. “You want me to say it, do you? You want to hear me come right out and say that I love your giant, stupid, self-sacrificing, idiotic self?”

Sam’s smile grew blindingly bright. “Yep.”

He bent down low, his hand staying against Sam’s chest, and paused when their lips were just a breath apart. His gaze was bright, brighter than Sam had ever seen it, and it held the hunter pinned in place as surely as his hand did. When he spoke, his voice was rough, a growl that echoed through Sam’s body, vibrating straight down to the core of him. “I love you, Samuel Winchester, and I want to bond you as mine.”

That warmth inside of Sam burst to life. It pushed back the dark and the pain and everything until there was only Gabriel left. Just Gabriel and the love that Sam had always known, always felt every single time Gabriel claimed him as ‘Mine’. They were both broken, damaged in ways that might not ever heal. They were both made up of good and bad. Both had run from their families, albeit for different reasons, and both had done horrible things. Horrible, dark, bloody things. And there was no one Sam had ever wanted more. Good and bad, dark and light, he wanted it all, every inch of this being over him. With every inch of him, he let his soul cry out what they both already knew, sending out every bit of his love. _I love you too, Gabriel._ Staring into those golden eyes, Sam said the one word he’d swore he’d never say to an angel, and it felt so very _right_ to say it to this one. “Yes, Gabriel. Yes.”

Pleasure, dark and hot, lit Gabriel’s eyes, turned the gold of his eyes hot and liquid. He didn’t move, though. He held very still, maintaining their eye contact. “Are you sure? I’m more than just Gabriel—I’m Loki too. If we do this, we gotta do it right, and that means binding you to both parts of me. Archangel and pagan.” The hand that wasn’t on Sam’s chest lifted up and Gabriel straightened just enough that Sam could turn and see what he was holding there. His breath caught in his chest when he caught sight of the ceremonial knife. “You don’t need to drink it.” Gabriel said, cutting off what he’d probably seen building in Sam’s mind. Gabriel brought it down, tracing the tip of it over Sam’s chest, around the hand that Gabriel still held there, but he kept his eyes on Sam’s, watching his face, drinking in his expression. “Are you willing to wear my mark, Sam? Are you willing to tie yourself to me in every way possible? Archangel and pagan, grace and blood?”

“Yes.” There was no hesitation, no doubt.

Gabriel’s grin grew wider and the air around them seemed to suddenly crackle with the gathering of power. “Let’s take this somewhere a bit more appropriate.”

There was no snap this time, nothing to warn him before the world changed around him, their clothes fading away, the softness of the bed under him melting away to something cooler and much more solid. _Stone_ , his brain supplied _._ He finally looked away from Gabriel’s eyes and found that they were no longer in the bedroom, but were in what looked to be a clearing in some forest. Where, he didn’t know. It wasn’t until he felt his wrists being drawn above his head to be pinned against the cold stone by just some grace that he finally realized at least part of where he was. Not the forest, that part didn’t matter. What mattered was that he was on an altar. _Loki’s_ altar. The place where a god would take their sacrifices. Heat flared hot and bright in Sam’s stomach and spread out through his veins. He looked up at the being who still sat straddling his waist and he moaned softly at the wild look there. His eyes were hot and dark with the deviousness and threat that Loki was capable of, and great shadows stretched to either side of him, adding the power of the archangel.

The grin that curved Gabriel’s lips was threat and promise both. He trailed the knife down the center of Sam’s chest, just shy of breaking skin, and Sam shuddered. “One last time, Sam.” Gabriel murmured. “Are you sure?”

There was no other answer that Sam could give. “Please.” He wanted this more than he’d ever wanted anything. “Make me yours, Gabe.”

“I’m going to take everything you give me, Sam.” Bending low, Gabriel smirked at him, sharp and dangerous and oh-so-gorgeous. “You’re mine, now, and no one’s ever going to have you again.” With that vow, he slammed their lips together in a violent kiss that stole every bit of breath from Sam’s lungs and left him aching and gasping by the time he was released.

The air around them was crackling with energy when Gabriel once more sat back. Without the barrier of clothes, it was another torture all on its own to feel that tight, smooth backside pressing up against him just right, and the smirk that Gabriel wore said he knew just that. He ground himself back a little, enjoying the ragged groan it tore from Sam. But when the hunter tried to move, to roll his hips up to seek out more, he found that it wasn’t just his hands that were bound. His hips were held down as well. With just his grace, Gabriel kept him pinned, and Sam couldn’t stop himself from pressing up against it all and groaning loudly.

“Always so beautiful, so responsive.” Gabriel said. He moved his hand from Sam’s chest and slid it over to Sam’s side, tweaking a nipple along the way just to draw out another of those sounds that he loved to hear. He always liked it when Sam got loud. “Don’t hold back, handsome. There’s no one here to hear you except me.”

Sam couldn’t have held back if he tried. There was something in the air here, not just new power but old power as well, _ancient_ power. It was in the stone underneath him, in the ground, the forest, the _air_. It was thrumming from Gabriel and washing over Sam until he felt like he was drifting on it, his only anchor the firm body that sat on him. The only thing that kept him from drifting away was Gabriel. When Sam once more felt the tip of the knife pressing down against the skin of his chest, there was no stopping the moan that built in his throat. He blinked open heavy eyes he hadn’t even realized that he’d closed and he watched as Gabriel trailed the knife down, coming to a stop just above his bellybutton. The power in the air felt like it paused, like the whole world held its breath for them in that single instant as Gabriel’s eyes met Sam’s, the gold glowing darkly, and then the first mark was cut into his skin.

Pleasure and pain followed the line of the knife. Sam threw his head back on a shuddering gasp and tried not to fight against the bonds that held him. He didn’t want to fight to get away, though. No. He wanted to press up, to chase that sensation as the knife twisted and curved across his skin in jagged lines of pain that fired across his nerves and made his throbbing cock grow even harder. He felt the magic drawing in around him, building in the air, collecting around them like it was just waiting.

A long, sharp cut tore free another moan. Then suddenly the knife was gone and Gabriel was moving. Sam blinked his eyes a few times to clear them and looked down to try and figure out what was going on. His body felt heavy, pressed down by something he couldn’t see, and his mouth didn’t seem to want to work. But he’d never needed the words with Gabriel. His angel had always been able to see them in his mind. Now was no different. But he didn’t answer Sam in words. In fact, he hadn’t said a word since he’d started, and Sam had a feeling that was part of the ritual itself because nothing could keep Gabriel quiet when they were in the bedroom. He had a filthy, filthy mouth on him, bless him for it.

Gabriel gave Sam a reassuring wink, a small gesture that worked to soothe down some of Sam’s nerves. Something unseen wrapped around Sam’s thighs and drew his legs apart just a bit, making room for Gabriel to slide back and settle between them and Sam relaxed even more while simultaneously tensing up at having his lover settle into the one place he wanted him to be. Gabriel wasn’t there for that, though. Not yet. He paid no attention to the Sam’s blatant arousal, or indeed even to his own. Instead, he braced his hands on Sam’s sides and smirked up the length of his body at him. Then, very deliberately, he bit his tongue, letting Sam see the blood welling up between his lips. It made him look dangerous; feral. Like the pagan god that Sam knew him to be. At the same time, the shadows of his wings drew up behind him, and were the images a little clearer? Sam swore he could see them better, all six of them, lifting up high and proud from his back as Gabriel bowed his head down low and licked right across the first cut.

A high cry echoed through the air as magic and grace flowed in from each press of Gabriel’s tongue. It poured into him, no longer flowing in the air but filling him up now, sliding into him with each press of Gabriel’s tongue, each time blood mixed with blood. Each place he licked at slowly sealed together, binding their blood, locking the power and grace down inside of Sam’s skin. The hunter felt it inside of him and it was nothing like the power the demon blood had given him. There was no fear here, no anger, no corruption of his soul. There was darkness, yes, but light as well. Possessiveness and love. Power, so much power, and protection. This was Gabriel, Loki, all rolled into one, filling him, chasing away the influence of others inside of him and replacing it with Gabriel’s, healing injuries to a soul that had been damaged so many times. Grace wound round Sam’s soul like it was something precious and it held there even as Gabriel gave one last swipe of his tongue. It cradled him so that Sam felt like he was floating on it, disconnected from the world.

He barely felt as Gabriel pushed his legs higher. Only vaguely registered the fingers slipping inside of him, prepping him, and then suddenly Gabriel was right there. He was pushing in and sliding deep into Sam and it was perfect, it was everything he needed. The grace wrapped closer around Sam’s soul and the power that had been poured into him was thrumming underneath his skin and was twining together with Sam’s own meager powers in an act just as intimate as the movement of their bodies.

Hands gripped at his hips as Gabriel began to thrust, pushing into him, _claiming_ him. Sam couldn’t control the sounds that he made. They were open and wanton as they filled the air and each one seemed to make that light in Gabriel’s eyes glow brighter. He could do nothing, couldn’t even thrust up to meet him. All he could do was lay there like the sacrifice he was as Gabriel _took_. He felt his orgasm building embarrassingly fast and knew it wouldn’t take much for him to fall over that edge. The magic in him was pushing him along, sparking flames of sharp pleasure through every inch of his body.

And then Gabriel bent down low and Sam heard the snarl of “ _Mine_ ” that vibrated through him before sharp teeth sank into the juncture of neck and shoulder and that was it, he was lost. He didn’t so much fall off that edge as he was shoved off it. His spine bowed up as best as it could and he threw his head back, crying out as the whole world went white as pleasure exploded out of him and magic and grace exploded inside of him.

When he came to again, he was still lying on the altar, but he was no longer being restrained. His arms were lowered below his head again and they hung loosely near his sides. Gabriel was draped over top of him, face still buried in his neck, and it felt like he was licking absently at his bite mark there. The power that had been pushing in the air and inside his body before were gone. He thought he could still feel a faint hint of it inside of him, like this little humming vibration just barely there inside of him.

“That’ll fade.” Gabriel mumbled against his skin. He sounded drained, yet pleased. “That’s just a bit of leftover me.”

Sam somehow found the strength to lift his one hand and bring it up, threading it through Gabriel’s hair. It took a few tries for him to get his throat to work right to force his voice out. When he did, it was hoarse and slightly thick. “It worked?”

“Oh yeah.” A hand settled onto his stomach, right over his bellybutton, and Sam could feel the raised lines of the scar there now. It was too much effort to lift his head, so he just lay there, feeling it as Gabriel traced his finger over the lines there.

“What is it?”

“My symbol. Gabriel’s symbol.” He shifted against Sam’s neck and rubbed his nose against the long line of skin. “Bit of pagan, bit of archangel. I just sort of, mixed the two rituals. Worked even better than I thought it would.” His hand flattened against the symbol and Sam felt a spark of grace pulse through it, warming him inside. “ _Mine._ ”

Sam hummed happily and let his eyes slide closed once more. “Yours.” And that was just the way he wanted it to be.

* * *

The afternoon sun was shining on Singer’s Salvage in what would be a beautiful day to just about anyone. Anyone except Dean. He sat on the hood of an old broken down Ford and glared at the brightly lit yard as if it had personally offended him. He didn’t _want_ sunshine and flowers and stupid chirping birds. His mood was more suited to dark clouds and rain and storms. That would’ve been perfect. Maybe then he could’ve sulked out here in peace. What right did the world have to look so cheerful when everything in Dean’s life felt like it was going to shit?

It seemed like every time they got something good lately, it always came with one hell of a cost, or was followed by something worse. One step forward, two giant leaps back, that’s what it felt like. And so far, it’d been easy to lay the blame for it all at Sam’s door, even if it wasn’t always _just_ Sam’s fault. It was just easier to be angry at him instead of being angry at himself, which was screwed up. Since when had it become okay to just get pissed at Sam for everything? When had he gone from protecting Sammy to blaming him for everything? _About the time he broke the damn world_ , part of Dean’s mind reminded him. It was quickly countered by another voice, a voice that he’d tried so hard lately to drown in alcohol. _Sam wasn’t the only one to break a seal. He wasn’t the one to break the_ first _seal. Who’s really to blame for starting this?_

Those poisonous thoughts were circling round and round in Dean’s head. They had been ever since Gabriel’s little visit last night. There was something about coming close to death-by-pissed-archangel that really forced a guy to stop and take a look at things. Really, it was hard not to when it was all shoved right up in your face. Gabriel had forced Dean to take a deeper look at himself and his actions and the older hunter hadn’t come away from it liking what he saw. The self-hatred that always seemed to sit in his gut only grew stronger.

There was no real sound to alert Dean to Castiel’s arrival, but he gradually became aware that he was no longer alone out here. Without turning, Dean took another drink off his beer and glared harder at the landscape in front of him, not really seeing it. “I’m not in the mood for more talking right now, Cas.” He said flatly. There’d been enough of that lately. Gabriel yelling at him, then Bobby and Ellen yelling at him, and then his own voice, his own mind yelling at him for hurting the person he’d always promised to protect.

A soft whisper of material told him that Castiel had come closer. “That’s fine.”

Instead of going _away_ , the angel came closer, actually sitting down beside him. Dean thought about protesting for a moment. He opened his mouth, ready to growl at him to just go away and leave him alone, but he snapped his mouth closed at the last moment. He didn’t really mind Castiel’s presence. He knew how to be quiet when he needed to be.

They sat side by side for a while. Neither one said anything, they just sat there, watching as the sun slowly moved through the sky. It kind of reminded Dean of times spent hanging out with Sammy when they’d been teenagers. Back then, they hadn’t always had to talk with each other, either. Oh, sure, sometimes Sammy could talk for hours. Hours and hours and _hours_. But other times they’d just lay there and hang out with each other and it was easy, it was good. Those were also always the times that Dean had eventually spilled whatever it was that was going on with him. He knew Sam did it on purpose. His brother knew that Dean would eventually try and fill the silence.

Apparently that didn’t just happen with Sam. They’d been sitting there for a while when Dean felt the words starting to bubble up in him. He clenched his hand down on his beer bottle and let out a sigh. Maybe talking it out with Cas would help him figure this all out. Obviously running through it all in his own head wasn’t working. “I don’t know what to do here, Cas. Every time I turn around, I’m screwing things up again.”

“I would think that not being drunk would be a good first step.” Castiel said dryly.

Dean shot a glare at the angel, who didn’t even blink at it. A low sigh slid from the hunter before he looked down at the mostly empty bottle in his hand. Yeah, being sober would probably make the whole attempt at a conversation with Sam go better, but it sure wouldn’t make it any _easier_. Talks like this were never Dean’s strong suit. It was always Sam who came up and forced them to talk things out if Dean didn’t come to him or open up to him. He was the one who pushed until Dean said what he needed to say. Only, this time, that wasn’t going to happen. This time _Dean_ had pushed too far, too hard, and he didn’t know how to come back from it. The last time anyone had pushed Sam even half as far as Dean had, it’d been their father, and Sam had completely cut the man out of his life. He didn’t have any doubt that his brother would do the same to him if he felt like he had to. Sam had already proved he could live without Dean in his life. Besides, he had _Gabriel_ to take care of him now.

That thought had Dean’s lip curling up and his stomach twisting in knots. He lifted his bottle and drank down what was left like it was a shot. Anything, to wash away the foul taste in his mouth. What the hell had happened to them that he was being replaced in his brother’s life by that dick? Annoyed with it all, he let out a sigh that sounded more like a growl. “Your brother’s a dick.”

“He cares for Sam very much.”

“And I don’t?” Dean demanded.

Castiel gave him a flat look. “I did not say that.”

Snorting, Dean turned back to look out at the salvage yard again, glaring at the Chevy just ahead. “yeah, well, _he_ sure seems to act like it.”

“Gabriel has always been protective. That trait seems to become even stronger in his time on earth. He considers your brother his and as such, he is very protective of him.” There was just a faint pause and then Castiel added “Your time in Heaven hurt your brother quite deeply.”

The gentle censure in those words did more than a shout. The hunter flinched under it. But instead of getting upset, he lashed out. Anger was much easier to handle. “I didn’t know it was all fake!” Dean said roughly, pushing one hand through his hair. “How was I supposed to know? I mean, it’s not like he’s ever had a problem leaving me behind before. He’s always been happier away from me and Dad.”

“Your brother cares for you deeply.”

“Just not enough to stay.” The words slipped out before Dean could stop them. He didn’t know if it was the night, or the beer, or if it was just some freaky angel thing about Cas. He had no idea. But the words tumbled out whether he wanted them to or not, all the little fears that he’d kept hidden inside, not daring to say them to anyone. “He’s gonna leave, Cas. It’s what he does. It’s what everyone does. They always leave, and I’m always the one stuck behind on my own.”

The afternoon air went quiet for one long beat and Dean stared down at his empty bottle wishing that he’d just kept his mouth shut. Now that the words were said, they hung heavy in the air, pressing down on him and smothering him. It reminded him of the oppressive silence that he’d always tried to drown out with music in the impala after Sam had gone to school and Dad had been out on a solo hunt.

Then suddenly the quiet was broken by a low furious sound that had Dean whipping his head towards Castiel. What he found froze him in place. The angel was even closer and the blue of his eyes was brighter than ever before, more intense, and they were locked right on Dean’s. They held him there as surely as his angel mojo could. And what was in them…the emotion there left Dean breathless. There were so many things in Castiel’s eyes, things that they’d both felt and neither had dared say yet, and they were all right out there in the open. Dean cleared his throat, forcing his voice to work, but all he could get out was a low, questioning “Cas?”

The angel didn’t even blink. If anything, his stare grew more intense. “Dean Winchester, you are the single most dense human I have ever met. When are you going to realize that you are never alone? That you will never again be alone?” Castiel almost growled the words at him. “I believed you understood, but my brother told me that you would need the words even if you do not like to admit to them. So, let me give them to you.” He leaned in impossibly closer and his eyes took up all of Dean’s vision now. They held him spellbound, frozen, waiting on the edge for whatever came next. “I rebelled against Heaven, for you. I started to _Fall_ , for you, and would have done so gladly if Gabriel had not helped to replenish my dwindling grace. I have killed my brothers, for you. I chose you, time and time again, against brothers and sisters I have known and loved since long before you came into existence, and I will continue to choose you. You are mine, as I am yours.”

It felt like Dean’s voice had dried up in his throat. He couldn’t find the words he wanted to say. Finding the words for anything had never been something that he was good at. He couldn’t say things the way that Sam could. He couldn’t put voice to the emotion that was in him that he usually tried so hard to deny. Talking just wasn’t his way. Dean was a man of action.

Looking at the angel who had rescued him from hell, the one who had stood beside him, who was always there when he needed him, and who had somehow made him care in ways he’d always sworn he would never care about anyone, there was only one thing that Dean could think of to do. Reaching over, he caught hold of Castiel’s face with one hand and he pulled him in for the kiss he’d been wanting to give him for a long time now.

Later, he would admit to himself just how much it felt like coming home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that took so long to get to you guys! I hope it didn't disappoint :/


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, folks! I've been busy and then I did some random damage (I don't even know what or how!) to my hand that makes it hard to type with a throbbing finger. But, here's what I have, and I really hope it's okay. We're getting closer to the end, here!

It was edging close to noon when Sam and Gabriel finally showed up at Bobby’s house once more. Gabriel hadn’t been all that happy about bringing Sam with him but to the young hunter, there was no other choice. Even if he and Dean were fighting, even if things sucked between them right now, it didn’t matter. This was bigger than them. Besides, it was hard for Sam to hold on to his anger with this bond singing inside of him. It didn’t give him a direct line to Gabriel’s thoughts or anything like that. He couldn’t read the archangel’s mind, though he did get a general feel for his emotions. Mostly, it was just a presence inside of Sam. A feeling that was purely Gabriel in ways that he didn’t have the words to describe.

“It _is_ me.” Gabriel told him, watching as Sam dressed himself in preparation for their return. The two had already shared a shower and Sam was just dressing himself to go. “That’s the bit of my grace, tied to your soul. So really, you are feeling me. The real me.” His usual smirk softened around the edges as he watched the flush that built in Sam’s cheeks. “I’m already seeing ways this might be fun. Why don’t you come on back to bed and explore them with me, Samshine?”

That made Sam roll his eyes, though he still smiled. He knew how little Gabriel wanted to go back with the others. Or, more accurately, how little he wanted to take _Sam_ back. They’d already been over this. Without looking back at his lover, he said “We _have_ to go back, Gabe.”

“Why?”

Sam pulled on his over shirt and finally turned to face Gabriel, ready to go. He smiled and shrugged his shoulders at him. “He’s my brother.” No matter what, no matter how angry Dean was at him right now, none of that changed the fact that he was Sam’s big brother and he was hurting. What had happened had hurt him just as much as it had hurt Sam.

“I keep telling you, you’re too nice for your own good.” Gabriel said dryly. “Did it ever occur to you to you that maybe other people are just assholes?”

“Sure. But that’s family, isn’t it? They may be assholes but you love them anyways.”

And that was how the two ended up heading back to Bobby’s. Gabriel flew them straight into Bobby’s kitchen where they found Ellen standing at the counter making a pot of coffee. Dog let out a bark at the sight of her and she spun, only barely startling when she saw them there. When her eyes landed on Sam, they lit up and warmed, and she quickly set down the coffee pot in her hands. “Sam.” She hurried forward and Sam met her halfway, letting her pull him down into a tight hug. She drew back and cupped his face between her hands, smiling up at him. “You’re looking so much better this morning. How you feeling, honey?”

“I’m great, Ellen. How about you? And where’s Jo?” He looked around like he might see her come walking out of somewhere.

Ellen smiled and patted his cheeks before letting go. “I’m doing fine, and so is Jo. She’s outside somewhere with Bobby right now. I’m sure they’ll be in for coffee soon enough. Why don’t you sit on down and I’ll get you a cup?” She pushed at his shoulder until he was heading over to the kitchen table. That left her free to fix her suddenly sharp gaze on Gabriel. The trickster stood there as she looked him over from head to toe in a way that was very clearly assessing. When her eyes finally settled on his, he was amused and a little impressed that she didn’t hesitate to glare right at him, not flinching in the slightest bit despite the fact that he could see she knew exactly who he was. She crossed her arms over her chest and lifted her eyebrows. “So, I hear you’re Gabriel, the archangel.”

“That’s me.” He said, smirking.

“And Loki, the Trickster.”

Gabriel hooked his thumbs into his front pockets and rocked back on his heels. “Yep.”

The room went quiet as Ellen just glared at him. Off to the side, Sam watched them nervously, ready to step in if needed. Ellen was a rather protective friend. He hadn’t realized just _how_ protective. Right now, she looked more dangerous than normal, and Sam was reminded that this woman had been married to a hunter, was a hunter herself, and had run a bar for hunters for years. He wasn’t all that worried about her hurting him; not unless she magically had an archangel blade hidden somewhere on her person. But a part of him had been hoping that at least one person in his life might actually like Gabriel from the start and _not_ hate him. It was getting tiring constantly having to defend them. Doing it to strangers would be one thing, but doing it with family was something else entirely and Sam just wished he didn’t constantly have to. He braced himself a little and waited for whatever was going to happen next, resigned already to what he was sure was coming.

He sighed when she stepped up close to Gabriel and told him “Listen here, boy.” Lifting one finger, she pointed it right at Gabriel’s face. “I don’t care if you’re trickster, archangel, or some average Joe down at a coffee shop—I care about that boy right there, and if you hurt him you damn well better believe I’ll find a way to make you hurt. That’s a promise.”

Despite Sam’s obvious worry, her threat didn’t bother Gabriel. He knew this wasn’t her being prejudiced against something supernatural. This was just her caring about Sam, and that was something that Gabriel could definitely get behind. “Sam’s mine.” He said simply, two words that meant so much more, and he knew she heard it all. After a second’s pause her glare melted away to a smile that had Sam staring with surprise and she nodded at him. “Good. He needs someone willing to let him lead sometimes, and strong enough to reel him in for the other times. From what Bobby tells me, you seem to do a pretty good job of that.”

She turned back around towards the coffee pot, calling over her should “You want a cup of coffee, angel boy?”

Over by the table, Sam stood there with one hand on the back of a chair, staring after her with a stunned look on his face. That was it? That was all she had to say about this? Just that little speech and now she was okay? Sam couldn’t believe it. _No one_ had been that easy about things so far. The fact that Ellen had meant more to him than anything. He tried to think of something to say, even opened his mouth to try, but couldn’t quite find the words. In the end, he simply sat down and watched as Gabriel joined Ellen at the counter and the two began to chatter away as they planned out breakfast.

* * *

Working with Ellen to prepare breakfast was entertaining and it gave Gabriel a chance to get to know her a little better. He could see from Sam that she was obviously someone important to him, and so far she’d been about the only one he’d met who hadn’t showed any sign of giving _Sam_ any grief for being with him. She’d given Gabriel grief, sure, threatening him, but she was doing it because she cared about Sam and wanted to see him safe and happy, and that was definitely something the archangel could get behind. Her protectiveness pushed her towards the top of his list of favorite humans right now. He only liked her more the more that they talked. She was smart, sassy, and took no shit from anyone—not even from him. When he tried to steal some bacon they were cooking and she smacked his hand, he’d grinned so broadly at Sam it’d made the hunter grin back despite his nerves.

A part of Gabriel wanted to take Sam and wrap him up and chase away the fear that was so obviously eating at him. The little idiot had been the one hurt the most by the trip to Heaven—he was still hurting over it, still more raw and broken inside than Gabriel liked, but healing was a slow process—and yet his mind was only showing worry for _Dean’s_ pain. Stupid self-sacrificing codependent Winchesters.

It didn’t take long before others started to wander in to join them for breakfast. Bobby was the first one to come in and he only hesitated for a second when he saw who was there. Gabriel busied himself with prepping a plate of food for Sam, one he was determined he would eat even if the trickster had to feed it to him, but he kept an eye on them. When he saw a small smile flash across Bobby’s face, he relaxed a little, and so did Sam. The younger Winchester gave Bobby a shy smile as the gruff hunter walked past him, stopping briefly to give the back of his neck a squeeze and to tell him “Good to see you here, boy.” and then he was moving over to get himself a cup of coffee from the counter. Ah, bless these emotionally stunted hunters. Gabriel exchanged a look with Ellen and found her smothering a grin. The two shook their heads at the idiots who couldn’t just come right out and _say_ something.

Gabriel was just setting down a plate of fruit and pancakes in front of Sam when Castiel, Anna and Dean all came in from outside. The archangel felt his brother and sister coming and knew this was all about to get interesting. They’d be able to tell exactly what he’d done and he knew neither one of them were going to be too happy. If he’d felt safe or comfortable at all in leaving Sam alone at any point in time last night, he would’ve come and talked to his siblings, warned them. As it was, he wasn’t letting Sam out of his sight unless he absolutely had to, and their bond was still a bit too new for him to be comfortable doing it anyways. So he took up stance now at Sam’s side and prepared to defend him. When the trio entered and Sam’s whole body went tense, his mood dropping, Gabriel put a supportive hand on his shoulder. He gave a soft squeeze when Dean looked at Sam and quickly looked away, making his little brother flinch. That idiot sibling could be dealt with later. Gabriel really wasn’t in the mood for him anyways. Right now he had his own siblings to worry about—and they were standing frozen in the entryway of the kitchen, staring at him with open shock and, in Anna’s case, a bit of horror.

It was easy to tell when Sam noticed them and their reactions. His powers had made him a bit sensitive before. That seemed to have increased now with their bonding. Sam reacted to the negative emotion in the room and what his mind probably saw but didn’t consciously register as a threat by leaning in closer to his mate. Gabriel unfurled wings that only his siblings would see right now and he wrapped one loosely around Sam in obvious warning while his others lifted high in a display of dominance and warning. This was the first time they were around any kind of threat since their bonding and the protectiveness he’d felt before was nothing compared to what he felt now. Sam was _his_ and there was no way in Heaven or Hell he was going to let anyone hurt him.

“Gabriel.” Anna said, her voice low and stunned. Wide eyes moved over Sam and then up over Gabriel’s wings. “What have you done?”

There was a horror in her words that had Sam sinking down in his seat just slightly. In response, Gabriel tightened his grip enough to let Sam know he was still right here and then pressed himself a little closer so that he was right up against Sam now. “We decided on a short engagement.” He quipped, his tone light and easy, a total contrast to the temper inside of him. “These boys die often enough I thought I should make sure stake my claim before it happened again.”

That was enough to silence the whole kitchen. Ellen and Bobby both turned, Ellen still holding the skillet with a cooking pancake in it, and Dean’s gaze snapped away from his brother to settle on Gabriel. The whole room was thick with tension. Gabriel was proud of how Sam straightened up under it, refusing to show weakness despite the fact that the archangel knew he wanted nothing more than to get as far away from here as possible.

It was Bobby who found his voice first. The older hunter looked at him and demanded “You claimed him?”

“In every way possible.” Gabriel said agreeably. He squeezed Sam’s shoulder and smirked down at him, winking before looking back up. He’d planned on saying something else just a little sarcastic, just to screw with the humans a little who seemed to think they had any say in this, but his eyes drifted over his siblings and what he saw there had him going very still. Castiel, young as he was, wasn’t daring to step up and speak his discontent, though his grace and wings clearly showed how unsure he was about all of this. It was Anna who was stupidly daring enough to openly display her anger and disapproval. Gabriel’s wings bristled at the her audacity as she actually glared threateningly at Sam. At _Sam_! Gabriel straightened up a little more, drawing himself up in a way he knew made him appear taller than he actually was, and when he spoke, his voice was lower, with just a hint of a growl at the edges. “Careful, Anael. He’s my mate, claimed on both sides. I suggest you remember your manners and have a little respect.”

The reminder, with just a hint of his True Voice leaking through, was enough to make her take a small step back, and that satisfied Gabriel immensely. Good. Let her remember just who she was talking to.

“What about Lucifer?” Bobby asked, breaking their staring contest and bringing attention back to the conversation. “Aint he gonna flip that you’re putting a claim on someone he thinks is his?”

Apparently Sam hadn’t thought of that. Not that Gabriel could blame him; things had been hectic. His gaze shot up to Gabriel, who sent a reassuring swell of grace down to him even as he answered. “He’s trapped out of Sam’s dreams now, so he won’t know about the claim until we’re all face to face, and by then it’ll be too late. Any angel who sees Sam now will know. There’s a bit of my grace fused in with his soul, and Loki’s claim is lit up bright for anyone to see.” His witness protection was blown completely the next time any angel saw Sam. He should be bothered by that. Instead, he wanted to puff up and smirk with pride at everyone seeing what he’d claimed as His.

“I thought you said you were gonna wait till after the apocalypse.” Dean said, speaking up for the first time. His voice was slightly flat and his eyes seemed to avoid Sam completely. The younger Winchester drew in a breath and leaned a little more towards Gabriel. Guess that answered the question on whether Dean was still pissed or not. Gabriel smothered a growl and went instead for as nonchalant a shrug as he could manage. “Plans change.”

Anything further was cut off by the door opening yet again and someone else coming inside. Until that moment, Gabriel had forgotten about Sam’s mention of the girl Jo. She had good timing now. The young blond pushed her way in past the angels and Dean, grumbling a little at them for blocking the door, and once she was inside she ignored Gabriel completely and flashed a bright grin over at Sam. “Hey! Bout time you showed up.” She greeted him. Then her eyes moved over to her mother and lit up slightly. “Ooh, pancakes!”

Amusement filled Gabriel and he grinned. Even Sam had a small smile on his lips.

The others weren’t as easily put off their conversation, though. Castiel was quiet, but Anna wasn’t ready to let this go. “ _This is foolish, Gabriel._ ” She called out to him in Enochian. “ _Sam is a good human, for a friend. But as a mate? Brother, you are not thinking clearly._ ”

Anger snapped through Gabriel. How _dare_ she? He growled and it was echoed by a low rumble outside. The house actually shook a little around them as Gabriel’s fury washed over him. In that moment, the trickster in him fell away and the archangel stepped forward. “ _You forget your place, Anael. You have no right to question me over my_ mate _. You want to challenge my claim to him? Then make your challenge. Otherwise, hold your tongue_!” His words rang with enough of his True Voice to make the humans in the room flinch ever so slightly, and with an ancient authority he hadn’t tapped in a long time that had both angels bowing their heads and lowering their wings instinctively in submission. It wasn’t something he often liked to do. Unlike his brothers, he had never really been fond of exercising that power, or demanding the respect that most angels held for the firstborn.

Beside him, he felt Sam’s thoughts turn darker with the anger in the room—that was something they’d have to talk about, this newfound _thing_ in Sam that seemed to respond to moods around him—and felt as his human started down that spiral of self-depreciation that Gabriel so loathed. The hunter knew that Anna liked him well enough, at least better than most angels, but she was by no stretch of the imagination his ‘friend’, and she was also willing enough to kill him if it would fix things. Gabriel could easily follow Sam’s thoughts. _‘In the eyes of angels, something like me is never going to be good enough for someone like him’._ It was horribly, heartbreakingly, _infuriatingly_ true, and it made Gabriel want to growl again. He slid his hand from Sam’s shoulder and up into his hair, tugging on it until Sam was looking up at him. “I thought we talked about this, Sammo.”

“Hey!” Jo called out from somewhere off to the side. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Let go of him!”

Neither Gabriel nor Sam bothered looking away from each other. Sam stared up at Gabriel and didn’t flinch underneath his glare. “I’m not going to apologize for thinking something that you know is true.” Sam said firmly, not backing down from the archangel’s temper. “I’m not saying that you or I have to agree with them, Gabe. But just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean they won’t think it, and ignoring it doesn’t make it go away. I won’t pretend that I don’t know they feel that way just because you don’t like me thinking about it.” He gave in to Gabriel on plenty of things, true, but he wasn’t some weak little thing, and he wasn’t going to back down just because Gabriel didn’t like what he was hearing. It was one of the things that had pulled Gabriel in. Sam let him get pushy, let his possessive side have free reign—up to a point. He wasn’t the least bit afraid of calling Gabriel on what he considered bullshit. He trusted Gabriel to stop if he ever really said stop.

“It’s not the thinking about it that bothers me.” Gabriel said bluntly, not giving a damn who heard them right now. Let them listen. “Think about it all you want. But you start agreeing with them and we’re gonna have problems, handsome.”

The sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted the conversation between the two and they both looked up to find the whole room watching them. It was Ellen who’d cleared her throat, and it was she who spoke. “Not that this isn’t fascinating, but let’s table the family debates for later. From the sounds of it, you two are bound and nothing’s changing that. Anyone that has problems with it,” here she cut a sharp look over at the angels, her own version of a warning to them. “can just deal with it. We got bigger fish to fry. I got a call right before you boys showed up. If they’re right, I’m pretty sure we’ve got a lead on Pestilence.”

That was enough to perk Gabriel up. He slipped his hand out of Sam’s hair and let it drop down to the back of the hunter’s chair. Gripping the back, he pulled it out just enough that there was room to drop down into Sam’s lap. He smirked at Sam’s little grunt and the bitchface he wore. The man didn’t fool him. The hand that came up to curl over Gabriel’s hip and hug him close told a truer story. With a snap the table was set up with plenty of plates for everyone and enough chairs as well. “Take a seat, everyone. Sounds like we got a few things to cover this morning. Might as well enjoy breakfast while we do.”

Such an interesting little bunch they all were, this ‘Team Free Will’. Gabriel watched them all as breakfast was served and everyone sat down together at the table like this was some normal occurrence. Differences were put aside just enough to settle in and work together, but not enough to stop the occasional sour look or glare. Humans were such funny little things.

Sam had sat down at the corner of the table, right near the head, and Bobby took up seat there. Next to him was Ellen, followed by Dean, Castiel, Anna, and then Jo, the group of them wrapped around the table. It left the seat on Sam’s other side open, but Sam didn’t even suggest Gabriel sit down there, and there was no way Gabriel was moving. Ideally after a bonding like theirs, he and Sam should’ve been locked away somewhere, letting things settle between them, getting used to the changes, exploring things, and having plenty of mind-melting sex. But, this situation wasn’t ideal, and they had to make the best of it. That meant he was sticking as close to his mate as possible and anyone else could just deal with it. Sam wasn’t uncomfortable with it. In fact, his soul was practically purring with content at having Gabriel’s grace up close. Well, that is, if souls could purr.

Once everyone was settled in with their food, Ellen told them about the call she’d gotten from a ‘friend’. Gabriel had to admit, the more she described what her friend had seen in this place, the more right it sounded. The illnesses, the sudden deaths, they kind of fit. “I’ve been keeping track of strange illnesses, trying to help find the guy.” Ellen told them as she cut into her pancakes. “I’ve had a lot of hunters reporting in, talking about these massive outbreaks of swine flu everywhere. An I mean, everywhere. Outbreaks like I’ve never seen before.”

“I have too.” Bobby said.

“But this is the only place I’ve heard of there being more.”

“And where was it?” Dean asked.

“Serenity Valley Convalescent Home in Davenport, Iowa.” Ellen said.

Hm. That was easy enough to check out. With an actual location like that, the archangel could check it out and see if he really was there. Straight up searching the US for him would’ve been hard work, time consuming, and a pain. Even then, it would’ve been hit and miss, and it would’ve meant Gabriel leaving Sam alone for long periods of time. That was something he wasn’t willing to do after their little Heaven trip. No freaking way. A short jump, though, _that_ was doable. “I’ll pop over after breakfast and take a look around, see if it’s him.”

Gabriel’s casual offer had a few surprised looks coming his way. The look Bobby gave him was sharp and just a bit calculating. “If you can just sense if it’s him, why aint you done that already?”

Pausing with his fork halfway to his mouth, Gabriel looked at the older hunter and raised his eyebrows. “Uh, maybe because I’ve been trying to watch out for you yahoos, find ingredients to build vessels, prep for a very complicated ritual with a friend, meet with other friends to try and find us some allies to help when the big day comes down…” He brought his fork up and took his bite, speaking around his food. “I’m awesome, but even I can’t be everywhere at once. I’m not Dad.”

“What about you two?” Dean asked, turning to the other angels. “Can you two just ‘sense’ him, too?” Very clear was the question of whether or not they could’ve been doing the search instead of Gabriel.

Anna was the one to answer that, her voice just slightly cooler than normal. She still wasn’t all that happy with everything. “We wouldn’t know a Horseman until we were right on top of them, so to speak. Archangels have considerably more power than the rest of us. There’s a lot they’re capable of that the rest of us aren’t.”

“As I said—awesome.” Gabriel said with a grin, pointing at his chest.

Behind him, he could almost _feel_ Sam rolling his eyes at him. In retaliation, Gabriel speared a bit of fruit—he’d definitely noticed that Sam had pretty much ignored his food while everyone else ate, and _that_ definitely wasn’t going to fly—and he waited until Sam started to speak before turning and popping the bite in his mouth. The glare he got only made him grin. “Eat up, Samshine.” Smirking, Gabriel wiggled his hips a little while he turned back to the others, enjoying the flare of embarrassment and arousal both that it drew from his mate. He focused back on the conversation, though. This was important. “We’ve got a few other things to deal with here, too, folks. Pestilence isn’t our only worry right now.”

“Zachariah.” Castiel spoke up for the first time, his voice a low growl as he said the angel’s name.

Temper snapped in Gabriel’s eyes and he fought to keep it under control. No more house shaking. He was lucky that hadn’t been noticed by anyone up above. “Yeah. That little douche is definitely on the list. After yesterday, he’s not gonna be that happy.” Gabriel turned himself enough to be able to see Sam’s face. “He wasn’t lying when he told you two he was petty. He’s not an enemy we want to just leave out there.”

The reminder of that moment flashed through Sam’s mind, along with the ache of it, the heartbreak he’d felt at seeing his mother and seeing the way Zachariah had _touched_ her. Gabriel’s grace churned inside of him at Sam’s pain and at the knowledge that one of his brothers dared so something so vulgar and vile. With his grace Gabriel reached out to soothe Sam’s aching soul.

“He’s going to try something.” Anna said. Her face stayed calm but Gabriel could see her wings shift in an expression of anger and distaste both. “It’s extremely personal now and he doesn’t like losing. I have no idea how he’s going to react once he catches sight of Sam, though. Any angel that sees him is going to be able to see Gabriel’s grace. There won’t be any more hiding his return.”

“So do we keep Sam here?” Jo asked, giving Sam a slightly apologetic look. “I mean, that’s kind of our ace in the hole, right? Our secret archangel here.”

“Let them see.” Gabriel’s voice was steady and firm. He’d thought about this already and he knew what would happen the minute he’d suggested this to Sam. He’d known for a while now what would happen if he decided to do this. And as much as he didn’t like it, as much as he hated what it might mean, he’d come to terms with it. “I’ll handle it, and I’ll handle Zachy. He wasn’t what I meant when I said we had other things to deal with. Before everything went to hell yesterday—or Heaven, so to speak—I talked with Coyote and he let me know we’ve got everything we need on our end. What that means is that we’ve got to make a group decision here on what we think is best for the vessels. Child, teenager, adult, it needs to be decided now, cause he’s ready to start putting them together, and the full moon is just over a week away. We’ve got to be ready by then.”

“You guys wanted to turn them into children?” Ellen asked, surprised.

“Seemed like the best plan.” Dean said. “Take their memories, turn them into kids, let them grow up and see a life as a human.”

Jo looked at him with surprise. “They won’t even remember who they are? That doesn’t make any sense.”

It was Gabriel who fielded that one. They had talked about taking memories before, but he understood Jo’s surprise and he’d found himself agreeing with it lately. “Taking their memories seemed like the safest route. It would keep them from trying to call on other angels to come down and attempt to help them. But…”

“But they need to know who they were if we want them to change at all.” Ellen interjected.

Gabriel gave her an approving nod. “Exactly. I’ve been thinking about this lately. Their biggest problems are with each other and they need to fix that, without taking the world out in the process. To fix it, they have to know who they are and where they come from. They can’t forget.”

“They gotta learn how to be brothers again. Bullshit and all. Otherwise, their problems are just gonna be waiting for them once their human lives are done, and we’ll be right back at square one. They gotta work past their shit.” Bobby said, eyeing the Winchester brothers in a way that made it clear he wasn’t just talking about archangels here. Subtle, that Bobby, Gabriel thought with a snicker.

Still, it had some effect. Sam and Dean shared one quick glance before they both looked away. Message received.

Either missing or ignore the subtext going on, Jo folded her arms on the table and leaned forward a little, looking over to Gabriel. “What about making them teenagers? They’d have plenty of time that way to grow up with each other, to work out what they can. And it’d save you having to find some set of parents to raise them. I can’t imagine there’d be many lining up for _that_ job.”

It was pretty much what Gabriel was thinking. He was glad she’d been the one to suggest it, though. The humans would probably take that suggestion better from her than from him. Not that it’d really stop him from doing what he wanted in the end anyways, _but_ , better to go about this as nice as possible, for Sam’s sake at least. Gabriel didn’t care if the humans were mad at _him_. He wasn’t going to do anything that they might end up taking out on Sam. But this was their best plan. He’d thought about it ever since their last talk and this really did seem like the smartest way to do it. Make the vessels teenagers, he wasn’t quite sure the age yet, that was flexible, and they’d be old enough to talk to each other and fight and work things out while still being young enough to have a full human life ahead of them. They needed time to be able to fix things. Time to be able to heal. And time to heal some of what had been done to Lucifer’s grace. That was another benefit of this, one that he doubted the humans had thought of. While Lucifer would still retain his sense of self, his memories, his core of who he was, some of the serious damage that had been done to him was done to his _grace_ , which Gabriel would be in possession of. That meant that some of the crazy running around in Lucifer wouldn’t be there while he was human. And Gabriel would have a whole human lifetime to gradually heal some of the damage done to his brother’s grace from being locked away and alone for so long. Their grace would be in his possession and he would be able to slowly heal some of the worst parts of it so that once Lucifer got it back, he wouldn’t immediately go insane all over again.

Their plan was coming together. Piece by piece, it was coming together. The clock was counting down. They had a little over a week left to get the vessels made, get Pestilence’s ring, and make sure that nothing happened to either Winchester, or to the world.

This would work. It _had_ to work, because Gabriel didn’t want to think about what would happen if they had to go to plan B.


	19. Chapter 19

Discussing their plans took the group through the rest of breakfast. They built plans to go after Pestilence, because that was the part of things that _they_ could deal with. Plan B was essentially the humans’ plan to take care of. Gabriel would take care of his part of Plan A here soon. Coyote wasn’t expecting him until tonight; there was plenty that he’d be able to do on his own until Gabriel showed up. Plenty that could be started. Once Gabriel showed up tonight, they’d be able to start shaping the vessels. He wasn’t all that fond of leaving Sam alone each night but it was the easiest and safest way to do things. Sam would be protected through the night no matter where they were. Motel, Bobby’s place, there’d be people there with him while he was sleeping, and the bond protected his dreams. It was the safest time to leave him alone. It also allowed Coyote to do his own things during the day, rest and recover from the magic they put out. All in all it should take from three to five nights to get this done. Then, they’d be ready.

While Gabriel planned all of that in his head, Sam sat silently, watching most of the conversation going around the table. His friends and family were debating the best way to take out Pestilence and it was something that Sam knew he should probably contribute on. So far, though, no one had said anything that he didn’t agree with. Plus, as much as he hated to admit it, some of the things he would’ve suggested wouldn’t have been received half as well by Dean as they were when Ellen or Jo or Bobby suggested it. So far Dean hadn’t even looked over at him. If anything, he was very deliberately _not_ looking, and that hurt. It hurt like hell.

Gabriel seemed to think that Heaven wasn’t Sam’s fault. He’d said that it had been messed with, that that wasn’t really Sam’s Heaven, which made sense in a way because not once had Sam seen Jessica there and even though he knew he loved Gabriel now, there was a part of him that would always love Jessica and his memories of her were definitely some of his best. So why hadn’t she been there? The idea that angels hated his existence so much they were willing to destroy his Heaven that way was devastating. Still, it was nowhere near as devastating as having Dean get so angry with him over what he saw. Or having Dean throw away that one tangible proof of their brotherhood. Sam could still feel it now, resting underneath his shirt. The cool press of the amulet against his skin was like a constant reminder of how much his brother had once cared about him—before he’d messed it all up.

Without breaking stride in his debate with the others about how best to evacuate any civilians in the Convalescent home where Pestilence was, Gabriel shifted his weight a little and leaned forward like he was reaching for something on the table while at the same time dropping his arm off Sam’s shoulders and discreetly letting his hand press right against Sam’s stomach, right over the new scar there. His touch sparked and some of the chill inside of Sam was chased away by the warmth of Gabriel’s grace. Sam was smiling when Gabriel leaned back again. The trickster lifted his arm and dropped it around Sam’s shoulder as he casually leaned against him, his other hand gesturing wildly with whatever it was he was saying. Sam curled his own arm a little tighter over Gabriel’s waist and gave his hip a soft squeeze in thanks.

Once Dean caught sight of that, there was no doubt in Sam’s mind that he wasn’t going to approve of it. He wasn’t really sure anyone here would. They seemed okay for the most part with hearing that he and Gabriel were now bound together. Seeing the mark he had actually carved into Sam’s skin probably wouldn’t be taken so easily. But to Sam, that mark was perfect. It was perfect for _them_. The symbol, he knew, was an Enochian symbol that stood for Gabriel. It was basically his name branded now into Sam’s skin right over and around his bellybutton. But it was done with Loki’s ceremonial knife, with blood and sex. Gabriel had combined all aspects of himself in that ritual and Sam could feel the ties between them now. He could feel it every inch of him.

Sam hadn’t realized just how caught up in his thoughts he’d become until suddenly Gabriel was sitting up a little straighter and calling out “Right-o! Now that we’ve got that covered.” Clapping his hands together, Gabriel turned himself to smile at Sam. “My siblings and I are gonna go and have ourselves a quick little talk. I suggest you do the same with yours while you guys get ready to go.” His smirk softened into something a little warmer as he lifted his hand and cupped Sam’s cheek. One thumb stroked over Sam’s cheekbone. “Do me a favor and don’t leave Singer’s property without us, all right? I don’t need anything else happening when I’m not around.”

Sam leaned into Gabriel’s touch and smiled back up at him. The words probably sounded demanding and almost condescending to the others. To Sam, who swore he could _feel_ the love and worry that swam inside of his lover, the words were so much more and so easy to agree to. This wasn’t Gabriel trying to control him. This was Gabriel trying to keep him safe. And Sam could admit to himself that this feeling in him, this tangible sense of their bond, wasn’t all that pleased with the idea of Gabriel leaving anyways. “I’ll send up a prayer if you’re not back when we’re ready to go.”

“Good enough.” Bending, Gabriel stole a quick kiss. Then, with a snap, he and the angels were gone.

The table fell quiet with the angels no longer there. Sam’s gaze dropped down to his empty lap, already missing the comforting weight of his lover there. He shifted a little uncomfortably and avoided looking up. Why on earth was it that every time he and his brother fought he somehow ended up feeling like a kid all over again?

A nudge at his calf caught his attention and he looked down to find Dog sitting there staring up at him. Sam dropped his hand down to scratch behind the terrier’s ears and Dog happily pushed up against his hand, raising his front paws to rest against Sam’s leg. He let out a small bark that alerted the others, who probably hadn’t been able to see him there.

The silence in the room was edging towards awkward when the sound of a cell phone ringing cut through it all.

Sam pulled out his phone and saw Jesse’s name on the screen. _Saved by the bell._ Pushing up from the table, he gave everyone a brief “Excuse me” and then hurried out of the room even as he answered the call and brought the phone up to his ear. “Hey, Jesse. How’s it going?”

* * *

Off on the far side of Singer’s property, in a little area that offered a perfect view of the house while still being within the shields that Gabriel had slowly been erecting all around the property, the three angels stood silently facing one another. If any of the humans came outside, none of them would see them over here. Gabriel kept them hidden from sight. This wasn’t a conversation he wanted seen or heard by anyone; _especially_ Sam. He wasn’t going to add to his mate’s pain. Everyone had already done enough damage to him.

“All right.” Gabriel said, hooking his thumbs into his pockets and rocking back on his heels. “I brought you guys out here so you can get it out of your systems. Say whatever it is you want to say. This is the only chance I’m giving.”

He wasn’t surprised to see Castiel stay silent. He still looked just as unsure as before, but he also looked thoughtful. He’d always been a thoughtful angel. That trait only seemed to have grown in his time on earth. Knowing the Winchesters had done great things for the little seraph. In a lot of ways, he was what angels _should_ be, and Gabriel felt proud as he watched Castiel slowly growing up. He’d changed, even from the angel that he’d been when Gabriel had first seen him with the Winchesters. He’d changed from the angel that had followed orders, who had pushed the brothers apart and set Sam free from the panic room.

Anna, however, was still a bit of a mess. A mix of the Anael the angel, the human Anna, and the angel that she’d been made into during her time in Heaven’s prison. She was healing more and more every day, with Gabriel’s help, but in some ways she was still slightly unstable. Not a serious threat to them; he wouldn’t have let her anywhere near Sam if she were, nor allowed her to hear any of their plans. But, she was broken in some ways, and this situation had very obviously set her on edge, pushing against what the angel part of her would see as so very wrong. “May I speak freely?” She asked him, her tone just slightly clipped.

Well, this was going to be fun. “By all means.”

“What you’ve done is foolish and dangerous.” She wasted no time in saying. “There is no advantage to this. I don’t understand why you would do it. It doesn’t help our cause at all! If anything, it puts us _more_ at risk. As soon as Lucifer realizes he can’t get into Sam’s dreams anymore, he’s going to try and seek him out, and the minute any angel takes a close look at Sam they’re going to know that you’re alive and that you’ve claimed the boy. Why would you put us and everything we’ve done at risk this way?”

“For love.” Castiel said lowly. He was looking right at Gabriel and there was a light in his eyes, a light to his grace that Gabriel had noticed before that had grown just a little brighter.

The archangel tipped his head and watched Castiel for a long second. Then he found himself grinning. Well, well, well. Wasn’t this a fun little development? Sammy was going to be happy to hear about this. He’d grumbled more than once about the ‘eye sex’ between those two and Gabriel had to agree with him that it was bad. Looks like someone finally decided to fix it. “Castiel, you sly dog.” The trickster’s grin stretched wide. “Who made the first move—you or him? I’m betting him. It was him, wasn’t it?”

“Can we stay on topic, please?” Anna interrupted them. She case a quick look at Castiel and then turned back to Gabriel. “It’s a wonderful thing, the bond between Castiel and Dean deepening…”

“Wait a second.” Holding up a hand, Gabriel straightened himself and glared slightly. “Why is it a ‘wonderful thing’ for them, but for me you’ve done nothing but freak out?”

“It’s not the same! You’re an archangel, Gabriel! One of the First! To choose him…”

He couldn’t help how his wings bristled at the insult to his mate that was so blatant there. His happiness for Castiel was momentarily put on the back burner—he’d be visiting it later, when he and his baby brother were alone and he could tease him properly—and his whole focus turned to Anna. It was about damn time they got to the center of this. He’d started this whole thing prepared to try and listen as best as he could and get this dealt with before going back to his Sammy. Now, he’d had enough. His time away from Heaven hadn’t done anything to help his patience. “No matter what you or anyone else thinks, the choice of who I find worthy to claim is _mine_. I’m not blind to who he is, Anna. I know every one of his faults and I love him anyways. He’s broken and flawed and bloodstained—and absolutely beautiful. Our family has done so much to try and break him apart and he just keeps surviving. He keeps _trying_. Even after the torture he was put through in Heaven, he still wants to keep on helping, to keep doing good, even though every angel he comes across makes him feel like he’s an abomination.”

“I know he tries, Gabriel.” Anna said softly. “But you can’t deny he tends to make things worse.”

The trickster arched an eyebrow at her. “An whose fault is that?” He shook his head at her. “Don’t throw all the blame at his feet. He’s been pushed along by Heaven and Hell. _Both_ those boys have. The fact that they’re somehow managing to fight is freaking amazing and you know it. Do you realize how badly they screwed with his Heaven?” The rage that Gabriel had been shoving down now tried to push to the forefront. His personal rage at what had been done to Sam and the rage of an archangel who was furious and devastated both to see a soul’s Heaven so abused. His emotion brought an echo of his Voice into his words and some of that old power. “They took his Heaven and manipulated it to deliberately hurt him and drive a wedge between the brothers. They twisted it so badly, used it to hurt him, and then Zachariah caught the brothers and _tortured_ them until Joshua stepped in. Yet, do you know what he thought it was?” An ache spread in Gabriel’s grace and his wings snapped out, showing his hurt and fury. “He was sure that it was Heaven rejecting him. _Rejecting_ him. Like he wasn’t _worthy_ of being there.”

He saw his brother and sister wince. Even Anna, who would never be listed as a really big fan of Sam, drew back a little at that. They understood just how wrong that was. Heaven wasn’t supposed to be like that. No soul should ever come back from Heaven with that kind of pain. Torture like that was the work of demons; it should never be the work of angels. Heaven should never be abused that way. That wasn’t what their Father had intended it for.

“You asked me why I did this.” Gabriel said in a lower voice. “I did it for myself, and for Sam. For _us_. I did it because Sam is mine and I’m not going to lose him. I did it because Sam’s been alone far too many times and he deserved to know that someone loved him enough to be there for him, always. He deserves to have someone whose love he doesn’t have to question.” He felt Sam’s presence out in the yard and he turned to look over to where his mate was perched on the trunk of their car. He was on the phone and Gabriel could tell by the hint of a smile on his face, visible even at this distance, that it was Jesse he was talking to. It made his soul light up just a little more with the affection he carried for the boy. “He’s mine now. I’m not going to let him die again and be forced into a Heaven like that.”

* * *

As he hung up his cell phone, Sam gave in to the urge to rub his hand over his face. Though he’d only been up for a few hours, he felt exhausted. Right then he wanted nothing more than to have Gabriel fly them somewhere far away from here where they could just have each other without any interruptions. It was a nice fantasy; that was all it was, though, and he knew it. Just a fantasy. There was too much to do. Too many responsibilities that were weighing on the both of them. He couldn’t just run away. But if they survived this, if they made it through, Sam knew what he wanted to do. He’d grab Gabriel, load up in the car and find them somewhere to go, on either coast. Somewhere with sun and sand and water where he could relax a little, maybe surf like he hadn’t been able to do since Stanford. The idea of getting Gabriel out on the waves in whatever excuse for a swimsuit he’d choose to wear, which Sam could only imagine would be fantastic, made him grin. He wouldn’t even protest to Gabriel getting them one of the fancy rooms that the hunter knew he preferred. He wanted at least a week, just the two of them.

He caught sight of Dog chasing a bug around a car and smiled just slightly. Okay, the _three_ of them. Maybe even the four of them, once they got a little time alone. He imagined that Jesse would like a beach vacation. Sam could show him how to surf. Get the kid to laugh a little. He’d been doing really well at his studies according to all their phone calls. He deserved a break, too.

It was nice to entertain himself with those thoughts for a little while. But the sound of baby’s trunk slamming shut drew him back to reality. He turned to find Dean standing there, turned toward him while still not looking at him. “We’re packed.” His brother called out in a voice that was both cool and flat. “Better call your keeper and let him know it’s time to go. I’ll go get everyone else.”

All at once Sam’s resolve to just let this go and let his brother deal with it in his own way went right out the window. They couldn’t do this. They couldn’t go out on a case like this. Especially not an important case like this one. “Are you planning on ignoring me the entire time, or are you going to manage to actually speak to me sometime before we go in after Pestilence?”

Sometimes the best way to get things out in the open with Dean was to provoke him into fighting about it. A lot more got out in the open and dealt with that way. There was a part of Sam that was almost too tired to do this; a part that sounded a little like Gabriel that whispered to him that he hadn’t been the one to do anything wrong this time, so why was he the one who had to try and fix it? But he pushed that voice down. This was just how he and Dean worked. It was how they always worked. No matter who was at fault, it always fell to Sam to make them talk about it, because Dean would hold it in and stew and simmer and repress in true Winchester fashion.

His snarky words did the trick. For the first time all day, Dean’s eyes snapped to Sam and actually looked right at him. There was temper and hurt there both, a combination that made Sam’s insides clench, but there was something else unique to his brother that told him that it wouldn’t take too much to get this fixed. A part of Dean was already wanting it. That was what Sam saw there. Big brother worry, affection, and a bit of regret. That didn’t mean that Dean was going to make it easy, though. “I don’t have anything to say to you. I think you and your boyfriend said plenty. Oh, _excuse me_ , I guess that’s _husband_ now, huh?”

Sam fought back the urge to sigh. There were little moments that he sometimes wished he and Gabriel hadn’t joined back up with Dean. Things had been so much easier when it was the two of them. Most of the time, though, he found he was pathetically grateful to be here, even if Dean was furious with him. Maybe everyone was right and they were way too codependent. He didn’t really care. Dean was his brother, his big brother, and there would always be a part of Sam that needed him.

However, he also needed Gabriel, and that wasn’t something that was going to change. “I guess he is, in a way.” Really, this bond felt deeper than that, but Sam didn’t know if he had any words for it.

Dean’s scowl grew deeper. “Thanks for the invite to the wedding. Or, y’know, even giving me a heads up it was going on.”

The thought of Dean having been there to witness the ritual had Sam wanting to simultaneously gag and laugh. A hint of a smile grew unnoticed on his lips. “I really doubt you would’ve wanted to be there, Dean. He bound me with both sides, and pagan rituals aren’t exactly something you invite your family to.” He turned himself a little more towards his brother and tried to keep his posture as casual as possible. “Besides, we both know this isn’t your problem right now.”

“We’re not talking about this. We’ve got too much to do to be drawing this shit up right now, Sam.” Dean said flatly.

“We have to talk about it.” Sam shot back before Dean could walk away. “At the very least, we gotta do something before we go, cause there’s no way we can hunt like this.”

That was enough to stop Dean’s retreat. Dad had always taught them never to go on a hunt pissed off at each other. A little angry, yeah, sure. They were brothers. It happened. But pissed? That was a quick way to get someone killed. Being reminded of that was enough to make Dean turn back to face him once more. His expression was hard and furious and it made Sam want to flinch, as did the sharp tone to his voice. “What do you want from me, Sam? Huh? You want us to hug it out and sing campfire songs?”

“I want you to talk to me!” Sam shouted. “I want you to stop acting like my Heaven was a personal attack on _you_! It wasn’t even _my_ Heaven! Those were my memories, sure, but they weren’t my greatest hits, not like yours were. Didn’t you stop to wonder why there were no memories of you and Dad in there? Or of Bobby? Or, hell, _Jess_?”

He saw that last one hit home, but Dean was too pissed off to really let it sink in. His temper was too high and it was leading the way. “Maybe those weren’t your number one hits, but they sure as hell made you happy. I saw you with that stupid dog.” Dean’s lip curled up. “You were pretty damn happy to see him, but you seem to forget just how much hell that time was for everyone else. How you let us think you might be dead or something, while all the while you were out living it up, having a freaking blast.”

“You’re pissed that I’m not seeing your side of it, but you’re not seeing mine either, Dean!”

Dean let out a mocking laugh that had no real traces of humor in it. “Oh, I’m seeing it. I’ve always seen just how ready you are to run away from your family. You’re already running away again, only with a trickster this time. No matter how many times I sacrifice for you, you’re always ready to just turn your back on me and run away. I gave up my life for you! I went to _Hell_ for you! But I guess it’s never enough, huh?”

Dammit! Sam curled his hands into fists and tried not to swing at his brother. His own temper sparked to life, pushing back the guilt and regret, and it had him lashing back with words he wouldn’t typically dare say. Words he’d thought so many times and yet had never had the courage to outright say. “Did you ever think that maybe I didn’t want you to make that sacrifice for me?”

“Wow.” Dean said with a snarl. “Talk about freaking gratitude. Nice, Sam.”

“Gratitude? You can lie to yourself all you want and try and claim you did it for me, but we both know better. You did made that deal for _you_!” Sam shouted back at him. He stepped forward and jabbed a finger Dean’s way. “Don’t you dare try and talk to me about gratitude, about what you’ve done for me. I never wanted it! _You_ couldn’t live without me, so you made that choice for the both of us. You were only thinking about what you wanted. You were so sure you couldn’t live without me, were so dead set on making sure that I stayed alive.” He took another step forward and it felt like he was trembling with his temper. Dog tangled around his feet suddenly, barking up at him, but Sam was too pissed to care. Too pissed off to even notice. His hurt and anger were flowing out of him now and there was no stopping it. “But you were too busy thinking of yourself you forgot the fact that while you’re happy because your sacrifice _saved me_ , I was the one left here afterwards. I was the one that had to live with what you did. And it’s so damn _stupid_ cause I’m the one that should’ve been dead all along.”

His last words hit Dean like a slap to the face. Sam watched as Dean actually staggered back. Inside, he felt Gabriel’s heartache, telling him that the archangel was close enough to be listening. More than that, though, Sam realized that they had quite an audience. Jo, Ellen and Bobby were standing on the porch, watching this, and the expressions they wore said clearly that they’d heard him. Sam felt laid open and exposed in front of everyone and it made him back himself up a little.

Dean took a step after him. His shock was gone and it was replaced with a familiar temper that Sam knew meant his brother was even more scared than before. Dean didn’t handle fear well. “Don’t you dare say that!” He snapped at Sam. “Don’t you dare!”

“It’s true, Dean, and you know it.” In contrast to his earlier shouting, Sam’s voice was lower, calmer now. He felt the warmth of Gabriel’s presence inside of him and the safety and love that he felt in that helped him to mellow his temper, which had always been far too explosive. “I’m not saying that I want to die—I don’t.” The words were true, too. He wasn’t just saying that to make Dean feel better. He didn’t _want_ to die. Even when he’d tried to kill himself before to stop Lucifer, he hadn’t actively _wanted_ to die. He’d just been willing to do whatever it took. “I have reasons to want to live. Family, friends, a partner. I wasn’t saying that I want to be dead right now. But you can’t deny that I should be. And no matter how much good I get in life, no matter how much good I do, it’s never going to make up for all the bad I’ve done. It won’t make up for all the time you spent down below just so I could be here. The tradeoff will never be equal and you know it.”

“I don’t care.” Dean said. His voice had lowered too, but it was packed with more emotion. “I don’t give a damn if it’s equal or not. There wasn’t anything else I could do. I had to save you, Sammy. I had to.”

“No. What you have to do is learn to live a life beyond me. That’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to me, either. Dad forced your whole life to be about taking care of me, but eventually, you have to let me grow up. You have to let the both of us grow up.” He held his hands out, trying to entreat Dean to listen to him, to understand. “Just because I’ve found someone stupid enough to love me doesn’t mean you’re going to be any less a part of my life. But, this is what kids do, Dean. They grow up. They find someone to love, someone who loves them, and they make the best life they can. You’ve just got to learn to let me grow up.”

The yard fell quiet. Sam knew this was a risk, laying all this out in the open with an audience right there. He knew how well Dean dealt with these kinds of things when it was just the two of them let alone when others were there. So it really wasn’t a surprise when Dean turned around and walked over to climb into his car without saying a word. That was the best of the reactions that Sam could’ve predicted. He’d given Dean a hell of a lot to think about and his brother was going to take the time to do just that—think about it. He hadn’t expected any answer right this instant.

He saw Anna and Castiel appear in the impala with Dean. His brother started the car up and that signaled everyone else. Bobby and Ellen gave Sam a look before they went to Bobby’s truck. That left Jo coming over to join Sam, who had just turned to find Gabriel already seated in the passenger’s seat of the car.

The younger Winchester was grateful when Jo didn’t say anything about what she’d just witnessed. She gave Sam’s arm a squeeze when she got to him and then just smiled sunnily at him and said “I guess I get to ride with you. Hope you don’t mind an extra passenger.”

He smiled gratefully down at her. “Not at all. So long as you don’t mind riding with a four legged lap warmer.”

Dog barked happily and jumped against her leg, making the young woman laugh. The two loaded into the backseat while Sam went around and climbed into the front seat. Gabriel gave him only a second before he used the front of Sam’s shirt to yank him in for a quick and dirty kiss that eased out some of the knots in Sam’s shoulders and sent a curl of warmth through his stomach. When they broke apart, Gabriel was smiling at him and Sam found himself smiling back. It was a lot easier to believe that everything was going to be okay when he had Gabriel beside him.

Gabriel’s smile softened into a familiar smirk that was both amused and affectionate. “You’re such a sap.”

“Bite me.” Sam shot back.

He was still chuckling as he started the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Off to get Pestilence!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still not satisfied with this but I can't make you guys wait any longer. Sorry! I hope you like it

Jo had declared them idiots the instant they’d told her Dog’s name was simply Dog. It took her all of five minutes to start calling him Rex. Sam just shook his head at that but didn’t bother protesting. He was oddly content at the moment. Despite everything that had happened, all the things he knew would come crashing back to him at some point or another, he felt just a moment of peace as he drove his car down the road with the music playing lowly in the background. He had Gabriel beside him, their fingers laced lightly together, and the trickster was turned enough that he could chat easily with Jo about some hunt that Jo and Ellen had gone on. Dog was in the backseat, happily laying in Jo’s lap to shamelessly beg for belly rubs. Up ahead, those that made up his little family were all in their cars, the whole group of them heading off to this important hunt. If it weren’t for the life-or-death threat that hung over them all, this would be kind of perfect.

_Like I said—sap._ Gabriel’s warm voice sounded through Sam’s mind, echoing with a hint of that familiar chuckle.

Hearing the voice in his head startled Sam enough that his eyes shot over to his partner. The little shit just flashed him a grin and a wink and went back to conversation with Jo. Knowing that Gabriel could hear him, Sam rolled his eyes and clearly thought _You shouldn’t try to surprise the person driving, I hope you know._

_Like I’d let us die. Have a little faith, Samshine!_

That made Sam snort. What an apt choice of words here. Still, before he could remind himself that Gabriel could hear every thought, not just the ones he wanted to hear, he found himself thinking _I’ve always had faith in you_. The minute he realized he’d thought it, he blushed and tried very hard not to look over at his lover. That didn’t stop him from feeling the warm wave of affection that swelled from the archangel, though. They both knew the words were true. Sam had always believed in Gabriel; even back as a child, he’d believed in him. Had prayed to him, even.

Sam was saved from his little mental embarrassment when Jo suddenly spoke up from the backseat loud enough to interrupt his thoughts. “Seriously?” She said, sounding surprised. A look back showed that she was staring up at the radio, which had just switched songs. “What station are you two listening to that plays Black Sabbath, Frank Sinatra _and_ whoever this country singer is?”

“It’s Christian Kane.” Gabriel supplied helpfully. Then he grinned at her with a mischievous look Sam knew well. “And we’re listening to 92.3 L-O-K-I!”

Amused, Sam looked up in the rearview mirror, catching Jo’s gaze. “He puts it on the regular stations sometimes, but mostly he just likes to keep it playing his own choice of songs. You get used to it.”

Jo shook her head. “This is so weird. I’m not…” She trailed off, obviously unsure what to say, or realizing that she was stepping into what might be murky territory.

In the small pause she gave, though, Sam picked up the slack. He wasn’t going to skirt around the subject of his brother. “You’re not used to seeing me without Dean. I know. But, he’s still here, and he’ll always be welcome here. Our family’s just a little bit bigger than it was before.”

Apparently him talking was a cue to Jo that this was an okay subject to pursue. She lost her hesitation, though her voice was still gentle enough to show she wasn’t trying to deliberately upset him. “Yeah, but you two were always in the same car. Always _together_. That’s gotta be a big change. Once this is over, wouldn’t it just be easier to fit you all in the impala like before instead of driving around two cars? It’d be cheaper.”

“We’ve traveled in two cars before.” Sam felt the need to point out. “Dad used to drive his truck while Dean drove the impala. It’s not like it’s impossible to do.”

“And money isn’t a problem.” Gabriel added in, giving Sam’s hand a squeeze.

Sam resisted the urge to snort. Yeah, money really _wasn’t_ a problem. Nestled in Sam’s wallet was a credit card which carried the name Sam Laufeyson. He’d always rolled his eyes over that before; now, he guessed it was a bit more appropriate. But Gabriel had given that to him a while ago with the casual comment that it had no limit on it. He tended to get a bit offended, too, if Sam didn’t use it. Early on, he’d claimed that he only did it so that Sam would eat while he was gone, and so that he’d never again go in a motel room that looked anything like the ‘flea infested cesspool’ that he’d once found Sam in. He’d definitely gotten Sam used to a slightly better class of motel rooms.

“Not that that would take much.” Gabriel said dryly. He gave Sam a baleful look. “You still try to pick the crap ones, though.”

“You always snap them better anyways.” Sam said.

“I knew it.” Faking a pout, Gabriel drew his hand back and tried to look pitiful. He failed miserably. “You’re only using me for my fingers.”

There were so many ways that could be taken other than his snapping, which he knew was exactly what the trickster had intended. Sam flushed, Gabriel grinned, and Jo laughed. “You two are insane.” She told them, still grinning.

“This is nothing.” Sam told her honestly. If she thought _this_ was insane, she had a lot to learn about time spent with the trickster. “This is _mild_. Gabe’s actually behaving.” Just because he knew what reaction he’d get, he made sure to give Gabriel a worried, contemplative look after he said that. Sure enough, Gabriel snorted and rolled his eyes at him even as his smirk threatened to turn into a grin. A finger snap had a sucker appearing in Sam’s mouth. He’d gotten a little too used to that to startle much. Instead, he swirled his tongue over it, testing the flavor, and then gave a happy little hum. Yum. Blueberry pie. One of his favorites.

Sam lost track of the conversation again as he let himself get a little lost in the road and the radio and the comfort of his mate beside him.

One second, they were driving down the road, and everything was fine. The next, Gabriel’s head snapped up just as Sam saw the impala and Bobby’s truck slam on their brakes. Sam did the same, hands gripping and twisting the wheel to try and save it as he tried to stop them before they connected with the others.

He had a feeling their safe stop could be attributed to his passenger. A passenger who suddenly looked very, _very_ pissed off. Before Sam could say anything, Gabriel answered his unspoken question with one low, furious growl.

“ _Zachariah_.”

Gabriel climbed out of the car, not snapped his way out, and Sam scrambled to hurry out after him. He heard Jo climbing out as well but he couldn’t really focus on her. His focus was just ahead of him on the—suddenly empty—highway where his brother, Ellen, Bobby, Castiel and Anna were all out of their cars as well, and faced with at least fifteen other angels, led by Zachariah.

“I’ve had enough of these games.” Zachariah was saying as Sam got closer. His eyes were fixed right on Dean. “You’ve had your time playing with your rebellious little angels. Now it’s time for them to come home where they belong, and it’s time for you to go where you belong.”

Castiel and Anna both shifted to either side of Dean in obvious preparation to defend him. They had their angel blades in hand and their bodies were braced. Ellen and Bobby were both reaching for weapons as well. But none of them got a chance to do or say anything before one deceptively laid back, slightly mocking voice echoed through the air. “These boys aren’t going anywhere.” The whole street went silent and everyone was watching as Gabriel strode up to Castiel’s side. He stopped there, thumbs hooked in his pockets, and as Sam got close to him he could see the smirk that his trickster wore. “Hey there, Zachy. How’s it going?”

The angel stared at Gabriel with a look Sam had thought was reserved for the likes of him. Zachariah’s lip curled up as he looked Gabriel over from head to toe. It wasn’t until he opened his mouth that Sam realized what was going on. “Loki, is it?” The angel said disdainfully. “I’d heard they’d found themselves a filthy pagan to work with. You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into. Why don’t you scurry on out of here and I’ll pretend I never saw you here?”

Holy shit. They had no idea who Gabriel was! As Sam reached his lover, he felt Gabriel’s amusement at his realization and he saw the trickster’s smirk grow just a little bit. However, to Sam’s surprise, Gabriel didn’t answer Zachariah’s threat. At least, not with words. Instead, he reached out and wrapped one arm around Sam’s waist, curling it over his other hip and using that to tug him in. Sam returned the half embrace mostly out of necessity, otherwise his arm would’ve been squished between them. But he shot his lover a curious look as he did. What was he doing?

It wasn’t until Zachariah’s gaze fell on Sam and his eyes almost bugged out of his head that Sam remembered what Anna had said earlier. Every angel who saw Sam would be able to see the claim on him. Not just Loki’s claim—Gabriel’s, too. The trickster/archangel only grinned even more as a few of the angels behind Zachariah actually took a step or two back when they saw Sam. When Zachariah’s eyes lifted, still wide, Gabriel laughed. “Some things haven’t changed, I see. You always did miss what was right in front of your face, _brother_.”

“ _You_.”  Zachariah said incredulously. “But you…we all thought you were dead…”

Gabriel held out his hand. “I know. I’m just that good.” He grinned and pulled his hand in, buffing his fingernails on his jacket in a gesture that had Sam fighting back the urge to laugh. Sarcastic little shit. Then, in a startling display of power, he lifted that hand and gave a lazy sort of snap. Immediately, all the angels but Zachariah vanished. “There! Better if we talk this way, don’t you think, Zachy boy?”

Sam wasn’t the only one to gape a little at that. He could see the shock in his family around him. Gabriel had just gotten rid of at least fifteen other angels without even breaking a sweat. Sam and Dean had seen Castiel fight hard against just a few angels. Yet Gabriel didn’t even seem to register just how big a thing he’d done. Sam could feel it in him; could feel how little power that had taken. It was an insane reminder for them of the difference between a regular angel and an _arch_ angel.

If Zachariah had looked stunned before, he looked _terrified_ now. He tried to fall back on a bravado that didn’t work anywhere near as well as normal. “You know what’s going on here, Gabriel. You know what this is. These boys have a destiny. You could have your pick of whatever humans you want!”

“Screw your destiny crap.” Dean snarled out at him. It looked like Castiel had a hand on his shoulder, most likely holding him back. At some point, Anna had moved over to stand by Ellen, Bobby and Jo, very obviously protecting them. Even with the other angels gone she was still prepared to fight, angle blade in hand.

The only person who looked relaxed was Gabriel. “I never was one for following the rules.” He said casually. He bumped his hip against Sam’s and leaned his head just enough to rest against the hunter’s shoulder. It was a move meant to convey a message and it had the desired effect. Zachariah’s eyes narrowed and his body tensed.

Huh. Looked like the dick was getting the hang of using his vessel. He was showing almost human emotion on it.

Beside him, Sam felt more than heard Gabriel’s chuckles.

Their mirth seemed to only piss off Zachariah even more. There was a part of him that Sam could just _feel_ that wanted to cower in front of Gabriel. A part that probably recognized the power in front of him and knew he didn’t stand a chance. But there was also ego there, and a surety that the one backing him would protect him. “Michael won’t allow this.”

If he’d thought to scare with that, he was sadly mistaken. Laughing, Gabriel shook his head. “Probably not. He’s probably gonna throw a bitchfit of epic proportions.” The smile he wore sharpened and his inner trickster came forward. It turned his smile to a smirk, one that was cold and cruel, and his eyes went just a little dark. “Not that it matters to you. You won’t be here to see it.” His grin sharpened a little more and he lifted his angel blade, pointing it right at the angel. “You never should’ve touched what’s mine.”

This was the darker side of his lover that Sam never forgot was there. Absently, he thought to himself that this dark, possessive part of him probably shouldn’t turn him on as much as it did. A low burn of arousal curled down low in his gut, though. It only grew when Gabriel turned himself and caught Sam’s shirt in his hand, yanking him down for a sharp and hot kiss. He nipped at Sam’s lip as he pulled away. “Get everyone outta here, handsome. I’ll catch up.”

“Gabe,” _No_. Sam didn’t want to leave him here. He didn’t want to leave while Gabriel stayed behind to fight for them.

Dark and light both flashed through Gabriel’s eyes. His tone, though, was low and steady. “Go on. My brother and I need to talk.”

Sam didn’t get a chance to protest. Before he could say or do anything, Gabriel snapped his fingers and the world around them changed.

* * *

The sound of more than one person cursing echoed in the air around them. Sam didn’t care. He didn’t pay any attention to his brother’s furious shouts or Bobby’s demands or anything else. He spun in place, looking around him, trying to find Gabriel even though he knew it was pointless. The idiotic trickster had sent them away. Apparently to a motel somewhere along the highway. Sam looked at the building in front of him and wanted to shout. Any other time he might’ve taken a moment to be impressed by the fact that Gabriel had just snapped his fingers and transported five humans, two angels, a dog, and three cars to a motel parking lot, somehow without anyone seeming to notice anything.

“Where the hell are we?” Dean demanded.

“Davenport, Iowa.” Castiel said.

That got everyone’s attention. The humans all turned to face him, surprise on their faces. “Davenport?” Ellen repeated, sounding stunned. “He sent us right to our destination?”

Castiel nodded at her. “Yes.”

“Well why didn’t he just do that to begin with?” She shot back.

“Dean is not fond of angelic travel.” Castiel explained in that usual blunt, honest way of his. “I believe it makes him ill. He prefers driving to his destinations.”

Sam didn’t really give a damn about what they were arguing about. Drive, fly, who cared? Gabriel was back there, alone, facing off with Zachariah! Not that Sam was concerned about him losing whatever fight he was about to have. No, of course not. He knew there was no way Zachariah could kill him. But who knew what else would happen? What if Zachariah called Michael down? What if they somehow drew Gabriel back home? Gabriel had left home a long, long time ago to get away from the fighting. Now, because of Sam, he was right smack dab in the center of it all once more, pitted against his brothers and sisters in a way Sam had never wanted him to have to be.

He was startled out of his thoughts by a soft hand coming down on his shoulder. To his surprise, it was Anna who was standing there, compassion in her eyes. He looked at her and he could see some of the fondness that had been there before she’d gotten her grace back. Whatever talk Gabriel had had with her and Castiel, it must’ve done wonders. She was looking at him now without any of the disdain or anger or any of those negative things that had been there earlier. There was just compassion and understanding on her face. “He will be fine, Sam.” She reassured him in a gentle voice. “Zachariah stands no chance against him.”

Sam swallowed down the lump in his throat and turned back to stare off into the distance. He didn’t consciously realize that he was staring in the exact direction that Gabriel was in. “I know that.”

“Then why do you look so worried?”

“I never wanted him to have to fight any angels for me.” Sam said softly. He turned again, looking back at everyone. His eyes ran over the two angels who were watching him and he gave a sad little smile. “I never wanted any of you to have to kill your family to keep me safe. Assholes or not, they’re still your family. I haven’t forgotten that.” He closed his eyes and blew out a breath. They didn’t have time for grief right now. Gabriel had sent them ahead, taking care of what was left behind, and they needed to take care of what was here. “I’ll go and get us some rooms. We should set up while we wait for him.”

* * *

They didn’t have a long wait. They’d barely gotten into their rooms—Sam had gotten three rooms, but they were all meeting up in one for a moment to decide what to do—when a familiar sensation tugged at Sam and he turned to look just as Gabriel appeared in the overstuffed chair beside Sam. His arrival drew everyone’s attention, not just Sam’s. Both Castiel and Anna had turned at the same time that Sam had and everyone else had looked to see what had caught their attention.

Gabriel lounged back in the chair, one arm thrown over the back of it and his legs kicked up over one armrest. He had a sucker in his mouth and was twirling it idly by the stick. It did nothing to hide the smirk he wore, though. “Hey, boys and girls. Miss me?”

One look at his face had Sam smothering a wince. Oh, hell. This wasn’t Gabriel right now. No, this was a personality Sam knew all too well, one that he knew was pulled out when there were things or emotions that the archangel didn’t want to deal with. This was Loki right now, all sharp eyes and cruel smirk. This was his defense against the pain that Sam could actually _feel_ coming from his lover. And Sam said nothing on it. He didn’t comment, didn’t call him on it, didn’t try and push. He knew without having to be told what had happened back there. He knew what Gabriel had been forced to do. Could he really blame him for being hurt or upset? If this was how he needed to deal with it, so be it. Sam had dealt with this part of him many times before. He could handle it now. He’d learned enough to know that Gabriel didn’t need soft words or hugs or anything like that.

He looked down at Gabriel for a moment before taking the single step to close the distance between them. Then, surprising Gabriel completely, he dropped down into his lap. It would’ve squashed a normal human of Gabriel’s size. The trickster didn’t even grunt. He just arched an eyebrow at him. Both eyebrows went up when Sam stole the sucker from his mouth and popped it into his own. The hunter grinned around the stick. “Not the in the least.”

Gabriel stared at him for a moment. His expression melted into a grin that was more normal than the last. “Saucy little shit.”

“You like it.” Sam shot back.

“You two are so gross.” Jo told them, grinning all the while.

Sam smiled right back at her. Before he could say anything, Dean snorted, drawing Sam’s eyes to him. He found his brother not frowning like he’d thought he might, or scowling, but actually looking at them with an expression that was half brotherly disgust and half wry humor. “You kinda get used to it.” The older Winchester said. “They’re not exactly shy.” There was no malice in the words, though, and something in Sam eased a little.

“Brother,” Castiel said, interrupting the conversation. He would’ve said more, but a gesture from Anna stopped him. He didn’t need to ask more, though. Gabriel’s expression turned hooded once more and his mask slipped back into place. “It’s handled.” He dropped one arm over Sam’s lap and curled his fingers possessively over the hunter’s hip. “He won’t be bothering us anymore.”

“Good.” Ellen said plainly. Then, with a skill that Sam sometimes envied, she corralled the whole room and drew them off this topic and onto another. “Let’s focus on what we came here for. We got a Horseman to hunt.”

Everyone followed Ellen’s direction, even the angels which was kind of amusing, but Sam took a moment to just stay where he was. He used the noise everyone was making as a cover and took the small bit of privacy that he could claim here. Looking down at his partner’s face, he found Gabriel watching him, that mask still in place. Sam nodded a little when he saw it. Pulling the sucker from his mouth, he bent down and gave him a kiss that held no hint of softness to it. He nipped at Gabriel’s bottom lip as he pulled back and enjoyed the little hiss it earned him. When golden eyes opened once more to look at him, they were hot and heavy, full of the warmth that Sam liked seeing there. The one that let him know he was wanted and loved, even before Gabriel had ever said the words. “I’m sorry.” Sam said softly.

Pain flashed briefly in Gabriel’s eyes and was quickly smothered down. “I thought you’d be celebrating, Samoose. That’s one less mega-douche to worry about.” His words dripped with barely contained venom.

Sam didn’t flinch from his tone. He laid one hand on Gabriel’s chest and just pressed it there, feeling the newfound bond between them brighten and warm a little. “He was your brother.”

“He wasn’t who he used to be.”

“He was still your brother.” Sam said simply. “And I’m sorry.”

There was a moment of quiet between them in which Sam made sure not to break eye contact. He wanted Gabriel to know that no matter what had happened, no matter how much of a dick Zachariah had been, Sam recognized that he’d been Gabriel’s brother and killing him hadn’t been something easy for him. The harsh look on Gabriel’s face faded just slightly. Then, like someone had yanked out a plug, the tension in the trickster’s body faded. “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Gabriel said as he rolled his eyes. However, when he looked up at Sam again, there was gratitude there, even if it was all quickly covered by his usual mocking humor. “Get off me, Gigantor. We’ve got work to do.”

* * *

Going up against Pestilence was, in comparison to when they’d gone up against War and Famine, startlingly easy. Then again, Sam had a feeling that a lot of things could be easy when you had five hunters, two angels, and one archangel. The Horseman hadn’t really stood a chance. For once Team Free Will actually lived up to the title of ‘team’ and worked together to get in the building and corner Pestilence. Gabriel’s power kept them mostly protected from the illnesses sent their way and, really, without that, Pestilence didn’t have as much against them. A short fight and Bobby got to do the honors this time of cutting off the ring.

After that, Gabriel sent them back to the motel while he and the other two angels spent an hour putting to rights everything they could, healing what damage was left over from Pestilence’s machinations. Luckily for them that they did. Because while they were there, they happened to catch a demon that had been serving Pestilence, and though Gabriel wouldn’t give Sam any details it wasn’t hard to guess how his trickster had gotten answers out of her. Not that it really mattered. What mattered was what he was telling them.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Dean said slowly. He sat on the end of the bed, a gun in his hands. He’d been cleaning it when the angels had arrived and it lay forgotten in his hands now as he stared up at them. Their news had stunned them all.

“Nope.” Gabriel made a popping sound on the ‘p’. “Pestilence has been spreading swine flu like crazy. You were even talking about it earlier. Did you think he did it for no reason? He spreads that around and then his company, this Niveus Pharmaceuticals, can send out their vaccine to everyone around. Only, it’s not vaccine. It’s chock full of Croatoan. Bit of a genius plan, really.”

“Genius.” Jo repeated, sounding just a little disgusted.

Shrugging, Gabriel dropped down into the same chair he’d been sitting in earlier, in an almost identical position. “It’s nasty, of course, an we’ll stop him. But, still. Gotta admire the brains behind it. It’s got ‘big brother’ written all over it. He always was a bit too smart for his own good. And ours.”

“We have to stop it before it gets shipped out.” Anna told them.

Sam wondered briefly if he’d been spending too much time with Gabriel. The first urge he had when Anna spoke was to roll his eyes and say ‘Duh’. It was almost immediately pushed down underneath the part of him that knew much better than to talk to anyone, let alone an angel, like that. He hadn’t pushed it down fast enough, though. Warm laughter echoed in his head, followed by Gabriel’s amused voice. _Aw, Samshine, getting a little snarky over there?_

He sounded rather proud of that. Sam resisted the urge to chuckle and tried to keep his expression serious, as the conversation that was going on warranted. His thoughts, though, reflected the bit of humor that he wasn’t letting himself admit to. _I’ve spent too much time with you—you’re rubbing off on me._

As soon as he thought it, he realized how that sounded and exactly how Gabriel would take it. Sure enough, _That sounds promising. Later, big boy, once we clean up this mess._ Out loud, Gabriel interrupted the conversation that was going on by loudly clearing his throat. As soon as all eyes were on him, he grinned at them. “You guys are all debating over something simple. Destroy the warehouse, destroy the shipments, everyone walks away happy and the world’s saved from turning into Zombieland. Simple! Our beautiful badass ladies over here and Papa Singer can take care of it, no problemo, while you boys and I take a little trip.”

That last bit had Sam and Dean both straightening up. “A trip?” They said together. Dean took a step towards in a move that his younger brother doubted he even realized he was doing, the urge to protect Sam just instinctive. “Where do you think we’re going?” Dean demanded.

Gabriel looked at them with open amusement. “It’s so cute when you talk together.” He gushed mockingly.

“Gabe…” Sam put warning in his voice.

Sighing, the trickster rolled his eyes. “I told you bozos before, to make these new vessels I need a little something from you.”

“Blood.” Dean said, remembering the conversation quicker than Sam. “You need our blood for it.”

“Bingo!” Snapping, Gabriel made a party hat appear on Dean’s head, bringing more than a few grins out from everyone. Dean didn’t notice and Sam had to try not to laugh and give it away. The trickster didn’t bother hiding his mirth. He smirked right at Dean. “The blood of the old vessels to strengthen the new, boys. An I could just take some, it’d still work. I did it with mine. Snatched a bit of blood from my true vessel and used it to make this beauty.” He gestured down over himself with his hands. “But it packs a bit more of a punch if it’s willingly given as we start. So! You boys get to take a trip with little ol’ me and come bleed a little for me while I say a few magic words. Then I’ll get you right back to that graveyard for cars, good as new.”

“I will come with you.” Castiel said before Dean got a chance to speak.

Beside him, Anna nodded. “That’s good. And I’ll stay with them.” She gestured back towards the two women that Sam had noticed she’d seemed to take a bit of a shine to. The way she was around them reminded Sam a little of how Castiel had been at first with Dean, back when they’d just been building a close friendship, only without all the creepy staring and ‘do as I command’ stuff. Anna seemed to truly like the two women and want to be there just to help.

Gabriel clapped his hands and bounced up from the chair. “Perfect! We’re all set, then! Anna, you fly them back home when you’re done, and call if you need anything. Boys,” Pausing, he snapped his fingers, and Sam watched all their stuff vanish. He had a feeling if he looked outside the cars would be gone, too. Gabriel gave him a grin and a wink when he caught that thought, letting him know he’d guessed right. “Let’s get this show on the road!”

Before Dean could protest, there was another snap and they were gone.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I guess I wasn't the only one to not like that last chapter. I hope you guys like this one better!

Gabriel hadn’t been kidding when he’d said all he needed was for them to bleed into a bowl while he chanted a few words. Really, it was all they ended up doing. A bit of bleeding, a few ritual words, and then Gabriel had grinned and told them that was all he needed from them. A moment later they’d both been standing in the driveway outside of Bobby’s house. Both their cars were parked there.

To Sam, it was all too typical of his mate’s behavior. Nothing that he wasn’t used to or that he couldn’t just roll his eyes at and move on from. For Dean, however, all this flying and moving and doing things without a ‘by your leave’ was enough to have him growling. “Get your husband under control, dude. He keeps snapping us in and out without even asking and I’m gonna stab the mouthy little fucker.”

“Won’t kill him.” Sam felt compelled to point out.

“No, but I doubt it’ll feel good for him! And it’ll make me feel better.”

The younger Winchester couldn’t quite hold back his laughter as he followed his brother into the house. That growled statement was reminiscent of the multitude of times that Sam had threatened to stab the trickster. He and Dean shared a smile and Sam felt himself relax a little more. He knew his brother well and caught the unspoken apology in his eyes and in the clap of his hand on Sam’s shoulder. That was all they needed. They didn’t have to hash out their fight anymore. They didn’t have to debate it. Sam had said his piece and, for once, Dean had heard him loud and clear. For now, that was good enough. Anything else could wait.

The two headed inside and in short order Dean was making them some lunch. The others arrived not long later to find the two boys talking and laughing together at the table, eating burgers and drinking Bobby’s beer.

* * *

With Pestilence taken care of, and Gabriel’s promise that Death’s ring wouldn’t be any trouble, there really wasn’t anything for the Winchesters or their friends to do. Nothing except wait for Gabriel’s preparations for ‘Plan A’ to be done. Even then, even if he finished tomorrow, they still had to wait a week for the full moon and apparently that was when things needed to be done. That meant they had a week to do pretty much nothing. Because leaving the property was out of the question. Even Sam and Dean had agreed—albeit reluctantly—that going out right now wasn’t the smartest plan. Heaven and Hel would be searching frantically for both boys. Right now, there was no safer place for them to be than at Bobby’s. The place had been warded to the hilt. At the moment there was nowhere safer. They needed to stay here, out of sight, where there was no chance something could happen that could ruin their plans. Things were finally starting to come together. It was almost zero hour; this was the time they needed to show the most caution.

However, Winchesters weren’t exactly built to be still. They’d spent their whole life doing and moving. Staying in one place for a week while bad things happened, unable to do anything to stop it, was their own personal kind of hell.

Bobby knew the boys better than just about anyone and he’d predicted this from the minute they were put on lockdown. To that end, he did everything he could to keep them busy.

Dean was easy. He sent the older boy out to the yard with car after car to work on. A few stern reminders that this was Bobby’s business, a business he’d been slacking on lately to be able to help them, and it had Dean perfectly motivated to get as many cars taken care of as possible. The older hunter had no qualms about playing on Dean’s guilt to get him to do this. It kept him busy, out of trouble, and safe. For most of their week, you could find Dean tinkering on one car or another, with Castiel never too far from his side. Those two were inseparable. Even if they didn’t say anything about their newfound relationship, it wasn’t that hard to see.

Now, Sam wasn’t quite as easy as his brother. His mind had always worked too fast, and it always tended to work against him. Give him any down time and he was sure to start thinking. Right now, thinking was the last thing Bobby wanted him to do. He didn’t need anyone telling him about his boys. He knew them better than anyone. But, even if he hadn’t, a very blunt conversation with the trickster would’ve cleared that right up.

Bobby had been at his desk in the living room, watching discreetly as Ellen yet again had Sam sitting down at the table, trying to convince the boy to eat. He was too skinny by far and the stress of waiting around didn’t seem to be helping with that. Still, Ellen was doing her damndest to fatten him up. Everything about Sam was setting off every single mothering instinct the woman had.  Not that that was a bad thing. Someone needed to take care of him and sometimes Sam required a more gentle hand than the rest of them. Dean had always been good at that, but things between the boys were still a little fragile and that ease they’d once had wasn’t quite back yet.

“It’s good to see someone mothering him.” Gabriel said suddenly, startling Bobby who hadn’t even realized he was there. “He needs it.”

The older hunter looked over to see Gabriel leaning back against one of the bookcases. His body was relaxed, his whole pose casual, but there was something in his face as he looked over at Sam. Something that Bobby had noticed there time and time again, and it was one of the things that had softened the hunter towards him. Anyone who looked at Sam like that couldn’t be half bad.

Leaning back a little in his chair, Bobby turned his gaze back to the boy. “He’s too skinny.”

“He's better than he was when I found him.”

Well that wasn’t saying much. It made Bobby wince a little. Just how bad had Sam been? He couldn’t imagine things had been good. He’d been in a bad place at the time.

Gabriel let out a snort. “Yeah, bad place, that’s a good term for it.”

“Stay outta my head.”

The trickster didn’t even show signs of having heard Bobby’s demand. He ignored it completely, still watching Sam. “It took me a lot of hard work to get him out of where he’d been. It’s a battle, though. A constant one. He’s got good days and bad days still. He doesn’t actively want to die,” There was a note to his voice that clearly said ‘not anymore’, and that sent chills down Bobby’s spine. “but that dark still creeps in sometimes and makes him question. Depressions a killer. I’m amazed he’s fought it so long.”

“Depression?” It was the only word Bobby could say. He knew how much it fit. Knew how true Gabriel’s words were; and it terrified him. Absolutely terrified him.

Golden eyes rolled over towards him and they were darker than normal, with a hint of something that wasn’t angelic. “Don't give me that, old man. You're not that dumb.”

Bobby cleared his throat and picked up his glass. This was a drinking sort of conversation. “If anybody got a right to be depressed, it's him.”

“You’re telling me!” Gabriel looked back over, and Bobby was beginning to wonder if maybe he wasn’t doing something to keep them from being heard, because neither Ellen nor Sam had even looked their way yet, and he’d noticed that Sam seemed to have a radar for his partner. He’d look up seconds before Gabriel would arrive. Yet he wasn’t looking over now as Gabriel’s eyes landed on him and softened with a look that Bobby could only describe as loving. It was at odds with the slightly bitter voice that poured from his mouth. “Little Sammy’s been depressed for a long time. He's usually just good at hiding it. But he’s been fighting it in one form or another since puberty. Even got medicated for a while for it at Stanford.”

He didn’t give Bobby any time to process or react to that little bombshell. Pushing off the bookcase, Gabriel turned and pinned the older hunter in place with a sharp glare that abruptly reminded the man that this being was pretty damn powerful and not someone he wanted to piss off. “Watch out for him for me, Singer. I’ve gotta get this ritual together and I can’t be here all day. Keep an eye on him. Keep him busy. Just, take care of him for me.” With that, he’d been gone, not even a snap to show his exit.

It wasn’t the first time the boys had been dumped on him to watch. Just like every other time, Bobby picked up the load and carried it without protest or complaint. He kept Dean busy with his cars and trusted the car of his needs over to an angel he knew would do anything—who had rebelled against Heaven—just to keep Dean safe. And he kept Sam as busy as he could manage with just about anything.

Research, planning, preparation. All things that he used to keep Sam busy. They were things he needed help with anyways and Sam had always been damn good at researching and planning. He had a quick mind and an ability to see things that not a lot of others saw. It was part of what made him such a good hunter, and such a perfect hunting partner for Dean. He balanced out Dean’s rash, rush-in sort of attitude, by making sure they always had the information they needed, always had a backup plan to try and get them out of crappy situations. Bobby had heard about it, witnessed it during the actual fight of a hunt, and he’d gotten glimpses of it when they’d planned before. Nothing like this, though. Sam helped him prepare for anything they might face against while this ritual happened. He helped research protection sigils that apparently could be drawn right on the body, in marker, that would help to keep them a little safer as they defended the ‘circle’ for Gabriel while the ritual would be going down. Apparently he’d talked to his partner and Gabriel said they would help.

He also found more that they could carve onto their knives to make them pack a little more punch. Angels could only be killed by angel blade and they only had two extras, aside from the ones that Castiel and Anna held of course, and Sam seemed pretty reluctant to kill a bunch of angels. “We just need to stop them. Hold them off.” He’d told everyone one afternoon when they’d all been gathered and talking.

“They’re not exactly going to be gentle with us.” Jo had pointed out.

Sam’s gaze had flashed over to where the two angels were watching and then back to the others. “They’re just doing what they believe they have to. What they’ve been told by superiors they’ve trusted since the dawn of time, guys. Besides,” Again, his gaze had flashed briefly to the angels, “enough family has died, don’t you think?”

The gratitude that had lit up both Castiel and Anna’s faces had been enough to silence any protests.

So, they prepared, gathering up every sort of protective rune and sigil they could find, and Bobby was impressed at the ways that Sam found to incorporate them. With a battle to plan and prepare for, it seemed to bring out the best in Sam, engaging his mind and keeping him busy. During the day, at least. During the nights—that, Bobby left to someone else. Gabriel always returned by dinner, dessert at the latest, and didn’t leave again until he saw Sam seated at the breakfast table the next morning.

Everyone kept busy and time passed. It passed slowly, but passed nonetheless. Until finally, it was the day before their big ritual.

* * *

Apparently things were as prepared as they were going to be on their end. Gabriel hadn’t left at breakfast time that morning like he’d done for the past week. He’d stayed with Sam, _in_ Sam’s lap actually, and enjoyed breakfast with him. When questioned, he’d just said “Coyote can do the last part. He basically kicked me out and told me to come back tomorrow morning with you chuckleheads. I’ll finish what I need then. Otherwise, we’re set for tomorrow night.”

No one seemed to want to stray too far from the house. They all sort of stuck close, stuck together. Today was essentially their last free day. Tomorrow would be consumed with all sorts of preparations. Gabriel was taking them out first thing in the morning to the ritual site. They’d spend the day there getting as ready as possible. That meant that today—today was theirs. Today was about family. And in true fashion for them, that meant lots of food, and lots of alcohol.

Gabriel helped with that. A finger snap had the table brimming with food that never once went bad. The cold food stayed cold and the hot food stayed hot no matter how long it stayed there. Sam chuckled when he noticed that. “Handy.” He teased his partner, who was sitting on the couch with him, tucked in against his side. Though they’d gotten a look or two, no one had really protested just how touchy the two seemed to be today. Then again, as Sam looked around the room, he thought to himself that no one would’ve had any right. Dean and Castiel weren’t even pretending not to be in one another’s space. They were right up against each other almost all day. They didn’t cuddle like Sam and Gabriel did, didn’t hold hands or exchange kisses or any of those things, but they stood with one another in a way that still managed to show an intimacy that hadn’t been there before. Bobby and Ellen seemed to be in on this, too, exchanging a private touch of the hands here and there, a soft brush of fingers through hair, or a touch that lingered just a little longer than normal on arm or wrist. They probably thought they were being subtle.

The biggest surprise for Sam was the way that Jo watched Anna. Or, how Anna watched her back.

Tipping back against Sam’s chest, Gabriel turned his head enough to nuzzle Sam’s neck, murmuring against his skin. “Ten bucks says they bang tonight.”

It took a lot of control not to bust out laughing at that. Eyeing the two, Sam had to admit that the archangel was probably right. This newfound sense of what Gabriel insisted was a touch of empathy was picking up on a definite heat between them. Then again, maybe it wasn’t some power that noticed it, but just the fact that he had _eyes_. They gravitated towards one another in a way that seemed almost unconscious.

Sam hid his smile against Gabriel’s hair. “They keep it up, they won’t make it to tonight.”

“Mm. You might be right.”

Anything further they might’ve said was interrupted then. Something tugged at the edge of Sam’s mind that drew his attention away from the conversation. He and Gabriel both jerked their heads up at the same exact time. A split second later, all noise in the living cut off as Jesse appeared in front of Sam and Gabriel. His eyes shot right to Sam. “Sam!”

Immediately Bobby and Dean were moving, Dean grabbing for the gun at his back while Bobby snatched up a nearby shotgun. Ellen and Jo were twisting as well, but neither reached for their weapons. It was Castiel and Anna whose reactions mattered the most, though. Both of them spun and both had their angel blades in their hands.

In a flash, Gabriel and Sam were both off the couch. The archangel thrust himself forward at the same time that he shoved Jesse back towards Sam. He threw his hands up and Sam was willing to bet that he also threw up something as well, some kind of shield that no one could see. “Wait a second! Just wait!”

“Who the hell is that?” Bobby demanded, shotgun held at the ready. “My place is warded against anything gettin’ in!”

But Dean had seen who it was and realization hit his face. He lowered his gun down and then actually reached out to lower Bobby’s gun as well. “He’s safe. It’s that kid I told you about. Remember? He’s safe, Bobby.”

“Safe isn’t the word I’d use.” Anna said lowly. However, neither she nor Castiel seemed willing to challenge Gabriel to get to the boy. Smart choice there.

“The cambion?” Bobby asked. “How’d he get past my wards?”

Sam was grateful he was at least discreet enough to use that term instead of any of the others. Cambion was the least offensive sounding.

“He’s not a full demon. You’re not warded against him.” Gabriel said plainly.

For the most part, Sam zoned out that conversation. Gabriel was right there and he trusted his lover to have his back and keep them safe. His focus was primarily on the boy beside him who looked furious and terrified in equal measure. Something told Sam it wasn’t the reaction here that had made the kid feel that way. Slowly, making sure that Jesse could see what he was doing and stop him if he wanted, Sam reached out. When Jesse didn’t stop him, he settled his hand on the kid’s shoulder. “Jesse? Are you all right?” He ran his eyes over him a quick assessment. “Are you hurt?”

“No.” Jesse answered. There was a tremor to his voice that made Sam’s stomach clench and only made his worry worse. “I just, I mean I need…can, ah, can we talk?”

Talk? Surprise had Sam’s eyebrows going up almost to his hairline. Jesse appeared in the middle of the living room here—and how on earth had he known where to find Sam without ever having been here before?—because he wanted to _talk_? That was why they had each other’s phone numbers. They talked pretty much every day on the phone, or at least exchanged texts. Whatever had made him want to teleport himself here, or whatever it was called when a demon traveled, it had to be big.

Gabriel must’ve picked up on whatever it was because he made a soft ‘ah’ sound before turning and reaching out to touch Sam’s shoulder. There was something sad in his eyes and when he spoke, it was with that gentle tone that was so rare from him. “Go on, kiddo, take him out to the porch. Let me handle everyone else. He needs you for this one.”

Nodding at Gabriel, Sam turned his attention back to the boy and squeezed his shoulder. Then he led Jesse around everyone and out towards the porch, not surprised when Dog fell in step beside him.

The trio made their way outside. Sam could’ve stopped them on the porch but something in Jesse’s body language told him that the kid needed to move. That was fine. They could walk. So long as they stayed on the property, they were fine. He led Jesse off into the rows of cars that Sam had walked countless times in his life. It was quiet out here, and oddly soothing. Sam let that quite wrap around them while they walked and he just waited for Jesse to speak. With the way the boy was vibrating beside him, it wouldn’t take long.

Sure enough, they’d only been walking for a few minutes when Jesse broke the quiet. “I’m sorry I interrupted you guys.”

“It’s fine.” Sam reassured him in an easy voice. He slipped his hands into his pockets and kept walking, only briefly looking down at his companion and catching his eye just long enough to smile at him. “I told you that you could call on me when you needed me.”

“I, I should’ve called first.” The kid drew in a little more on himself and he crossed his arms over his chest. His gaze dropped once more down to the ground. “I didn’t think about it. I just, I panicked and I just wanted to come see you.”

There was a part of Sam’s heart that warmed a little at that last bit. Jesse had managed to worm his way into both Sam and Gabriel’s hearts almost from the instant they’d met him. The feeling had only gotten stronger as time went on. “You can always come find me when you need me.” Pausing, he snuck another look at the kid, marveling at the inches he’d gained since they’d last seen him. The kid was sprouting up. “Do you…do you think you can tell me what’s going on? What had you panicking?”

Jesse didn’t answer right away. They walked for a few more minutes in quiet and Sam didn’t bother disturbing it. He let Jesse have the time to gather together his thoughts and figure out what he wanted to say. Eventually, the kid spoke up again, though his voice was low enough that Sam had to strain a little to hear it. “I was practicing how to make things appear when I want them to, not just on accident and…and my eyes turned black.”

Inside, Sam froze. Oh. _Oh_. No wonder the kid had come to him. He fought back the urge to wince and tried to keep his expression as neutral as possible. Any signs of him being upset or bothered by this might send Jesse running and that was the last thing they needed.

“I saw it.” Jesse said, his voice getting a little stronger with each word. “I looked up and saw it in the water and I freaked out. That’s what _demons_ look like! And Kayla, she just…” The boy stopped, growling a little in frustration. “She said it wasn’t the first time. It happened before and she didn’t _tell me_. She just kept saying me that it was no big deal, she’d kinda figured it would happen, but it _is_ a big deal! I mean, that’s not normal, right? Normal people don’t do that?” Jesse spun back towards him, his expression terrified and devastated, breaking Sam’s heart a little.

“It is a big deal.” Sam agreed with him gently. He wasn’t going to lie to him. It was a huge deal, coming from their perspective. There was no way around that. But it wasn’t the devastating thing that Jesse saw it as. Nor was it the casual thing that Kayla apparently tried to play it off as. Gathering his breath and his courage, Sam hoped he could find the right words here. Any words to make this easier. “It doesn’t mean anything about _you_ , though. It doesn’t make you bad, Jesse.”

“But, Sam!”

“No.” He held out a hand and shook his head. Then he drew his hand in and gestured to himself. “You don’t think I’m evil, do you?”

Any other situation, with almost anyone else, and Sam wouldn’t have asked that question. He wouldn’t have wanted to know the answer. But he knew how Jesse would answer it. The boy’s eyes went wide and he quickly shook his head. “No!”

“My eyes went black before when I pushed my powers really, really hard. It scared the crap outta me.”

“It did?”

“Well, sure. Freaked me out, freaked out my brother—it wasn’t pretty.” That was an understatement. It was something that still haunted Sam sometimes. He lived with that fear, with that nightmare image of himself with black eyes. Sam shrugged one shoulder as he moved to lean against the hood of a nearby Chevy truck. “It took me a long time, and a lot of talking with Gabe, before I realized that it didn’t really change anything.” He didn’t hesitate to use Gabriel’s name; not long after the truth had come out to them, Gabriel had shared the truth with the boy. He’d told Sam it was important to him to do it and Sam hadn’t questioned it.

Jesse looked at him cautiously and just a bit curiously. He moved forward, coming to rest against the front of the truck just beside Sam. “It didn’t?”

“Nope. My eyes changing didn’t make me evil, Jesse, and it doesn’t make you evil either. It’s a byproduct of the demon blood, yes, and I know just how terrifying it is. But it’s just the blood reacting in our bodies. The blood and the power. Just like Gabe’s eyes glow all bright when he uses his angel powers, or how they glow dark when he uses the pagan powers. Yours just happen to turn really dark when you use your powers. It’s not a sign of evil; it’s just the power in you showing through. What you were doing at the time, it wasn’t evil, was it?”

“No. I was just trying to make the book Kayla wanted and I was trying really hard to make sure I got it with all the words inside instead of just empty pages.”

A smile curved Sam’s lips. Nice training exercise. “Was it an evil book? Some demonic spell book or something?”

Jesse actually looked a little offended. “No! It was the Hobbit!”

“Then why on earth would you think you were evil in that moment just because your eyes changed? You were making a book—a good book choice, by the way. There’s nothing evil about that. You weren’t doing it to cause harm, or to bring up anything bad. You were just concentrating really hard, from the sounds of it, and pushing your powers, so your body reacted. But you weren’t doing evil things, you weren’t thinking evil things. So why should your eyes changing be some indication of evil?”

“But…” It was obvious the boy wanted to cling to his words. To take the hope there. He was just, scared. He was a kid and he was scared. “I just…that’s what demons look like, Sam, and I don’t…I’m not a demon.”

The ache in those last words was almost too much for Sam. He lifted an arm and wrapped it around Jesse’s shoulders and the kid leaned in to the embrace. “No, you’re not. You’re not a demon, Jesse. You’re a good kid. Don’t let anyone or anything convince you otherwise.”

* * *

The two stayed outside together for a while. Eventually, Jesse relaxed enough that Sam felt safe in asking about his studies, about how everything else was going. By the time Gabriel came to find them, they were both laughing so hard they were barely managing to stand up. Jesse had been telling him about a prank he’d played on Kayla and Sam couldn’t help but approve a little. It was funny! The minute they saw Gabriel, and saw who was with him, they cut off their laughter. Sam smothered his behind a cough that didn’t fool anyone and he watched as Gabriel came towards him—with Dean beside him.

Jesse pressed in just the slightest bit closer to Sam’s side when he saw Dean. The last time the two had met hadn’t exactly gone well and it was obvious Jesse remembered that. It was obvious Dean did too. He saw Jesse’s move and flinched just the slightest bit. But it was quickly covered over a smirk. “Do I even wanna know what you two are over here cackling at?” He teased them.

Sam smirked and dropped his arm around Jesse’s shoulders once more in a move meant to comfort the kid and to help him relax. “Sorry, can’t tell. Super-Secret Monster Club business.”

His words brought more than one flash of surprise. Gabriel, however, didn’t look surprised at all. He grinned and moved right up to Sam’s free side. “Ooooh, did I miss anything?” He asked, winking at Jesse while pressing himself up against Sam’s side, under his arm.

The kid looked a bit unsure, but he was relaxing underneath their strange brand of teasing, and Dean looked torn between amused and uncomfortable. Sam just grinned. Spending so much time with a trickster really _was_ rubbing off on him. He was learning how to be more amused and less angry with life in general. That definitely wasn’t something he was going to complain about.

Tipping his head, he pressed a kiss to Gabriel’s hair. “Just building plans. We’ll tell you later, when the Angel Club dude isn’t around.” He jerked his thumb towards Dean, who mock-scowled at him. The older Winchester rolled his eyes and fell into the banter that had always been so easy for them. “Bite me, Princess. You know we’re way cooler than your club could ever be.”

“Pffft!” Gabriel rolled his eyes so far up it was a wonder he wasn’t staring at his brain while he did it. “You wish you were cool enough to join us!”

The boy against Sam’s side watched all of this and relaxed more and more as they went on. At Gabriel’s words, he finally shook his head and leaned forward just enough to ask “Aren’t you technically part of the Angel Club too?”

Gabriel held a finger up in front of his lips. “Shhh!” He winked at Jesse and stage whispered “I’m a secret double agent.”

“Super-Secret Agent Loki-slash-Gabriel.” Sam said with a smirk and a nod.

The kid finally lost it, laughter tumbling past his lips. “You guys are so weird.”

“Ah, but we’re fun!” Gabriel said.

Dean was the one to shake his head this time. It warmed Sam to see that his brother was smiling a little, though. It gave him a bit of hope. If things went well tomorrow night, maybe there was a chance that he and his brother could really get things worked out. That things might really be okay. This, what they had right here, was worth fighting for. It was worth doing everything they had to make sure they all came home tomorrow. This little family that Sam had here, one that he and Dean had made, was worth everything. And he was going to do his damndest to keep it.

* * *

Dean and Gabriel had come out to let them know that dinner was ready. Unsurprisingly, Jesse wasn’t entirely comfortable with going in there, and none of them really blamed him. Gabriel volunteered to take him back home and, though Sam didn’t like the idea of being away from his mate, he nodded his understanding. He knew Gabriel wanted to talk to Kayla and to Jesse both and make sure they were prepared and safe. If things went south tomorrow night, he wanted to make sure they were all taken care of. Sam gave Jesse a hug before he left, which the boy allowed, and then they were gone.

He didn’t see Gabriel again until after dinner was done. Sam was once more back outside, Dog with him again. He’d brought the terrier out for a nightly walk while everyone else was inside drinking and talking. The after dinner drinks had turned into more of an after dinner party and Sam had been able to see the others slowly pairing off. It wouldn’t take most of them long, he knew, before they’d start separating. That was fine. He took Dog and headed outside to wait for the return of his own partner.

Thoughts of what was waiting for them tomorrow kept trying to slip in and Sam fought them back. Worrying would do him no good. It wouldn’t do anything but make the time left feel even worse. He wasn’t going to do that to himself. Gabriel had taught him not to do that to himself. He was going to relax and enjoy what he had left, no matter what was waiting for him in the future.

As he rounded the corner on his little walk he saw something just up ahead that brought an almost immediate smile to his lips. There, just a few feet ahead in the back of one of the many broken down trucks here, was Gabriel. He was in the truck bed with the tailgate open and even from a distance Sam could see the tons of blankets that filled the bed. Gabriel was stretched out on top of them in just jeans and a t-shirt, his jacket gone somewhere. His hands were folded behind his head and he was staring up towards the sky. Without looking over at Sam, he called out “Hey Samshine. Care for a little stargazing?”

Sam’s grin was wide as he made his way over. He didn’t even hesitate to step out of his shoes right by the tailgate and climb right up into the nest that Gabriel had made. The blankets were extremely soft and comfortable. Sam easily melted down into them as he stretched himself out at Gabriel’s side. If the truck bed was a little bigger than it really should be, well, that didn’t really matter. “Stargazing?” He asked, settling himself so that he was on his side instead of on his back, his head propped up on his hand, enabling him to look down at Gabriel’s face. “I would’ve figured you’d go all out for yourself tonight. Penthouse, maybe, with all those creature comforts you enjoy so much.”

The smile that curved Gabriel’s lips was warm and lazy. He slanted an amused look at the hunter. “Would _you_ be comfortable there?”

Sam shrugged one shoulder, but they both knew the answer. No, he wouldn’t. Things like that weren’t his style.

“Exactly.” Gabriel’s eyes went back to the sky. “Besides, I’m an archangel, Samshine. One who was made to enjoy Dad’s beauty in things. And I made myself into a pagan; they’re connected to nature in a lot of ways. This? This is perfect.”

Huh. He hadn’t thought of it like that.

It did feel pretty perfect to settle himself down on his back at Gabriel’s side. Their fingers laced together and the two just lay there, staring up at the sky. There were so many things that they could’ve said to one another. Promises and declarations that could’ve been made. This might very well be their last night together and they were both painfully aware of that. Sam held on to the being who had become so damn important to him and he marveled at how far they’d come from that motel room where ‘Loki’ had come for him. Or, hell, how far they’d come from everything else, from Broward County, from that college where they’d first met. He wouldn’t change a moment of it, though. Not if it meant not being _here_. Not having _this_.

All of those things floated around in Sam’s head and he didn’t have to say them out loud. Gabriel heard them all.

The archangel rolled himself over and Sam suddenly found himself blanketed by his mate’s weight. The familiarity and comfort of it only relaxed him even more. He let his hands curl loosely over Gabriel’s hips while Gabriel bracketed Sam’s head with his arms. There was a heat in his eyes that Sam recognized and his blood heated a little even as he murmured “We’re at Bobby’s place, Gabe.”

“We’re in the dark.”

A small flush built in Sam’s cheeks. He didn’t really want to protest and they both knew it. But he still felt compelled to point out “I don’t need Dean or Bobby coming to find us.”

There was a brief pause where Gabriel closed his eyes and simply lay there. Then he opened them again and that heated look of molten gold held Sam froze. “There. Cas said he’d keep them away, and I’ve got us shielded so even if they _did_ look, they wouldn’t see anything.” Bending, he brushed his lips ever so slightly against Sam’s. “Let me have you here, Samshine. Under the stars. Just you and me and nothing else until tomorrow.”

A shiver ran down Sam’s body and it definitely wasn’t from the cold. His hands clenched on Gabriel’s hips and he tipped his head just enough to brush his lips over Gabriel’s in a soft whisper of a kiss. “Yes,” he breathed out, whispering the one word he would never say to another angel, giving it to the one who already owned him in every single way possible and who he trusted with every inch of him. “Yes.”

The light from the stars had nothing on the fire in Gabriel’s eyes. His angel bent and pressed their lips together and Sam gave himself over. There, under the stars, they used their bodies to say everything their mouths couldn’t, giving and taking with a level of intimacy that went beyond anything either one had ever felt before. And when they were done, when their bodies were shuddering and the sweat was cooling on their skin, they wrapped up in one another once more and lay together, saying nothing. Nothing else needed to be said.


	22. Chapter 22

The next morning found everyone rather quiet. They all knew what was coming, what this day and night would bring, and that knowledge hung over them all. No one said much at breakfast. For once, Gabriel didn’t even try to force Sam to eat. He just sat there at his side and loosely held his hand. The two had barely let go of one another since they’d risen out of the truck bed this morning and made their way inside. Gabriel had showered with him, which was always pleasant, and he’d stayed with Sam every moment. It wasn’t like they were the only two doing it, though. Dean and Castiel were so close they might as well have been sitting in the same chair. Ellen and Bobby sort of gravitated towards one another. Even Jo was leaning in towards Anna, who kept brushing her fingers against Jo’s arm in an almost absent way.

For now, they were all quiet, all lost in their thoughts and in each other. It would change, Sam knew, as soon as they arrived wherever Gabriel was taking them. This here was just the calm before the storm. Once they got there, they’d get to work, doing whatever they could to help prepare, arming themselves for what was to come, and from what Gabriel said, they’d be meeting with a few allies, too. Once they got there, they’d get into that war mindset. For now, here, they were just a small, mish-mashed family, holding on to one another and hoping for the best.

Eventually, though, their quiet was broken. There was only so long they could put things off. Once breakfast was done, the dishes cleaned and things put away, they all gathered together in the living room with all that they’d need and Gabriel flew them all away.

They landed somewhere outside. Sam’s feet touched ground and he was already looking around him to take in his surroundings. Behind him, he heard Dean stumbling a little, heard the low curse as his brother righted himself. But Sam’s eyes were traveling around him in an effort to try and figure out where they were. It was very obviously a forest, but up ahead of them was a large, two story cabin, which Dog immediately took off towards.

Gabriel leaned in against the hunter’s side. “One of my many hideouts. There’s not a soul around for miles and miles.”

“Perfect place for a ritual like this, then.” Sam said.

He felt Gabriel nod against his shoulder. “Exactly.” One of his hands came up and ruffled Sam’s hair. “Knew you were the smart one, kiddo.”

Laughter rang in the air as Sam took a swipe at him and Gabriel dodged backwards. The trickster grinned at him and jogged backwards, heading in the direction of the house. “C’mon, folks! Time to go and meet your allies. We’ve got introductions to make and prep work to start!”

“Why am I suddenly a bit nervous?” Jo asked, watching as Gabriel turned and jogged towards the house.

Dean scoffed. “Cause you’ve got a brain in your head. What I wanna know is why the hell he didn’t just zap us right in the house? Why make us run up the yard?”

“The wards I feel suggest that flying in and out of that house is impossible.” Castiel said. He moved up to walk at Dean’s side, so close their arms were brushing.

“I’m more worried about these ‘allies’.” Bobby threw out gruffly. “Anyone know who they are?”

All of their grumbles and worries were making Sam roll his eyes. He was saved from having to make any sort of comment, though, which was good because he doubted his would’ve been all that polite. Before he could speak up, Ellen did, firmly telling them “Why don’t we spend less time out here complaining and try actually going inside and finding out what’s going on?” That said, she marched past the others, right up to Sam’s side, and walked with him towards the house. Sam fought to hide his smirk as he heard the others start to scramble after them. Even Bobby, who Sam hadn’t ever really seen anyone boss around, knew better than to push Ellen. She was a mother, one who’d run a bar for hunters for _years_. She knew how to hold her own.

When they reached the house, there was something in the air, something that brushed over that part of Sam that had grown stronger since the bonding ritual. It left him feeling just slightly nervous.

Cowardly though it may be, he held the door open, letting the others go in first. He knew there was no real threat inside. Gabriel was in there and there was no way that the archangel would let them walk into any sort of trap. If there were trouble, he would’ve told Sam. Telepathic conversations came in handy. But he’d said nothing, so Sam knew it had to be safe in there. Yet he still hung back and let the others in first, slipping in at the back of the crowd.

The cabin was large, and beautiful on the inside. Sam let his eyes travel around and take in a few things. This place seemed almost like a mix of his and Gabriel’s tastes. High quality things, because Gabriel liked to have the best, but styled or colored in what was almost a ‘country’ sort of way. It all fit with the whole ‘cabin in the woods’ setting, which Sam never really would’ve pictured Gabriel being comfortable in, and yet he could easily see his trickster stretched out on that long couch over there, or curled up in one of those chairs near the fireplace…His admiration for the place was cut off when he caught sight of who was standing near the fireplace. One look and he knew, even without being told—angels.

That was confirmed a second later by Castiel, who sounded stunned as he said “Inias. Hester.”

One was a man and one a woman, both dark haired, both in suits. They carried the same bearing, too, standing straight and at attention like soldiers.

“You know them?” Dean asked sharply. His distrust for angels was so easy to see. Not that it was unjustified. Angels hadn’t exactly been kind to the Winchester brothers.

Castiel’s eyes stayed on the two angels. “They were in my garrison. Two that I trusted most.”

The two shifted ever so slightly. Sam could actually see it as they stood a little taller from Castiel’s words. Abruptly he was reminded that Castiel hadn’t been just a simple soldier. He’d been in charge of his own garrison, according to him. He had led other angels. Now…now he was reduced to this. To an angel who would’ve been Falling if not for their archangel-in-hiding over here. An angel who had lost almost everything, who couldn’t even go back home. They forgot that sometimes. Forgot that it wasn’t just them that had paid the price for this war. It had affected so many others. Taken so much from _everyone_.

Something soft brushed against the back of Sam’s neck. Then it slid down, curling around his shoulder, and he felt a small prickle of power against his skin where it touched him, little sparks of grace. Gabriel curled the invisible wing around Sam in a gesture that was meant to comfort him and help pull him out of his thoughts. Then, before Sam could say or do anything, the wing yanked him in and Sam was tumbling down onto the overstuffed chair where Gabriel was perched. He ended up half on his lover, half off, one of his legs up over the armrest and the other dangling down to the ground. He braced one hand on Gabriel’s chest and pushed himself up enough to glare down at him. “Do you mind?”

Stupid question to ask, really. Gabriel’s grin grew wider. “Not at all.”

Sam rolled his eyes and pushed upright. However, Gabriel’s hold on him kept him from going too far. He finally had to settle for squishing himself in next to the trickster in this big chair. Gabriel helped out by shifting just enough that he could move onto his hip and curl up against Sam’s side. He even yanked one of Sam’s arms around his shoulders so he could snuggle in better. Sam’s cheeks heated with his blush as he saw everyone staring at them. His friends and family were looking at them with expressions that all seemed to carry varying degrees of humor in them, though Dean and Bobby both gave him exasperated looks as well that had Sam wanting to demand what they thought he was supposed to do to stop Gabriel from acting this way. Let them get yanked around by an archangel/trickster and see how well _they_ managed it!

It was the looks of the other angels that really threw him, though. Anna and Castiel had been shocked when they’d seen Sam after the bonding ritual. Zachariah had been stunned and a bit disgusted. These two? They were shocked as well, but there was something else there, something that made Sam shift uncomfortably against his lover. They were looking at Gabriel with awe that he thought was befitting for an angel gazing at an archangel—Anna and Castiel had both had the same sort of look more than once around Gabriel, which told Sam it must just be an angel thing when confronted with an archangel—but he wasn’t used to that look seeming to include him.

_You’re the mate of an archangel, Samshine._ Gabriel sent to him, pressing in impossibly closer. _If the whole apocalypse thing wasn’t a factor, they’d question me doing this with a human, they’d worry about me, but they’d celebrate us. You’d be one of the most protected humans on the planet because no one would be dumb enough to mess with an archangel’s mate._

“Good of you to warn me about that ahead of time.” Sam grumbled lowly.

Gabriel tipped his head and winked at him. “You love me.”

“We all have our cross to bear.”

Sam wasn’t sure what was funnier—the way that Gabriel snorted and grinned at the same time, or the scandalized looks that Inias and Hester sent his way. Their looks seemed to delight Gabriel even more.

Luckily, they were all saved from whatever Gabriel would’ve said and done next by Bobby speaking up before anyone else could. “All right, all right, enough playin’ around. These two are here to help?”

“Yep.” Gabriel made sure to pop the ‘p’ at the end.

“We’ve heard Gabriel’s plan, and it is a good one.” Hester said, speaking up for the first time.

Bobby looked over at her briefly and then back to Gabriel. “You gonna finally tell us what exactly they’re gonna be doing?”

The sigh that Gabriel let out was so utterly put upon. He acted like they were asking just _so much_ of him and Sam wanted to roll his eyes at the dramatics of it. He gave a telekinetic pinch to Gabriel’s hip and smirked at the surprised jump it earned him. Sharp eyes snapped up to him and he probably shouldn’t find that glower as cute as he did. His humor must’ve been easy for Gabriel to feel. The glower faded away to rolled eyes and amused exasperation. “I’ve created a monster with you. What happened to the emo, angst ridden Sammy who used to mope around and whine about all the ways he’d screwed up?”

Sam ignored the way that Jo tensed at that, or how Dean turned slightly defensive at Gabriel’s blunt words. He just shrugged his shoulder and tucked his arm a little more firmly around his partner. “Some snarky little trickster came along and annoyed it all right out of me. Now, are you going to actually answer Bobby’s question, or are we going to keep playing like you _aren’t_ trying to weasel out of giving out answers?”

“You’re lippy today.”

“You like it.”

“Immensely.” Gabriel said, flashing a smirk. Just like that, he was all smiles again, dropping his head back down to rest against Sam once more while he looked out to the others. “I told you guys before, we’ve got to perform a ritual. The vessels are all ready to go, the clearing I need is set up with the altars to hold the vessels on. All those protection and containment things we’ve been looking up to keep things from getting in, we’re gonna lay those out today, making the center as safe as possible. Then, we’re gonna create _another_ protection spell, using my brothers and sisters here as guardians to make sure that nothing gets _out_.”

“And what are we gonna be doing?” Dean asked.

“Defense.” Gabriel said. Sam had to give him credit for not snapping the word, because really, this wasn’t the first time they’d discussed this part of things at least. Dean knew what they were going to be doing. Gabriel had said that right from the start. That was the whole reason they’d been looking up all those sigils to put on their weapons, why they’d been preparing themselves to fight. Dean knew this.

“Who are we defending?” Ellen asked him. “You, or the angels?”

A look that was sort of proud lit up Gabriel’s face, like she was a student who had just asked the teacher the perfect question, the one no one else had thought to ask. “Both.” He told her cheerfully. “But mostly my siblings. Nothing’s gonna be able to get in past them without taking one of them out, so you keep them safe, you keep everything else safe.”

Jo, apparently tired of just standing around, dropped down onto the couch. “Do we get any other backup?”

“Nope.” With one hand, Gabriel gestured around the room. “We’re all we got, sweet cheeks.”

She snorted at the nickname but didn’t protest it.

Dean dropped down to sit by Jo, tugging Castiel down with him. “I thought your pagan buddies were helping you out.” He pointed out gruffly. “You mean they aren’t gonna stick around and help with the actual big fight?”

“Do you really think I wanna depower my brothers and shove them in human vessels with a group of pagans standing nearby?” Gabriel asked, raising his eyebrows in a look that clearly showed just how stupid he thought Dean was being. “This is a huge ritual. If any of them were there, there’s a chance they could interfere, could try and change things. I’m not risking my brothers on that.”

“I thought these guys were like your other family.” Dean snarked.

Gabriel huffed and shook his head. “Doesn’t mean they won’t seize an opportunity to take out a couple archangels and guarantee the end of the apocalypse.” He waved a hand in the air in a negligent gesture. “Besides, we got it covered. You guys maintain the protection and I’ll do the ritual to call my bros down, force them into their new bodies. Once they’re there, I start the next ritual and yank out their graces.”

He made it all sound so simple. Like it was just boom, boom, boom, and they were done. Everything about him showed how casual he was. Only Sam could see past that. He could feel the bit of tension in his lover’s body. Could see the mask that covered his face. Gabriel was just as worried as the rest of them; he just wasn’t letting it show. All of it was hidden underneath a playful mask that, a few months ago, might’ve fooled Sam as well. However, he knew better now. Just as he also knew better than to openly call him on it in front of everyone. All he could do was tighten his arm around Gabriel and hope that he could feel Sam’s love and support. The warm feeling that bloomed in his chest told him that, yes, he could.

Leaning against the arm of the couch, Bobby fixed him with a look that was both sharp and just a hint suspicious. “This whole ritual thing seems huge. If it’s so complicated, how’d you manage to do it for you?”

“Two totally different things.” Gabriel insisted. “ _One_ , all Coyote and I did for me was make a vessel for me to _willingly_ inhabit. _Two_ , my grace wasn’t ripped out, either. I’ve still got it.” Tipping his head, he smirked up at Sam and winked. “Aint that right, Samsquatch?”

The purred words had Sam rolling his eyes. He pushed away the hand that came up to stroke over his chest. “Shut up.” When that earned him a snicker, he tilted his head and scowled down at him. “I’m sure I can find a stake around here somewhere.”

“Won’t hurt me.” Gabriel said in a sing-song voice.

“I’ll coat it in holy oil first.”

Inias, Hester, and even Anna all looked stunned by Sam’s words. The only angels that didn’t were Castiel and Gabriel. Castiel didn’t really pay them any attention, having grown used to their bickering, but Gabriel was grinning even more at him now. “Ooo, getting creative, are we? The oil itself doesn’t hurt me, kiddo.”

“No, it doesn’t.” Sam agreed in the sweetest voice possible. “But it might be funny to watch you shy away from fire for a while.”

The archangel threw back his head and laughed. The sound was warm and bright and brought more than a few smiles to the faces around him.

A quick kiss was pressed against his lips before Gabriel popped up out of the chair. “All right!” He called out, clapping his hands. “Enough talking. Let’s get this show on the road!”

* * *

Preparing for the ritual really was easy. It was just long and time consuming. Some of the markings they put down had to be placed at certain times, so many minutes after the last part. Other parts of it just required painstaking detail. Gabriel, Sam, Inias, Anna and Jo spent most of the day putting those symbols up and slowly creating one of the most protected spaces in the world. While they did that, Bobby, Ellen, Dean, Castiel, and Hester—who was surprisingly good when it came to battle preparations, Dean thought—stayed inside and planned out the fighting part of things.

Hester, Bobby and Ellen planned out which humans were going to be with which angels, to help act as defense. Since the four angels would be covering four spots, and there were five humans, it wasn’t hard to assign it out. Jo would be with Anna, Ellen with Hester, Dean with Castiel, and Bobby with Inias.

“What about Sam?” Dean pointed out. Sam hadn’t been listed in those assignments at all.

Bobby cast a look at the angels that was just slightly guarded before he straightened himself up a little and turned back to Dean. “Your brother’s gonna be the backup’s backup. He’s fast, an he’s got those powers his boyfriend’s been teaching him Against demons, he’s gonna be our best bet.”

Oh. It was kind of obvious when Bobby put it like that, but that didn’t mean that Dean had to like it. He wanted to stand and defend Cas, he did, and help his own partner out, but he’d always fought at his brother’s side, always had his back. Thinking of Sam circling them all playing backup for everyone seemed so damn dangerous to him. Who would be out there guarding Sam’s back? Especially since Gabriel would be at the center of this whole shit pile.

A firm hand clapped on Dean’s shoulder and snapped him out of his thoughts. “He’ll be fine, boy.”

Yeah, well, they’d just see about that. Dean would just make sure to keep an extra eye on things tonight. Trusting Sam to handle this was all well and good, but predicting demons an angels was impossible, and there was no telling how they’d act if they saw Sam dancing around fighting. He wasn’t going to lose his baby brother because a group of dickbags decided to gang up on him and there was no one there to watch his back. A look shared with Cas told him his angel had either heard his thoughts, which was a little disturbing, or he just knew him that well. He nodded at Dean in silent agreement. When no one was looking, he slipped close to Dean, brushing his fingers lightly over the small of Dean’s back in a private gesture that sent shivers down the hunter’s spine, bringing back memories of last night. Memories that Dean would secretly cherish for a long time. “Don’t worry.” Castiel murmured lowly, his voice pitched for Dean alone. “We’ll protect our family.”

Though they came out slightly awkward, like Castiel wasn’t sure he had the right to say it, Dean thought he hadn’t ever heard any words better than those. _Our family._

* * *

“Why do these things always have to start on a dark and creepy night?” Dean grumbled.

Sam couldn’t argue his brother’s words. They were at the site that Gabriel had chosen for the ritual, in a clearing a safe distance from the cabin, and it really was a dark and creepy night. The clearing was open, empty of any rocks or stumps or anything that might get in the way, and it was ringed in an almost perfect circle by trees. Sam knew it was probably just his imagination but the forest seemed just a bit darker and a bit more sinister than normal. Then again, that might have something to do with what was _in_ the clearing. At the center were two stone altars on which the vessels that Gabriel and Coyote had made were lying. They were the center, the focal point for the whole ritual, and every protective symbol had been drawn outwards from there. Layer after layer of protection and containment sigils all meant to keep the magic _inside_ and to protect those that were inside.

Right between the two altars stood Gabriel. It was kind of hard for Sam to look anywhere else but at his mate. The archangel was letting go of the usual restraints he put on himself and he was letting out the side of him that never failed to send shivers down Sam’s spine. He looked good in Sam’s eyes, dressed only in a pair of dark pants with his ceremonial knife hanging at his side, his feet bare underneath him and his shirt gone. His hair wasn’t slicked back like normal but instead blew loose and free around his face. His eyes were darker than normal with a hint of his pagan power. Everything about him seemed to draw towards that side, yet still showed the power of the archangel as well. The way he carried himself, the confidence and ease in every move he made, all of it was showing tonight. Whether it was Gabriel himself, or something of the powers in him that had seemingly gotten stronger with his bonding, Sam wasn’t sure, but he swore he could almost see the arc of giant wings behind Gabriel as he moved here and there.

The other angels, however, looked immensely uncomfortable seeing this side of him. One angel stood at each ‘corner’ of their clearing, marking North, South, East and West. Sam could see them all casting occasional worried glances Gabriel’s direction. They weren’t the only ones, either. The hunters were as well. Bobby, Ellen, Jo, even Dean. Only Sam watched him without worry.

“Dude.” Dean grumbled from beside him, snapping Sam’s attention away from his lover and back to his brother. He turned to find Dean glaring at him. “Put your eyes back in your head and wipe away the drool, man. It’s gross.”

Sam could’ve taken offense, or he could’ve tried to deny it or even ignored his brother’s remark. Instead, he lifted one eyebrow in a look that he didn’t even realize he’d picked up from his lover and a small smirk curved his lips. “You’re telling me you don’t find it the least bit hot when Cas turns all ‘warrior of God’?”

Oh, yeah, it was totally worth it to watch his brother stammer and splutter. “That’s, that’s different!”

“Why? Cause Gabe’s more powerful? Or because _Loki_ is?” Sam’s smile grew and he looked back over at Gabriel, who was busy painting the last of the symbols over the vessel for Michael. “We’ve all got our dark parts, Dean. I’ve learned to accept mine, to accept that part of myself. Maybe you should learn to do the same.” With that little bit of advice, he strolled away from his brother and towards his lover.

When he reached Gabriel, the trickster didn’t look up from what he was doing, but Sam felt the brush of something against his back and he couldn’t help but smile.

Finishing the symbol he was working on, Gabriel turned just enough to flash an amused look Sam’s way. “I think any progress I’ve made with your brother is going out the window.”

Sam chuckled at that. “He’ll get over it.”

“Mm. You guys all ready?”

“As ready as we’ll ever be. Everyone’s in place, at least.”

Nodding, Gabriel did a check of his own, making sure everyone was in place. There was a hunter covering the points between each angel. Only the angels needed to stay in place. They each had their own area, a circle in which they had to stand and couldn’t leave.

While he checked those over, Sam looked once more at the vessels. They were a bit of a surprise to see when Gabriel had brought them out here earlier. They were teenagers, as had been decided before. Sam guessed they were somewhere around fifteen, maybe. Somewhere in that window. Young enough that they still had a bit of growing to do. To be ornery, or at least that was Sam’s reasoning, Gabriel had made them both the same age. “That way they start out on even footing.” He’d explained. Honestly, they almost looked like they could’ve been twins. Both slender, with dark hair and, according to Gabriel, green eyes. There was something of the Winchesters in their features, too. That was apparently a byproduct of Winchester blood being used in their creation. They’d certainly look like family.

“In a sense, they are.” Gabriel murmured, pressing himself briefly up against Sam’s side. “With your blood in them, it’ll make them kind of like, I don’t know, cousins? Half-brothers? Something like that.”

Half-brothers. Sam kind of liked the sound of that. “They’ll be family. Yours or mine, it doesn’t really matter. They’re family.”

That earned him a hard and fast kiss that set his insides blazing and stole his breath away. When Gabriel pulled back, the two took just a moment to look at each other, countless things passing silently between them in that moment. There wasn’t anything that really needed saying out loud. Everything that could be said, they’d shared together last night, or they’d said in so many ways over their time together. They’d saved one another, brought each other back to life. Both had made mistakes, some worse than others, and they both knew that now it was time to pay the cost for that. This was a giant risk, but it was how it had to be.

Lifting a hand, Sam cupped Gabriel’s cheek, cradling his face for a moment, holding on to this amazing being that had saved his life, over and over. “I love you.” The word slipped easily past his lips. They didn’t say it often; they didn’t really need to. Both of them felt it.

Still, it felt good to say it, and it felt good to hear it too. “I love you too, Samshine.” Gabriel murmured back, rubbing his cheek against Sam’s palm. Then, true to form, his soft smile turned a bit more mischievous and the hands that had been on Sam’s hips slid back and around to grab two handfuls of the hunter’s ass, yanking him in close. “Try not to let anything happen to this, hm? I’ve got plans for some celebration sex when we’re done.”

Sam could’ve complained. He could’ve shot his mate one hell of a bitchface for doing that right in front of everyone. Instead, he grinned and pulled Gabriel in for a hard, biting kiss. When they broke apart, he smirked, enjoying the slightly dazed look on the trickster’s face. “I’ll hold you to that. You still owe me a honeymoon.”

They weren’t the only two sharing a quiet and private goodbye. When Sam turned around, he saw Bobby and Ellen moving apart, heading to their respective places, and Dean was standing firmly at Castiel’s side, their hands discreetly joined between them. A final look was shared between Jo and Ellen as well, a silent goodbye just in case. It tugged at Sam’s heart. He stepped out of the inner circle, through the next few layers of protection, until he finally stood on the outside. Then he looked back in at his family. So many people he cared about were here today. So many could be lost. All because he and his brother had been unable to let one another go. Whatever happened here today, whoever was hurt, or if they lost someone, it was a weight the younger Winchester was going to carry around for the rest of his life.

He watched Gabriel move to stand once more between the vessels and felt the call of magic begin in the air even before the first words were spoken. As he watched and waited, he prayed. Prayed like he hadn’t in far too long. _Please, God, if You’re up there, please watch over us today. Help me to keep my family and yours safe._

The magic in the air grew stronger until Sam swore he could feel it against his skin. He could see it in the air around him. Power and magic. At the center of it all stood Gabriel, Loki, archangel and pagan, calling forth the power and harnessing it. He stood with his arms stretched wide and his head tipped back, words spilling past his lips. It was amazing and terrifying all at the same time. A roll of thunder echoed through the sky and shook the ground, followed almost immediately by a flash of lightning. The bond inside of Sam was _singing_ with the power that Gabriel was calling to him. Though he didn’t know the language, there was a part of the hunter that almost thought he recognized the words, the feel of them. A bright call, backed by the force of Loki, sang out to the Heavens in the voice of the Messenger, raised for the first time in ages. A call that demanded attention, that wouldn’t be denied.

Light filled their clearing and Sam turned himself away. He saw briefly as his family did the same, the humans shielding their eyes from the burning brightness of these lights as they came pouring in, growing brighter and brighter. The humans had prepared for this, known it was coming, and they shielded their eyes now as best they could. Still, it hurt, the light so brilliant it shone even through closed and shielded eyes, burning brighter and brighter until Sam was sure that it would be too much, that this would be over for the humans here before it’d really even begun. The storm rolled above them with great big booms of thunder that shook the ground.

Then, in a flash of light that almost sent Sam to his knees, they were gone. He opened his eyes and blinked away the spots there in just enough time to see Castiel kneel and drop the match that lit the innermost circle around the altars. Holy fire sprang to life and quickly encircled the three at the center. Gabriel was trapped, now. Trapped with his two big brothers, who were sitting up in the bodies they wore, and oh man did they look _pissed_.

Sam wants to watch. He wants to see what’ll happen. Inside, he can feel Gabriel’s grief, feel the sorrow that’s pouring through him as the archangel stares at brothers he hasn’t seen in longer than Sam’s mind can comprehend. But there’s something else in the air, another power, and Sam spins around in just enough time to bring up his blade in defense against the angel that appears there.

The storm above made it almost impossible to hear anything, but Sam could hear the clash of angel blade against angel blade, and he saw out of the corner of his eye as Anna engaged the angel that appeared in front of her. Angels are appearing all around them, their blades at the ready, trying to find a way to break in. They aren’t the only ones, either. Demons show as well and there’s no more time for Sam to think, no more time for him to do anything but _move_ and _feel_ and _react_. In those long moments he’s beyond grateful for all the training Gabriel gave him in using his powers. He put it all to use then, exorcising as he goes, yanking demons out of their hosts with one hand and slashing out with the knife with his other. It’s like a giant dance, moving and twisting this way and that, running here to help as a demon tries to creep up on Dean, or distracting an angel there that went after Castiel.

There’s no time for him to check on his lover at the center of this all. Sam could only hold tight to the feeling inside of him that said that Gabriel was _alive_.

He caught a glimpse as he spun to slide his knife into yet another demon. His eyes passed over where Gabriel stood and then froze there. Even knowing that he needed to move, to defend himself, he couldn’t bring himself to look away. Gabriel was, _amazing_. He stood between the altars with a hand on the chest of either vessel and his eyes were _glowing_ with that familiar light that was both pagan and archangel, dark and light, and his wings lifted high and wide behind him. His head was thrown back and the light from the holy fire and the lightning made him look dangerous and amazing and so many other things that tore through Sam.

If it hadn’t been for Dean leaping out, covering his back once more, Sam would’ve died yet again to a knife in the back. “Sam!” His brother shouted. One hand grabbed his arm and yanked Sam forward. “Stare later, dude! Get your ass moving!”

A sudden voice shouted out in Sam’s head and he almost fell over from the sheer strength of it. _Get down_! It cried out to him. The words weren’t in English, were in what he thought might be Enochian, and yet he understood them perfectly. _Samuel, get everyone DOWN!_

“Down!” Sam shouted. He used his mouth and his powers both, casting the words out in a way he hadn’t even known he could, throwing them at every one of their allies here, his family and friends. “ _Get down, now!_ ” Grabbing at Dean’s arm, he yanked his brother down to the ground.

No sooner had they hit than suddenly the whole world seemed to explode around them. The storm overhead reached a new pitch, the thunder shaking them all, and the ground felt like it trembled with it. There was an explosion of light brighter than even before and Sam felt it as the absolute _power_ blasted over them in a giant shockwave. Screams echoed around them, barely audible over the thunder and the chanting and the call of what Sam was sure were the True Voices of three archangels, and he prayed and prayed that it was no one on their side that was hurt as the magic exploded outwards and then slammed back in.

Then, it all stopped.

In one breath everything stopped. The storm, the light, the earthquake—all of it stopped. The feel of magic in the air was gone, down to just a tiny little tingle in the back of Sam’s mind.

For one single, mind numbing, terrifying second, his sense of Gabriel seemed to have stopped as well, that place that Sam had grown used to feeling him now silent. In that single second was a grief unlike anything that Sam had ever known before. It filled him, threatened to consume him then and there, because life without Gabriel suddenly seemed like a life without anything in it at all. He curled his hands in the dirt in front of him and reached inward, reached deep down into himself to where that link had sat, to where Gabriel always was. He reached deeper and deeper, the grief in him growing more and more as he found nothing, the desperation building. No, no, _no_ , he couldn’t be gone, no! Sam didn’t care about whatever else was going on around him. He didn’t care as he heard the others moving, as he heard Dean start to get up beside him. Deeper and deeper he reached, searching for that gentle warmth, that tiny spark of his mate’s grace.

And then, a spark. A faint hint of it, so low and so weak that he almost hadn’t seen it. But it was there. _It was there_.

Sam gathered it to him. He curled his sense of self around it, used his powers, his _soul_ , he had no idea, only that he wrapped it all around this tiny little spark of grace inside of him, this bit of his lover. Then, without knowing what he was doing, or how the hell he even knew what to do, he pressed his soul against that bit of grace and opened himself up completely, offering everything he had, everything he was.

He could’ve sworn he saw that spark of grace flicker and brighten right before the whole world went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter left!


	23. Chapter 23

Sam woke up in what was a very familiar position. Stretched out on his stomach on an extremely soft bed, there was a weight pressing down over his back that automatically brought a smile to his lips even before his brain was fully alert. He knew the feel of that body, the soft puff of air against his shoulder blade, the curl of the foot around his calf. Even more than that, he knew the feel of the bond inside of him that was only ever this warm and content when he and Gabriel were pressed together skin to skin. There was nothing between them, no clothes or blankets to separate their bodies. It felt _wonderful_ and Sam made a low, happy sound, snuggling down more into his pillow and twisting just enough to better distribute Gabriel’s weight over him.

The moment he moved, a low ache spread through him, making itself known for the first time. It drew a pained sound from him before he could stop it. Almost instantly, Gabriel’s fingers slid up, ghosting over his temple, and the pain faded a little. “Try not to move yet.” The archangel murmured against his back. “You’re still recovering.”

“R’cov’ring?” The word came out a muffle, garbled mess against his pillow, but he had a feeling his mate got the hint. Why was he recovering? From what?

No sooner had he thought that question than his mind decided to wake up a little more. As it did, memories returned, little by little. The ritual, the fight, battling demons, and then that final blast, and… _oh_. Sam couldn’t stop himself from reaching inside to their bond and wrapping himself around it again. Only, this time, Gabriel was there, and he reached back. His grace stroked soothingly over Sam’s soul and quieted the panic that had flared up. “Shh.” Turning his head, Gabriel pressed light kisses against Sam’s spine and mouthed words against his skin. “I’m fine. Your idiotic stunt worked, handsome. And don’t think we’re not gonna talk about that. I healed most of the injuries on your body, you’re you used a lot of energy and your powers and your soul need a chance to recover.”

_I don’t even know what I did_ , Sam thought at him.

“Souls are pretty powerful, Sammy. You used yours to grip on to the bit of grace our bonding put in you and you fed me the strength to hold the rest of myself together. I told you when we bonded, if anything ever happened to me I’d come to that bit of me that was in you. It would’ve let me heal, eventually. You just made it happen a bit faster.”

Unspoken in there was Gabriel’s annoyance at Sam for taking a risk that, in the archangel’s mind, he didn’t have to take. Eventually, theoretically, Gabriel would’ve been okay. Time would’ve allowed him to heal. But, like he’d said when they’d done their bonding, this was all theoretical. Sam hadn’t been willing to take that risk. Hell, he hadn’t even thought about it. All he’d known was that he needed his partner back, needed the one who’d become like the other half of him, and he would’ve done anything to make that happen. He wasn’t going to be sorry about it. Not when it meant that Gabriel was _here_ and _alive._ Now that he knew that Gabriel was okay, though, his mind moved on to other worries. _What about everyone else? Are they okay?_

“They’re fine. A few injuries, but Cassy and Anna got em squared away. An before you ask, yes, everything worked out fine. My brothers are human, with their graces safely locked away.” A few more kisses were placed over Sam’s spine, moving up towards his neck. A shiver ran down him when he felt Gabriel chuckle. “We even found a home for them.”

That was enough to have Sam unburying his face from the pillow. He turned his head just enough to look over his shoulder with one eye. “What?”

Gabriel’s face lifted up enough that Sam could see it for the first time since he’d woken up. See the bright eyes, full of humor, and that wonderful smirk. See the exhaustion, too, the lines around his eyes and the bags under them that showed that Sam wasn’t the only one that needed to rest and recover. They’d deal with that in a minute, though. For the moment he was too interested in what Gabriel had to say.

“Yep. According to Dean-o, Papa Singer’s decided to add two more boys to his adopted family.”

“Bobby?” Shock colored Sam’s tone. “Bobby’s going to take them in?” Oh, man, those two had no idea what they were in for. Bobby wouldn’t take shit off of either one of them. He wouldn’t tolerate petty fighting or anything like that. Sam and Dean had learned that lesson many times. If there was anyone on the planet who might be able to help those two work through their issues, Sam had to admit that Bobby was probably the one who would be able to do it. He had plenty of experience on working with a pair of stubborn, pissed off brothers, after all.

Gabriel chuckled again and lowered himself back down to nuzzle over Sam’s spine. “From what Cassy says, Bobby’s already put them in their place.”

The way he said that had Sam furrowing his brow. _‘From what Cassy says’, ‘According to Dean-o’_. Those two lines brought up one important question. “You haven’t seen them?”

He felt Gabriel freeze momentarily against his back. Then, he deliberately made himself relax. “Neither one is all that eager to see me right now.” Gabriel said it casually, but Sam felt the bit of hurt underneath it, just as he felt the resignation that followed. Gabriel had gone into this knowing that his brothers might very well hate him for what he’d done. Yet, he’d done it anyways, because he loved them far more than he’d ever loved himself, and because he loved Sam too much to lose him to this war.

Reaching back, Sam traced the fingers of one hand over Gabriel’s thigh. _Give them time. Bobby’ll make them understand_.

A soft hum was the only answer he got.

Sam let himself lay there for a few moments as Gabriel continued to press soft, unassuming kisses against his spine, his shoulders, even up to his neck. There was no real promise in them, no hint of moving to something more. Just the soft press of lips in gesture that said clearer than words just how loved Sam was and how grateful Gabriel was that he was okay. Sam let himself bask in it for a bit. He was okay, Gabriel was okay, their whole family was okay. The rituals had worked, the _apocalypse was over_ , and Bobby was apparently in charge of their wayward archangels. Everything was done. It was really, really done. It felt like a weight he’d been carrying around was finally gone. The apocalypse was over. They’d done it. They’d really done it.

Still, he couldn’t help but question it. Too often the good things always seemed to come with a catch.  “What happens next?”

“We spend the next few days in bed alternating between sleeping, sex, and eating.” Gabriel answered promptly.

Sam rolled his eyes even as a part of him cheered at the idea. “ _Gabriel_.”

The archangel let out a sigh. His forehead pressed against Sam’s skin and his warm breath was a soft tickle. “I’ll have to take a trip or two upstairs, make sure things stay in order and that no one tries to start anything big.” Even without being able to see him, Sam knew the disgusted expression he’d have at that. Returning home was at the very bottom of Gabriel’s list of things he wanted to do. “Other than that, I guess things go back to the way they used to be. You and your brother hunt, take out the baddies of the world. You’ll just have a few extra companions here and there.”

“You’ll come with us?” Sam couldn’t help how hopeful he’d sounded. This was what he’d wanted, after all, and what he’d never really believed he’d get. The idea that Gabriel would stick with him, would want to _hunt_ with him, had been one he’d entertained in so many ways and yet one that he’d worried might never happen.

A sharp nip to his back reprimanded him for even thinking like that. “Just try and get rid of me. You’re _mine_ , Sam Winchester.”

“What about Dean?”

“Leave that to Cassy. I’m sure he’ll convince your brother just fine.”

There were so many other questions that Sam wanted to ask. So many things his mind was still worrying on. But his body was letting him know how tired it still was and his eyes were sliding shut almost against his will. He felt Gabriel shift and press a little closer and then there was a soft rustling sound that Sam knew meant his mate had brought his wings out to wrap around them. “Sleep, Samshine.” Gabriel kissed the back of his neck and then tipped his face to rest his cheek against Sam’s skin. “There’ll be plenty of time for questions later. Everyone’s alive, the world’s safe, the apocalypse is over—everything else can wait. Just, sleep.”

Held safely in the wings of his trickster archangel, feeling freer than he had in years, that was just what Sam did. He stopped trying to fight it and let himself drift off to sleep to the soft lullaby of whispering feathers and the soft hum of his lover’s voice against his back.


End file.
